Certain Sure (18 page)

“You’re really good here,” Fin said. He stood close behind her. Not as near as he had been earlier, but too close for Katie.

“Save your compliments for someone who wants them,” she said in a quiet voice. “I’ve had my fill of you and your kind.”

Fin removed his hand and stepped aside as Katie rushed into the kitchen, where Mike got ready to leave and Manny washed dishes. As she took off her apron, Fin appeared next to her.

“What the hell is your problem?” he asked in a fierce whisper. Katie stared at him, his Dunbar look in full force. She burst out laughing. Fin apparently found nothing funny.

“Ask yourself that. I’m carefree, you see.” Katie smiled and handed Fin the apron. “’Bye Mike,” she said to him as he turned to her from where he hung up his apron. She blew him a kiss.

“You’re a heartbreaker, yet,” Mike said with a chuckle. “We miss you.”

Katie waved at him and walked out before she broke down. She missed them and the pub too. She didn’t look at Fin and he didn’t follow. Rose ran to Katie and hugged her when she approached. Mary gathered their things. Katie’s head ached again, but she forced a smile.

“Have a good time?” Katie asked.

“We missed you,” Rose said.

“Me too,” Katie said as they walked out.

When Katie trudged in the side door at home after dropping Mary and Rose off, she sighed. Her dad sat alone in the family room, aimlessly flipping through the channels.

“That you, Mavis?” he said.

“No, it’s me,” Katie answered, putting her purse down and walking over. “Did you need something?”

“Nothing from you,” he said.

“Where’s Mom?” Katie ground her teeth, trying to control her temper.

“At a meeting over at Mrs. Knight’s. She should be home any minute.”

“I’ll go up if you don’t need me.”

“You do that. I don’t need a daughter who turns my employees against me. Never thought to fire Mike, but…” he stopped.

Katie drew in a breath. Surely he didn’t mean it. He was only trying to get a rise out of her.

“You do what you need to do, Dad.”

“Don’t care about anyone but yourself, do you, girl?”

Katie noticed the TV, stopped on a rerun of “I Love Lucy.” She blinked and glanced at her father, who sat with his arms crossed. In the grey light, she couldn’t see much, but she knew his expression well enough. She wished she could laugh at him as she had Fin earlier, but she couldn’t. If she laughed, she would cry too.

“That’s right, I’m a heartless bitch. Maureen and I are quite a pair.” Katie walked away, her head high. Her dad struggled to get up from the couch. A crutch crashed to the floor and he swore.

“Don’t bring your sister into this. Get back here, girl! I’m not through!”

“I am. Goodnight.” Katie strode out and into the hall. Her father shouted as her mom came in and tried to calm him. Katie went upstairs. She padded into her room and locked the door.

Katie spent time the next morning listening for her parent’s comings and goings so she wouldn’t run into either of them in the hall. As Katie sat in her room, her mom knocked on the door.

“Katie, aren’t you coming down for breakfast?”

“I’ll get something later.” Katie didn’t hear anything, but she could see her mom sigh and walk downstairs shaking her head as if she watched her. She thought about calling Aunt Aleen. She sometimes stayed there when her dad got mad at her. Knowing Mr. Dunbar lived there now stopped Katie from asking. She couldn’t picture him in her aunt’s two-bedroom cottage. He would envelop the space. There wouldn’t be room for anyone else.

Though she hadn’t heard from Fergus about the job, he said it might take a few days to finalize plans, she started going through all her things as a preliminary to packing. She was so organized there wasn’t really anything to do except look at her clothes, trying to decide if her favorite blue sweater needed to be thrown out or if her two suits would be enough. Then she pulled out the box with her favorite childhood toys: two “My Friend” dolls, a well-worn brown teddy bear, a white blanket, and a child’s tea set in a wicker basket. Rose might like to play with the tea set. She examined the pot, pink roses on the sides, and the tiny cups, but she felt an ache.

Closing her eyes, she drew in a quick breath as she saw the flash of a baby girl in a white christening gown, a shock of black hair on her tiny head, light eyes peering at her, her tiny self nestled in Katie’s arms. Katie could almost feel the warmth of her, and the closeness of the man next to her. She didn’t see him, but she knew in that split second he was there, his arm around her as he gazed at the sweet baby, their baby. Katie stood, knocking the tea set to the ground.

“Oh!” she said, picking up the cups and pot, unharmed, and placing them carefully back into their spots in the basket. Her hands shook a little as she put everything back in the box. “You’re going crazy, Dillon,” she whispered to herself with a laugh.

It means nothing, she told herself as she walked downstairs, yet Katie couldn’t help remembering that her two previous flashes had already happened. Maybe Maureen would be having another baby, one with her grandpa James’s dark hair and grandma Mary’s eyes, and Katie would be the godmother. Yes, that would explain it nicely, except the pit in Katie’s stomach disagreed.

When she got downstairs, her dad sat reading the paper in the living room as she passed by, but he didn’t look up. She made herself breakfast. Katie wondered where her mom was, but wasn’t curious enough to approach her dad. After she ate, she cleaned up and called Fergus to ask why she hadn’t heard anything from him about her new job.

“Don’t worry,” Fergus said after they’d exchanged pleasantries. “Everything will work out. As I said before, the business is in flux, but we’ll have something soon.”

“If anyone but you said that, I’d be suspicious.”

Fergus chuckled. “You know I won’t let you down.”

“I know. Maureen and Rose well?”

“Yes, we’re all fine, thanks. Looking forward to seeing you Sunday.”

“Sunday?”

“Didn’t anyone invite you?”

“For what?” Katie twisted the phone cord around her fingers.

“We’re all supposed to have lunch at my mom’s. I guess she and Rose forgot to ask you last night.”

“Maybe I’m not invited.”

“Of course you are. Be there at noon and bring your swimsuit.”

“Will Fin be there?” She untangled the cord and gripped the phone.

“Doubt it. My dad and Aleen are coming.”

“Oh. See you then, thanks.”

“No problem,” Fergus said. They said goodbye and hung up. Katie frowned. Even though it was Fergus, she was still leery. Crossing her arms across her chest to keep from biting her nails, Katie walked into the living room.

“Excuse me,” she said to her dad, who was hidden behind the Chronicle. “Did you know we’re all invited to Mary’s for lunch on Sunday? That was Fergus on the phone.”

“Yes,” he said, turning a page. “We’re not going.”

“Why?”

“Aleen and James will be there. I won’t support this nonsense. He made his choice.”

“And that’s that? Maybe if you hadn’t lied when he came to get Aunt Aleen in New York before he married Mary, he and--”

“Miss Know It All. You know nothing.” He glared at her as he lowered the paper. Katie met his eyes. He put up the paper. The doorbell rang so Katie went out to see who it was. Katie wanted to slam the door in his face, but he walked in as if nothing had happened, saying hello and going into the living room. Now her dad set down the paper.

“Michael,” he said. “Glad you could stop by.”

“Wanted to see how you’re recovering.” Michael shook her dad’s hand. “Mavis here?”

“No, she went to the library with a neighbor. Won’t you sit down? Would you like something to drink?” Her father was all smiles for Michael.

“No, thanks.”

“Michael’s leaving next week,” her dad said. “Couldn’t get a refund on your honeymoon tickets.”  Katie nodded as both men studied her. “He suggested maybe you’ve been nervous about a big wedding. If you wanted to elope, your mother and I won’t mind.”

“Is that what he told you?” Katie smirked.

“It’s a nice day,” her dad said. “Why don’t you two go out on the back swing and talk?”

Michael stood and said goodbye to her dad before following Katie. She led him out the front door. There was no way she would sit on the back patio swing with Michael. The spot was too special to her. It was where she finally believed the man in her visions was Fin. Even though her dreams of Fin were all shoved back into her childhood fantasies box, she wouldn’t muddle it up with Michael.

“We can talk here,” she said, motioning to the chairs on the front porch as she shut the door behind them.

“Our last conversation here didn’t go well. Fin hiding somewhere?”

“I don’t need Fin to tell you I won’t take you back and you need to leave.”

“Katie, give us another chance. What difference does it make who I’ve dated? Do I ask about your old boyfriends?”

“Maureen is my sister. If you can’t see the difference--”

“And Fergus is your brother in law.”

“So? I never dated Fergus.”

“But you wanted to.”

“No, who told you that?” Katie studied him. “Maureen? It doesn’t matter. This whole thing makes me sick. You need to leave.”

“I don’t make you sick,” he said, pulling her into his arms. Katie sighed and closed her eyes. Her body went weak. She felt the man of her visions holding her, felt him kiss her. But it was Michael. It couldn’t be Michael.

“No,” Katie said as he held her, whispering in her ear. “You need to leave.” She tugged his arm and turned to walk him to his car. Fin leaned against the door of his truck with the Dunbar look, murderous.

“Katie, we can…” Michael said as they walked to his car.

“Thanks for coming by,” Katie said in a loud voice. Michael glanced at her, a puzzled look on his face. When they reached his car, he faced her. She reached up, pulled him to her, and kissed him, channeling all her anger and frustration at him and Fin into it. “That was goodbye,” she whispered before giggling at the stunned look on his face. Fin’s car door slammed and his car sped away.

“Katie, that was--”

“I know, but it wasn’t for you. It’s not you. ‘Bye.” She strode back into the house, leaned against the door, and inhaled a deep breath. Her flashes were not of Michael. They could be, but she wouldn’t let them be. She marched into the living room. Her father looked up at her.

“Well?” he said, putting the paper down.

“Listen carefully, Patrick Dillon: I am not marrying Michael. I want to work at the pub and I would do a great job and you’ll be sorry to lose me. I can leave now if you want.” Katie watched her father. His face flushed an angry purplish hue.

“Your mother wants you to stay until you have a new job,” he said, picking up the paper and snapping it out in front of him. Katie shrugged and walked out.

When her mom returned, they made small talk as they prepared a late lunch. Katie then ate alone in the kitchen, by her choice, while her mom ate with her dad in the living room. Katie supposed she should go easy on her dad right now since he wasn’t used to being almost confined to the house. Still, they’d always a contentious relationship. It didn’t help that they spent more time together now. After lunch, Katie told her mom she would take a drive and not to expect her back that night. Katie packed an overnight bag and went out.

She drove into downtown Menlo Park, parked and walked around, ending up in Kepler’s Books, where she browsed for almost two hours. Then she drove out to 280 and cruised up, enjoying the speed and the views, so much more pleasant, lined with trees and hills, than most other freeways. She found herself, once she headed south again, exiting near the Dunbars’. Normally, Katie would eat out and go to her aunt Aleen’s, but she couldn’t afford to do the former and felt uncomfortable with the latter.

Maggie and Mary were happy to see her, as usual, and invited her to stay as long as she wanted. After dinner, Mary asked Katie to tell her what bothered her, so she did, minus the parts about Fin and her flashes. Mary listened before saying, as Fergus had: “Everything will work out.”

Katie sighed. It was nice to hear, even if she had a hard time believing it. As she lay in the bed of what used to be Fin’s room, Katie felt his presence, as she did so often lately. She wanted to believe he was the man in her flashes, but it could be Michael. What if she was somehow making the wrong choice? Katie wasn’t used to following her heart, her instincts, her intuition, or whatever these crazy flashes were, and she tossed and turned for a long time, trying to make sense of it all. But nothing made sense and she wasn’t sure she could accept that. At least with Michael, things were clear.

The next day was so bright and breezy, Katie happily spent the whole time helping Mary in the garden, talking, and lying on the springy grass under the wide oaks while Mary read. Katie had called her parents and left them a message so they would know where she was so she was surprised to come home that evening to an empty house and a note saying they were out at the pub. Maybe they went to have dinner, Katie thought with a shrug.