Certain Sure (11 page)

“Katie!” Fin shouted, bursting out the door. Katie bit her lip and faced him. She closed her eyes a second. The sight of him was too much for her. “I can’t find the accounts book. Have you seen it?”

Katie’s cheeks burned. She couldn’t lie outright. “Yes, I was bringing it home to ask my dad something.”

“Oh, what?” Fin asked with a knowing glimmer in his eyes.

“About the vendors. I noticed he’s getting overcharged by a couple. I’ve been looking into it.” Katie pulled out the book and papers as if to show him proof. He took them from her.

“I know. I was going to take care of it. You’re not the only one who notices things.”

Katie swallowed. She needed that book to finish what she’d started. “Couldn’t I have it until the morning?” Katie met his eyes; he scrutinized her.

“Okay, I’ll stop by to pick it up in the morning. On second thought, can you bring it to Mrs. Knight’s? She’ll get it to me.”

“Sure, thanks Fin.”

“’Night.” He waved and jogged back into the pub. Katie exhaled and edged into her car. He probably didn’t want to see her ever again. Fin was sorry they’d made love.

But Mrs. Knight was right. Her father at least needed her, even if he didn’t know it.

After a quiet breakfast with her parents the next morning, Katie took her bag and told her parents she was going for a walk. She trotted across the street to Mrs. Knight’s, bouncing slightly as she waited for her to answer the door.

“Good morning, Katie,” Mrs. Knight said as she stood next to the open door.

“Good morning. Fin asked me to leave this with you.” Katie handed Mrs. Knight the book.

“Yes, thank you. I’ll be sure he gets it. I’m sorry, would you like to come in?”

“No, thank you.” Katie could smell coffee and bacon--Mrs. Knight must be having breakfast. “I’m going for a walk.”

“Happy Birthday, Katie.”

“Thanks. ‘Bye.”

Mrs. Knight waved before shutting the door. Katie walked down the path and glanced around. Roses bloomed in yards, lawns green with grass, trees--plum, oak, and sugar maple--stood tall, their leaves rustled in the near summer breeze. Houses--whites, blues, and greens--trim and neat, set back from the street. Katie took a deep breath. How could she move? She loved this little street in her serene neighborhood where she had lived since she could remember. She loved their house, Mrs. Knight’s house, the Drews’ down the street. She walked.

“Katie, Rose and Mary called while you were out,” her mom said as Katie came in the side door. She had a tray set to bring to Katie’s dad. “They’ve invited us for a tea party. Mr. Drew’s coming to play checkers with your dad while we’re out. What’s that look for? I thought you’d be excited. Rose surely is.”

“Sorry, I’m tired, I guess.” Soul-crushing heaviness sludged through her.

“I know things aren’t going how you planned. Maybe you should’ve stayed at your job another year like you said. I thought…” Her mom gripped the tray as her voice trailed off.

“It’s okay. It was my choice. Do I have time to rest before we go?” Katie’s mom nodded.

Katie trudged upstairs. She lay in her bed, tears falling into the pillow Fin had lain on. Once again, her wish had come true, but not the way she’d intended. Curling up, Katie felt small and helpless, like Mrs. Knight’s new kitten. Katie wanted to plan and control, but she failed. She had given herself completely to Fin and found she was only another quick toss for him. Her father was right. Act cheap and you’ll feel cheap. She used to roll her eyes at him for such a saying. But it was true and now she was less. She’d given something priceless away to someone who threw it in the nearest trash can.

A few hours later Mary, Katie’s mom, and Katie sat in wicker chairs on the patio at the Dunbars’, relaxed by the warm sun and Rose’s cheerful chatter as they ate tea sandwiches, sipped iced tea and munched on buttery scones.

“Grandma Mavis, come in my room with me?” Rose said, giggling. Mary and Katie’s mom smiled. She followed Rose into the house.

“Thank you for having us over,” Katie said.

“You’re welcome,” Mary said. “You will be here tomorrow for dinner, won’t you? It will be only the family, but I’m sure Maureen and Fergus would like to see you and I think Rose has a surprise planned for you.”

“She’s sweet. I hope she’s not putting you to any trouble about it.”

“Nothing for you would be a trouble. James and I love you as if… you’re very dear to us.”

“Thank you, I feel the same.” Katie looked out at the roses, drooping in the late afternoon heat. “Is Mr. Dunbar in his study?”

“No, he has a standing date with a friend,” Mary said. The image of Mr. Dunbar and her aunt flashed in Katie’s head. She glanced at Mary, who gazed out at her yard. “I’m glad the pub is closed tomorrow so Fin can join us. I haven’t seen him since…how is he?”

“Busy,” Katie said. “He works every shift at the pub and I believe the rest of his time fixing up the cottage at Mrs. Knight’s.” And bedding women.

“Your mom mentioned that. We look forward to tomorrow. Any big plans this evening?”

“No,” Katie said with a weak smile. Mary patted her hand.

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing the right thing. You’re a good daughter. You don’t need to prove it by marrying who your dad chooses. He doesn’t always know best,” Mary said. Her eyes were soft with sadness.

“I…are you happy? I’m sorry, it’s none of my business.” Katie watched Mary, her face paling.

“I’m content. But you have the Dillon spirit, Katie. Content won’t be enough for you,” Mary said with a smile. “I wonder what’s taking Rose so long. Shall we?” She rose from her chair. Katie followed her in.

“Happy Birthday, Katie girl!” her aunt Aleen said, breezing in the side door of the kitchen that evening. “I’m here to take you out to dinner.”

Katie smiled. How beautiful her aunt was and what a louse Katie felt for thinking she was with Mr. Dunbar earlier. Her aunt wouldn’t have an affair with a married man. She didn’t need to, either. She could get nearly any man she set her mind on. Katie had seen proof of that.

Out they went, after kissing her parents goodnight. Knowing her aunt, they’d be late. Aunt Aleen drove into Palo Alto and parked at her house. They walked over to a nearby restaurant. The waiters treated her aunt like royalty and Katie felt some of that glow, the reflected glory of her stunning, charming aunt. By the end of dinner, Katie realized some of that glow came from the two bottles of wine they’d had, Katie drinking her fair share for once.

They supported each other out, giggling down the street like two preteen girls, bursting out laughing as they entered her aunt’s house. Katie didn’t remember what was so funny. As Katie hung her sweater on the hook by the door, she noticed a familiar scarf, a man’s scarf. She picked it up, studied it, measured the soft weight of it in her hand. Her aunt came out of the kitchen and stopped on seeing Katie.

“What happened to the smile?”

“This.” Katie held out the scarf. “It’s Mr. Dunbar’s, isn’t it? I helped Rose pick it out for his birthday last month.”

“Yes.”

“Oh my God. I thought I was so wrong for thinking…Mary knows, doesn’t she?”

“Yes.”

“Am I the last to know? Can’t tell Katie girl anything, can we?” Katie paced the hall.

“No, Fin, Maureen, and Fergus don’t know. Maybe your parents suspect, but…Katie, please don’t look at me like that. You don’t understand. There’s so much you don’t know.”

“Because no one will tell me! I bet Maureen knows, she’s the one who told me about dad’s cheating, but I wouldn’t believe her.”

“She knows that because she was living at home then. I love your sister, but it takes a liar to know a liar.” Her aunt grasped her arm.

“Then you two should know all about each other. I hate all of you.”

“You don’t mean that. Come sit with me. I have a lot to tell you.”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses.”

“Not excuses, Katie, only my story. Will you listen? Please?” her aunt said, tears coursing down her cheeks, the bloom gone. Katie’s stomach fell.

“Okay.” She followed her aunt to the living room. “But I need a stiff drink.”

“Me too.” Her aunt poured them a couple whiskies. “This is how it started,” Aunt Aleen said, holding out the glass.

Chapter Ten

After almost an hour of listening, tears streamed down Katie’s cheeks. “My dad and Mary were in love? Childhood sweethearts? I had another sister? Mary…is that who he cheated with when I was little?”

“No, Katie. Mary wouldn’t do that. They were over long before he married your mom. Nothing was the same after Seamus and little Maura died.”

“This is too much. Seamus was my dad’s older brother? And you were married?” Her aunt nodded. She’d told Katie the story, but Katie had to repeat the facts, trying to understand. “You and Mr. Dunbar fell in love after the accident? Was it an accident or was my dad drunk?”

“An accident. Your dad’s suffered enough. He lost his brother and daughter in one horrible night. And Mary too, in a way. I know it’s a lot to take in, but please try.”

“How can you all face each other?”

“We do what we have to. I’m trusting you with this because you saw James and me. I knew how it would trouble you. I knew you wouldn’t be able to let it go until I told you. It doesn’t matter now. Dun broke it off today.”

“Why bother now?” Katie said. Her aunt and Mr. Dunbar in love. For over thirty years. A twenty-year affair, right in front of them all. Yet only Mary knew.

“He doesn’t want to affect Rose and he’s tired of sneaking around,” Aunt Aleen said in a resigned tone.

“What about Mary, Fergus, and Fin? He didn’t think he was hurting them?”

“Did you listen? Mary has known, always. She encouraged him to come to me. They’ve had separate rooms since before Dun and I found each other again.”

“What about all your boyfriends?”

“That was for show.”

“My mom knows all this?”

“Most of it, yes, the parts that affect her.”

Katie stood, pacing. “Doesn’t everything affect us all? We’re family.” She drank her whiskey. It burned her throat, but the pain was nothing to the ache in her limbs, the horrible throbbing in her head. Her aunt had visions too, like Katie, and she’d used them to justify her affair. As Katie’d thought, dreams and visions couldn’t be trusted.

“Dun and I didn’t know Fergus and Maureen would marry.”

“Why didn’t he divorce Mary?”

“She begged him not to. You know her beliefs.”

“I feel sick,” Katie whispered.

“We should both go to bed.”

“Thanks for trusting me.” Again Katie felt God played a cruel joke, giving her what she wanted, but not. Her aunt kissed her cheek and weaved up to her room. Katie poured herself another drink. Fin, Fin, Fin, his name hammered in her mind. She had to go. She hadn’t brought anything with her.

“Hello?” Katie said, having to think hard to find words to say into the phone when she called the pub. “Fin?”

“Yes?”

“Katie. I need a ride.”

“Where are you?”

“Aunt’s.”

“Aleen’s? I think her address is here somewhere, hang on.”

Papers shuffled, a little distant, especially with the pounding in her head.

“Okay. I’ll be there in ten minutes,” he said before hanging up.

Katie stumbled out the front door turning to make sure she had shut and locked it. She sat on the stoop, her knees pulled up with her head on her arms. The flash of headlights caused her to lift her head, squinting. Fin’s truck pulled into the drive. She stood, walked to Fin, and climbed into the cab as he held the door for her. She sat watching him as he made his way back to the driver’s seat. She couldn’t stop looking at him.

“Aleen take you out?” he asked as he drove toward El Camino Real. Katie nodded.

“She told me about her past, my parents’ past.”

“Oh. Are you okay?”

Katie shook her head, wiping her cheeks. Her parents, Aunt Aleen, and the Dunbars had shared whole other lives, been different people, loved…Katie gripped her forehead.

“It was all a long time ago, right?” Fin said. “I don’t suppose it matters anymore.”

“You’re still mad at your dad for things past.”

“I can’t stand when my father gives me a hard time when his behavior hasn’t been so great, either. I’m single. I’m not hurting anyone.”

Katie almost laughed. He’d cut her so deep, she still bled. “Do you know about your dad?”

“Know what?”