Celeb Crush (42 page)

All the blood drains from my face.  How does Kat know…? 

Oh. 

Jessica.  The same person who I’m sure has been tipping the press off.   She set me up.  They set me up.

Luke is frowning at Kat, confused.  “What the hell are you talking about?  Andi’s never even met my mom.”  He turns back to me and sees my face.  His expression changes.  “…right?”

I cringe.  “Um.”

He's completely focused on me now, head cocked to the side and muscles tensed, body braced for a blow.  His eyes seem to burn gold in the dimly lit parking lot as he stares at me with laser intensity.   "Tell me," he orders, his voice pitched dangerously low.

“It’s not what you think,” I say in a rush.  “Yes, I went to see her—for
you
.  I was trying to…” 

I trail off, glancing at Kat and wondering how much she knows.  I decide to keep quiet.  Now is not the time to reveal ugly family secrets.  But Luke is looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to finish.  I try not to look too shifty-eyed as I wrack my brain for a plausible explanation.

“I, uh, gave her tips on how to foster a closer relationship with you,” I say lamely.

“Yeah?  How?”  Luke raises both eyebrows at me.  “By convincing her to write a book about me?”

I visibly blanch.  “Convince is such a strong word.  Inaccurate, even.  Look, I—”

“Why don’t you just tell him the truth, Andi?” Kat’s cuts me off, her voice like acid.  Her blue eyes are pure arctic winter as she glares at me.  “You can’t stand for Lucas to have relationships with other women who are important to him!  That’s why you tried to destroy his relationship with his own mother.  That’s why you threatened me to stay away from him.  Lucas is right; you are crazy.  You’re psychotically jealous, and controlling—and you’re scared that the people who care about him are going to expose you for the fake you are!”

Again, I’m shocked into silence…because her words kind of hit home.  It’s everything I’ve tried to suppress myself from doing.  Have I failed?  I glance at Luke, and catch him looking at me like I’ve just sprouted an extra appendage.  My chest constricts painfully at the doubt clear in his eyes.

I swallow nervously, my throat making a dry clicking sound.  “That’s not true,” I say hoarsely.  “It wasn’t like that, Luke.”

He paces away from me to return to Kat’s Mercedes, slumping back against the driver’s side door for support.  “Exactly what was it like then, Andi?” he demands to know.  “Why didn’t you tell me you went to see her?”

“Because I knew you’d be mad!  I was going to tell you.”  Eventually.  “Look, this is being blown way out of proportion!  Why are you even listening to
her
, anyway?  Do we not remember the time she faked a pregnancy scare?!  And—how does she even know I went to see your mom?”

I turn my scowl on Kat who seems to burn with the fury of a thousand sanctimonious suns.  She opens her mouth to answer—but a familiar voice beats her to the punch.

“I told her.”

Jessica emerges from the shadows like an evil bird.  The harsh yellow parking lot lights play across her sharp features, making them seem especially pronounced and demonic.  She strides up to our little group, her mouth set in a grim line.

Alarm bells are going off in my head at her strategically-timed appearance.  Meanwhile, Kat looks thrilled to see her co-conspirator.  She surreptitiously shoots me a small smile.  If smug looks could talk, hers would be screaming “Yahtzee, bitch!”

“I apologize for overstepping, Lucas…but when it comes to Andi, you just won’t listen to reason,” Jessica is saying in her smooth cultured voice.  She throws me a disparaging look.  “She’s more clever and patient than most, I’ll give her that.  I asked Kat to help me expose this girl for who she really is.  She is going to destroy your career—everything you’ve worked so hard for.”

Luke abruptly straightens, looking between the three of us with a terse expression.  “What the hell are you talking about?”

I listen numbly as Jessica details my traitorous exploits to Luke.  They all have a ring of truth to them—but they sound really bad when she puts a sinister spin on everything.  Like having Ivan hire a private investigator to go after Amber Lynn, blackmailing Micah that
one
time, and that thing at that Victoria’s Secret party (which, by the way, how did she find out I was behind that?  And, also—I knew those few drunken moments would come back to bite me in the ass!)

The list is apparently endless.  Luke and I face each other like strangers who have just woken from an intense shared dream.  The dawning anger and betrayal on his face kills me.  He believes them.  I want to die.

I force myself to shatter that charged silence between us.  A laugh tinged with desperation flies out of me.  “You can’t seriously think I’m out to get you,” I say.  Even I can hear the pleading undercurrent in my words.

“Is any of it true?” Luke asks, voice rough with emotion.  I stare up at him wordlessly.  “Is it?!”

I flinch.  Panic has a chokehold on me, and my shoulders rise and fall with each shallow breath I take.  I fist the material of his shirt in my hand, clutching him close and silently willing him to believe me.   “Just let me explain, okay?  I swear, you’re gonna laugh.  You know me—”

He pulls sharply away.  “I thought I did,” he mutters with a grim shake of his head.  He walks away, his posture stiff and unforgiving.

A strangled sound escapes me.  I wrap my arms around myself, hunching over slightly from the pain.  “I wouldn’t do that to you,” I say desperately.  “You believe me right?”   Please say you do.

He doesn’t answer.  I need to fix this.  I need to go to him and make him listen to me.  But my feet are rooted to the spot and my mouth can’t seem to form the words.  This can’t be happening.  This can’t be real.  He can’t…

Kat steps in while I’m frozen like a deer in the headlights.  She lightly touches his chest.  “Come on,” she says gently, tipping her face up to his.  “Let’s go.”

He just stands there for a few seconds, not saying anything—and hope rises in me like fragile soap bubbles.  But then he relents, allowing her to pull him back to her car.

“Wait!” I finally manage to choke out.  “I-I love you.”

Luke stops in his tracks.  He turns slowly to face me, an incredulous look on his face.  I gulp as he stalks back to me; now coldly furious.

“
Now
you say that to me?!” he grinds out, leaning over me so that his face is just inches from mine.  “How the fuck am I supposed to believe you after all the shit you’ve hidden from me?!  Were you ever going to tell me about any of it?”

“You don’t understand!”  I try again.  I’m shaking from head to foot.  “It’s not what it sounds like.  I swear to you—I can explain everything.”

“Yeah…you know what?  Save it.”  Luke shakes his head with a bitter laugh.  “I’m done listening to you.”

With that, he turns his back on me, heading back to Kat, who is anxiously watching us from behind the wheel of her Mercedes, half-leaning out of the open door.

No, no, no.  This isn’t happening.  It doesn’t even feel real.  Luke wouldn’t walk away.  That’s my job.

“You can’t leave!” I call after him, disbelieving.

He pauses, standing by the open passenger door.  “You know what’s so messed up?  I thought the problem was getting you to trust me.  I never thought I wouldn’t be able to trust
you
.”  He turns away.

I can feel it happen.  That link—the compelling but tenuous connection that made me sense his presence before he entered a room, and had me waking up every morning feeling like it’s Christmas—is abruptly severed.  And now we’re just two broken people with not enough working parts between us to form one fully functional being.

He climbs in the Mercedes, slamming the door shut behind him.  I watch them go, and he doesn’t look back once.  They turn a corner and disappear out of sight.  And I’m still standing there, trying like hell to wake up from this nightmare.

I probably would have stood there all night waiting for Luke to change his mind, and come running back to me, but I sense movement to my left.

It’s Jessica.  She stays out of arm’s reach and regards me cautiously.  “I told you that you were out of your depth,” she says in a pitiless tone.

I barely spare her a glance.  “He’s going to figure it out.  And then he’s going to make sure you never work in this business again.”

“It’s your word against everyone else’s, Andi.  I warned you about making enemies in this town.”

I suddenly feel tired and waterlogged.  Turning my neck is a chore.  “He’ll understand when he talks to his mom.  She’ll tell him what really happened.”

“And why would she do that?”  Jessica raises an eyebrow, smirking slightly.  “That woman literally thinks you’re the worst person in the world.  She’d rather eat live baby crocodiles, standing naked in rush hour traffic, than see you with her son.  Her words, not mine.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I deny stoically.  “He didn’t mean what he said.  He was drunk.  I’ll tell him everything tomorrow.  He’ll believe me, I know it.”

“I think you’re overestimating his faith in you,” she says gently.  Then she sighs.  “I know actors, and they are a paranoid bunch—especially the young ones who’ve had a meteoric rise to fame like Luke.  You may think he’s different, but deep down he’s just a scared little boy, waiting for someone to turn around and betray him.”

I barely register what she’s saying.  There is a roaring sound in my ears that only seems to grow louder.  “Jessica,” I say, vaguely noticing how distant my voice sounds, like it’s coming from far away. 

“Yes?”

“Why aren’t you running?”

Chapter 35

I wake up on the sofa, stiff and disoriented.  I slowly sit up, and the bright sunshine streaming in through the windows hits me like a punch in the face.  I cower away like a vampire.  What time is it?  My body seems swollen to me, and my hair is an animal that gave up and died on my head.  It hurts to breathe.

I check my phone.  It’s ten in the morning, and I have no missed calls and no texts.  I shoot to my feet, ignoring my protesting muscles, and run to the bedroom.  There’s no sign of Luke—no indication that he’d come back last night.  I slump bonelessly to the ground.  Did he spend the night with
her
?  The thought is nauseating.

I perform the daily tasks of living robotically.  A hot shower helps the aching muscles, but I still feel so, so tired when I get out.  Exhausted, but strangely aware—like I’ve been awake for days, surviving on caffeine pills.  Last night’s events keep playing over and over again in my head like a bad movie, too melodramatic to be real.  I won’t even let myself be angry because I’m not entirely convinced it happened.  Not to me.  Not with Luke.  He swore he’d never hurt me.

When I get tired of staring alternately at the door and the phone in my lap, I decide I need to leave.  I head down to the zoo, and plant myself in front of my favorite exhibit.  I pretend to watch the chimps inspecting each other for goodies, but deep down I know what I’m really doing there.  I’m waiting for him to find me.

He doesn’t come.  After another sleepless night with no word, I go back to my bench and my unsympathetic primates.  My phone is clutched in my sweaty little hand, and I check it every two minutes to make sure it’s still working.  It hasn’t made a peep since sometime yesterday.  That’s weird, right?  And yet I can’t bring myself to call or text anyone to make sure it’s working.  Because what if it is.

I sit there for so long that I idly start to worry about blood clots.  The top of my head is burning hot to the touch, and a few minutes ago a solemn little boy handed me his sticky lollipop.  I know you’re not supposed to take candy from strangers, but the kid didn’t look too shady.

I sense someone sit down next to me while I’m taking tentative licks.  Bubble gum flavor.   My stomach turns and I drop the sucker on the ground.  I don’t usually litter, but…yeah, most of the time I do.

I stare straight ahead, not really seeing anything.  “Is he in North Carolina?”

There’s a long pause.  “Yeah,” Nate says reluctantly.  “He had to go, Andi.”

I let out a broken gasp.  I knew he had to leave, but I couldn’t help but hope.  Hope is such a bitch.  Why don’t they warn you in school that it’s the most dangerous of all emotions?

I turn to Nate and pretend to not notice when he winces sympathetically.  “Did he ask you to come here?”

He avoids my gaze, dropping his eyes to his sunglasses dangling in one hand.  “He’s really messed up right now, kid.  Right now he doesn’t know who to trust.”

“They set me up, Nate,” I say fretfully.  “Kat and Jessica.  How can he believe them?  He didn’t even give me a chance to explain!”

“I know.  They’re fucking with his head.”  Nate’s expressive face is grim.  He reaches over to squeeze my hand comfortingly.  “Give him a little while to cool off and get his shit together.”

I find myself nodding robotically.  “When’s he coming back?”

He hesitates.  “I don’t know.  You know the shooting schedule—it’s pretty brutal from here on.  But, you know, stay at the hotel as long as you want.  It’s all been arranged.  My dad—”