Champagne Toast (9 page)

“
You have no idea, do you?  You have no idea how into you I really am.  I
’
m in way too deep
. . .
there
’
s no way I
’
m walking out that door.  I
’
m not going
anywhere
, Kate.  But, I hope to God you don
’
t do that to us.  You with another guy?  That would kill me,
”
he says, his brow furrowed and frustrated.  Now he is the one who
’
s exposed. He
’
s the one who
’
s
laying his heart on the line.
It
’
s comforting and daunting all at the same time.

“
I think it would kill me, too,
”
I admit.
“
Ev, I
. . . ” My words fail
and tears begin to well in my eyes.  I
’
m so pissed at myself, I can hardly stand it.  I hate crying in front of anyone, let alone the man I
’
m quickly falling for.  I don
’
t want him to see my tears.

“
We all have our demons. I have mine, too.  And one night, it
’
ll be my turn to tell you all about them.
”

“
Promise?
”
I ask, a tinge of hope in my voice.

“
I promise.  Let
’
s get some rest.  I know that was really hard for you.  I get it.  But, that
’
s enough skeletons for tonight.  Just know I
’
m not going anywhere, okay?
”

“
Okay,
”
I reply as I lie down next to Evan.  He wraps his arms around me and sighs into my neck.
A lone tear rolls down my cheek as I clutch his hands with all my might.

He
’
s not leaving me. 
Thank God.

Evan

February 23, 2008

“
Hey man, what
’
s up?
”
I ask, wiping down the bar as Patrick takes a seat on a stool.

“
I need a
beer, maybe something stronger.”
Patrick
’
s voice is gruff and he looks distracted.

“
Shit, this sounds serious.  What
’
s going on, Patrick?
”

“
I don
’
t know.  I can
’
t explain it.  I
’
m anxious as hell.
”

“
A girl?
”
I ask, raising an eyebrow.

“
Yeah, I think so,
”
Patrick replies, running his frustrated fingers through his hair.

“
All right, what
’
s going on?  Who is she?
”

“
My lab partner for Bio.  She
’
s driving me crazy.  She smells like coconut and the beach.  How does she
do
that?  It
’
s the middle of winter
,
and she smells like she just got off a surfboard.
”

“
You like her,
”
I observe, smiling.  I
’
ve known Patrick for two years and although he meets girls all the time, especially at the parties he throws at our apartment, I haven
’
t seen him like this before.  He
’
s frustrated
and has an intensity about him
.  This must be serious.

“
Whatever, she
’s . . .
ugh!
Okay, yeah. I like her.  But, she
’
s driving me
insane
,” h
e says, gulping down his beer.

“
Ask her out,
”
I suggest, wondering why he hasn
’
t done it already.

“
Not that simple,
”
Patrick says
,
shaking his head. I wonder if this girl has a boyfriend like Kate did a few months ago.
I still don
’
t feel right about how it all went down, but I
’
ve told myself I can
’
t have any regrets; not when it comes to Kate.  I furrow my brow and Patrick knows what I
’
m thinking.
“
No, she doesn
’
t have a boyfriend or anything, dude.
”

“
Then what exactly is the problem?
”
I ask, totally confused.

“
She
’
s nothing like me, and I mean
nothing
.  It
’
s freaking the shit out of me.  She
’
s super s
mart—”

“
You
’
re a fucking genius, Patrick,
”
I point out,
“
don
’
t even say she
’
s too smart for you.
”

“Yo
u didn
’
t let me finish, man.  She
’
s super smart, but she
’
s really outgoing and in some sorority where all the girls are really fucking intimidating.  I
’
m terrified to ask her out.
”

“
Terrified?  Wow.  Okay, let
’
s break this down.  Does she flirt with you?
”

“
I think so,
”
Patrick says, his eyes seem to be in a daze.
“
But, the thing is, if I do ask her out and she says no, then I have to sit with her for the rest of the semester, and it
’
s only February.  I can
’
t deal with that until May.  I
’
ll end up dropping the class and my father will kill me.
”

Just then, my gorgeous girlfriend approaches us, carrying a tray full of empty glasses.

“
What
’
s going on, boys?
”
she asks with an expectant look on her face.  Her beautifully sculpted eyebrows draw me in as she pushes her bangs from her eyes and tightens her ponytail.  Even after months of being with her almost every day, simple movements like this still put me under a spell.  Kate knows this, she likes it, even seems to relish it.  She notices my staring and raises her eyebrows playfully to snap me out of it.  I chuckle to myself, shaking my head.  God, I
’
m in deep.

“
Patrick
’
s got it bad for his lab partner, but she
’
s intimidating and he
’
s not sure what to do.
”

“
Wow, sounds serious,
”
Kate says sarcastically.

“
It is, Kate, don
’
t give me shit,
”
Patrick says, hanging his head.

Kate grimaces and sits down next to Patrick, putting her arm around his shoulder.
“
All right, who is this girl?
”
she asks, giving him her full attention.

“
Her name
’
s Chloe.  Damn it, even her
name
drives me insane.  This sucks, you guys.  It sucks
,”
Patrick exclaims before drowning his sorrows in more beer.

“
Here
’
s the thing, Patrick.  When you feel like this, you have to take a risk.  Look at Evan and me.  Being around him was like torture when he first worked here.  I wanted to be with him so badly, but I was scared.  And I think Evan was, too?
”
Kate asks, looking up at me.  I smile and nod.  She looks relieved before focusing back on Patrick.
“
If you think you have even the slightest chance with this girl, you have to go for it.  No regrets, my friend,
”
Kate says. 

I
’
ve come to know that
“
No Regrets
”
is Kate
’
s motto for everyone else, though not always for herself.  She doesn
’
t seem to apply that to her own life, to her photography.  She
’
s opened up more and more the longer we
’
ve been together
,
and I
’
ve seen so much of her work.  An idea crosses my mind and my wheels start spinning.  I need to help Kate see that this motto should apply to her as well.  She
’
s talented and it
’
s time to show the world.  But, I
’
ll have to think more about that later.  Patrick needs help right now.

“
What do you have to lose?
”
I ask Patrick. 
“
So, if she says no, you laugh it off like you always do and go back to being lab partners.  But, if she says yes, then the possibilities are endless.  Do it, man!
”

“
You
’
re right, you guys.  I
’
m being such a dipshit.  I
’
m gonna call her,
”
he says, pushing away from the bar and quickly removing money from his wallet.  He places a few dollars on the bar to pay for his beer, looking excited.

“
Right now?
”
I ask.

“
Yep.
I don
’
t wanna wait.  I sure as hell am not going to ask her in class.  I
’
ll see you guys later.  Thanks!
”
  Patrick pulls his coat on, wraps his thick wool scarf around his neck and walks out into the harsh Illinois winter air.

“
Liquid courage?
”
Kate smirks.

“
Oh yeah, I was refilling his beer when he wasn
’
t looking.  He never noticed.
”

“Great idea . . .
if
she says yes,
”
Kate observes.

“
She will.  I have faith in my boy
.” 
I laugh, placing Patrick
’
s money in the cash register.  As always, he tipped me way too much.

“
You men are such simple creatures,
”
Kate teases. 
“
Boost your egos a bit and you
’
re good to go, ready to take on the world.
”

“
Is that so?
”
I ask, pretending to slam the register shut.  Kate laughs at my dramatics as she leans over the bar, placing her hands on her elbows and gazing into my eyes.  I walk towards her and steal a kiss, hoping Vince won
’
t see.  He allows work relationships, but he doesn
’t exact
ly condone them. 

“
Listen,
”
I say,
“
I
’
m gonna take off a little early today.  Do you think you and Vince can handle the crowd?  I have a couple of errands to run.
”

“
Sure, that
’
s fine,
”
Kate says, suspicion in her eyes.
“
See you at my place later on?
”

“
Of course,
”
I say, leaning in for one last kiss before heading to the backroom to grab my things.  I need to get to the camera shop before it closes.

***

Two hours later, I arrive at Kate
’
s apartment.  Her hair is down and music is playing softly in the background.  Candles are lit throughout, giving her place a warm glow.  Kate has a thing for candles. She loves them, can
’
t get enough of them.  Half the time, when I arrive at her place she
’
s got them burning.  Cracks me up.  Just another reason why I adore my girlfriend.