Chance Encounters (7 page)

She debated momentarily between the two questions ever-present in her mind. How much could one kiss really hurt? And could one kiss change her whole life?

Her breath suddenly felt shallow and her knees trembled. “Me too. So bad.” She looked toward the ground. “But we can’t. I’d never be able to live with myself, or the guilt.”

“I know,” Jackson agreed. “Why is this so hard?”

Caroline snickered in relief. “I don’t know! But it’s not normal right? I mean, you don’t feel this way about strangers you meet all the time, do you?”

“You know I don’t,” Jackson insisted.

“So what does it mean?” she asked.

He shrugged his shoulders. “I guess time will tell. You’d better go, babe…your meeting,” he reminded her.

“Shit. Well. Keep in touch? God, that’s so stupid. This is so stupid,” she complained and whined and felt like a jumbled girly mess.

“You’d better go before I refuse to let you.”

She recognized the painful longing in Jackson’s eyes and knew that her eyes held the same look. The realization that this beautiful, rare thing between two strangers simply had to be let go. She walked away as he stood in the doorway of the café and watched. It was less painful this time, but took more strength.

There she goes again…walking out of my life for the second time this week
, Jackson mumbled under his breath.

Her phone beeped and she looked down at the text message notification.
“There has never been a more perfect lunch, or date. Thank you for today.”

She clutched the phone and pressed it against her heart, before typing out a quick response. “
You’re the perfect one. Thank you for everything. Have a good flight and text me when you land so I know you’re safe. xoxo
.”

Chapter Six

Caroline was curled up on the couch eating takeout when her phone rang. She saw that it was Clay and felt the slightest hint of disappointment. She quickly fought the emotion and answered cheerfully, “Hey, babe.”

“Hey! I’m leaving the office soon and I just wanted to know if you needed me to grab some dinner?” Caroline usually waited to eat when he got home, but had picked up food on her walk home from the office, her head lost in other thoughts.

“Shoot. I’m already eating. I’m sorry,” she said with a guilty conscience.

“No big deal,” Clay responded, his voice a little cold.

Caroline noted his tone. “I’m really sorry. I just wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s okay,” his tone lightened. “You’ve been a little
off
since Johnny died. I understand. I’ll see you in about a half an hour, okay?”

“’K. See you soon.”

When he finally walked through the door carrying a takeout bag from the Chinese restaurant down the street, he took one look at his girlfriend and smiled at her. “What are you smiling at?” she asked saucily.

“My smoking hot girlfriend,” he said as he sauntered toward her. He leaned his head down and kissed her passionately, almost falling onto the couch that held her.

When she closed her eyes to kiss her boyfriend of almost two years, all she could see in the darkness of her mind was Jackson’s face. No matter how much she tried to concentrate on Clay’s kiss, Jackson’s image wouldn’t fade.

Clay finally stopped kissing her before he looked in her eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she responded automatically, but completely freaked on the inside. Why did she see Jackson’s face when she kissed her boyfriend? What kind of girl does that?

“Are you okay?” Clay’s head cocked to one side.

Caroline laughed. “I’m fine. Sorry, just lost in thought for a minute.”

“What are you thinking about?”

Caroline knew she couldn’t tell him the truth. For the first time she could remember, she intentionally lied to Clay. “Nothing. Just work stuff.” She desperately wanted to change the subject. “How about you? How was work today?”

She was thankful when Clay took the bait and went on a detailed description about his day. He talked while he ate and she listened intently, while she fought to keep thoughts of Jackson out of her head.

When Clay finished, he threw out his trash and settled in next to her on the couch. It had been a while since he was home early enough to spend time with her, so he promised they could watch whatever
she
wanted on television.

“You’ll be sorry,” she laughed as she flipped through the channels to find her favorite show.

“Probably,” he admitted, “but I don’t care.”

She laid her head on his stomach and he wrapped his arms around her. Her phone beeped and she shot up to grab it. It was a text message from Jackson.
“Home safe. Flight wasn’t the same without you on it. I miss you.”
Her heart felt like it beat a million miles a minute.

“Who’s that?” Clay asked nonchalantly as he glanced up toward the clock.

Clay’s question slammed Caroline back into the real world; for the second time that night, she lied to her boyfriend. “Oh, it’s just Bailey.”

“Tell her I said
hi
,” Clay responded.

Caroline swallowed hard and tried to regain her composure. “
Glad you’re safe. I miss you, too
.” Caroline needed Jackson to know she couldn’t talk to him any further, so she added “
Goodnight
” and pressed
Send
.

After a few minutes passed with no response, Caroline leaned back into the comfort of Clay’s arms and lost herself in the television show. Clay ran his fingers through her long hair and kissed the top of her head from time to time. She never moved, pretending to be invested in whatever showed on the screen.

Clay’s phone rang and he gently nudged Caroline off of him before taking the call in the spare bedroom of their apartment. It was also their makeshift office and before long he poked his head around the bedroom door and said, “Care, I’ve got to do some work. I’m really sorry.”

She turned toward him and smiled. “Don’t be sorry; it’s okay.”

“You’re not upset?” Clay asked, his expression softening.

“Of course not.” She shook her head and smiled. “Your work never upsets me.”

“Thanks, hon.”

The office door closed and Caroline quickly opened up her cell phone to read the text messages from Jackson again. Then she read them one more time. She wanted to text Jackson just to get a response, but turned her phone off instead to curb the temptation.

She wondered how she could feel this way for someone she had just met? She had everything she ever wanted with Clay, so why was she consumed in all things Jackson? She desperately tried to make sense of her feelings. She longed for logic to take over and get her out of this mess, but her emotions wouldn’t have any of it. Her heart refused to let Jackson go and she knew she was in for a world of trouble.

****

The next few days were a blur. The only way Caroline could stop thinking about Jackson was to dive completely into her work projects. She stayed late. She got there early. She threw herself into every meeting they would allow.

Her hard work didn’t go unnoticed and before long, her internship turned into a promoted staff position. When she got the news she tried to call Clay, but he didn’t answer. Caroline hated to leave voicemails, so she hung up. She desperately wanted to tell someone so, without thinking, she dialed Jackson’s number.

“Hey, you,” Jackson said as he answered.

“I got hired as staff!” Caroline shouted into the phone.

Jackson laughed at her enthusiasm. “Congratulations, babe! That’s great!”

“I know! I’m so psyched. I just had to tell you.”

“Well, I’m glad you did. Can I call you later?”

Caroline realized that Jackson was in the middle of handling some business and although he didn’t want to blow her off, he really needed to go. She smiled at how considerate he was of her feelings.

“I’ll call you! Talk to you later,” she conceded.

“Okay. Hey, Caroline?” Jackson asked.

“Yeah?”

His voice radiated affection. “I’m proud of you.”

Caroline bit her bottom lip with excitement. “Thanks, Jackson. Call you later.”

She found more happiness in his reaction than she could have imagined. She realized there would be no getting him out of her head now.

Still beaming from her promotion, Caroline walked through her apartment door that evening and yelled out Clay’s name. When only silence greeted her, she took a quick shower, changed into her pajamas, and then snuggled into the couch.

When her cell phone rang she answered it absently. “Hello?”

“Hey, babe. Just calling to let you know I’ll be pretty late tonight. Probably won’t be home before midnight. You okay?”

“I’m fine. Go back to work,” Caroline assured him.

“I love you.”

Caroline smiled. “I love you, too.”

Once she ended the call with Clay, she calculated the time difference in her head and thought for a second that it was probably too late. It was after eleven p.m. there, but she dialed his number anyway. The phone didn’t even ring twice before she heard Jackson’s thick, deep, slightly accented voice. “Caroline,” he said and chills coursed through her body.

“Hi,” she said, half nervous, half confident. Her body wouldn’t stop shaking.

“So, how was the rest of your day?” Jackson asked through a crackled reception.

“Amazing! How was yours?”

“Not amazing,” he joked. “Hey, are you alone?”

Caroline laughed. “No, my boyfriend’s sitting right here.”

“Funny. No really, are you at home?” he asked seriously.

Caroline answered, “Yeah, I’m home. Why?”

“Just wondering how you can call me if you’re home. Are you hiding in a closet? You are, huh?”

She laughed out loud. “No! I’m in the bathroom!”

“You are, aren’t you?” Jackson teased.

“No!” she continued to laugh, “Clay’s at work. He’s gone most nights until pretty late.”

“Ahhhh. That’s got to suck.”

“I don’t mind. I like my alone time,” Caroline confided.

“Well, I don’t mind that he’s gone either.”

Caroline heard his voice cut out toward the end. “Jackson? Jackson?” She pulled the phone away from her ear and held it in front of her. The screen read, “
Call Disconnected
.”

Before she could redial his number, she got a text message that said,
“Sorry. We get spotty service in our apartment sometimes. Call my home phone
.” He included the number and she smiled as she dialed.

“Hello?” A male voice that was clearly not Jackson’s answered.

She was caught off guard. “Um, hi! Is Jackson there?” she asked politely, unsure of who was on the other end of the line.

“Depends. Who’s this?” the voice asked with attitude.

“Caroline,” she informed with equal attitude.

The voice on the other end of the line laughed heartily. “Oh, Caroline! The one from California?” he asked, dragging out the name of her state.

Caroline got excited that whomever she talked to knew who she was. “That would be me.”

She heard Jackson and another voice yell in the background, but she couldn’t make out what they said. The voice on the phone remarked, “He’s not here,” and the voices in the background got even louder.

“Oh really?” she asked playfully. “Then why can I hear him yelling in the background?”

“Maybe you’re hearing things.”

Caroline was confused. Was this guy just playing around with her, or did he intend to be mean? Before she could say anything more the voice said, “You know—Caroline from California—maybe you should be calling your
boyfriend
instead of my friend,” and she heard the phone click.

Caroline’s jaw dropped in shock as all air ceased to exist within her.

****

“What the hell, man?” Jackson yelled at his roommate.

“You’re such a dick,” Alex added.