Authors: Cassandra Clare
Because Belial is his grandfather. Because when the Enclave finds that out, who knows what they will think. Because people can be foolish and cruel.
“They will,” Alastair said, sounding utterly confident. “The truth is the truth. It will always come out.”
She craned her head back to look up at him. “How do you know the antidote works?”
Alastair grinned in the dark. “I have faith in Thomas.”
“You
do
?” said Cordelia. “I didn't think you even knew him that well.”
Alastair hesitated. “I watched him make it,” he said finally. They had reached the Carstairs carriage now, with its design of castle towers on the door. Many more carriages lined the curb beside it. “Because he had such faith in Christopher, he had faith in himself. I never quite thought of friendship like thatâas something that makes you more than you are.”
“But, Alastairâ”
“No more questions,” said Alastair, placing Cordelia inside the carriage and swinging himself up after her. He smiled, that rare charming smile of his that was all the better for its rarity. “You were very brave, Layla, but you need healing, too. Time to go home.”
Cordelia often felt alone when
it was just her and her parents, but never as much as when Alastair went away to the Academy. While he was gone, the rest of the Carstairs family traveled to India, to Paris, to Cape Town and Canada, but they were at Cirenworth for the holidays when he finally returned.
She had waited months for his return, but when he stepped out of the carriageâtaller, more angular, and sharper than everâhe seemed like a different person. He'd always been short-tempered and prickly, but now he would barely speak to her. When he did, it was mostly to tell her not to bother him.
Her parents ignored the transformation. When Cordelia asked her father why Alastair wouldn't spend time with her, he smiled at her and told her that teenage boys went through “times like this” and she would “understand when she was older.” “He's been having fun with boys his own age all year and now he's got to be back in the countryside with the likes of us,” Elias said with a chuckle. “He'll get over it.”
This was not a satisfying answer. Cordelia tried to put herself in
Alastair's path as much as she could, to force him to acknowledge her. Often, though, she couldn't even find him. He spent hours locked in his bedroom, and when she knocked on the door, he didn't even bother to tell her to go away. He just ignored her. The only way she knew he'd been in there was when he emerged to eat, or to announce he was going out for a long walk by himself.
This went on for a few weeks. Cordelia's feelings changed from disappointment, to sorrow, to blaming herself, to annoyance, and then to anger. At dinner one night she threw a spoon at him and shouted, “Why won't you talk to me?” Alastair caught the spoon out of the air, put it down on the table, and glared at her in silence.
“Don't throw things, Cordelia,” her mother said.
“Mâmân!”
Cordelia protested in a tone of betrayal. Her father ignored the entire business and went on eating as though nothing had happened. Risa glided by and set a new spoon down at Cordelia's place, which Cordelia found extremely irritating.
Alastair's refusal to engage with Cordelia was, she understood, meant to cause her to give up and stop trying. So she redoubled her efforts. “Well,” she would announce, if she found herself in the same room with him, “I'm going to collect wild blackberries down the lane.” (Alastair loved blackberries.) Or, “I think I'll do some tumbling in the training room after lunch.” (Alastair was always on her to practice how to fall safely, and she'd need a partner for that.)
One day when he went out for one of his walks, Cordelia waited a minute and then followed. It was good practice, she told herselfâstealthy movement, awareness of her surroundings, honing her senses. She made it a game: How long could she track her brother before he noticed? Could she remain undetected long enough to find out where he went?
It turned out Alastair didn't go anywhere. He just walked and walked, knowing these woods well enough not to get lost. Cordelia
began to get tired after a couple of hours. Then she began to get hungry.
Then she got distracted, and hooked her foot into a protruding tree root, and fell in a thud on the hard-packed dirt. Ahead, Alastair turned at the noise and spotted her as she, annoyed, scrambled to her feet. She folded her arms and held up her chin, stubborn and determined to retain her pride in the face of whatever unpleasant reaction he was preparing: his contempt, his rage, his dismissal.
Instead, he let out a sigh and walked over to her. Without preamble he said gruffly, “Are you hurt?”
Cordelia lifted her foot and wiggled it experimentally. “I'll be okay. Just bruised, I think.”
“Come on,” he said. “Let's go home.”
They walked in silence, Alastair a few steps ahead, not speaking. Eventually, driven mad by the silence, Cordelia burst out, “Don't you want to know why I was following you?”
He turned and considered her. “I assume you thought I was coming out here to do something exciting.”
“I'm sorry,” she said, growingâas alwaysâmore agitated in the face of Alastair's imperturbable calm. “I'm sorry that since you went away to the Academy you've become all grown-up and mature and you have fancy new friends. I'm sorry I'm just your stupid little sister.”
Alastair stared at her a moment, and then let out a bark of laughter. There was no humor in it. “You have no idea what you're talking about.”
“I'm sorry you're too good for your family now! I'm sorry you're too good to train with me!”
He shook his head, dismissive. “Don't be daft, Cordelia.”
“Just talk to me!” she said. “I don't know why you're so grumpy. You're the lucky one who got to go away. Who got to have fun in Idris. You know how alone I've been all year?”
For a moment, Alastair looked lost, hesitant. It had been a long time since Cordelia had seen an expression so open on his face. Then he slammed shut like an iron gate. “We're all of us alone,” he said. “In the end.”
“What does that mean?” she demanded, but he'd turned to walk away. After a moment, wiping the wetness from her face with her sleeve, she followed.
When they got back to the house, she left him in the entryway while she retrieved the entire stock of throwing knives from the china cabinet that served as the house's armory. She walked past her brother on the way from cabinet to training room, glaring at him, barely able to carry the pile. He watched her in silence.
In the training room she set up and went through her paces.
Thunk. Thunk.
Throwing knives were not her strongest weapon, but she needed the sense of impact, of getting to hurt something, even just a target on a backstop. As usual, the rhythm of training soothed her. Her breathing became more calm and even. The repetition grounded her: five throws, then the walk to retrieve the knives from the target and the walk back to try again. Five throws. Walk. Retrieve. Walk. Five throws.
After twenty minutes or so of this she realized that Alastair was standing in the doorway of the training room. She ignored him.
Someone else might have said that she'd gotten better since he saw her last, or asked if he could take a turn. Alastair, though, eventually cleared his throat and said, “You're turning your left foot on the release. That's why you're so inconsistent.”
She glared and went back to throwing. But she paid more attention to her footwork.
After a while Alastair said, “It's stupid to say I'm lucky. I'm not lucky.”
“You weren't stuck here all year.”
“Oh?” Alastair sneered. “How many people came here this year
to mock you? How many asked what was wrong with you that you didn't have a private tutor? Or suggested your family was some kind of ne'er-do-wells because we've moved around a lot?”
Cordelia looked over at him, expecting to see vulnerability and sadness there, but Alastair's eyes were hard, his mouth a thin line. “They treated you badly?”
Alastair let out another mirthless laugh. “For a while. I realized I had a choice. There were only two kinds of people at the Academy. The bullies and the bullied.”
“And youâ¦?”
Alastair said tightly, “Which would you have chosen?”
“If those were my only two choices,” Cordelia said, “I would have left and come home.”
“Yes, well,” he said. “I chose the one where I wasn't made to feel like a laughingstock.”
Cordelia was very still and silent. Alastair's face was impassive.
“And how has that worked out?” she said, as mildly as she dared.
“Awful,” he said. “It's awful.”
Cordelia did not know what to say or what to do. She wanted to go and throw her arms around her brother, to tell him that she loved him, but he stood rigid, with his arms crossed in front of him, and she didn't dare. Finally she held out the knife in her hand. “Do you want to have a throw? You're much better than I am.”
When he looked suspicious, she said, “I could use some help, Alastair. You see how careless my form is.”
Alastair came and took the knife from her. “Very careless,” he agreed. “I know swordplay comes naturally to you, but not everything will. You must slow down. Pay attention to your feet. Now, follow my gestures. That's it, Layla. Stay with me.”
And she would.
My heart is bound by beauty's spell.
My love is indestructible.
Although I like a candle burn,
And almost to a shadow turn,
I envy not the heart that's free:
Love's soul-encircling chains for me.
âNizami Ganjavi,
Layla and Majnun
James lay on the bed
in his room, atop the covers, his arm flung behind his head. He was gazing at a familiar crack in the ceiling that was shaped a bit like a duck. His father would be horrified.
Matthew sat beside him, wearing a velvet jacket and matching trousers. James had wavered in and out of consciousness for the first two days after his visit to Belial's realm. Sometimes he dreamed of the demon world and woke up yelling, reaching for a weapon that wasn't there. His knives might not have been beside him, but Matthew always was.
If there was anyone in the world who understood about
parabatai
, it was James's parents. On the first night of their return from Highgate, Matthew had dragged a pile of bedding into James's room,
rolled himself up in it, and gone to sleep. No one tried to make him leaveâwhen Tessa brought soup and tea to James, she brought some for Matthew, too. When Will came and brought card games to while away the time, Matthew played as well, and usually lost.
Not that others weren't kind as well. When Anna brought James a stylish new necktie to cheer him, she brought one for Matthew. When Lucie smuggled in midnight tarts from the kitchen, there were extras for Matthew. It was possible, as a result, that Matthew was never going home. James could hardly blame him: Charles had certainly been a pill lately. Everyone was hailing Christopher as a hero for having created the antidote to the Mandikhor poisonâa tale made even more romantic by the fact that Christopher had been stricken down and healed himself. Few knew Charles almost hadn't let Thomas use the lab to make it. The words “If it hadn't been for Alastair Carstairs, everything would have been ruined,” had actually passed Thomas's lips, causing James to wonder if he'd wandered back into the demon realm.
Thomas and Christopher visited every day, carrying stories of the aftermath of the sickness. None of those who had been ill remembered chanting James's name, nor did Ariadne recall her brief possession. The quarantine had been lifted and Charlotte and Henry were returning shortly; Christopher and James were currently both heroes, which angered James greatly as, he pointed out, Cordelia had been with him in the demon realm and had it not been for her, he would have died. Lucie had also saved the day, as had Matthew. Thomas had helped retrieve the malos root from Chiswick House and had made the antidote with his own hands. Anna had taken them to the Hell Ruelle. They were all heroes, in his opinion.
It was Matthew who asked him, when they were alone, if he thought he might be missing Cordelia. She alone hadn't come to visit him: the break in her leg was a bad one, it turned out, and
would take several days to heal. Lucie had been to see her and reported her in good spirits. “I read to her from
The Beautiful Cordelia
and she went right to sleep,” Lucie said with delight, “so she must have been very tired.”
Thomas and Christopher had gone to see her as well, and brought her chocolates. They asked James if he had anything he wanted them to bring to her with his compliments. He shook his head without speaking, afraid what might pour out if he opened his mouth. He didn't want to discuss Cordelia with anyone. He just wanted to see her. If he saw her, he would know.
“So,” Matthew said, folding his own arms behind his head. “With your new status as hero of the Clave, do you plan to make any demands?” He regarded the crack in the ceiling plaster. “I would ask for my own personal valet, and Oscar Wilde to be brought to me for conversation.”
“Isn't he dead?” said James.
“Nothing wrong with the undead.” Matthew chuckled. “Wait until our next visit to the Hell Ruelle.”
James was silent for a moment. He preferred to avoid the Clave, in truth; there was too much they didn't know. All they had been toldâby Lucie, Matthew, and Cordeliaâwas that he had found and slain the Mandikhor in Highgate Cemetery with the help of his friends. He saw no reason for them to know more.
The situation had been different with his parents, however. When he had finally been coherent enough to tell the story, he had explained it to them, and to Lucie. He had told them the truth about his encounter with Belial, and the way Belial, having been wounded by Cortana, had crumbled to dust. Lastly, he told them of the blood relationship that existed between the Herondales and the Prince of Hell.
They had all reacted characteristically. Tessa had been practical and said that she'd been trying to find out who her father was for
years, and at least now they knew. Lucie had looked shaken but said she would turn the story into a novel. Will had been angry at the world, and then gone to see Jem.
Jem, who had promised to keep the secret of Tessa's parentage, had told Will that while a Prince of Hell could not be killed, such a serious wound would keep Belial weak and disembodied for at least a century.
James had told Christopher and Thomas as well, but everyone had agreed that it was best to keep the details regarding Belial a secret for now, especially as the Prince of Hell was not a current threat. His realm had crumbled away, Jem had explained, signifying a true loss of power for the Lord of Thieves. It was unlikely that James would ever feel the pull to the demon realm again, or ever see it at all.
“James?” His door cracked open and his mother stood on the threshold. She smiled when she saw him and Matthew, but there was a line of concern between her brows. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and said, “Someone is here to see you. A young lady.”
James sat upright. “Cordelia?”
He saw Matthew give him a sideways look, but Tessa was already shaking her head.
“Not Cordelia,” she said. “It is Grace Blackthorn.”
It was Matthew's turn to bolt into a sitting position. “Oh no,” he said. “No, no. Send her away. Tell her there's a rat infestation. Tell her that vague, insidious behavior has been made illegal in the Institute and she's not allowed in.”
Tessa merely raised her eyebrows. “She said it was regarding an important matter.”
Matthew turned to James imploringly. “Jamie. Don't. After what she did⦔
James glared at his
parabatai
. Even now, Tessa and Will knew little of the understanding he had once shared with Grace, and he preferred to keep it that way.
“Is it about her mother?” he said. “Isn't Tatiana well again?”
“She is quite well,” said Tessa. The antidote had been incredibly effective; as far as James knew, not a single poisoned Shadowhunter had not recovered. “James, if you don't want to see herâ”
“I'll see her,” James said, rising to his feet. “Send her in.”
As Tessa went to fetch Grace, Matthew rolled off the bed and toed on his shoes. He turned at the door to give James a sharp look. “Be careful,” he said, and departed, leaving the door open.
A moment later, as if she had been waiting for Matthew to leave, Grace came into the room.
She looked beautiful, as always. Her white-blond hair was pulled smoothly back from her oval face. Her cheeks were flushed with pale pink color, like the inside of a seashell. She wore a green dress, its hem wet and a bit draggledâit had been raining on and off for most of the day, and it was now late afternoon.
Once her beauty had shaken him like a storm. Now, seeing her, he felt only a great wearinessâa bleary exhaustion, as if he had drunk too much the night before. He wished she were not here. Not because it hurt him to look at her, but because it didn't.
He had thought of himself as someone who loved more deeply than that. “You wanted to talk to me alone,” he said. “Are you sure that's a good idea? Your motherâ”
“Would go mad if she knew I was here,” Grace said. “Yes. But I had to talk to you.”
“You had better close the door, then,” he said. He had never been so short with Grace. It felt odd and awkward, but then, it felt odd and awkward for her to be here at all.
Grace's hands shook as she closed the door. She turned back and, to James's immense surprise, knelt down on the floor in front of him.
He took a step back. “Grace. Don't.”
“I must,” she said. Her hands were in fists. “I understand why
you don't want to listen to me. You have every reason. But I must beg you to do just that.” She exhaled a shuddering breath. “I engaged myself to Charles because I believed that by the time my mother recovered, she would be unable to hurt me. She would find me protected by the Consul's family.”
“Yes,” said James. “I know. They will indeed protect you. The Fairchilds are good people.” He exhaled. “Grace, get up, please.”
She got to her feet, her chin raised. “I returned to Chiswick House with Charles yesterday, to fetch some of my belongings,” she said. “I intend to remain away from home until my marriage. I saw my mother there, and at first I thought I had been successful. She seemed pleased I had made a powerful match. Then I realized she had lost interest in what I had done because she had larger plans.”
James frowned. Under her eyes he could see the tracks of recent tears. Worry stirred, despite himself. “What kind of plans?”
“You know she hates you and your father,” Grace said rapidly. “She hates her brothers as well. She has always believed that one day they would kill her to get Chiswick House back.”
“In the state it's in, she'd be lucky if anyone wanted it,” said James, but Grace didn't seem to hear him.
“When she woke from her sickness, she found out somehowâI do not know howâthat you had nearly died, and she believes⦔ Grace seemed to be struggling for words. “She has always believed that Jesse might be brought back from the dead if she used necromancy. She called upon warlocks, hoping they would do dark magic for her. She begged demons to help herâ”
James was appalled. “But that is madness. To dabble in such things is a near-certain death sentence.”
“She did not dabble. She
dedicated
herself to the idea, collecting books of necromancy, scouring Shadow Markets for Hands of Gloryâ”
“But the Enclave searched Chiswick House. They found no trace of dark magic.”
“She keeps it all at the manor in Idris.”
“And you never told me of any of this?” said James.
“How could I? And implicate you, too? She is mad where you are concerned. Since she awoke from her poisoned sleep, she has been raging and ranting. She says she knows now there is no chance Jesse will ever return. She says it is as if you stole his last breath by surviving the Mandikhor.”
“What?”
James's head was spinning. “How would that be possible?”
“I would tell you if I knew. James, she is
dangerous
,” said Grace. “She has built herself a palace of dreams and lies, and when those lies are threatened, she lashes out. Do you remember the automaton in the hallway of the manor in Idris?”
“Yes, though I don't see what that has to do with anythingâ”
“It was enspelled by a warlock years ago,” said Grace. “In the event of her death, it is enchanted to rise up and kill Shadowhunters. Now she has decided that Jesse will never rise and that she has nothing to live for. She plans to end her life tonight, and when she does, it will wreak havoc. It will go to Alicanteâ”
James's heart had begun to pound. “I understand what it will do,” he said. “Grace, we must go to my parents with this information.”
“No! No one must know, James. If the Clave arrests my mother, if they search Blackthorn Manor, they will see how deeply my mother has sunk into necromancy and black magic, and I will be at fault as well, and Jesseâ” She broke off, her hands fluttering like panicked moths. “If she knew I had given away her secrets, Mama would want me to be blamed, James. I could be locked in the Silent City.”
“That need not happen. This is Tatiana's sin, not yours. And she is clearly madâthere can be mercy for the madâ”
She raised her face to his. Her eyes gleamed; tears or determination, he could not tell. “James,” she said. “I'm so sorry.”
“Sorry?” he echoed. “For what?”
“I never wanted to do this to you,” she said. “But she insisted. And
he
insisted. It had to be you. My mother made me her blade, to cut every barrier raised against her. But your blood,
his
blood, is a barrier I cannot cut. I cannot bind you without his chain.”
Something silver flashed in her hand. She caught at his arm; he tried to pull away, but she held fast. He felt something cold against his skin, and heard a click like a lock turning as the metal circle closed about his wrist. A spark of pain traveled up his arm, like a sudden shock of electricity.
He tried to step back. Shadowy images rose before his eyes. In the last moment before it all changed, he saw Cordeliaâshe stood some distance away from him, at the edge of the Institute roof. When he tried to turn, to look at her, she covered her face with her hands and moved back, out of his reach. He saw the moon behind her, or perhaps it was not the moon. It was a silver, spinning thing, a wheel in the night, so bright it blinded him to every other star.
It had been raining in London, but the weather in Idris, even at the edge of sunset, was warm. Lucie had followed Uncle Jem along the path from the spot where they had Portaled in, just outside Alicante. One could not Portal directly into the walled city; it was warded against such things. Lucie didn't mind. Her destination was not within the city limits.
Jemâshe never could think of him as Brother Zachariah, no matter how hard she triedâwalked along beside her as they skirted the Imperishable Fields. His hood was down, and the wind ruffled his black hair. Though his face was scarred, she realized for the first time that it was a young faceâmuch more like her mother's
than her father's. Was it strange for Will, she wondered, to be aging and have Jem remain in appearance still a boy? Or when you loved someone, did you not notice these things, just as her parents saw no difference between themselves?