Change of Heart 05 - Forging the Future (12 page)

“I do,” Yusuke chimed in, looking over the top of the seat back at us.

I felt so humbled and blessed to be so loved.

“We’ve been together all our lives, Jin,” Crane assured me, “and whatever you and Logan have to do, wherever you have to go, Yusuke and I and our girls will follow. Never doubt that.”

“Wait,” I said quickly because his words had sunk in. “Where are Logan and I going?”

“Well, that’s the question, isn’t it? Logan’s been ducking Domin for a while now, but just lately I realized that he was doing it for you, not for him. Whatever Logan and Domin have cooking, it’s something you didn’t want, but I think Logan does.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, I do,” he sighed. “And I’m glad.”

“Why?”

“You have to understand. I love Logan, and more than that, he’s my semel, and I’d follow him to hell if he wanted.”

“Yes, go on.”

“But my first responsibility is to you. You’re like my brother,” he said, his gaze dark. “But you’re also my reah, and keeping you safe is the prime directive, if you will, of my station.”

“Of course.”

“So because of that, I had to tell Domin Thorne that Ilia was a danger to himself and the tribe if he remained in Nevada.”

“It was you,” I breathed, shocked, but also unsure as to how I should feel. It was easy to see that Crane loved me and wanted the best for me and Logan and our son, so whatever he’d done had to have been correct. But I knew Logan was in the dark about who was reporting to Domin, and if that was Crane, then he’d gone behind Logan’s back and—

“Calm down,” my beset insisted, patting my knee. “Take a breath, everything’s okay.”

He could read me like a book. It was a bit disconcerting. “Can you read my mind?”

“Your face,” he acknowledged. “Now stop worrying.”

“But what will Logan do to you?”

“I don’t know, but it’ll be all right.”

“How can it be?”

“It just will.”

That was ridiculous. “How can you be so cavalier about this?”

“Because normally you would,” he said with a smirk.

“I—you don’t understand. Logan’s been trying to figure out who’s been talking to the akhen-aten.”

“I know he has.”

“I should tell him it was you,” I said, my voice shaking, scared of what would happen. “But I’m afraid for you.”

Crane shook his head. “Don’t be. He’ll know it was me when Domin arrives anyway, even if you don’t tell him.”

“How?”

“Domin’s not a real subtle guy.” Crane snickered.

“What will—”

“I don’t know. I hope Logan’ll understand, and I think he will because really, my heart was in the right place. I talked to Domin to keep you safe, him safe, and Ilia safe, I had to. Look what almost happened.”

“What,” I pressed him. “Please, Crane. Please tell me what happened.”

He shook his head. “I can’t, and it’s killing me not to, but the doctor said if we told you, you might not ever remember it on your own.”

“Who did you even talk to about this?” I snarled. “How did you all know I lost my memory if you didn’t even know where I was until two days ago?”

His eyes locked on mine. “Logan went through every possible scenario, and the best one was that when you ran, something broke inside, and the trauma and everything else caused you to lose your memory.”

“That makes no—”

“We all knew it was the
only
thing that would keep you from coming home.”

I had no argument, because home sounded like heaven, and the thought of being there made me shiver with anticipation.

“Listen to me. Ilia is the sweetest, cutest, kindest little boy you could ever hope to meet, but he’s absolutely a ticking time bomb up on that mountain.”

“How can that be?”

“Just trust me when I tell you he is.”

“But how can I, when you won’t tell me what happened?”

“Because you always trust me, Jin. It’s how we work.”

I felt gutted. “Whatever happened, though, didn’t I contain it the last time?”

“Yeah, but at what cost?” he posed. “It’s not worth the risk when there’s an alternative.”

“Which is what?”

He grimaced. “That I don’t know because I’m not Logan or Domin. Like I said, I think they have something figured out, but I, for one, have no clue what that is.”

“Do you think the akhen-aten is on his way to our home?”

He nodded slowly. “I do.”

“For what purpose?”

“To talk Logan into going to Egypt,” he answered.

“Egypt?”

“To Sobek, yeah,” he told me. “Domin’s wanted Logan with him there since the beginning. It’s why he made Logan one of the seven laws who make up his council.”

“Really?”

“Oh yes,” he insisted. “Logan does better with you around, Domin does better with Logan.”

This was news. “Were Logan and Domin together before Logan and me?”

“No. There were no men before Logan met you. He told you that, didn’t he?”

He had, but I’d forgotten in the heat of the conversation. “Yeah.”

“He and Domin just have this thing where they count on each other more than on other people. It probably comes from starting off as friends, becoming enemies, and then discovering that nothing had really ever changed. They’re like you and me—they read each other’s minds.”

“That’s nice,” I said, my voice thick as I thought about my mate. “I’m glad they have that kind of relationship.”

“Me too,” he echoed.

After a moment I realized he was scrutinizing my face.

“What?”

He shook his head. “Nothing. It’s just weird.”

“What is?”

“You, like this.”

“Like what?”

He shrugged. “You’re normally so sure of yourself. You never listen to any of us, and you do what you think is best. This hesitancy, the second-guessing, the questions, is just so alien.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah. You don’t even sound like yourself.”

“People must hate me.”

“Some, yes, but not all.”

“Is the tribe frightened of Ilia now?”

He thought a moment. “I think so, and it’s getting worse. They used to love their semel and felt blessed to have a reah, but with you gone, and Logan being cold and distant, a lot of them are unhappy. Many of them also feel that you’ve created this monster in Ilia that only you can control.”

“Logan’s been thinking about that, I can tell.”

“He’s planning on making a change, I know that.”

“How?”

“Well, you have to remember that during all of this, Logan is dealing with Ilia and his changes and basically pulling further and further away from the day-to-day running of the tribe while fending off Domin all at the same time.”

“He’s tired,” I surmised.

“I think so. He’s been semel for over twenty years, and he’s not just some normal semel, right? He’s had to deal with you being kidnapped and going to Sobek and fighting in the pit and then fighting to be semel-aten, and then every day there are demands on him, decisions, challenges. His tribe is big, more than two hundred, and plus, he’s the only semel-netjer in the world.”

“I’ve been a burden on him.”

“Oh fuck no,” he snapped. “You’ve been a blessing. And can I just say, when you get your memory back, I’m gonna remind you that you just said that.”

“Why?”

“Because when you’re you, you never talk like that. This isn’t you.”

“What am I like?”

“Kinda cocky, smart, and mostly utterly sure of your place in Logan Church’s life,” he summarized. “You’re you, you’re Jin.”

“You don’t know everything,” I said without thinking.

He snickered loudly.

“What?”

“I don’t know?” He arched an eyebrow for me. “What is it that you think you’ve kept from your beset, my reah?”

“There are private things between me and my semel.”

He scoffed and leaned into me, the back of his shoulder resting on my chest. “I know all your fears and worries, but you don’t need to be saddled with all that right now, before you know what’s real and what’s crap.”

“I have no idea what that means.”

“Let’s just say you have a way of making something that should be nothing into something insurmountable. It’s your special gift.”

“What?”

“Drama,” he said, trying really hard not to laugh. “You create a fuckton of it.”

“I beg your pardon?”

His laughter erupted, and even stifling it, leaning over and coming undone in the airplane pillow didn’t help. People were looking, and Yusuke turned around in her chair and scowled at him.

“It’s a wonder I don’t have you beaten,” I announced indignantly.

“No,” his wife intoned, “you normally do that yourself.”

As I watched Crane turn red in an effort not to simply howl, I was struck by the normalcy of the whole thing: two friends simply talking. “I want to remember more of him,” I told Yusuke. “I want to know you all so desperately.”

“Well, I’m certain that you being home, around people you know and love, will bring back your memory.”

I could only hope she was right.

Chapter 8

T
HE
RIDE
from the airport in Reno, Nevada, to Incline Village, where we lived, was beautiful in the fall. Lake Tahoe was amazing at dusk, and the drive up the mountain, with Logan pointing out where our land began, was like a dream.

Guards stood on both sides of the wrought-iron gates, and when the car reached them, they opened in. We began down the drive toward a house I saw in the distance. I sat in the very back of the enormous black SUV with Logan, Artem, and Andrian in front of us, Crane driving, and Yusuke riding shotgun. When we arrived in front of the house, I was surprised by the sheer number of cars, and immediately, I felt the tension in my mate.

“What’s wrong?”

“There’s too many people here,” he informed me as he got on his phone. “Something’s wrong.” I wanted to ask what he thought was happening, but he lifted his hand to stop me and then spoke. “It’s me.”

I tried to hear who was on the other end.

“I’ve been fighting, but I’m done. I need you here because I’m not sure what the challenge will be, and Jin can’t help me, and I won’t put the others in danger.”

It pained me to hear that.

“No, he can’t access his power without his memory, and I’m alone except for Crane and Yusuke, Artem, and Andrian. I’m sure Delphine and Markel and Ivan are with me as well, but—oh.” Logan’s smile was bittersweet. “That’s how you’re going to play it? You don’t think that’s a little dirty?”

I was dying to know who was on the phone.

“Tell me who it was,” Logan ordered and then listened. “Well, now, if you explain it like that, it makes sense, and we both know I’m ready. I don’t have all the concerns that Jin does—or did. I’m not proud.”

He was listening again.

“Fine, proud is not the word I want. I’m not prideful, I’m pragmatic. Do you prefer that?”

Again, he was quiet for a moment.

Carding his fingers through his thick hair, he grunted. “Yeah, so you win. You think I’m some big prize, get here and claim me.”

I did
not
like hearing that. No one claimed him but me.

“Oh, I didn’t offer you any—you’re a perv, you know that? Don’t let anyone tell you different.” He grumbled, but there was a trace of a smile on his face and in his voice, so I was thankful to whomever was on the other end of the phone for the small respite. “Just hurry up, all right? I’m worried about what this is going to turn into, in the meantime,” Logan said and then hung up.

“Who was that?” I pried.

“That was Domin Thorne,” he said tiredly.

“Oh, what the fuck,” Crane grumbled, slowing as several men blocked the car.

“Listen to me, all of you. Do whatever anyone asks,” Logan commanded everyone in the car. “Artem, you have your mother and brother to think about. Crane, Yusuke, your daughters; Andrian, your mate and son. No one gets involved with whatever this is about. I’ll handle it.”

All the doors were suddenly opened, and we were all asked to get out. When I followed Logan from the SUV, the men moved back—everyone did—including the crowd that was gathered and those carrying rifles.

It took a moment for me to realize that they were all scared of me. Me taking a step forward caused them all to almost turn and run. It would have been funny if I wasn’t so scared for my mate and the others.

A tall blond man who resembled Logan stood on the long porch of the huge three-story house, and when he gestured for us, the men with the guns strode forward, which moved our small company along. We stopped at the base of the steps, and Logan looked up at him.

“This is a surprise.”

The man cleared his throat. “Father reached out to me, and I realized it was finally time to accept my birthright.”

“You have no birthright,” Logan said implacably. “You’re third-born, Russ. Koren comes before you.”

Russ lifted his hand, though, and another man who looked a lot like both Logan and him moved in close. Easy to surmise who I was looking at.

“I secede my position as heir to Russ,” Koren replied, “and act as his second in his bid to become semel of the tribe of Mafdet.”

It was heresy, and even I knew that much. An older man came out of the house and joined the other two on the porch.