Change of Heart (15 page)

“Sean didn't like him.”

“Sean didn't even know him,” Morgan said.

“Sure he did. From a long time ago. And he had a grudge.”

“Billy never said anything to me about Sean,” Morgan said. “If there was some kind of grudge between them, he would have told me.”

“Are you sure about that?” I said. “When was the last time Billy ever held a grudge—against anyone? But Sean...”

Morgan's eyes flashed with anger. “You put her up to this, Robyn.”

“No, she didn't,” Tamara said. “And I'm telling you the truth.” She dug in her purse and pulled out a sheet of paper, which she unfolded on the table in front of her. A photocopy of a newspaper clipping. “I did a little research before I came here.” She pushed the clipping across the table to Morgan, who stared at it suspiciously. When she had finished reading it, she slid the clipping over to me.

Five years ago, Billy and Sean had faced each other at a peewee hockey game. Sean had been twelve at the time and Billy eleven. Each was the highest scorer on his team. According to the article, an altercation broke out at the game. One person was quoted as saying that Sean was too aggressive as a player and that he “attacked” one of Billy's teammates. Someone else was quoted as saying, “Aggressive play is what hockey is all about.” Whether it was an attack or just hockey, Billy went to his teammate's rescue. When he pulled Sean off the other player, Sean tripped—at least, that's what it had looked like to the reporter—and took a bad fall. He had to sit out the rest of the season.

“Billy never mentioned that,” Morgan said.

“Sure he did,” I said. “He said some kid got hurt at a game and it was his fault. He felt terrible about it. He moped around for weeks. Then he stopped playing league hockey.”

“That's why he quit?” This seemed to be news to Morgan, even though she and Billy and I had been close in those days. But Morgan had always been more interested in herself than in anyone else, and, until recently, she had never been tolerant of boy pursuits like hockey.

“Sean never forgot,” Tamara said. “He had to sit out the championships that year. And he and his brothers were super competitive. All they cared about was hockey. If Sean's mom didn't have a rule that he had to keep up his grades to stay in the game, he would probably have spent all his time on the ice instead of just most of it.”

Morgan shifted beside me.

“Sean's brother Kevin barely scraped through school,” Tamara said. “And he had so many injuries on the ice that he can't play anymore. The closest he can get to hockey now is being assistant coach for a junior team. His other brother, Colin, had three serious concussions. He's waiting for clearance to get back on the ice. If he does, he might have a shot—a long shot—at being drafted. But he's no scholar either. He'll be lucky to graduate high school. Sean was the star of the family. He was supposed to get a good education and be the next Gretzky.”

“Except I heard he wasn't going to college after all,” I said.

Tamara's eyes widened in surprise.

“Who told you that?” she said.

“You didn't know?”

“No.”

“You remember you said the thought of waiting four years before going pro was really getting to Sean?”

She nodded.

“Well, Jon told me that he'd been boasting to the team that he was going to play major junior. He thought he might even get drafted. If he did—and Jon seemed to think he would—he was going to tell his mom that he would continue his education later. That's why he was keeping his grades up. He thought that if he could convince his mom that he could get into college whenever he wanted to, she wouldn't mind if he put hockey first for a while.”

“I don't know about that,” Tamara said. “Maybe he could have talked her into it. He sure knew how to manipulate people. But she wouldn't have been happy about it. Sean could be a real jerk, but he cared about his mom. He really did. If you want my opinion, it would have broken her heart.”

Morgan was still staring at the newspaper clipping. “Are you seriously telling me that Sean went out with me so that he could get even with Billy for something that happened five years ago?”

“Sean pointed Billy out to me a bunch of times,” Tamara said. “He told me what happened. He made fun of him all the time—he's an animal lover, he's a vegan, he quit hockey because he couldn't handle it. Sean even shoved him around a couple of times—I saw him do it.”

“Billy never said anything to me,” Morgan said.

“You know Billy,” I said. “It takes a lot to get him riled up.”

“I heard someone say that Billy saw you and Sean together at Sean's house,” Tamara said. “I bet you anything Sean knew he was there. I bet you he put on a real show for him.”

Morgan's face turned pink. I had the feeling that Tamara was right.

Tamara looked across the table at me. “So,” she said, “are we good? Or are you going to tell on me?”

“If I have to say anything, I'll let you know first,” I said. “I promise.”

She eyed me closely, as if trying to decide if she could trust me. Finally, she nodded. Tamara got up and left. I slid out of the booth and took a seat opposite Morgan. She stared at the newspaper clipping for a few moments before looking at me.

“Do you think she's telling the truth?” she said.

“I don't know why she'd lie.”

“Maybe she killed Sean.”

“She has a pretty good alibi, Morgan.”

“And Billy doesn't. If everything she said is true, it gives Billy an even stronger motive to kill Sean.”

I shook my head. “Think about it. Billy quit hockey because he felt responsible for Sean getting hurt. Billy's never intentionally hurt anyone in his life. Yeah, he was at the arena that night. He went there to talk to Sean because he heard Sean boasting about how he was going to score with you. He knew Sean was just using you, and he wanted to ask him to stop. Billy wanted you back, Morgan. And he swears Sean was alive when he left.”

“You really believe him, don't you?” she said. This time she didn't sound angry.

“Of course I do. I know Billy. And so do you. Besides, he has a solid alibi for the hockey helmet incident. He was with Ben. They were at an animal shelter together. Dozens of people saw them. They were there all day.”

“What about Sean's locker? Billy was at school that day when he shouldn't have been.”

“He snuck in to leave that letter in your locker.”

“He could have trashed Sean's locker while he was there. He could have made all those calls to Sean too. And he did attack him. I saw the whole thing.”

“Did you?” I said. “The whole thing?”

“What do you mean?”

“Tell me exactly what you saw.”

She frowned. “Well, Sean and I came out of the school. We were going to get something to eat across the street. We were hurrying because we wanted to make sure we got a booth. Then someone called to Sean. A friend of his—Matt. Sean went back to talk to him for a minute. I didn't pay any attention until I heard Matt tell Sean to look out. That's when I turned around and saw Billy. He looked so angry, like he was ready to ki—he looked like he hated Sean. And the next thing I knew he'd jumped him. I'd never seen Billy do anything like that before.”

“Did you hear anything?”

“Like what?”

“Like what Sean and Matt were talking about?”

“No. Why? What am I supposed to have heard?”

“You weren't supposed to hear anything,” I said. “But according to Billy, Sean said something—about you. And Billy got angry.”

“What did he say?”

“Why don't you ask Matt?”

“Why don't you just tell me what Billy said?”

“Trust me. Ask Matt. Please, Morgan?” I wanted her to hear what had really happened from someone besides Billy and me. I wanted her to believe it.

“Okay,” she said. She sounded uncertain for the first time in a long time. “But what about that pipe the police said was the murder weapon? Billy's fingerprints were on it.”

I told her what Billy had told me.

“Someone could have thrown it into Billy's yard,” I said. “It was public knowledge that Billy and Sean had been in a fight at school. All Billy did was pick it up and put it in his dad's shed.”

“According to Billy.”

“According to Billy.” I stood up. “Talk to Matt. See what he says. Then call me.”

I left her sitting in the restaurant, staring at the newspaper clipping.

I know it sounds crazy, but I decided to spend the weekend at my dad's place even though it wasn't my weekend to be there. Okay, so maybe that doesn't sound crazy. But try this: the reason I wanted to stay at my dad's is that I was hoping I would see Nick. I couldn't help it. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how he acted around me, I couldn't stop thinking about him. My stomach was full of butterflies as I rounded the corner onto my father's street—where I got the surprise of a lifetime.

Ben was standing outside my dad's building, his hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets, his shoulders rounded against the chilly wind that was sweeping the city. He straightened up when he saw me, but he didn't come toward me. Instead, he waited for me to approach him.

I hadn't seen or talked to Ben since I had told him that I was sorry—really sorry—but I couldn't go out with him anymore. He hadn't been particularly surprised by my announcement—he knew how I felt about Nick—but he still seemed to be crushed. He'd asked me if I was sure. I said yes. He asked me if I wanted some time to think it over. I had to say, no, I already had. I said, again, that I was sorry. I had never broken up with anyone before. It was a lot harder than I expected. And here he was again.

He looked terrific.

Ben is tall and athletic. He was wearing faded jeans and a well-worn jacket. That was one of the things I liked about Ben. He was casual even though he could afford to be flashy. His dad was extremely wealthy. Ben lived in one of the most exclusive neighborhoods in the city and went to the most exclusive private school.

“Hey, Robyn,” he said.

“Hi, Ben.” I'd forgotten how green and piercing his eyes were. He was looking at me intently, as if he were trying to memorize me for a test.

“I went to see Billy,” he said. “I also went to the police and told them where Billy was the day that guy Sean had the accident on the ice. I don't know if it will help, but I figured it was the least I could do.”

Good old Ben. He always did the right thing. He was so responsible and reliable. That was why I had been attracted to him in the first place—because he was the exact opposite of Nick. It had taken me a while to realize that the exact opposite wasn't what I wanted.

“Billy said you'd been to see him a couple of times. I think it means a lot to him, Robyn.”

I bristled at that. He made it sound as if he were Billy's best friend, as if he knew Billy better than I did.

He stepped closer to me. “I can't stop thinking about you, Robyn. I miss you.”

“Ben, I—”

The door to my dad's building opened, and out came one large black dog followed by one tall young man dressed from head to toe in black.

Nick looked at me first, and for a moment I thought he was going to smile. Then Orion growled, and Nick's eyes shifted to Ben. The two of them stared at each other, and I knew they were both thinking the same thing: What is he doing here? Nick's expression hardened. He pushed by us.

Ben watched him disappear around a corner before he turned to me and said, “Are you seeing him again?”

“He lives here,” I said.

“So that's it, then,” he said stiffly.

“Ben, I'm sorry—”

“Right.” He looked at me for a moment longer, as if there was something else he wanted to say. But in the end, he wheeled around and walked away without a word.

I stood there on the pavement, feeling bad for hurting him again and feeling worse remembering the expression on Nick's face. I wondered where he had been heading. I wondered if I should try to find him, maybe try to explain. I wondered what he would say if I did. If it would make any difference.

My cell phone rang. It was Morgan.

“He called me a puck bunny!” She was yelling so loudly that I had to hold the phone away from my ear. “Matt didn't want to tell me. I think he was embarrassed.”

“He should have been.”

“Puck bunny!” Morgan said again, still yelling. I hoped she wasn't using her phone outside. People who scream into their cell phones out on the street always look crazy. “You know what else Sean said? He said that puck bunnies will do whatever a hockey star like him wants. Can you believe it? That's what he thought of me, Robyn. He thought all he had to do was crook his little finger and I'd do whatever he wanted.”

I thought about the way Morgan used to melt every time Billy put his arm around her.