Change of Heart (10 page)

He shouldn’t have held her; he shouldn’t have
kissed her. Staring at his land from the top of Beaumont, Jase
pulled his glove from his hand and touched his lips. He’d never
experienced anything so gut-wrenchingly wonderful as the feel of
Marietta’s silky cheek. He’d never tasted anything half as sweet as
her rosy lips. The moment he’d held her close to his heart, he’d
known he could never live without her again.

He kicked his mount and sent him into a
frenzied run. Dust flew from hooves raising clouds of anger. Why
did he have to care for her so much? If she’d stayed in Chicago,
he’d have been so much better off. Zack would have become his son,
and he’d never have known a love with Marietta he could never
have.

Beaumont drove over the earth, grinding his
shod hooves over rocks and dirt, throwing earthen powder into the
air. Jase clung tightly to his mount, becoming one with the racing
horse, moving gracefully with the animal, running with the
steed--running away from the love in his heart. But he knew he
couldn’t get away from his feelings for Marietta by driving his
horse to its death. He reined in the stallion until the animal
cantered methodically over the earth.

Maybe he should ask Marietta to stay.

He dismissed the thought as quickly as it had
come. She was a refined lady, a city woman. She hadn’t made it a
secret that she didn’t like the wilderness. Few women did. Kathy
and Amy Carson had been extraordinary exceptions. Marietta would
never in a hundred years consent stay, even if she felt the same
way about him as he felt about her.

Besides, he had his land speculation to tend
to. He’d be gone a good deal of time with that project. It wouldn’t
be fair to Marietta for him to be away so much if she did agree to
stay. He rode to the barn, checked in with the ranch hands, and
decided to have supper with them.

He finished his chores early so he could get
a good night’s sleep. The next day he was taking Mrs. Whipple to
her son’s home for Christmas, and, on his way back, he was to meet
James Richards at Fort Kearney to discuss their schedule for next
spring’s exploration.

When he returned, he’d spend some time alone
with Marietta and Zack.

~ * ~

Marietta watched from the parlor window as
Jase and Mabel rode away. The farther they went, the more alone she
felt. Zack stood beside her, clinging to her skirt.

“I wish Jase and Mrs. Whipple didn’t have to
go, Aunt Marietta.”

“Me too, but Mrs. Whipple wants to be with
her son for Christmas.” She crouched next to Zack and kissed his
cheek. “Just like I want to be with you. You can’t blame her for
leaving, can you?”

He shook his head. “I know she had to go. Her
son doesn’t have anyone to make him Christmas cookies.”

“That’s right. And Mrs. Whipple couldn’t go
alone, so Jase is taking her. Her son will bring her back here next
month sometime.”

Zack scratched through his blonde curls.
“Next month? We’ll be gone before that.” He twisted his face as he
thought. “While we’re here, you can cook for Jase and take care of
him, but who will take care of him after we go before Mrs. Whipple
comes back?”

Marietta hadn’t thought about taking care of
Jase the way Zack had suggested since Jase had been spending most
of his time working or in the bunkhouse with the ranch hands. The
thought of doing things for him--cooking for him and caring for
him--appealed to her much more than it should have. “Jase doesn’t
need someone to take care of him every minute. He will always be
fine. He’s a very strong and capable man.”

Calling Jase by his first name sent pleasure
coursing through her. What a wondrous time it had been in Pine Rock
Hollow the day they became intimate enough to speak to each other
on a first-name basis. Marietta tucked the pleasure of her love for
Jase deeply into her heart. On cold winter days to come in Aunt
Mamie’s house--days filled with loneliness and loss--Marietta would
be able to take out the day she’d spent with Jase in the wondrous,
mysterious hollow and chase away the emptiness inside her. She’d be
able to remember the heavenly touch of Jase’s lips against hers and
the beat of her own heart as he’d pressed her close to him. She
would always be able to remember the day she’d fallen in love.

Two days after Jase left with Mrs. Whipple, a
snowstorm fell over the ranch. Though the storm was nowhere near as
bad as the one that had delayed Marietta’s return to Chicago, it
was serious enough to frighten her deeply. If it weren’t for the
concern and comfort of Jase’s kind ranch hands, she would have
spent every waking moment worrying about his safe return home and
her trip back to Chicago with Zack.

Spike Farley assured her that Jase was one of
the few men who could find his way around a prairie at night
without moonlight. He promised her Jase would get home safely, and
he’d get Zack and her to their stage in plenty of time.

While Spike’s words did give her great
comfort, his reassurance began to wear thin six days after Jase
left since he’d said he’d be gone only three or four days. If the
snow had delayed him a day, he still should have been home. By late
evening on the sixth day, Marietta was in a panic, although she’d
had to reassure Zack that everything would be all right. She told
him she was sure Jase would be home the next day. In the evening
she stayed with him until he fell asleep, then she went down to the
parlor to worry all alone.

She stared out the window for hours, but she
could see nothing moving in the moonlight that reflected off the
remaining snow. Jase could travel at night if he wanted to--Spike
had said he could. There was enough moonlight to make it easy to
see. Mrs. Whipple’s son lived only eight or nine miles northeast of
the fort. Jase had told her he had a few other errands to attend
to, but he still should have been back.

Marietta moved away from the window and sat
on the rich-green sofa. The flowered lamp on the stand next to the
couch shone brightly, warming the empty room, but its luminance did
little to comfort her aching heart. She glanced at the timepiece
that hung around her neck: it was past two in the morning. She laid
her head back on the sofa, closed her eyes, and prayed for Jase’s
safe return.

In a little while, she fell into a deep
sleep.

~ * ~

Jase saw a light burning in the window as he
approached his house. Marietta must be up early tending to his
household. The thought warmed his half-frozen body. He’d forced
himself to put thoughts of her out of his mind while making his
trip. She’d be leaving soon. It wasn’t safe to love her as much as
he did.

His meeting with James Richards and the other
members of the consortium who’d traveled to Fort Kearney had helped
him push Marietta and Zack out of his mind. The hunt for land where
they could locate their new town and its successful establishment
was going to take much more time than Jase had thought.

He’d hardly be able to spend any time at his
ranch at all over the next spring, summer, and fall. He’d have to
trust one of his men to manage his operation at home. Maybe he’d
divide up the responsibilities according to each man’s strongest
suit: Lone Wolf for horses, Miguel for the money management, Stub
for the cattle, and Spike for upkeep and care of the buildings.

The new venture was so exciting. Every man at
the meeting had been certain that building the right town at the
right location along the Oregon Trail would bring them immediate
substantial returns on their investments. And, if the railroad
eventually built along or near that route, the speculators would
make a fortune. Jase would have a legacy to pass on to Zack, and
his name would be remembered for all time as a founder of one of
the first towns along a well-traveled western route.

He tied his horse to the hitching post near
his front door and hurried up the steps to his house. Once he’d
hung his winter wear in the front closet, his boots carried him
straight to the parlor. He stopped short when he saw Marietta
sleeping on his sofa. His heart squeezed tightly in his chest.

She was a vision of exquisiteness. Her
cinnamon hair lay over her shoulders, and she wore the flattering
blue shirtwaist she’d made from goods Mrs. Whipple had given her.
She lay as still as a church bench on a Monday morning, and Jase
could think of only one thing: taking her into his arms and telling
her how much he loved her.

Suddenly, the land speculation meant nothing
to him. Fame held no lure. Fortune was useless. All he needed or
wanted in the world was Marietta.

He took slow steps toward her, admiring her
beauty as he made his approach. After blowing out the light in the
lamp next to the sofa, he took the quilt from the back of the couch
and covered her.

“Jase!” Zack’s excited whisper caught him by
surprise.

He turned and signaled the boy to be quiet
then he picked him up and hugged him soundly. “Speak softly, Zack.
Marietta is sleeping.”

“She was worried about you, Jase,” he
whispered.

“She was?”

Zack pulled back and looked up at Jase as he
nodded. “Yup. I saw her looking out the window all day yesterday.
She kept saying, ‘I hope Jase comes home soon’.”

“She did?” Jase didn’t like Marietta to be
worried, but it was nice to hear that she cared about him. He
carried Zack into the kitchen. “Are you hungry, son?”

He rubbed his tummy when Jase set him down.
“I could eat a whole steer.”

Jase chuckled lightly. “That’s pretty hungry.
How about some side meat and fried potatoes?”

“And flapjacks with apple jelly?”

Jase fluffed the boy’s disheveled, slept-on
hair with his fingers. “I’m not sure I can make flapjacks anywhere
near as good as Mrs. Whipple’s, but I’m sure I can handle the side
meat and potatoes. Maybe we could make some beans too.”

“Whatever you say, Jase. I’m just glad you’re
home. Aunt Marietta said you’d be all right, and you are.”

“Did I hear my name?” Marietta leaned against
the arch between the parlor and the kitchen.

Jase nearly dropped the cast iron pan he was
holding on his foot when he looked at her. She’d been beautiful
enough to knock a man over when she was lying on the sofa sound
asleep, but awake and smiling at him, she was too lovely for words.
As he locked gazes with her, the grin left her face. She started
moving toward him, and he handed the skillet to Zack. As though it
were exactly what they were supposed to do, the man and woman
wrapped their arms around each other and pressed their hearts
together.

“I was worried about you, Jase.” The whimper
of concern in her voice set his heart on fire.

“I told you she was worried,” Zack said
smugly. He put the skillet on the table and threw his arms around
the legs of the embracing couple.

“I’m sorry I was late,” Jase said. “I didn’t
mean to worry anyone, especially not the two of you.”

“Lift me up, Jase. I want to hug with
you.”

Jase reluctantly stepped out of Marietta’s
arms and happily lifted Zack to his hip. The boy wrapped one arm
around Jase and the other around his aunt.

“Give us a hug, Aunt Marietta.”

She did as he requested, linking herself with
Jase and the boy on his hip.

“We’re all together now,” Zack said
triumphantly. “It’s just like we’re a family.”

Jase was bone tired after traveling
throughout the night to get home, but he couldn’t fall asleep when
he went to bed. Zack’s words from that morning rolled around in his
head.
It’s like we’re a family.
The boy was right. Jase felt
it himself, and he wouldn’t be surprised if Marietta felt it
too.

But, what was he to do? He’d never wanted a
family. He’d always had everything a man could want. He loved
adventure and new undertakings like starting a ranch in Texas and
another one in the Nebraska territory, and building a new town
along the Oregon Trail.

He stood on the threshold of opportunity few
men had ever known. He was becoming an integral part of a growing
nation’s advancement. It was only a matter of time before the
railroad came through Nebraska and the territory became a state.
His plans for the future had been made.

He left his bunk and went to the window. A
light burned in Marietta’s bedroom across the yard from the
bunkhouse. He swallowed hard.

He’d never truly, deeply loved anyone before,
not anyone. He’d been on his own as long as he could remember. When
he became a man, he made good friends with people like Clint, Stub,
Lone Wolf, Miguel, Spike, and, of course, Kathy, Amy, and Will.
He’d grown terribly fond of them all, but he’d never lost his heart
completely to another person until Marietta came into his life.

Not that Zack hadn’t wormed his way under
Jase’s skin, but his feelings for Zack were entirely different from
his feelings for Marietta. The light in her room went out, and he
stared at her window a moment longer. When he turned away, he made
his hand into a fist and slammed it against the wall.

He couldn’t have it both ways. If he wanted
to be a part of the land consortium, he’d have to forget about
Marietta. He knew that was the right thing to do, or at least part
of him knew it. If only he could squelch the part of him that told
him he was a blasted fool to let a chance at love pass him by.

If he asked Marietta to stay--and in the
unlikely event she took him up on his offer--he’d lose his one shot
at immortality and financial success beyond his wildest dreams
because he’d have to give up the land speculation.

How could a man choose between two perfect
dreams?

~ * ~

Two days before Christmas, Marietta woke to
one of the happiest days of her life. She’d promised Zack they’d
make cookies together all day long. Zack had coaxed and cajoled
Jase into promising he’d help with the tasty Christmas
preparations. It would be a wonderful day.