Change of Heart (16 page)

Her chest tightened. Reminders of Matt were everywhere. When would the pain of loving him end? Never, she was afraid. Love for the office, patients, and medicine also left emptiness. She longed to have those things back in her life too, but she dismissed the desire. Without Matt, patients and medicine meant nothing.

Ruth removed the box from Becca's grip and tucked it away on a shelf. “Are these fabric swatches from Matt's old shirts?”

“Yes. I couldn't wait to stitch him a pocket quilt. Now it makes no sense.”

Ruth knelt beside her sister. “You miss him and your work as a nurse. Two big losses in your life are going to make you sad for a long time, unless you change your mind.”

Becca's cheeks heated. “Please don't argue with me about this matter.”

Ruth held up her hands. “I am not going to argue with you. I can tell your mind is made up. Maybe a change of scenery will take your mind off things. Go and visit Hester. If you help deliver babies, then Grace wouldn't have to shun you while you all three work together. The bishop would find this acceptable. Visiting Mamm and Daed would be another matter. You'll have to wait to visit them until they come here.”

She had missed Hester and Grace. What a great idea Ruth had. She could birth boppli again. At least she would be helping people. Maybe she would sneak over at night and visit her parents. No, Ruth was right. She didn't want to cause any trouble for her parents with the bishop. Ruth's idea to visit Grace and Hester was a good one. Yes, she would do it. “I'll leave tomorrow.”

A few days later, Matt visited Ruth at her shop. His face twisted with worry. He rubbed his brow and paced. “Is Becca here today?” He looked around the room.

Ruth crossed her arms. “Becca went to visit her friend Hester, the midwife.”

“Is she coming back?”

“Yes. She has left her Amish life behind whether the two of you end up together or not. She needed some time away. I told her to marry you in spite of your mother, but she will not listen. A small part of me understands her decision.”

He needed Ruth on his side. Becca listened to her. “You and she are close. Give me advice. What can I do to get her back?”

Ruth went to the small kitchen and opened up a container of coffee. “You have done all you can. I have pleaded in your favor numerous times.”

He lifted two mugs and handed them to Ruth. Becca was too stubborn. Her strong will would cost them a future together. “I have not seen this side of her before, and I do not like it.”

Ruth poured the coffee and pressed her lips in a tight line. “As much as you and I do not agree with Becca, we have to honor her commitment to God and her belief she is doing His will.”

Matt placed his mug on the table with force. “I believe God brought us together. Becca is keeping us apart.” He left with those angry words hanging between them. His life had turned into a nightmare.

He arrived at the office. His mother was waiting.

“You are not welcome here. How many times do I need to say it for you to respect my wishes?” He walked into his office and sat at his desk.

She followed and pounced like an angry cat. “You should be ashamed of yourself. You have ignored our letters and have not visited for weeks. Your father is upset because you have been returning his research unread.” She slid her gloved hand along a bookshelf. “This place is filthy. Everything is a mess. Your supplies are strewn all over the place and your books are scattered on your desk. The trash is overflowing. You kept a neat office until Becca came along.”

He rose from his chair and slammed a book on the desk. “I will not listen to you insult Becca. She is a neat and orderly person. I am too. I have not been the same since she left. She is no longer working here or in my life because of you.” He could not stand the sight of his mother. She had ruined his life, again.

Her nostrils flared. “You should thank me. In a few years, you would have been sick of her. She would embarrass you over and over with her inability to carry on a decent conversation. Someone with your education needs more stimulating conversation than to talk only about the weather or chapel.”

“You are wrong. The sound of her voice and the way she carries herself without an arrogant bone is what attracted me to Becca in the first place. I found her refreshing because she is not worldly.”

She threw back her head and scoffed. “You do not get it. She is interested in your trust fund, not you.”

He lifted his stethoscope and slapped it against his thigh. “This shows how little you know about her. You could learn from her humbleness, kind heart, and true faith in God.” Instead of his mother teaching Becca worldly things, his mother would be better off learning kindness and humility from the woman he planned to marry.

She peeled off her gloves and waved them in his face. “I go to chapel and believe in God. I cannot believe you would insinuate otherwise.”

He doubted she learned anything from the sermons. Her actions did not portray that she did. “It is one thing to go to chapel, and it is another to put your faith into action. I doubt God is happy with the way you have treated Becca.”

She clicked her boots as she stepped back from his desk. “You will realize in time I have done what any mother would do for her son when he has chosen the wrong woman for a wife.”

Matt stepped close. “Most mothers respect their children and do not meddle in their lives. You have crossed the line with me, and I do not want to see you for a long time, if ever. I have patients coming soon. Please leave and do not come back.”

She gasped, turned on her heel, and slammed the door as she stormed out.

He shook his head. The woman was exasperating. He was ashamed to call her his mother.

Chapter Fifteen

Two days later, Becca rode in the stagecoach to Hester's house. As she traveled to Berlin, Ohio, her mind flooded with memories of times she had spent birthing boppli with her friends. The snow had melted, but the air remained cold. She covered her legs with one of the blankets the driver left inside the stagecoach for passengers. Then she pulled a bag of butter cookies and ajar of water from her bag. Glad to be the only passenger, she opened her King James Version of the Bible to read but dropped it on her lap.

Matt was probably at Lizzie's ordering his usual bread and eggs. A vision of his long legs, broad shoulders, handsome face, and dark hair sent a thrill through her. She loved him. She always would. Part of her wanted to return to Massillon, run inside Lizzie's, and agree they should be together. The other part said no when Mrs. Carrington's face flashed in her mind.

She opened her Bible and thumbed through the pages until she found the Book of John. She read for a few hours and then ate two cookies from her bag. Two wild horses ran alongside the stagecoach. They didn't have a care in the world. She wished the same were true for her and Matt. She read a few more chapters and then the stagecoach halted in Berlin. She breathed in the cold, fresh air and pulled her burnoose tight around her. She headed to Hester's home. The barn door was open, and Hester sat on a stool milking.

“I thought I would surprise you with a visit.” She loved her friend's dark black hair and eyes and her rail-thin frame. She admired the woman's willingness to help mamms birth their boppli day or night.

Hester rose, wiped her hands on her apron, and circled her arms around Becca. “What a wonderful idea! You wrote me you were working as a nurse and in love with a handsome doctor. How did you find time to come and visit me? Don't get me wrong, I'm delighted to have you.”

“I needed some time away, and I've missed you. If you don't mind, I would like to stay with you for a few days and help you and Grace with birthing boppli.”

“I could use the help, and you are always welcome here. Grace is meeting me here in the morning. She will be thrilled to see you. You look pretty in your yellow calico dress.” She touched the ribbon in her hair. “I like your locks fixed this way. The ribbon is a nice touch.”

“Ruth's a stickler for ringlets and does them for me. I prefer soft curls or a braided bun, but I never turn down her offer to fix my hair.” She ran her hand over the buttons lining the front of her dress. “I do enjoy wearing colors and buttons.”

Hester lifted her pail of milk and went inside the house. She poured the milk into two jars and put them in the icebox. She extended her arm. “Hand me your burnoose. I put a fire in the iron stove. Go warm your hands. The weather's cold outside.”

Becca stretched her fingers in front of the warm stove. Soon, Hester had hot apples in one pan and vegetable stew simmering in another. Coming to Hester's lifted her spirits. Her house was cozy and diverted her attention away from Matt at least for the moment. “I'm hungry.” She glanced in the pan. “Warm cinnamon apples are one of my favorite dishes.”

“Mine too. I'm surprised you would leave work and your beau.” Hester scooped the food onto plates.

“Matt and I aren't courting any longer. I had to quit working as his nurse, and I have been helping Ruth in her mending shop. It was too awkward to continue working in the office with him, under the circumstances.”

“Did you have an argument?” A loud bang startled them. The door blew open from the wind. Hester used her foot to close it.

Becca tested the heat of the apples. “No, it was because of his mamm.” She recounted her story regarding Matt's mamm and why she ended things with him.

Juice from the apples dripped from Becca's spoon onto her skirt. She wiped it with a cloth napkin. “My biggest concern is doing what God would have us do, and I believe it's ending our courtship.”

“It sounds as if Matt's done all he can with his parents. You should not allow them to disrupt your lives like this.”

Setting her spoon in the bowl, Becca licked her lips. “Even though I don't agree with his mamm on most things, I do agree he would be better off with a wife who fits into his society.”

Hester poured water over the dirty dishes in the washbowl to soak. “I don't agree with you. Mrs. Carrington sounds like a selfish and high-minded woman. You pay her no mind and go reunite with your man. God doesn't promise us life will be easy.”

Hester threw her wet rag over the washbowl and wiped her hands on her flowered apron. “Take it as it comes from his mother and deal with each incident. She'll give up in time.” She sank on the chair and clasped her hands across her stomach. “Take a load off and put your feet on this stool next to mine. You love helping others more than you do working as a seamstress. Don't let your skills as a nurse and midwife go to waste.”

“I enjoy working with Ruth, but I had never been happier than when I was treating patients and spending time with Matt. He's everything I could have ever hoped to find in a man for a potential husband.”

A coyote howled. Hester flinched. “I'll never get used to those varmints.” She sighed. “Think about what you want. You better not let him go. He sounds like a rare find. Marry the man.”

A yawn escaped Becca. “You make it sound easy.”

“It can be.” Hands on the edge of the cushion, Hester pushed her body to the edge and rose. “I'll leave you alone about Matt's mother for now. Let's go to bed and get some sleep. I spoke with Irma's husband at the general store today. He told me Irma's been having pains. I need to check on her early in the morning.”

Becca bid Hester good night, changed into a gown, and crawled into bed. Unable to sleep, she stared at the ceiling and pictured Matt's face. Memories danced in her mind. Their first kiss, the way he held her, and working side by side in the office with the man she loved. She buried her face in the pillow and moaned.

The next morning, coffee aroma and the sizzle of eggs in a skillet beckoned her. She chose a simple pink and white Gibson Girl dress and headed to the kitchen.

Grace sat at the kitchen table. “I'm thrilled you're here.” She hugged her friend. “Hester told me you and Matt are no longer courting and why. I'll pray for God's will in your life concerning Matt and you. I'm sorry. I know you love him.”

“I appreciate your prayers. I pray Matt's parents will have a change of heart and accept me. In the meantime, I'm working at Ruth's shop. She suggested I visit Hester and deliver boppli with the two of you. I miss helping people. It will be good for me.” She picked up a mug filled with coffee.

Grace swallowed a bite of egg. “You help Hester with Irma. I'll go along and do what I can. I'm just thrilled to spend time with you.”

“I've missed you, too. I'm anxious to practice my midwifery skills again. I haven't birthed too many boppli since I've worked for Matt.”

Hester cut an egg on her plate. “As soon as we finish with breakfast, we'll head to Irma's. I'm worried about her.”

Thirty minutes later, Hester pushed her plate aside. She checked her bag for supplies. “We better get going.” She threw on her burnoose and hoisted her bag over her shoulder.

Becca wiped her mouth, grabbed her heavy burnoose, and followed Hester and Grace outside.

At Timothy and Irma Lantz's house, a shrill scream rang out. Timothy gestured for them to come in. A look of relief was on his harried face. “I was going to kumme and fetch you, but I was afraid to leave Irma.”

His wife was writhing in pain. Water soaked the bed. “Please get this boppli out of me.”

Hester threw her burnoose over a chair. She examined Irma to assess the infant's progress. “This is Becca Yost. You know Grace already. They are going to help me deliver your baby. Timothy, you can wait in the other room.”

His eyes lit with relief. He didn't hesitate and headed for the door.

Hester winked at her friends.

Becca stifled a chuckle and went to the kitchen. A large pot of water warmed on the iron stove. She wiped her forehead with her sleeve and placed the large pot on the floor next to Hester in the bedroom. After pouring water from the pot into a second bowl, she set it aside. She dipped a cloth in the water and sponged Irma's face to calm her. “Timothy is scared to death and worried sick about you. He must love you a lot.”

Grace handed Hester what she needed.

Irma bit her lip and scrunched her face. “Timothy is a wonderful husband. I am frightened too. I have never had pain like this in my life. It is awful. When this boppli is born, I am not having any more kinner.” Her nose wrinkled. “Here comes another pain.” She yelled at the top of her lungs and held her stomach. Sweat dripped from her face onto her neck.

Crouched at the end of the bed next to Hester, Becca watched the boppli's head crown. The sight was a miracle. Soon, Irma would be holding her boppli. She rose and arranged the second bowl of warm water and towels to wash the newborn.

Irma gripped the bedsheets. “I'm tired. I can't stand this pain.”

Becca rushed to her side and grasped Irma's hand. “It will be all over before you know it.”

Hester wrinkled her nose and peered close. “Becca, come here. I may need you.”

Irma cried out. “The boppli is coming! The boppli is coming!”

The midwife positioned herself on one knee and held her hands out to catch the boppli. “Push, Irma. Push now.”

Irma did, and the infant's head popped out.

Becca marveled as Hester rolled the little one's shoulders and eased the rest of its body free.

The boppli squalled and trembled.

Becca cut the umbilical cord, and Grace tied it off.

Hester finished with Irma, and Grace handed her what she needed.

Becca lifted the boppli girl and placed her on a table next to the bed. She cleaned her tiny body and marveled at the tiny face, hands, and feet. Wisps of black hair stood straight up on the newborn's head. Becca giggled as the newborn's legs kicked and arms stretched as she struggled to clean her. She would never tire of witnessing the miracle of birth. The little one was precious with its small mouth and full cheeks. She swaddled the infant in a blanket and handed her to Irma.

Irma cuddled her dochder. “As horrible as the birth was, the pain was all worth it. I can't believe I'm holding her. Her name is Esther. Nine months was a long time to carry her inside me. She's even more beautiful than I imagined. Timothy must be anxious to see her. Can you ask him to kumme in?”

The door creaked and Timothy peeked inside. She gestured for him to enter.

He sat on the edge of the bed next to Irma.

Irma handed him Esther. “We have a dochder.”

He cradled her in his arms. “She's almost as pretty as her mamm.” He kissed Irma's forehead. “We're parents and on to the next chapter of our lives. Life with you keeps getting better.”

Becca stood by Grace and Hester and watched the new daed. Timothy holding Esther reminded her of Matt when he held sick infants he treated. He told her he never tired of birthing boppli. She guessed he would react much like Timothy when he held his boppli. Her dream to be his wife and the mamm of his children had been shattered thanks to Mrs. Carrington.

“Timothy, would you mind holding Esther in the other room for a few minutes, while Grace and I help Irma change into fresh clothes?”

He kissed his wife on the forehead and left.

Timothy didn't hesitate to leave with the boppli. He appeared rather comfortable with Esther, unlike most daeds she encountered who held their boppli for the first time. Becca bathed Irma and watched as Grace changed the new mamm into a fresh new cotton nightgown. She helped her to a chair, and she and Grace changed the bed linens.

A snap rang through the room when Hester closed her bag. “Irma, send Timothy to fetch me if you need anything. You enjoy your daughter.”

Becca dropped the bloody rags in a flour sack and tied it in a knot. She put on her burnoose, slung the bag over her shoulder, and joined her friend and Hester. They bid the happy couple good-bye and stepped outside.

Out of nowhere, an Amish woman ran toward them flailing her arms and yelling, “Kumme quick. My neighbor has fallen. I don't know her name. I moved here from Lancaster, Pennsylvania, a few days ago. My other neighbor told me to come to you if I was ill or injured.” She gestured toward Hester.

The distressed woman guided them to Becca's parents' house. Becca's pulse rate shot up. She ran inside.

Hester and Grace followed close behind her.

Her daed was pale as he sat on the floor beside her mamm. Hope lit his face. “Becca, I'm surprised you're here. Please help your mamm. She fell. I don't know what to do.”

She knelt next to him. She examined her mamm's head. “I can't find a cut or bleeding, but she is sure to have a goose egg on her head for a few days. I can feel one forming.” She caressed her mamm's face. “Mamm, it's me, Becca.”

Mamm's eyes fluttered. She touched her head. “Is it really you? I fell and hit my head. Everything went black for a moment. I've got an awful headache.” She gripped Becca's arm. “I have missed you.”

Sitting on the floor, Becca covered her mamm's hand with hers. “I'm relieved you're all right. You scared me.”

Joseph reached for his wife's hand. “I found you sprawled on the floor. You wouldn't answer me. You were unconscious. I was afraid you'd had a heart attack or something.”

“I should've been more careful. I climbed on the chair to lift a bowl from the cupboard. I lost my footing. It was an accident.” She touched Becca's cheek. “What brings you here? Is Ruth all right? Is anything wrong?”