Read Change (The Shape Shifter Series) Online
Authors: Jennifer Loiske
“I know that, but I need you here. Someone must protect Clarissa if things go wrong. And besides, there are probably tens or even hundreds of shape shifters waiting for us, and that's too many. Even you can't win against them. Believe me. This is the only way.”
Adam grunted and hugged her hard. “I don't like this.”
“I know,” Sofia whispered into his hair.
“Does David know?” Sofia kept silent and didn't meet his eyes. Adam sighed. “I thought so. So why are you letting him come? He can't help you and he'll only be in your way. I could be more useful, and you know that!”
Sofia nodded. “He is Marie's dad, so I can't stop him, and you know, things might turn good after all. We can't know what will happen. Not for sure.”
He grinned dryly. “Yeah, and pigs can fly! Of course we can! They'll hate you, and you know that. Well, maybe not your parents, but the others. They'll hate you and everything you represent.”
They looked at each other. Adam knew he couldn't change her mind, and she would've given anything for not needing to go. But Marie was dying. The doctors were helpless. They had tried every possible medicine. Every treatment they knew. But they still couldn't find out what was wrong with her. Yes, she had very difficult epilepsy, but that was not the main disorder. It was only one symptom and it was getting worse in a deadly way. In Senja she would at least get the chance of something else.
“Promise me one thing. You'll call me if you need any help. Okay?” Adam said quietly.
“Sure. Okay.”
They both knew that would be the last thing she would do. There was no way she was going to put Clarissa in any danger if she could avoid it. If things got bad in Senja, Adam would have to hide her and do whatever it took to keep her safe.
Sofia was now crying openly. She fondled Adam's handsome face and held his hands in hers. His eyes were also full of tears.
Clarissa was in shock. What did this mean? What could possibly be so bad that both Adam and Mom were afraid? She didn't like this at all. But she knew she couldn't push her mom now. She could coax Adam later, but now she had to pretend that she hadn't heard a thing. She turned quietly and went to Marie.
Marie smiled at her. Her green eyes were misty and the look on her face was confused. Clarissa kissed her cheeks and hugged her tight. “Be safe, little sister,” she whispered and put her nose on her neck. Marie giggled and Clarissa gave her more cold nose-kisses and then watched Adam and Mom walk towards the cars and glance at each other. Mom tried to look brave, but she could sense that she was scared, and that made her scared too.
Clarissa hugged Marie once more and went to the cars. She squeezed her mom and dad tightly and then stepped into Adam's arms. Sighing, she watched as the cars drove away, splashing slush. Flow and Bruun, their shepherd dogs, sat quietly at her feet, and for once their tails didn't wag. The dogs were mourning as well.
“Come now,” Adam grunted. “I know what will make you feel better.”
Clarissa's cheeks flashed bright red and she glanced around. The yard was empty, thank God, so no one had heard his shameless suggestion.
Adam put his hand on her bottom and let it stay there a while. She shivered and pressed herself closer, but he pushed her gently away and grinned. “You have a dirty mind; this time I didn't have anything like that in mind. Matt is baking cookies, and if we're sneaky enough, I think we might be able to steal his dough bowl.”
She grinned back. “What are we waiting for then? Let's go!”
They ran hand in hand to the back door, but just before they reached the corner she turned and whispered softly, “Beannachd leibh.”
Marie clapped her hands like a little child. She was thrilled. She had no idea what was happening, but she was happy to get away from home. She glanced around and let her gaze drop to her lap. People were eyeing her in a funny way, and no wonder. She wasn’t a child anymore but a nearly sixteen-year-old young woman, so she shouldn’t be clapping, but she couldn’t stop it. Maybe if she could get Tiamhaidh’s attention he would help, but he had been arguing a while now with a stubborn-looking woman. She tried to calm her mind by inhaling and exhaling steadily, but it wasn’t easy. Especially when she heard people laughing, and she was sure they were laughing at her. She let herself take a quick look around, but soon turned her eyes back to her lap. The airport looked kind of twisted. Comic-like, actually. People were rushing to their flights. Some of them ran and some of them walked, but they all had a goal, as they all seemed to know exactly where they were going. She was the only lost one there.
Mom and Dad had disappeared to the gift stores and Gavin and Daniel were probably chasing some unsuspecting student girls that were hanging around the airport cafés. Marie giggled involuntarily and felt a warm hand on her shoulder. She sighed deeply and turned her big green eyes on Tiamhaidh. He smiled at her and she put her hand on his. A woman glanced in annoyance at her and made
a ‘tsk’ sound. Tiamhaidh turned to the woman again and Marie blinked, unable to believe her eyes when she flashed a satisfied smile at her. Marie swallowed and looked at them. The woman was standing awfully close to him, tapping her foot and browsing some papers, and he was staring at her. His blue eyes were ice-cold and he didn't smile one bit, but that didn’t seem to bother her. She licked her lips nervously and put her hand on his arm calmingly, whispering something while her eyes momentarily found Marie before settling on his face again. Tiamhaidh didn’t respond. He looked deadly serious and finally the woman sighed and raised her hands. He nodded stiffly and pushed Marie's wheelchair slightly.
The woman started to walk beside them, leading them towards a giant tin bird.
An airplane, Marie's mind screamed. It was an airplane, and she knew it, but she felt so tired and a wave of dizziness threatened to overwhelm her. Her fingers dug into her thighs and she blinked rapidly. Small colorful dots danced behind her lids and her left leg twitched slightly. Stop it, she cried silently, but her mind was a confused mess, and no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t calm herself down. She tried to focus on the plane and force herself to remember, but she only had a vague idea what an airplane did. She knew she should remember, but she couldn't. And there was no way she was going to embarrass herself by asking. She could already see the mocking look in the woman’s eyes and she knew she was wondering what a man like Tiamhaidh saw in a weird girl in a wheelchair. She shook her head and wanted to cry and then noticed she couldn’t stop it. Great. Now she was having dyskinesia. She wished she could die. Her brain was covered with a deathly mist caused by the drugs, but without them she would die. So it was a dead end either way.
She tried to focus on the plane again. It looked big and scary and she didn't want to go in it. The woman talked to some guy next to the plane’s entrance and handed him some papers before smiling at Tiamhaidh. He didn’t return the smile but turned his eyes on Marie, giving her his lopsided smile. Marie smiled back shakily. Her eyes were glued to his and she could feel his mind touching hers warmly. She wished she could connect with him like she used to, but knew that was unlikely to happen. Not if the elders couldn’t help her.
Tiamhaidh put his hand on her cheek and let it rest there for a while. She pressed her cheek to it and swallowed. There was an awful lump in her throat, but she didn’t want him to see how she felt. She glanced at him quickly. The blue in his eyes dazzled her. She reached out her hand and touched his arm. He was shockingly good-looking, and when he smiled at her, she smiled back.
No matter how sick she was she should stop whining and try to behave. She trusted him unconditionally, and if he wanted her to go in the plane, she would. She would push her fears aside and
act like it wasn’t a big thing, which was probably true, but in her twisted world it was hard to know the difference between the truth and her imagination. She felt so helpless and she wished she could put her seizures into a jar and throw it as far away as possible.
Tiamhaidh squeezed her shoulder gently and turned to the man with the papers. They exchanged a couple of hushed words before he
led them inside the plane and Tiamhaidh helped Marie sit on a tiny bench. She glanced at the exciting-looking round window.
She was enchanted. It wasn't so scary being inside the plane. Not if she didn't think any scary thoughts. She tried to concentrate on the magazine Tiamhaidh had put on her lap, but it was impossible. She was inside a giant tin can that looked like a condor, and soon they would fly like a bird. She swallowed.
A part of her was excited but another part was terrified. Deep inside she knew she had flown before and that she had loved it, but when she tried to rationalize it to herself, her imagination took over. Think something else, she ordered herself. She looked out of the window again and saw a group of men in coveralls busying around the plane. Some of them were pushing luggage into the hold and some drove around in small vehicles that looked like Lego cars. What a lot of things this plane was able to eat, she thought in horror. What if the plane ate her? Or worse. What if it ate Tiamhaidh? Stop! You idiot, her mind cried, but images kept flashing inside her head and she felt panic drowning her. She knew she was being ridiculous, but she couldn’t stop the crazy thoughts that were whirling in her mind. She turned to Tiamhaidh and stared at him with wide eyes. Her mouth gasped the air like a fish on dry land, but before she got a word out of her mouth her mom pressed a plastic cone onto her face. The air that flowed out of it made her breathe better and she tried to smile at her. Her mom didn't notice.
“Are you okay?” Tiamhaidh asked and Marie nodded.
She was not. But how could she say so? She felt drugged, and she probably was. She remembered a huge mound of pills that he had given her. However, she felt drugged all the time, so she couldn't be sure if it was the pills or her disorder.
Tiamhaidh took the magazine from her lap and browsed it absentmindedly. She glanced at him and sighed. He looked very mature with his dark jeans and black turtleneck shirt, and what was she? A frightened little girl with a sickness that would probably kill her before the year was over. She sighed again and he touched her hand lightly. A devastating sadness hit her. She could see how other women looked at him.
Like the woman that helped her get in the plane. She had stared at him with a silent plea in her beautiful eyes. Even when they were fighting, she had given her full attention to him and barely glanced at her, like she didn’t exist. And the air hostesses were as bad. They kept glancing at him when they thought no one was looking. But that wasn’t news to her. She’d thought she’d gotten used to it, as it happened everywhere he went; but no, she couldn’t help the light stab of jealousy that made her heart ache. He squeezed her hand and she smiled at him. He looked at her, returning the smile. His blue eyes locked into hers for a moment and she swallowed. She loved him so much and was so lucky he loved her back.
Her mom took the cone away from her face and nodded slightly to the strange woman. At that moment, Marie noticed the talking around her. When she looked around she saw that every tiny bench held a passenger, and each one of them was busy strapping themselves to the seat with some kind of belt.
“A seatbelt,” Tiamhaidh smiled and buckled Marie's belt. His fingers stopped for a moment on the bare skin that was visible under her shirt. She sighed with pleasure.
She missed his touch. She felt like some fragile object, or at least Tiamhaidh had been treating her as such lately. Only Adam had acted like she was normal.
She glanced quickly around. Panic blurred her vision. “Adam!” she screamed miserably. “Where's Adam?”
Jealousy flashed in Tiamhaidh's eyes, but he forced it away. “Adam's home with Clarissa.”
Marie looked at her mom's eyes. Everything seemed like a mess. She was a mess. She didn't know who she was anymore. She was walking in a thick mist and she was totally lost. Sometimes it was hard for her to know where she was and at times she woke in the middle of the night and felt like she was floating. As if she didn't have a body. She pressed her fingers to her temples. Her head was always aching and she couldn't remember things. Her seizures were slowly killing her and she knew it. Everyone tiptoed around her and treated her with silk gloves until she wanted to scream. Only Adam told her the truth. Not that she always understood it, but he told her the truth. She squeezed her eyes closed. She felt stupid and childish. Of course Adam was with Clarissa. She should've known. She should really stop panicking and let the others lead her. She should ignore the world around her, as it had changed into a strange, frightening place. Her memory was full of holes and questions she could never find any answers to and she truly hoped they would find a cure for her in Senja. She wanted to rip apart the mist in her mind and be well again. She didn't want to die, but she was too weak to fight.
The engines boomed and the plane started to roll slowly through the deserted airport. Marie turned and looked out of the window. She felt Tiamhaidh's warm hand on her thigh and she heard Mom and Dad talking quietly. Gavin and Daniel were entertaining the air hostesses and she could hear their low laughter behind her. Everything seemed fine and yet so confusing. She felt like she was a burden to the others and she hated it.
She closed her eyes and tried to sleep. Everyone was talking about Senja and the elders, but she had no clue what they meant. The only thing she did know was that she would meet her mom's parents and that they could probably help her.