Chance of the Heart (22 page)

His heart would just hurt for a while.

He followed his folks into the main house, silently going down the hall and into the big office he’d used more often than his father over the last couple years. Of course, his daddy sat behind the desk, showing who he intended to be boss in this situation.

“What’s up?” He tried for nonchalant but knew he’d probably failed. His mother sat on the couch on the far side of the room, closer to his father at the desk.

“Have a seat, boy,” his father said. “I think you know what your Mama heard and what we need to talk about here.”

Chance clenched his teeth. He hated when his daddy called him boy. He usually only did it to show he was Big Daddy around here. But today didn’t seem the time or place.

“I’m just fine right here. If y’all are gonna go talkin’ about how disappointed you are or trying to throw me out, I’d just as soon find out while I’m by the door and save us all a lot of breath.”

Hot damn. He never thought he’d have the balls, but he was his own man. He was out. He had been so happy over the last six months, when he’d just let go and he couldn’t— wouldn’t— accept crumbs of happiness any more. How could he when he knew what having it all felt like.

There was a weight coming off with that realization in that moment. He didn’t just feel freer. He felt
free
.

His mother looked startled and his father stared at him hard. “I don’t think it has to come to all that now, boy.”

“I’m not a boy.”

His father blinked at that and he knew he’d made his point when his father nodded and let a sadness creep into his eyes.

“Daddy, Mama, I’m not gonna change. This wasn’t an easy road for me, and I don’t suspect it’ll be any easier just because it’s all out in the open, but now that you know, you have to know I’m happy.”

His mama’s eyes filled with tears. That wasn’t easy to see. She wasn’t your typically emotional mother. You fell, she said get up and walk it off. He didn’t imagine a softer woman could’ve dealt with his daddy for so long, so it made sense. That’s why most people assumed he was so quiet himself. But he just had so much in his head and had been taught there was no time for feelings and questions when there was work to be done. And until recently he hadn’t realized how much that’d crippled his friendships with other people. Turned out, sharing did a world of good, even if it wasn’t always pleasant.

“Well now we know where we stand…” his daddy rumbled. He leaned forward in his desk. “I wished we’d known so many things. I’m an old man, now. You took care of this place and your mama when I was sick, no questions asked, I imagine ‘cause that’s how you were raised.”

His parents shared a look before his mother picked up the rest of the conversation. “We can’t say we’re not surprised. But we can’t imagine how hard this was on you. Caitlin was real honest with us before she left last night about how tough this has been for both of you.”

He scowled at the thought Caitlin had talked to his parents about all this, but better they talk to Caitlin than call the Reverend. Just the thought of it gave him the chills.

His mama nodded at his daddy who spoke with a surprisingly tender voice. “We just want you to be happy, son. I almost lost my life with this stroke. We could have lost the ranch. But you worked the land and made it prosper even when I was in rehab. You’re a good son. We’d never have wished this on you, but if you’re happy we can’t say much more than we love you and we’re sorry we were too damned hard on you growing up. Especially if you thought it was a choice between bein’ happy and having us in your life.” His daddy choked up and Chance almost went to his knees. Never, ever in his life had he seen his daddy anywhere near tears. “We failed you if you thought we’d ever not love you.”

Chance was reeling, stood blinking back tears and failing to keep them in.

“Oh, sweetie,” his mama said, as she stood from the couch and came to hug him fiercely. He almost lost it completely and wasn’t afraid to say he did cry on his mama’s shoulder for a second before she stood back, kissing his cheeks saying how much she loved him.

“We got one last bit of business here, though,” his daddy said, clearing his throat and looking at his wife and son with too-bright eyes. Chance’s own eyes were itchy and tired now.

“We are disappointed you don’t want the ranch. Bradley said something about a restaurant?”

“Yessir. I, um, bought a place and was considering running it on the side.”

“With Bradley’s help?” The idea definitely seemed to make both his parents squirm a bit but he gave them points for trying.

“We, um, had a bit of a falling out last night. We’ve got some talkin’ to do.”

“I’ll just be damned,” his daddy said, shaking his head. “Two of the finest barrel racers in the damn county…” Chance rankled at the surprise but he supposed his parents were taking enough in stride he could give them a little leeway.

“Wait,” his mama said, giving him a hard look. “Was that why he was gone so long? Why he stopped coming around?”

“Yes ma’am, his daddy didn’t take to it so well.”

“Damn old fool. You’d think after Marla left him he’d try not to run off his children.” His mother’s defensiveness made Chance smile. He kissed her cheek.

“I didn’t know people knew about that.”

His daddy laughed. “Please. We all knew. A man’s got pride, though. He’s a damn good preacher. Guess he’s not that good a man though, treating his kin that way.”

“You’re surprised?” his mama asked drily.

“No,” Chance and his dad said in unison. Chance’s phone vibrated in his pocket. He checked and noticed it was Bradley. He didn’t have it in him to have two emotional conversations in one hour though. He had things he needed to say to Bradley, was still upset Bradley had so little faith. Where could they go from that?

“You need to get that?” his mama asked, obviously having seen it was Bradley. “You said y’all needed to talk.”

Chance shook his head. “No. No, not yet. I gotta finish in the breeding paddock, figure out what words need to be said. Then we can talk.”

His daddy stood from the chair unsteadily and came to lay a hand on Chance’s shoulder. “I think we’ve all learned not to leave things unsaid for too long, right?”

“Yessir.”

“Good.” His daddy turned to his mama and took her arm. “I think it’s time for ‘The Price is Right’.” His mama huffed, a few choice words being mumbled under her breath about his daddy’s choice of television programming.

“Oh, and Chance, we’ll figure out something about the ranch, okay?” his daddy said.

“Thank you Daddy. I mean it. But don’t rush. I won’t even be able to open for months and I have to come up with some stuff for the investors.”

“Anything we can help with, let us know.” With another pat on the shoulder they left Chance alone. When the door to the office shut behind him, he fell against it like his legs just couldn’t hold him up anymore. And he let himself be overwhelmed and thankful and cry for just a moment. It felt real good to just
feel
.

After a moment collecting himself, Chance went out to the breeding paddock to help David. When David looked up from where he was scrubbing a water trough he asked, “So was that about…” Chance nodded.

“Just y’all splitting up? Or… everything?”

Chance sighed all put-upon like. “Yes you nosey thing, everything.”

“And?”

Chance just smiled and put his work gloves on. When he picked up a brush to help, David said, simply, “Good. That’s real good.” And side by side, they got on with it.

Bradley walked up to the front of his cottage. Well, his father’s cottage that he’d be leaving soon. He stopped short when he saw his sister’s catering van in the drive.
This is why you don’t ignore nosey women’s phone calls, Heart.

“About time you showed up,” his sister said, startling him. He’d just had his hand on the doorknob assuming she was inside, missing that she was sitting on the porch swing.

“You’re observant this morning,” she teased, walking over and handing him a takeout coffee from the little coffee shop on Main Street.

“Thank you,” he said, meaning it.

“You’re welcome.” She waited until after he’d taken a sip then she punched him in the arm that wasn’t holding the coffee. “I was worried sick, you jerk. You quit on daddy, he calls me going off, and you can’t answer your phone for two days.”

Had it really been two days? Of course he should have known that. A whole day and night since Chance had answered his calls.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been doing some thinking.” He opened the door to the cottage and walked in, pleased at the blast of cool air. Didn’t matter it was barely noon, the temperatures soared into the upper eighties. It was gonna be a hot one.

“Were you out at Shelly’s grave?”

He nodded. “It’s the first time.”

“Really?” She sounded honestly surprised.

He hadn’t been there since he’d been back. He’d felt so ashamed for so long that he hadn’t come back sooner, had left her before she got sick and hadn’t visited. She’d died probably only having been ridden by one of the stable boys, missing him. She’d been too good a horse to have deserved that.

Heather smiled sadly at him. “She knew you loved her. Really, she wasn’t old enough to get that sick. It was a surprise to everyone.”

“Yeah,” he mumbled. Didn’t make it any better. But he did feel less burdened having visited her, and apologizing. If he’d cried a little, no one needed to know. He’d told her about school and work. He’d also told her about Chance. No one knew how he’d felt about Chance, even back then, like Shelly had.

“So what’s going on? Not that I’m not proud of you. I’m shocked it took you this long to tell the old man what was what. I actually laughed when Miss Sandra told me what you said to him.”

Bradley collapsed on the couch, groaning miserably. “Oh God, Miss Sandra heard?”

“Honey, everybody heard. Not everyone is pleased of course, but Miss Sandra and Rhonda apparently had a bet going to see how long it’d take you to tell either the Reverend or that uppity bitch Debby where to shove it.”

He had to join her in laughing. He needed to laugh. Badly. But his laughter was silenced when Heather put a hand on his cheek and made him look at her. She was smiling fondly at him. God, he was lucky to have her. They’d always had each other’s back. Even being older than him and raised in the church, she hadn’t batted an eye when he’d come out at sixteen. She’d been his protector when their dad had been cold and unforgiving, even before he’d come out. Not even their mother had done that before she ran off when he was twelve.

“You were always way to strong willed to hold all that in. You took his coldness for months and didn’t speak your mind. You were respectful when he hadn’t earned it. So this, this was good. You purged it.”

Damn, she was right. After that day he’d honestly felt a million times better. Fuck the old man and the white horse he rode in on.

“So why don’t you look like it was good?” she asked, pointedly.

He sighed. “I fucked up.”

“Yeah your inheritance is gone for sure.”

He snorted. “No fuckin’ doubt. But I mean with Chance.”

“Oh no. How’d you do that? He sounded fine on the phone earlier.”

“Oh? You talked to him?”

She leaned back on the couch and drank from her coffee before answering. “Of course. We’re doing a catering event. We’re meeting up tonight to go over that menu and some management possibilities to appease the investors. He said he’d talked to you about it.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. And I doubt he’d want me now. I, uh, kind of outed him.”

She sat up and almost spat out a mouthful of coffee. “You what?” So he told her about the events of two nights ago and she sat stonily through it.

“Well when you make a mess, you make a good one, don’t you.” Statement, not a question. He scowled at her. She waved him off. “Oh don’t look at me like that. Then again you always did act dumb when you got anxious.”

“I do not.”

“Please. You’re such a cocksure son of a bitch until you get anxious or insecure. It’s the damnedest thing. Not that you didn’t have good reason or anything. After what Rodney did Chance should have understood a little. But there really isn’t a whole lot of excuse, you being…” She trailed off when she noticed he was averting his eyes.

“Dumbass. You didn’t tell him.”

“What was the point?” he snapped. “It’s not like we were going to last. He was closeted and had a fucking fake girlfriend. He made it clear he didn’t want to come out. I wasn’t going to just hang around this hell hole waiting for him to figure it out.”

“Jesus, babe.” She shook her head. “Well have you talked to him since?”

“He’s not answering my calls. I think…” He sighed, hating to admit it. “I think that he needs space. And I forced his hand, no matter that it was accidentally. No point sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I’ve got shit to do. And so does he. Maybe one day…”

“What does that mean?” Her gaze wandered over his face.

“I’m taking that job in Abernathy. Gonna move back there for a year on that contract. I’m thinking time and distance is best. And when he’s comfortable enough, he can call.”

“I think he came to you last time.”

“Hey, whose side are you on?”

“Always yours,” she said, annoyed. “That you’d even ask… But I think you’re being an idiot just leaving.”

“No. I think while he was being steady and trying to prove he was in this I was pushing against it, not believing it. He deserves to not have to explain himself to me a thousand times.”

“I’ve never known you to run away from a challenge, no matter what the Reverend says. But if you think this is the answer, I’ll leave you be.” She didn’t look convinced. Which shook his confidence in his decision.

She couldn’t be right could she? He couldn’t force himself on Chance, especially if Chance didn’t want to talk to him. And Abernathy wasn’t that far away, so if Chance wanted to give them another try it wouldn’t be that hard, barely even a long distance relationship. Assuming he hadn’t fucked it up completely.

“Well I have to go,” she said, patting his knee. “Think on it a little longer, though. You know you have a place at my house if nothing else. You know now how much unfinished business can get under your skin.”

After a kiss on the cheek he walked her out and waved as she backed out of the drive.

She’d made sense with that unfinished business comment. He’d left things unfinished with Chance the first time he left town and when they’d run into each other it took two minutes before they’d fallen into bed together. He’d never felt like anything was unfinished when he’d broken up with anyone else. Even Carson dumping him had been more relief than anything.

He’d stood up to his father, stitching up that wound but opening a new one. If he left and let it fester he’d be right back in this place. Twenty-five years old was too old to still be run by the past.

Thinking on it he’d realized that no one had taught him that like Chance. Chance had fears and hurts and was scared, but he’d faced up to them and just been happy with Bradley. They’d been
happy
. He didn’t know how things were going with the man after he’d outed him like that but Heather said he’d sounded okay. How very Chance. Well, how very
new
Chance. He’d seen Chance blossom into a new man; the one he should always have been, in the last few months.

If he’d just had faith in the man he loved. Chance had figured things out for himself fast, just asked for patience. Because he hadn’t been equipped with all of the facts, he hadn’t realized how insecure Bradley was.

Perhaps it was time to work on his constant need to be Toppy Bradley Heart. Chance hadn’t expected the façade, the golden boy that all his other exes had wanted. Chance wanted Bradley. And damn… He’d kept on trying to control his emotions to the point he’d snapped. Maybe it was time to make up for that.

Hopefully it wasn’t a lesson learned too late.

Chance had been staring at the screen to his laptop for twenty minutes when Heather startled him out of his work. “Shit!” he said, jumping to look at her. She cackled like a hyena.

“Good lord, girl. You trying to kill me?”

She batted her lashes. “Me?” Then she shook her head. “No, not til after the event this weekend anyways.”

“You’re a real sweetheart,” he drawled. “What do you think of this guy?” he asked, pointing at the resume he’d been looking at. She leaned over his shoulder, reading so intently the paintbrush in her hand started dripping on Chance’s arm. After they’d gotten their menus together as much as they could for the day, she’d offered to help with some painting in the restaurant. All that was left now was putting in tables. They’d even done a little cooking in the new kitchen. They were still a long ways off from being ready to open but he felt himself growing excited.

If only Bradley was there to help. He felt bad for not returning the man’s calls yet but he’d been so busy and… He just didn’t know what to say yet. He wasn’t so much mad any more, just sad that Bradley didn’t seem to trust him.

He elbowed Heather by the time the third cold glop of eggshell colored paint dripped on his forearm. She jumped back. “
Oolf
. What was that for?” She rubbed where he’d gotten her in the ribs.

“You’re dripping.” He picked up a paper towel and cleaned off the paint.

“The thanks I get for mentoring you and helping you paint my competition.” He rolled his eyes, getting a
tsk tsk tsk
from her. “Spending too much time with my brother. Him and his eye rolling.”