Change For Me (Werewolf Romance) (The Alpha's Kiss) (11 page)

My whole body shook, almost vibrating with the tension, the strain and... that feeling both Damon and Devin gave me. That ache, the damned, sweet ache. On the one hand, I wanted nothing more than to bury it forever and forget I ever felt it, but at the same time I
needed
to give in to it; give myself up to that wild, exotic danger.

“Li... ly...”

It took a couple of seconds to register that I might have killed someone with all the adrenaline coursing through me, but as soon as that relief came over me, I breathlessly watched that crazy son of a bitch roll over, pull his bloody knees up and climb to his feet. Before my eyes, the scrapes and cuts shimmered and vanished.

This whole wild man act seemed to fit Devin perfectly. Hard and brazen and fierce, it was almost like watching an extension of Devin’s normal personality. Damon, though, looked so scared when he was fighting with himself, trying to keep away from me, on the road. Devin just gave in to the rage and the lust. That tiny difference – that Damon fought his inner beast, that’s all the difference I needed.

“Lily... whew!” Devin shook his head then fixed his gaze on me. I couldn’t tear my eyes away. His muscles flexing in the sun were just so raw and gorgeous that no matter how badly I wanted to kick Betty into reverse and give running him over another try, it wasn’t happening. “Lily! Why’d you do that? All I want to do is help you. You know that.”

Slowly, he made his way to the car. His movements had a jerky, stop-motion look to them, presumably from just being bashed against a tree and smacking his head on concrete. About halfway to the car, he stopped and took ahold of his left wrist. Devin jerked it right then left, both times it made the most disgusting popping-snapping-crunching noise.

“Ah there we go, so much better.” He kicked his leg out in front, popping his hip back into place, and resumed his trek. “Feel like a new man, or, well,” a grin crossed his face.

The entire time he was walking back to the car, he didn’t once take his eyes off mine. I was frozen. With him staring at me, I couldn’t move, couldn’t think.

“Now,” he said as soon as he got within spitting distance of the car, “unlock the door, and let’s get back to what we were doing. Did you get your little tantrum out of your system?”

Venom dripped off his lips. He had such seething contempt for me packed into every word he said that it reminded me of the way people talk to a girl they don’t really think is good enough for them, but they tolerate because she’s good in bed.

I just stared straight ahead.

Unmoving, unblinking, unthinking; there was nothing I could do. My mind was his slave.

“Do you like that idea?” He smiled again. God I wanted him to stop.

But then again, no I didn’t.

“You do, hmm? You changed your mind quick.”

Unconsciously, my hand slid along the rubber on the bottom of the window and I flicked the lock on my door closed.
It was open this whole time?

When the latch made that audible, unmistakable click, Devin squinted. “What are you doing?” he sounded a little tired. My tiny, meaningless act of unconscious defiance opened a crack that let through a little light.  If I was going to get away, it had to be right then, when his control started to slip.

“Open the door.” The menace was back, and so was the flaring anger in Devin’s eyes. No more charm, no more easy convincing. He knew what he wanted, and he wasn’t stopping.

Shaking my head, I grabbed the wheel tight. My hands trembled, but it didn’t matter.

“Open,” he growled, “the door.”

One last glance is all I allowed myself as I pressed the gas pedal and Betty first jolted and then groaned. He had a look on his face of utter confusion, like it was beyond him that I didn’t do exactly what he said.

‘Flooring it’ in a nearly thirty-year old Bronco is a lot less impressive than it sounds, but the old boat did an admirable job of making noise and belching smoke everywhere.

“You’ll regret this!” He shouted, standing in the middle of the road, like a pissed off teenager who got told that he wasn’t going to get a car for his sweet sixteen. “This is the last mistake you’ll make, Lily! You’re mine! You were promised to me, you’ll keep me from... from...”

He dropped to his knees, clawing at his face. From the stop sign at the end of Crest Street, I watched all of it unfold, probably two hundred feet from where he was carrying on. I couldn’t tell exactly but it looked like he was bleeding. Again.

“You think you’re getting away,” he screamed. “You’re not! Neither is Damon! I’ll maul that Skarachee pup! You go running to him. Go running, Lily, I’ll follow you to the end of the world if I have to.”

I punched the gas again. I’d heard enough. The insanity, the wild look in Devin’s face took away every shred of beauty I ever though I saw. When he was out of options, he relied on pure unadulterated rage.

Nothing could possibly be less attractive.

Damon, oh God I need you so bad, but where are you?

I pulled over to the side of the road when I was far enough from Cat’s house that I was sure Devin wasn’t following. Sticking my fists in my eyes, I rubbed hard enough to see stars. “Enough,” I said out loud, to steel my own resolve. “Damon. Where is he?”

Damon’s parents lived halfway between my house and Cat’s, a few streets over from a straight shot. They left late last year on some kind of cross-country RV trip, but he stayed in the house. I didn’t expect to see his bike, but even so, when I drove past, my heart sank at the empty driveway.

Eight minutes later, I turned up the road leading to my house. Nine minutes later, I went past our little place, wishing for nothing more than to be in there with my grandpa and Damon, playing cards or something that normal people did during normal times.

Twelve minutes after that, I turned off my car in the middle of the forest, right where the trees got too thick to keep driving. Three miles away, lay a cave.

A cave that was the last place I could turn. If he wasn’t there, then I was lost.

I swallowed hard as my foot hit the ground.

––––––––

“I
s that you?” A tiny voice bounced off the walls of Damon’s cave as I squinted into the thick, oppressive darkness at a small orange light far, far from the entrance. “Pup, is that you? Come back for to visit?”

“No,” I swallowed hard trying to calm my trembling lips. “I’m sorry, I’m—”

When next he spoke, the voice was more cheerful than he had been. “Oh! So it’s the other one I’ve been searching far and wide for, is it? Come this way. Let the fire be your guide.”

“Who are you?” I asked.

No answer. Again I called out into the dark and again was met with silence.

“Great,” I said under my breath.
This is just great. I’m chasing a boy into a cave. I don’t have time for this, I have a story to write, and I’ve got a career to make.
A shiver crept through me. The deeper into the cave I went, the wetter, cooler and heavier the air around me became. 

The stoic tightness I had all through the ordeal with Devin and his girlfriend, driving back and forth to figure out where Damon was, and then finally giving up and going to this cave as a last gasp exploded the instant the cold darkness enveloped me and light from outside no longer reached where I stood.

Werewolves and magic and soul mates, it was all a bunch of bullshit that didn’t make the first bit of sense, but here I was spelunking into some cave with what I guessed was an ancient old man at the back of it talking me to him.

But the stupidest thing of all is that I didn’t care about any of that stuff. The complete unreality of what I was going through didn’t matter one bit. Finding Damon, that’s all that occupied my mind. I shook myself and clutched my elbows, hugging my chest to keep warm.

The fire grew bigger, and for a moment it occurred to me that I had no idea how it kept going back here.
Of all the things to think about, this is what I spend my brain power on.
I shrugged and smiled for the first time in a couple of days, at my own strangeness. Even in these absolutely bizarre circumstances, there’s something to be said for being at least a little comfortable in your own skin.

Of course, when you walk into a cave hoping to find your werewolf quasi-boyfriend and end up staring down at a little man who looks a little like an Incan mummy wrapped up in a Navajo blanket, even being comfortable with yourself is very little consolation.

“She comes,” he said. I swear his mouth didn’t move.

“I’m sorry, what?” I looked down at him and cocked my head, not really sure how to address the ancient bundle. Was I supposed to squat down and look at him or was that rude?

There was a vague hint of a smile on his paper-thin lips.

“Please, child, sit. We wait.”

That time I
knew
his mouth didn’t move.

With a certain amount of trepidation, though I don’t really know what I was afraid of, except for “everything,” I sat cross-legged beside the strange little man and stared into his fire. Shapes danced, like will happen when you stare at a fire, but I saw things that were too clear to be coincidental.

Faces – Damon, my grandfather, Devin and Cat – appeared and moved, speaking with soundless lips. It wasn’t like watching a movie or anything, but the shapes of the flames showed me who they were supposed to be.

The shape I knew was Damon slouched over, moving very slowly toward some unknown destination. The other I could tell was Grandpa Joe by the darker bit of flame moving near his mouth which reminded me of his pipe. It looked like he was saying something to me, but it’s not like fires can talk. Of course, it’s not like werewolves exist either.

Still, the way Damon’s fire shape was hunched over made me think he was in pain, or confused or something.

“Is he hurting?” I asked my silent companion, as I looked in his direction.

His eyes were closed, but rapidly moving back and forth beneath the lids. Sitting beside him, the fire’s light bouncing off face made him look almost tan, like he was covered in ancient leather. A shiver crept through me, even with the intense heat emanating from the fire.

“What?” He snapped.

“I asked—”

The old man snaked a hand out of his blankets to shush me. His fingers were so thin, skin so transparent, that it gave me the illusion of seeing through to his bones. “You said...? What? My old ears cannot hear as well anymore, they,” his lips moved, though the sounds he made fell silent for a moment.

Back and forth he looked, as though he was hearing voices from some unseen sources.

Is he talking to spirits? Of course this couldn’t just stop with werewolves and an ancient mummy-man. Of course there had to be ghosts.

A definite cold sensation crept down my back, which I knew was supposed to be a sign that there were spirits floating around. In a perverse way, that didn’t surprise me much. I guess out of everything else that I’d been forced to believe, spirits weren’t much of a stretch.

“Oh,” the old man said softly. “Yes, all right.”

I looked back at him, studying the shadows bouncing on his cheeks. He turned to face me, but his eyes remained closed. Something told me I should be glad for that.

“He’s coming, eventually,” he said. “Your mate, I mean.”

“Okay, stop right there. I seem to be everyone’s mate or soul-bond or whatever you want to call it, but no one has bothered to explain to me how all this happened. I’m getting a little—”

He raised his hand again, and turned away, nodding at an unseen voice. “You are confused, they tell me. I can sense it as well.”

“Well yeah I’m confused,” I said when he paused long enough for me to think it was my turn.

But he continued a moment later, ignoring what I said. “We are all connected. You and I, the spirits in this chamber, my friend Joe, Damon, and even the others, who I believe you have met?”

“Joe... Grandpa? How do you know him? And what are you, some kind of psychic?”

“No, no,” he smiled and chuckled inwardly. “I only listen, I’m not a prophet. As for Joe, we’ve known each other for a time. A rather long time, actually.”

I felt like getting up and leaving. Something deep inside my chest – or maybe it was inside my soul – felt like it was being torn apart just sitting here, being shredded into nothingness.

“I want Damon,” is all I said, and very weakly at that. “I need to feel him. He,” I paused, aware that I was trembling from head to toe, but clenching my muscles to avoid looking weak. “He makes me feel safe.”

“Mhm,” the old man said. “I’m Poko. Joe has never mentioned me? We met many years ago. I consider him a close friend, though I’ve not seen him in... thirty? Forty turns of the sun? It gets hard to remember when your entire world is the inside of a cave. I’m too weak to change now. My next transformation will be my last, but I can’t do that until I’m sure my pup is ready for the responsibility.”

I pinched myself, because of all the stuff I woke up not believing, but bought into by lunch, this old man knowing my grandpa was too much. I did it again, a little harder, and made myself squeal.

The old man – Poko – laughed. “I am afraid this is no dream. You have now seen a part of reality that very few people have bothered to look upon. And those who have very often deny it. Our very existence goes against the things that are true and real, but there you are. Or here, I suppose, we are. Very real, I think you’ve found.”

A cold, dry, laugh shook the man’s shoulders.

“How old,” I began, but stopped myself.

“Am I? Oh, that’s a good question. After long enough, you stop thinking in those sorts of terms. I am as old as my pack requires. I wait for the next one to come, who will take my place and lead the Skarachee.”

“Pack? There’s a pack of...”

Across his lips, a quizzical grin spread from cheek to cheek. “More than one.”

My eyes narrowed. “You can’t be serious.”

“You’ve met the pride of the second. A rough figure, from what I’ve seen, though his name escapes me at present. That is his way though, the Carak are a wilder people than mine. Closer to their animal nature, you understand?”