Chained (30 page)

He sighed, but turned around with a smile. “I’m going to make some phone calls. I suggest you go upstairs to our room and wait for me. I doubt you’re done.”

I looked for any signs of annoyance. “Does that bother you?”

Zac closed the distance between us and cupped my chin with his fingers. “Baby, if you think it does, you obviously don’t know me by now.” He moved away with a smile.

“I don’t know you at all,” I whispered.

Zac stopped and I thought I had really pissed him off. A new feeling washed over me. It was like fear and desire all rolled into one. My god, won’t it ever stop?!

Without turning around, he said, “You know all you need to know about me, Livy. Now, get upstairs. I’ll be up as quickly as I can.” He walked out of the kitchen.

Once he was out of sight, an overwhelming loss came over me. What was it that made me want him so much? I hated him, yet I couldn’t stand to be without him. Surely he didn’t want me like this. Surely no man would want a clingy woman. It didn’t make any sense to me.

Deciding to think about something else, I looked around and saw the mess I had created on the floor. I bent to pick it up.

“Leave that. Someone will clean it up.”

I looked up at Ian, feeling the flames hit my cheeks. I clasped my open top closed to hide my modesty as much as possible.

“I made the mess. I should clean it.” I started to bend down again, but Ian grabbed my hand. I looked over at his smiling face.

“It’s okay, Livy. That’s why we have people working here who do this sort of thing. It’s their job to clean up. Not yours.”

I felt my anger boil up. I couldn’t even do something as simple as picking up the broken pieces of a plate scattered across the floor. The broken plate that was my fault because I couldn’t keep my hormones under control.

I felt the tears brimming again, but I was determined not to cry. This morning, I cried, mourning the loss of Kit, the loss of a real relationship. Now, I had to be strong. I had to accept this as my fate and move on. Zac was my destiny now.

Feeling the little hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention at the thought of Zac, I decided to make a move. I didn’t say anything more to Ian. Instead, I walked past him and out the door. As I moved to the staircase, I spotted Maria outside, talking to one of the men. Her hand was lovingly stroking his arm as if in comfort.

I moved up one step and she looked at me, a knowing smile on her face. Her eyes landed on my ripped blouse and her smile widened as she winked at me.

I didn’t want to stand around anymore. Being alone in my room sounded like a pretty good idea right about now. I was used to being shut off from the world and it amazed me how quickly I had entered into it again.

As I got near to the top of the stairs, I could hear whispers. “Did you hear her screaming? Fuck. I nearly came in my pants myself. She sounds like a wildcat.”

My eyes closed, knowing who they were talking about. I really didn’t want to go further. I could just turn back and wander around the house. Looking down, I knew that wasn’t possible. I needed to change.

Sighing, I climbed up to the top of the stairs. I heard another man say, “Craig said she has the most amazing tits he’s ever–”

I came into view when he said this. There were three of them, all with smiles on their faces. Smiles which were quickly wiped off once they saw me.

One of them cleared his throat and nodded. “Miss.”

I nodded back and quickly turned toward my room. I heard whispering, then laughter as I opened the door and slammed it behind me.

I didn’t want to be there. I wanted to be as far away as possible. Thinking quickly, I rummaged through the wardrobe and came across a bikini. I knew there was a pool because I remember swimming in it when I was little. I loved that day. It was one of my very few fond memories.

Deciding I needed a break, I got undressed and put the red bikini on. It left little to the imagination, but I didn’t care. I was pissed at everyone, pissed at my life and, most of all, pissed at Zac for making me crave him again.

I grabbed a towel and marched into the hallway. Those three men were still there and snapped their mouths shut when they saw me emerge. In fact, I think their eyes bulged out of their heads a little.

Ignoring them, I made my way down the stairs, a hundred sets of eyes watching my every move. I could see their hesitation. I could tell they didn’t know whether or not to stop me. They obviously hadn’t been given instructions about what to do if I did this sort of thing. I bet Zac never thought I would go against him.

I was about to go out into the sunshine when the biggest man I had ever seen blocked my path. “You’re not allowed out there, miss.”

So they had been given
some
instructions about me. “Why not?”

“Boss wants you in the house.”

I placed my hand on my hip. “And your boss’ name is…?” I motioned with my hand for him to continue, but I was met with silence. I started laughing. “You don’t know what it is, do you? You have no clue.” I moved to get past him, but he blocked me again. “I want to go for a swim.”

He shook his head. “I can’t let you outside.”

I huffed, wondering what the hell to do next. Suddenly, I had a stroke of genius. “If you
don’t
let me outside, I’ll tell your boss you were touching my breast.”

He looked down at my chest and back up again. “I haven’t touched you.”

Grabbing his hand, I placed it on my left breast and started to scream Zac’s name when his other hand went over my mouth.

“Please don’t say anything.”

I smiled, but noticed he still had his hand firmly on my breast. I looked at him, but it didn’t register…until I looked down at my breast again.

He immediately snatched his hand away and I took that as my opportunity to step around him. “Thank you,” I sang, walking towards the pool.

It was actually a beautiful day. I was wondering whether it would be hot enough to get in the water, but the thought of feeling the cold was welcome to me. I needed it after letting my hormones run wild. In fact, the colder the water, the better.

I threw my towel on the lounge chair and dived in. My breath immediately caught. As I surfaced, I took a few gasps, letting the cold sink deep within me.

I had to start swimming so my body could get used to the temperature. I started with the breast stroke, then moved onto the front crawl. I did twenty of each before I calmed a little and felt the water become warmer around me. Once satisfied, I pulled my legs up and floated on the surface. I felt the sun hit my skin, the only sound filling the air was the birds singing overhead. I found peace in times like this. Peace I knew wouldn’t last long.

“Who the fuck let her out here? Stop looking at her. Turn around, you fuckers!”

I had to bite my lip to stop the laughter. I knew laughing at Zac wasn’t a good idea, but I couldn’t help it.

“This is not funny, Livy. You were supposed to be upstairs. You disobeyed my orders.”

I looked up at my lord and master. He was mad, but instead of feeling fear, it did something quite the opposite.

I swam to the ladder and pulled myself up. I heard Zac growl as I appeared at the top. My nipples were instantly erect and waiting, just like he wanted them to be.

For a moment, he stared at them, but then clarity must have hit him because he raced to grab my towel. I looked around and saw three men with their backs turned to me. I couldn’t help but giggle.

Zac’s thunderous look wasn’t lost on me. He was angry. It was a look that used to send my skin prickling, but my skin had other ideas right now.

Without a word, Zac wrapped me with a towel and picked me up, throwing me over his shoulder. I squealed as he walked briskly back towards the house.

I watched in horror as all the men smiled when we passed them. Zac quickly took the stairs and opened the bedroom door with a thud. He gently set me down, then took a couple steps back.

“I was going to spend the whole afternoon and evening with you, Livy, but after that stunt, you can sit in here alone. I won’t be in to see you until tomorrow morning. This is your punishment, Livy. This is your fault.”

I started to object, but he was out the door and locking it behind him faster than I could utter a word.

I sank down on the bed with a sigh. I was his prisoner now. I wanted him so badly and he knew it. He was making me pay the only way he knew how.

By taking away my drug of choice.

Chapter 20

I lay on the bed, bored out of my mind. Eventually, I fell asleep. When I woke, my mouth was dry and my stomach cried out for food. I had nothing to keep me company. No TV. No paper to doodle or draw on. No books to read. The only saving grace was a small radio I found buried underneath some clothes in one of the drawers.

I had been listening to it for the last hour. Listening to song after song. The one I was listening to now was quite apt in my situation. It was called “You Ruin Me” by the Veronicas.

Zac had ruined me. As long as he was in my life, I knew he would ruin me.

So I lay there, staring at the ceiling, letting the words of the song roll around in my head. Once it had finished, I wondered what suitable song would describe mine and Kit’s relationship.

It was funny how Kit suddenly became a distant memory. I was taken only yesterday, yet it felt like it had been months.

It wasn’t normal. I knew that much. I was in love with Kit.

I am in love with Kit.

When I think it now, the overwhelming pain doesn’t drown me under its never-ending torrent. It was almost as if my head knew it as fact, but my heart didn’t bleed about it like it did yesterday. I should feel something, anything, but no emotion surfaced. It was like I had become numb again, but I hadn’t needed alcohol as my crutch this time. In fact, I wasn’t craving it at all. I had replaced one craving with another.

And there I was, as pathetic as any person could be, waiting and yearning for her master. I knew I was crazy, but I ignored the little voice inside my head. It was like I had this switch, and Zac just flicked his finger over it.

I hated it

I loved it.

I wasn’t sure how much longer I lay there before I heard the door unlock. As soon as it opened, I shot up, eager to see him, disappointed when I saw it was Ian. I liked Ian, but my body craved Zac. It only wanted Zac.

This was how desperate I had become.

“I brought you some food.” He smiled timidly at me, walking in with a tray of pasta and cheese. Also on the tray was a glass of something fizzy.

Wasting no time, I scooted over, picked up the glass and downed it. I was so thirsty.

When I looked back at Ian, he didn’t look too happy. “When was the last time you ate or drank anything?”

I stared back at him. As if he didn’t know… “Since I was in the kitchen with you. You know that.”

Ian cursed under his breath, picked up the glass, and walked towards the door. “I’m getting you another. Be back in a couple minutes.”

With Ian out of the room, I set to work on eating the pasta. It was just as nice as the eggs this morning. Whoever this chef was, he was good. He knew just the right amount of flavouring to put on the eggs, the right amount of cheese to put on the pasta.

I was already into my seventh mouthful by the time Ian came back up with the drink. He handed it to me and I nodded my thanks. I was too busy chewing to say anything.

Once I’d finished my next mouthful, I was full enough to talk. “Where is he?”

Ian looked at me strangely. “You shouldn’t care.”

I sipped on my drink. “I think you know that he’s well and truly taken care of that. You were the one who took me, Ian. Remember?”

He winced, but didn’t say anything in return. Instead, he looked conflicted again. It was almost as if something was on the tip of his tongue, but he didn’t want to let it out.

“I didn’t realise who you were until late last night.”

I shrugged. “Does that make a difference?”

Ian sighed. “I suppose not, but that doesn’t make me feel any better. I doubt your father would be happy about this if he were alive.”

I laughed sarcastically. “Yeah, my precious daddy. The one who promised me to your boss in the first place. I’m sure he’d be so mad right now.”

Ian looked pained. I’d seen that look before. It was the look of sympathy. “Don’t look at me like that. I don’t need your sympathy. I don’t need anybody’s sympathy.”

He shook his head. “I’m not looking at you like that. I feel disappointed for you. Angry for you. You shouldn’t have been born into a family like that.”

I laughed again. “I guess I got the luck of the draw the day I was picked for the Caudwell’s, ha? It was considered an honour to be a part of our family. Strange how people never see what lies beneath the surface.”

Ian shook his head and I watched him for a moment as I ate. “How about your parents, Ian? Did you come from a loveless family?”

Ian leaned on the bed a little like he was settling in. “No, I can’t say that. I think I had a pretty normal upbringing really. I can’t complain.”

“Do you mind me asking how old you are?” He looked pretty young, but I was guessing.

“I’m twenty-seven.”

I took my last bite of the pasta and set the plate down on the tray. “I’m assuming you were Special Forces?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I did a tour in Iraq. Saw some heavy shit. I think you’ll find most of the guys here have been in the Forces at some point.”

I sighed. “Yeah, all but one.”

“You met him?”

I nodded. “He tried to bomb me and my family.”

Ian’s eyes widened. “Holy shit. I think I read something about that in the newspaper. You had to go into hiding because of a rogue soldier.”

I pulled myself further up on the bed and shrugged. “It’s in the past now, Ian. I just want to leave it there.”

Ian’s face turned a little pale. “Of course it is. I don’t blame you.”

Just as he said this, Rhianna’s “Disturbia” came on the radio. I looked at Ian and he looked at me, then we both burst out laughing. I was definitely going crazy.

Once we calmed down, Ian glanced at me with a serious expression. “Are you going to be okay?”

I smiled. “No, but I’m going to get by. I’m used to getting by. I have all my life.”

Ian got up and picked up my tray. “No one should settle for that.”

I leaned my head back on the headboard and stared at the ceiling again. “What other choice do I have?”

Ian didn’t answer and I didn’t expect him to. Instead, he picked up everything and walked out the door. I didn’t hear him lock it, but I think he knew I wasn’t going anywhere. I was conditioned not to.

Hours seemed to fly by and the numbness came with it. When I got bored again, sleep seemed to find me quickly.

I was alone in the darkness, my mind in a pit of black. I liked it there. I didn’t have to think or feel anymore. Sleep was my friend. Sleep gave me a reprieve.

I wasn’t sure what time it was, but I felt a dip in my bed, then a hand trailing down my arm. He kissed my shoulder and I could feel his hot breath on my skin. “Livy, I’m so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”

He turned me over so I was facing him. My smile grew wide and my belly danced at the sight of him hovering over me. There was never anything to forgive. He made sure of that.

“I can’t stay mad at you for long. Knowing you were up here on your own tore me apart. I snapped. You’re like a drug to me, Livy. A drug I can’t get enough of.”

He leaned down, kissing me lightly on the lips. The fires raged war inside me again, wanting to let go.

Zac felt through the fabric of my negligee and found that my nipples were rock hard. He pinched one, making me arch my back for more. I
needed
more.

“Do you want me to make love to you, Livy? Do you want me to make you scream?”

I nodded. Of course I did. He was pressing that button again and he knew it.

Zac hovered over me, trailing light kisses along my neck. He pulled up my negligee and cupped his hand over my pussy. “Mine,” he growled, starting a slow dance on my clit. “Tell me you love me, Livy, and I’ll give you what you want.”

I was panting now, already close. I obviously still had some of this drug running through my veins and it was nowhere near ready to let me rest.

He stopped rubbing my clit, and I groaned in displeasure. He started pulling the strings on my negligee, exposing my breasts. He took one nipple into his mouth, stroking the other with his fingers. I moaned again, wishing it was my clit. I had to have him inside me again.

“Livy, I need to hear you say the words. I want to make sweet love to my woman, but I can’t if you don’t say the words. Give me the words I want to hear.”

I gripped my eyes shut, an all-out war going on in my head. Of course, my body would win. It would always win when Zac was around.

“I love you,” I said breathlessly, but couldn’t help the tear that rolled down my cheek. I felt numb, so why was I crying? I shouldn’t have tears because I felt nothing, except the overwhelming urge to have Zac inside me.

And just like that, he kissed me. And just like that, I was rewarded for being such a good girl.

I was a good girl. I had always been a good girl.

Zac made sure of it.