Read Chaff upon the Wind Online
Authors: Margaret Dickinson
Slowly she raised her eyes to look into his. Never in the whole of her life had she seen such love and devotion in anyone’s eyes. And it was for her, all for her. Suddenly, she felt very
humble. ‘Oh Teddy, I’ve been such a stupid fool.’
‘Hush, my love . . .’ and then his lips touched hers in a kiss so gentle it was almost reverent.
She clung to him then, burying her face against his neck and as his arms went about her, holding her close, she sobbed out all the unhappiness, all the burden of the guilty secret she had borne
so long.
‘I’m sorry, so sorry . . .’
‘Hush now, hush, my dearest,’ he murmured and when at last she drew back and took the handkerchief he offered, he coaxed her to sit down in the old leather chair at the side of the
range that was her father’s place. He dropped to one knee on the pegged rug and once more took her hands into his. ‘Kitty Clegg,’ he said, and though his tone was light-hearted,
almost teasing, the expression in his eyes was never more serious. ‘Will you do me the great honour of becoming my wife?’
Kitty gasped. ‘Oh Teddy, I couldn’t – I mean . . . It wouldn’t be right.’
The tone was still gentle though now she could see the hurt in his face. ‘Why, Kitty? I thought you said you didn’t love him any more. I know you can never love me, but I’d
take care of you, you and your son. All I want is to make you happy.’
She noticed that he said, with slight emphasis, ‘your son’, and she loved him all the more for that.
‘Oh Teddy, you’re wrong . . .’ Suddenly she was overcome with shyness and stammered, ‘I d-do love you. Truly I do. That’s what’s so awful – what’s
been so awful.’
‘Kitty,’ he said, touching her face with the tips of his fingers. ‘Do you mean it? Do you really mean it?’
‘Yes, oh yes. I’ve loved you for so long now, ever since before you went away to the war, I think.’
‘Then why? Whyever did you stay with him if . . .?’
She was shaking her head. ‘Don’t you see? I couldn’t leave him, because he threatened to tell the truth if I did. About Johnnie being Miriam’s. And – and he
threatened to take Johnnie away from me.’
‘So you stayed with him, all this time, just to keep the secret? My sister’s secret?’
She nodded. ‘Yes, but it was for Johnnie too. I love him dearly, Teddy, every bit as much as if he really were my own son. And after all, Jack was his father.’
‘I see.’ He was silent a moment and then probed gently, ‘And now? Are things different now that the secret’s out? Well, out as far as me, that is, because I don’t
plan to let it go any further. But surely Thorndyke has no hold over you now?’
She shuddered. ‘I’m afraid he’ll tell Johnnie to try to turn him against me.’
‘But the boy’s too young. He couldn’t grasp the full meaning of it. Thorndyke wouldn’t stoop so low, surely?’
Kitty shrugged helplessly. ‘I really don’t know what he might do. He’s like a stranger now. I feel as if I hardly know him any more.’
‘I suppose he could still demand the boy,’ Edward said slowly.
‘He could try,’ Kitty said, with a renewed surge of determination. ‘He did try, but I called his bluff . . .’ And she related the events that had followed Edward’s
quarrel with Jack, but ended, with infinite sadness in her tone, ‘So you see, although I do – do love you, I can’t bring trouble on you. If he reports me to the authorities like
he’s threatened . . .’
In answer, Edward raised her hands to his lips and kissed each work-worn finger, slowly and deliberately. ‘Do you really think I care about that? Whatever happens, I’ll be there for
you. We’ll face it together. Just marry me, Kitty. Marry me. Please?’
‘Over my dead body! She’ll marry into that family over my dead body.’ John Clegg wagged his forefinger only inches from his wife’s face, while Kitty
stood staring helplessly as the quarrel – the worst quarrel she had ever witnessed between her parents – vibrated through the house.
‘It was bad enough,’ he ranted on, ‘that she went to work for them. But you –
you
. . .’ he almost spat the word, ‘you wanted her there. I reckon you
wanted her with him. Close to the master.’ He thrust his face near his wife’s and the bitterness of years was in every line, in the twist of his mouth and the flash of his eyes.
‘Did you want the same thing to happen to her, eh, as happened to you?’
For a moment, Betsy wilted under his rage. ‘John, how can you say such a thing? How can you even think it?’
He had the grace to look a little ashamed but, belligerently, he muttered, ‘Well, how am I to know what to think? I’d’ve thought you’d have wanted to cut loose from that
family altogether, not keep clinging to them. Instead, you send your daughter – two of your daughters – to work for them. How am I supposed to know what to think?’ he repeated and
then added, with one last shaft of malice, ‘Besides, there’s bad blood in them girls.’ He flung out his hand towards Kitty. ‘Your bad blood, bringing disgrace to our door.
As if it weren’t bad enough what happened years ago, I have to go through it all again. And now Milly an’ all.’
‘Now just you look here, John Clegg.’ As his anger died away into maudlin self-pity, Betsy’s indignation flared.
Kitty tried to interpose. ‘Mam, don’t. I didn’t want to cause trouble between you . . .’
But Betsy flapped her away. ‘It’s not about you, Kitty, this. There’s things need to be said. Should’ve been said years ago.’ She faced her husband again.
‘You talk as if I’d betrayed you, been unfaithful to you, but you courted me and married me
after
all that business.’
John Clegg glanced uncomfortably at Kitty, but Betsy had an answer ready. ‘Oh aye, I’ve told her all about it. She knows. Your attitude over her bit of trouble wasn’t that of a
loving father, was it now? I had to make her see it wasn’t all her fault.’
Kitty swallowed, feeling fresh guilt sweep over her. ‘Mam . . .’ But Betsy was in full flow now.
‘Just answer me one thing, John. Did you ever love me? Did you marry me because you were genuinely fond of me or . . .?’ Now it was her turn to lean towards him and say, ‘Or
did you think you could worm your way into the Franklins’ good books by removing an “embarrassment” for them, eh? Maybe,’ she went on, slowly and with calculated
deliberation, ‘maybe you even thought that Henry Franklin would be so grateful to you that he’d set you up for life in a nice little job and slip you a few extra quid now and then, eh?
Well, maybe he didn’t keep you on in the job you wanted, but I’ll tell you summat that you don’t know. He got you the job here, on the railway.’
The man frowned. ‘How do you know that?’
Quietly now, she said, ‘Because he told me.’
‘Well, I’ve no cause to be thankful for that. A job on the railway when all I wanted was to be with me ’osses.’
Betsy sighed and shook her head. ‘But you’ve a position as stationmaster, some standing in the town, and just remember how fast you got that promotion.’
He stared at her. ‘You telling me he was behind that an’ all? That it wasn’t on me own merit?’
Betsy shrugged but said nothing and Kitty marvelled at her mother’s new-found strength. But no, it wasn’t newfound. It had always been there, and it was Kitty’s strength
too.
‘You talk about my bad blood, John,’ Betsy was saying now, ‘but I know you and your devious little ways. I’ve seen ’em over the years.’ Now she prodded her
forefinger towards him. ‘And it’s
you
our Milly takes after, if it’s anyone.’
Angrily, he turned away from her and wrenched open the back door of the house. ‘Oh you do what you like. But I won’t be going to no wedding at the Manor and that’s
final.’
The door slammed and the two women looked at each other.
‘Oh Mam, I’m so sorry.’
To her surprise, Betsy was smiling. ‘I’ve wanted to get that off me chest for years, lass. You’ve done me a favour.’ She took hold of Kitty’s hands and looked deep
into her eyes. ‘Just remember, Kitty, that we’re each responsible for what we do in life. Not anyone else. What I did all those years ago was my own doing, my choice. Henry didn’t
force himself on me, or seduce me. I knew what I was doing. I loved him, and, though I’m sorry that it caused such trouble, I’m not sorry for loving the man. What you did with Jack
Thorndyke, you did because you loved him. Yes, you’ve had a child out of wedlock, but you’ve borne what others call shame with pride and stood tall. It isn’t your fault that
Jack’s the way he is, that he won’t marry you. But now you have a second chance. Take it, Kitty, and be happy, because if ever I saw a man in love with a girl, then that’s Edward
Franklin with you.’
‘I know.’ Kitty’s voice was choked. ‘I know, Mam. But what about me dad?’
‘He’ll calm down. We’ll rub along together just as we always have done. I’m very fond of him, you know, and I think he is of me.’
‘Very fond’, Kitty thought sadly, wasn’t the description she would want to use for the foundation of a marriage. Not when, each day, she found she loved Edward more and
more.
‘So, will you,’ she asked her mother hesitantly, ‘come to the wedding?’
‘Try keeping me away,’ Betsy laughed and hugged her daughter.
It had been a surprise to Kitty that the only objection to their marriage had come from her family and not from the Franklins or Sir Ralph.
‘You really mean,’ she asked Edward for the tenth time, ‘that your mother
and
your father really – well – approve?’
‘If this war’s done nothing else,’ Edward said, ‘it has helped to sweep away the – what shall we call it – the gulf between the classes?’ His smile
widened. ‘Besides, Mother’s very fond of you, you know. And not only because she has good reason to be grateful to you.’
‘Yes, but that still doesn’t explain . . .’
‘Well,’ he said, feigning a modesty he was obviously not feeling, ‘maybe I had a little to do with it. I told them all, quite plainly, that I was marrying you whether they
liked it or not, so there!’
She put her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. He, of all of them, had never, ever treated her as a servant.
‘Teddy, oh Teddy,’ she whispered against his ear. ‘I do love you so.’
They were married quietly in the small church on Sir Ralph’s estate with only their immediate families present. Sir Ralph generously held a reception at the Hall where no
one seemed entirely at ease. Kitty’s family stood awkwardly, almost afraid to touch the delicate china as guests, yet as servants in such a house they would not have thought twice about
serving their betters with it. Sir Ralph moved among his guests with courteous ease and Miriam too, smiling, handed round the plates of sandwiches and cakes herself while the dreaded Mrs Bembridge
stood beside the butler near the door, her mouth tight with disapproval.
Kitty saw Sir Ralph at last come to stand before Mrs Franklin. She saw the tilt of his head towards her and saw the way Amelia Franklin looked up into his eyes. If ever there were two people who
should have been married to each other, Kitty thought suddenly, it was Sir Ralph and Amelia Franklin.
‘Penny for them,’ a voice said softly at her side and, startled, Kitty gave a swift, almost guilty laugh.
‘I was just being foolish.’ She looked into the eyes of the man who had been her husband for just over an hour and said, ‘I’m so happy today, Teddy, that I suppose I want
everyone else to be too.’
His glance went across the room. ‘My mother, you mean,’ he murmured. ‘And Sir Ralph.’
‘Oh no,’ she began quickly, confused and embarrassed. ‘I didn’t mean . . .’
Edward took her hand in his. ‘My darling, it’s no secret. It’s been the talk of the county for years. In circles where, years ago, suitable marriages were arranged by parents,
such liaisons, once a son and heir had been produced, were quite acceptable.’
Kitty gasped. ‘You don’t mean that she – he – they . . .?’
Edward shrugged. ‘I’ve never been quite sure. If there has been anything more than a close friendship, then they have been very discreet.’
Kitty sighed. ‘It’s sad, isn’t it? And for your father too. I mean . . .’ she hesitated and then whispered, ‘do – do you know, about when my mother worked at
the Manor?’
He nodded. ‘I knew a little, but recently I had to find out more.’ He squeezed her hand and leaned towards her to whisper impishly, ‘I couldn’t risk us being brother and
sister, now could I?’
Kitty gave a low chuckle and blushed. ‘No, oh no.’
She looked around the room but could see neither her own mother nor Henry Franklin. As if reading her thoughts, Edward said, ‘I think they’ve slipped away to the library, just to
talk and catch up on all the years, you know. Don’t begrudge them a little time together.’
‘I don’t. Oh I don’t,’ she said swiftly. ‘It’s just that I’ve been feeling so guilty about my mother – believing Johnnie is her
grandson.’
‘Don’t tell her yet, especially not today. Maybe when we have presented her with a child of our own, a child who will be truly her grandchild, perhaps then, eh?’
Kitty nodded, feeling a lump in her throat. ‘You’re right.’
‘Of course I am.’ He kissed her and she drew back.
‘People will see . . .’
‘I want them to see, Mrs Edward Franklin, just how very much I love you. Come . . .’ He took the plate she was holding and set it down on a small side table and then tucked her hand
through his arm. ‘It’s time we were on our way to start our honeymoon.’
They moved through the guests saying goodbye, until they came to Miriam.
By her side, carefully carrying a plate piled high with sandwiches, was Johnnie.
‘Johnnie . . .’ Kitty bent towards him, ‘we’re leaving now. You go home with Grannie Clegg and be a good boy. We won’t be away long and then . . .’
‘I’ll be fine, Mam.’ His piping voice carried clearly around the room. ‘Mrs Harding says I may stay here, with her, if you’ll let me. She says she’ll teach me
to ride a pony. Do say you’ll let me, Mam.’
Miriam rested her hands lightly on the boy’s shoulders. Kitty felt Miriam watching her face. Softly, she said, ‘Please say yes, Kitty. It would mean a great deal to me.’
There was nothing Kitty could do, today of all days, except nod her agreement but the look of adoration on Johnnie’s young face as he gazed up at Miriam turned Kitty’s blood to
ice.