Authors: Elizabeth Lowell
“What about you lot?“ Tommy asked, looking toward the other disappointed divers. “You want to help me take this Sheila to the laundry?“
“Sounds like that’s as close to water as we’re going to get today,“ said one of the men. The others muttered agreement.
Moments later the tables had been pushed together, beers had been ordered all around, pennies were thrown into the pot and cards were dealt.
“Where’s the big Yank?“ Sally asked.
“Sutter?“ Mandy asked, peeking at her hole card.
“He’s the biggest Yank on the island,“ Tommy said. “Bloody good diver, too. Never makes a careless move.“
“He’s going over his scuba gear,“ Mandy said, hoping that she was keeping her disappointment out of her voice.
She had no right to expect Sutter to entertain her. Her presence on his vacation had been unexpected, to say the least. All in all, he had been a very good sport about it. He had gone reef walking with her several times, fed the tiny fish, made circuits of the island looking for turtle tracks, eaten meals with her and had always tactfully withdrawn from the tent at night until she had fallen asleep. What more could she ask?
A little less tact,
she admitted to herself ruefully.
“Hit me,“ Mandy said.
“Don’t tempt me, luv,“ Tommy said, giving her a flashing smile and the card she had requested.
Mandy smiled in return, remembering Anthea’s advice about finding an Australian lover. With a cross between amusement and exasperation she looked over her cards at the expanse of bare, muscular male chests and sexy grins surrounding her. She had yet to see an Australian male who wasn’t tall, well built, tanned, easygoing and good-looking. She had no doubt that Ray or Tommy or one of the tourist divers would be more than happy to accommodate her with a sandy fling, especially when the wind was blowing too hard for the dive boat to get out. Sally and the other girls who worked on the island certainly never lacked male attention.
So why didn’t Mandy take Anthea’s advice and snaffle one of these engaging Australian males?
Because they aren’t Sutter,
she admitted to herself.
“I’m good,“ Mandy said absently, frowning at her own thoughts.
Tommy’s smile changed indefinably. His blue glance shifted from the cards in his hands as he made a leisurely, thorough appraisal of the womanly flesh that filled out the black bikini top Mandy wore.
“I’ll just bet you are, luv,“ he said, winking at her.
Mandy blinked, then laughed, shaking her head. Even if she never so much as kissed one of these Australian males, they were good for her ego.
“Hit me,“ Ray said.
Indolently Tommy flicked him a card.
“Again.“
Another card fell.
“Busted,“ Ray said in disgust, turning his other card faceup. The three cards totaled twenty-two.
Tommy went around the tables until no one remained but himself. He turned over a ten to match his nine.
“Pay twenty.“
“That’s me,“ Mandy said promptly, showing a jack and a queen.
“You keep that up and I’m going to feed you to the fishes,“ Ray said in disgust.
“I’d poison them.“
“A sweet little Sheila like you?“ Ray said. “Not a prayer, luv. Not a single prayer.“
On the next deal Mandy got a blackjack. It was the same on the following deal. When she turned over a blackjack for the third time in a row, everyone threw in the cards in disgust.
“That’s it,“ Ray proclaimed loudly. “To the fishes with her!“
Laughing, Mandy tried to divide her modest mound of pennies among the losers so that the game could continue. The divers were having none of it.
“The door, Sally,“ Ray said, reaching for Mandy with a gleam in his eyes.
“Right,“ Sally said, grinning.
Suddenly Mandy found herself out of her chair and hanging upside down over Ray’s shoulder. She didn’t believe what was happening until the door slammed shut behind the laughing, rowdy divers who were urging Ray on. A few feet beneath her nose the coral path sped by.
“Beer!“ Mandy called out, thinking fast. “Drinks are on me, guys, but only if I stay dry!“
The other divers didn’t bite on the offer. They had been drinking beer most of the afternoon. Dunking Mandy promised more diversion than one more round of brew.
The upside-down world went by Mandy with dizzying speed. Most men would have had the wind taken out of their sails just by carrying her halfway to the Fish Pond, but not Ray. His diving career had given him both strength and endurance. He wasn’t even breathing hard.
Damn these muscle-bound Aussie men!
Mandy thought as she struggled to free herself.
It was futile. Short of biting, she could make no dent in Ray’s strength. She wasn’t ready to resort to her teeth before she had tried reasoning with the men.
“Ray? Ray, put me down,“ Mandy pleaded, shouting over the raucous encouragement of the other divers. “I promise I won’t play cards anymore.“
“Too late, luv,“ he said cheerfully. “I warned you.“
The path gave way to the beach. Blue water flashed beneath the heat-misted tropical sky.
“Ray! Please! I don’t like water!“ Mandy shouted, her voice high. “Please! Listen to me! This isn’t funny anymore! I – I’m afraid of water! Don’t drop me in! Please!“
Shouts of laughter and pure disbelief greeted Mandy’s frantic cries.
“Sure you are, luv,“ Ray said, laughing. “That’s why you spent a pot of money to come to this little bit of nothing in the middle of the biggest ocean on God’s earth. Afraid of water? That’s rich, luv, really rich. All right, you lot. Make way for the fish food. Give us a hand, Tommy, there’s a good lad.“
Suddenly the world flipped over and Mandy found herself even more helpless man she had been before, unable even to bite or claw or kick, her feet held securely in Ray’s grasp and her wrists in Tommy’s while the rest of the divers called outrageous suggestions as to the best way of launching the fish feast.
“One,“ chanted the divers as Ray and Tommy swung Mandy between them, her hips skimming the surface of the water. “Two.“
Suddenly Mandy screamed and twisted frantically in the grip of the two divers. It was no use. She was utterly helpless to free herself. With that realization came both terror and despair. She screamed again, a single raw sound that was Sutter’s name.
“Three!“
There was a giddy time of flight and then the Fish Pond splashed up and over Mandy just as she was taking another breath to scream again. Instantly she choked and panicked. She thrashed around futilely, unable even to get to her feet in the shallow water. She opened her mouth again but there was only water surrounding her, engulfing her, drowning her.
Suddenly Mandy was pulled free of the water and held in a man’s powerful arms. She knew it was Sutter who had rescued her even before she heard his deep, icy voice flaying Ray and Tommy in measured phrases of contempt Knowing mat she was safe, she wrapped her arms around Sutter and hung on while he walked to shore. Her body convulsed with sobs and coughs as she cleared her lungs of the lagoon’s salty water.
“I heard her pleading with you all the way over at the dive shed,“ Sutter continued, his green eyes narrowed as he watched understanding dawn on the divers. “How in God’s name could you do it? Are you as deaf as you are cruel?“
“Bloody hell,“ Ray said softly, looking from Mandy’s shaking body to Sutter’s barely contained rage. “She meant it, didn’t she? She’s really afraid of water!“
“Your mental acuity leaves me breathless,“ Sutter said, anger vibrating in every word.
“How was I to know? Bloody hell, mate, people who are afraid of water don’t come
here.
It makes no sense! When I found out I had no stomach for heights, you can bet your arse I never went rock climbing in the Snowy Mountains again!“
Ray had a point and Sutter knew it, but he was far too angry at the moment to be reasonable. His arms closed protectively around Mandy when she sagged against him, her body shuddering with the strength of her sobs as she tried to speak. He couldn’t understand what she was trying to say. He bent until his ear was next to her mouth. She was repeating two words over and over again, the syllables broken by sobs:
The baby, the baby.
“It’s all right, golden eyes,“ Sutter murmured soothingly, stroking her gently. “You’re safe.“ He continued holding and caressing her, speaking reassurances over and over again until he sensed that she finally had heard him. “That’s it. Hold tight to me. You’re safe, darling. You’re safe.“ He smoothed his cheek over the wet, tangled hair, kissed her salty cheek and held her even closer, wishing he could understand what she was trying to say. Maybe then he would be able to ease the terrible sobs shaking her.
“Mandy,“ Ray said softly, his voice as troubled as his blue eyes. He touched her shoulder. “I’m sorry.“
The words were repeated many times as the other divers apologized.
Mandy didn’t hear anything but her own wild grief.
“Mandy…?“ Ray asked.
“Give it a rest,“ Sutter said, pinning the young diver with a hard green glance, then moving on to look at the others. “All of you. Clear out.“
Sutter had faced down armed men with a similar look. The divers wasted no time in finding somewhere else to be. Neither did Sutter. There were people all over that part of the beach – reef walkers chased to shore by the rising tide, swimmers who enjoyed a lazy paddle^ in the Fish Pond as it deepened with the tide, and other people who simply liked to stretch out on the sand and dream while the sun descended into a sea stained purple by the end of day.
With long strides Sutter walked down the beach, away from the office and cabins and other people. He ignored the tent set apart from others. It would be stifling in there. There was no wind stirring now, nothing to ease the intense, sultry heat of the tropics. Clouds had formed in the absence of the wind, holding the hot air close to the earth. Light flickered oddly within the clouds, heat lightning made almost visible by the descending sun.
As he walked, Sutter felt the shudders that took Mandy’s body without warning, heard her tearing breaths, felt the scalding touch of her tears against his chest With every step he took he raged at himself for not reaching the Fish Pond a few seconds sooner – and for having left her alone in the first place. He should have guessed what kind of horseplay a bunch of young, bored divers would find appealing. He should have stayed in the bar and kept the lid on things.
But it was his own self-control he had been worried about, not that of the divers. It had been driving him slowly wild to sit next to Mandy, to feel the occasional brush of her bare leg against his when she shifted position, to sense her smooth feminine warmth so close to him that all he would have had to do was to move his hand a few inches and it would have lain in the soft, shadowed darkness between her thighs.
He had taken it as long as he could, and then he had fled to the dive shed to check equipment that didn’t need checking.
The sand beneath Sutter’s feet changed to a pea gravel made of tiny hunks of coral. A hundred feet farther down the beach the gravel gave way to a limestone slope striped with random small troughs of sand. The sand cushions were barely inches above the incoming tide, but that would be enough for now. There was no one else at this end of the island. Mandy could hold on to him and cry in privacy, working out the last residue of her fear.
Sutter lowered himself until he was sitting with his back braced against the smooth limestone. Gently he arranged Mandy across his lap. In silence he held her against his chest, smoothing her hair and her back with slow sweeps of his hand. After a long time she was quiet, with only random trembling to mark the aftermath of her panic. She took in a deep, shaky breath and then simply leaned against Sutter, absorbing his undemanding presence. Slowly her breath evened out.
“I’m sorry,“ Sutter murmured, brushing Mandy’s forehead comfortingly with his lips. “I should have known they would make the same mistake with you that I made. Not believing until it was too late.“
Wearily Mandy shook her head. “My fault,“ she whispered. “I should have told everyone that I was afraid of planes and boats and water on the first day.“ Her mouth turned down in self-contempt. “Like you said – afraid of my own damned shadow.“
“Don’t,“ Sutter said, putting his fingers gently across her mouth. “I was tired, jet-lagged and wrong from the first word I said about you.“
Mandy simply shook her head and tried to sit up, but Sutter’s arms were too tight. When she persisted, he turned her shoulder blades to his chest, opened his legs and settled her on the sand between his thighs.
“Use me for a backrest,“ he offered. “I may not be much smarter than limestone but I’m a hell of a lot more comfortable.“
At first Mandy resisted the temptation of Sutter’s offer. She sat awkwardly upright, feeling chilled despite the heat trapped in the sand and air and ocean around her. But after a few minutes the lure of Sutter’s living warmth was too great to deny. Mandy sighed raggedly and leaned back. Big, gentle hands stroked down her arms, silently reassuring her, warming her.
In silence Sutter and Mandy watched the sun complete the last of its fiery arc before being consumed by the restless, incandescent sea. When the molten rays of light vanished into a surreal gloaming, Sutter began talking about sunset on the African field, about projects that had worked and those that had not, about the animals and the men and the laughing, black-eyed children whose future well-being depended on the generosity of tyrants.
Mandy listened in a dreamy, suspended silence, feeling Sutter’s deep voice vibrate subtly through her body, seeping into her soul. Only gradually did she become aware of the water that had risen slowly, flowing across the reef, flooding the lagoon, the ocean licking softly at her outstretched feet. There was no coolness, no hint of chill in the water, simply a tidal exhalation of warmth lapping slowly closer.
Distantly Mandy knew that she should move, retreat up the beach, get away from the devouring sea…but she was held suspended in the warm and gentle moment, Sutter’s hands smoothing her arms, his breath feathering against her cheek. She didn’t want the time of peace to end. If that meant enduring the sea’s blind caress, then she would do so as long as she could. The water was barely three inches deep, no threat to her.
And Sutter was so close, his living warmth radiating into her body, sinking into her very soul.
Sighing, Mandy shifted her weight slightly, a matter more of relaxing utterly against Sutter’s chest than of any real movement on her part. He felt the subtle increase of her weight against him and closed his eyes for an instant in reflexive response to the emotion twisting through him. Mandy’s wordless declaration of trust in the face of the rising tide moved him as nothing else could have. Gently he brushed his cheek against her hair. The strands were damp, scented with the sea, infused with the warmth of her body.
Overhead, the sky was half glittering stars, half towering clouds, where chain lightning silently danced through velvet darkness. The moon was a distant, tilted smile, as though approving the sequined shimmer of lightning so far below. The surface of the sea reflected darkness and light, becoming both, breathing warmth into the air and the land alike.
Mandy smiled back at the moon as she drifted within the timeless moment of peace, suspended between the warmth of the sea and Sutter alike, feeling as though she were in a different reality, a world where Sutter’s words were intangible caresses, phrases murmuring through her flesh and bones, whispering deeply to her soul. She murmured in return, sound without meaning, soft echoes of her serenity.
Sutter heard and understood Mandy’s wordless message. With subtle movements of his body, he gathered her closer against himself. Closing his eyes, he held her, wishing that he had the power to turn back the rising tide so that Mandy could always stay as she was, relaxed in his arms, allowing him to ease the icy terror of past helplessness with the healing warmth of present companionship.
But no man could hold back the hushed silver glide of the sea. When it lapped almost over Mandy’s calves, she brought her feet in close to her hips, raising her knees and most of her legs above the water. Reluctantly Sutter shifted position, as well. He didn’t want Mandy to get up, for then the time of peace and intimacy would end. He wasn’t ready for that. There had been nothing in his experience quite like these languid moments when he had been suspended with Mandy between warm limestone and the swelling tide.
Finally the rising water dissolved Mandy’s peace.
“Sutter, have you ever heard the phrase, ‘caught between a demon and the deep blue sea’?“
He laughed softly. “Getting too wet? Try this.“
Sutter lifted Mandy, turning her until she straddled his lap facing him. In that position the sea claimed her only from the knees down.
“Better?“ he asked.
Mandy was so close to Sutter that she could see the flash and gleam of distant lightning reflected in his eyes. His smile was like his hands, like his body, like his words, warmly reassuring, demanding nothing of her.
“I was wrong,“ she whispered. “You’re not a devil at all.“
“Does that mean we can stay out here for a while?“
She nodded.
“Good. I don’t want to leave. Not yet. Not until we have to.“
When Mandy realized that Sutter was enjoying the gentle intimacy as much as she was, a fragile shimmer of warmth unfurled deep within her. She lowered herself very slowly against Sutter’s chest, feeling her breath unravel as his living heat touched her from her forehead to her thighs. Sensations shivered through her body at random, sweetness dancing like distant, silver lightning over her nerves.
Sutter smoothed his hand down Mandy’s back in a gesture that was meant to be soothing and reassuring but somehow fell short of its intended goal…or far surpassed it. With a sigh, Mandy tucked her cheek against his shoulder and turned her face into his neck. For an instant he thought he felt the lightest brush of her lips against his throat.
Suddenly he became aware of far more than the relaxed trust of Mandy’s body lying against his. He felt the soft weight of her breasts behind the bikini top’s scant confinement. The cloth was damp and vaguely cool, her skin satin and warm. Every time he took a breath his skin brushed hers, sending heat through him, heat gathering from the pit of his stomach to his thighs, heat changing him with each quickening heartbeat.
For a few moments Sutter fought the urgent surge of his body; then he succumbed with a mental shrug. He could get as hard as the limestone shelf and it wouldn’t make any difference. He wasn’t a boy to lose control of himself at the first rash of desire, and Mandy wasn’t an inexperienced girl to be embarrassed by a man’s aroused body. Besides, they were hardly in a position to do anything more than savor the unexpected rewards of peace and companionship. Peace, not passion, because at any moment someone might come walking up the beach. It wasn’t particularly likely, but it was still possible.
The thought didn’t prevent Sutter from enjoying the sweet weight of Mandy lying along his chest. Nor did it make him turn away from the warmth of her lips against his neck. Instead, he closed his eyes the better to savor the sensation of a gliding, butterfly kiss breathed onto his skin. Slowly, inevitably, he turned toward her, intending to do no more than brush his lips across her cheek as he had done before.
Somehow it was Mandy’s lips Sutter touched, not her cheek. There was an instant of brushing contact, then another, then another and yet another until finally his mouth was rocking very gently over hers. By the time he fully realized what he was doing, it was too late.
Mandy sighed, sending a wave of sweetness and warmth over Sutter’s lips. She returned his kiss so delicately that he held his breath at the unexpected beauty of the caress. Never had he guessed there could be such exquisite, piercing pleasure in a chaste kiss.
Nor had Mandy. With a tiny sound that could barely be heard above Sutter’s own heartbeat, she nestled once more against his neck, warming his throat with her breath. Slowly his hand came up to her face. Fingertips traced her forehead and the line of her cheek, the curve of her chin and the warmth of her lips. She shivered delicately, feeling as though she were being licked by tender fire. Turning her face into his hand, she returned the pleasure he was giving to her. The warm caress she breathed into his palm became another kind of kiss as he tilted her face up to his. Their lips met again, rocked softly again, separated for the space of a breath, then met once more, clinging gently, repeatedly.
Mandy’s hands crept up Sutter’s chest until she could hold his face between her palms. The holding was as gentle as the kiss, as soft as the glide of his hands down her back. She felt suspended once more, only this time she was being gilded with sensual pleasure, quivering with the beauty of it. Never had she imagined that a man could be so exquisitely restrained with his caresses.