Celeb Crush (20 page)

This girl right here.  But what am I going to do, slam the door in their faces?  Because that doesn’t work; Bran just keeps knocking and knocking.

So that’s why I’m in the kitchen right now, making popcorn.  I get what Bran is trying to do, but it honestly baffles me how clueless he is.  When we were kids, I thought it was one of his most endearing qualities; later when we going out, I sometimes wanted to kick him repeatedly for it.

Bran comes up next to me while I’m zoning out in front of the microwave.  He didn’t bring his crutches so he’s just kind of hopping around like a lame skater boy with his floppy hair and clueless smile.

“You gonna add some mac and cheese powder?”  he asks, poking through Ellen’s cupboards.  “Meg was just saying how it’s been so long since we ate popcorn like that.  Ever since she got pregnant, we’ve been eating it plain because all that greasy butter makes her sick.”

“That’s fascinating,” I say flatly, and go back to listening to the kernels pop.

“Hey, remember that time at the movies when that drunk guy sitting next to you threw up in your popcorn bucket?”

That’s when I whirl around him.  “Look,” I snarl.  “I’m not really in the mood to stroll down memory lane with you.  Ever.”

“I’m sorry, Andi.  I was just trying to help.”  Bran gazes at me with remorseful blue eyes.  “What can I do to fix this?”

“Why don’t you build yourself a time machine, go back to when you had the thought that the three of us hanging out tonight was a good idea—and kick yourself?  Right up in the ass.”

The microwave dings, so I take out the bag of popcorn.  I dump its steaming contents into a big bowl, and then shove the bowl into Bran’s stomach.  He grabs it, wincing a little.  I didn’t mean to shove it quite so hard.  I guess I’ve become used to abusing Luke so much that I forgot not everyone has his abs of steel.

But I’m not going to think about Luke right now.

“Put whatever the hell you want on it,” I tell Bran.  “I’m going to the bathroom.”

He actually tries to follow me until I glare at him to stay put.  Sometimes I just don’t know about that guy.

My Soul for You is based on a best-selling series of books about a teenager named Sam Langelier who discovers he’s growing a demon inside of him that is slowly eating away at his soul.  He has to decide if he wants to succumb to the beast, and join his fellow demon incubators in launching the apocalypse—or if he wants to try to save what’s left of his soul, and join the girl he loves in the fight against evil.  It’s more blood and sex than you’d usually find in something marketed for teens, but maybe that’s why it’s so hugely popular.  Teens like blood and sex.  Or is that just me?  Also, the cast is beautiful and talented, and the actions scenes are heart pounding. 

Before I met Luke, I could watch his movies over and over—and not just because Megan always wanted to.  But now that I know him, and having been on a few movie sets and witnessed the intricate workings behind every scene—I don’t know.  I tend to focus on the technical aspects of the movie, and think about all the people working their asses off to make that magic happen.  I just can’t get as into it as I used to. 

There’s an intense sex scene going on right now between Luke’s and Kat’s characters.  I can’t watch it—but I can’t stop watching it.  How much of himself does he put into his roles?  Sam Langelier is surprisingly tender and hesitant despite his character’s brusque and dangerous nature.  Luke is…more aggressive.  The gold in his eyes turns molten and shimmery when he’s turned on.  I’m pretty sure he’s turned on in this scene, despite the amount of cameras and crew that I know are lurking on the set at the time.  Probably because Kat is so beautiful, with her pale blonde hair and big luminous blue eyes.  I remember how Bran used to comment that Megan could be Kat’s sister.  I thought he said it to make her happy because she’s so obsessed with Sam and Alexa.  Now I wonder if that wasn’t his stealthy way of telling her she’s beautiful.  Dick.

I don’t want to watch Luke and Kat get it on, but if I turn away from the screen, I see Bran and Megan on the couch, all cuddly and shit.  Megan’s head is resting on his shoulder as he absently strokes her special blonde hair.  Their couple-ness is effortless.  I can’t help but think about how clumsy Bran and I looked when we were together.  We didn’t really fit, and someone (me) was always accidentally smacking a hand away, or kissing an open eye (by mistake).  We would always laugh it off, but I know it bothered him.  So I can’t tell you how happy I am that he found his missing puzzle piece.  Fucker.

Forget it.  Who needs Bran?  Who needs Luke?  I have a sock monkey named Deadeye Jones who understands me better than either of those guys.  I wish I had brought him with me.  He may not talk much, but he can cuddle like you wouldn’t believe.

It’s almost one in the morning, and Bran is asleep.  I forgot how adorable he looks when he’s unconscious.  Almost pretty, with those long sweeping eyelashes and his hair falling over his forehead.  I can’t believe he’s going to be a father.  I didn’t really think to wonder how he feels about the pregnancy.  No doubt he’s thrilled.  He always used to…

Never mind.  Shut up, memories.

I abruptly get up and go into the kitchen.  I decide to make more popcorn since the lovepigs out there inhaled the two previous bags without sharing.  We’ve never been food sharers, none of us. 

Again, I stand right in front of the microwave and listen to the kernels pop their little hearts out, and again I am interrupted.  This time it’s Megan.

“Hey,” she says, clumsily taking a seat at the kitchen table. 

“Hey.”

“It’s so surreal watching the Soul movies now that I’ve actually met Lucas—and, like, had actual conversations with him.”  Megan laughs incredulously, tucking a lock of hair behind one ear.   “He’s exactly how he seems to be in all his interviews.  Like, he’s just so down-to-earth and funny.  I still can’t believe you guys are together!  It’s like a fairytale, or something, huh?”

I shrug half-heartedly.  “Or something.”

Megan hesitates.  She’s dying to bombard me with questions, but she can’t ‘cause we’re estranged.  Ha.  Her gaze slides from mine and lands on Bran—rather the top of his slumped head since that’s the only part visible over the couch.  “I’m sorry about tonight,” she says softly.  “I told Bran it was a bad idea, but he insisted.  He’s just trying to help.  He thinks that if we…if we hung out more and do the stuff we used to do that we can go back to being friends again.  But that’s not going to happen, is it?”

I hold back a sigh.  I really do not want to do this tonight.  I sit across from her at the table and steel myself for The Talk.  I look at Megan expectantly.

She drops her eyes, staring down at her hands resting on the table.  “Can we try to discuss this as calmly as possible?  I can’t get too stressed—it might hurt the baby.”

In other words:  I’m going to tell you about the shitty things I’ve done to you, but you can’t get mad ‘cause I’ll break.  Sounds fair.

“Fine,” I agree with a nod and smile.  I can be pleasant.  “There’s obviously something you want to say to me, so why don’t you just say it?”

Megan grimaces slightly at my sugary tone.  She takes a deep breath and glances back up.  “Okay.  First of all, I really am sorry about what happened.  I never meant to hurt you.  I just…”

She pauses.  I continue to nod and smile, which seems to unnerve her.  But then I’m not here to make it easy for her.  Bravely, she perseveres.

“I always thought of Bran as a kind of brother.  He was always just around, right?  When we all moved into the apartment together, I started realizing what an awesome guy he was.”  Megan smiles tightly.  “Remember when I broke up with Liam?”

I search through my memory, trying to put a face with the name.  “Liam was the soccer playing with the lisp?”

“He didn’t have a lisp, he was Irish.”  She rolls her eyes at me.  “Anyway, remember what a mess I was?  Well, Bran was actually the one who helped me get through it.  He was so sweet.  He’d listen to me whine and cry about everything, and he always knew exactly what to say to cheer me up.  It kind of got to the point where I stopped seeing Liam’s face in my thoughts—and I started seeing Bran’s.”

Megan clears her throat nervously, flicking a look at me to gauge my response.  I continue to smile like I’m a caring talk show host though my nails are digging into my thighs under the table.  I wonder why she thinks I need a play-by-play recount of her betrayal.  But then I am too morbidly curious to stop her.

“So, anyway, it just seemed to work out that we were always alone together.  Nothing happened at first.  We just talked a lot.  I didn’t even realize what was happening until it was too late.  That day—the day we…you know…”

“Yeah,” I cut her off quickly.

“Well, anyway, that day me, Simone, and Ally were going to hang out at Jason’s house.  Bran was at home, playing video games and waiting for you to finish work.  For some reason, I found myself trying to convince Bran to come with us.  He didn’t want to, at first, but then Simone and Ally started in on him, too.  You know they’ve always though Bran was cute.”

I raise my eyebrows at this.  No, I never realized Megan’s friends thought Bran was cute.  Those popular bitches didn’t have much to do with him throughout high school.  At least not when I was around.  But for all I know they could have been having orgies behind my back.  If that’s true, I guess I have some belated bed burning to do.

Kidding.  Damn it, Megan is still talking.

“—you couldn’t even taste the alcohol in them, they were so good!  We all started drinking and hanging by the pool.  Then all of a sudden, Ally pulled me to the side and asked me why I was flirting so hard with Bran.  I was honestly shocked!  I didn’t even realize I had been.  Suddenly it hit me that I was starting to have feelings for him.  I totally freaked.”

Megan smiles softly to herself, lost in her special blonde memories.  In other news: I’m vomiting in my mouth. 

“I lied and said I had a headache so Ally took us back to the apartment. Bran went into your guys’ room, and—I knew I should’ve just gone into mine.  But I didn’t.  I followed Bran and…I don’t know!  We were both drunk, and we started confessing a lot of things to each other—and all these…feelings and emotions came spilling out!”

“We agreed that we couldn’t do anything about it because it wouldn’t be fair to you.  But then I ended up kissing him.”  Megan looks me in the eye.  Hers are shiny with unshed tears.  “I kissed him first, Andi.  I started it.  You know what happened after that.”

“Yes, I do.  Sorry my work let me off early that fateful day.  By the way, how was it?”  I raise my eyebrows at her.  “Don’t give me that look; you seem intent on giving me the full rundown on your little love story, so you might as well include the sex scene.  Hopefully, it’s not as boring as all the other parts.”

Megan flushes.  “Is everything a joke to you?” she says angrily.  “Not that I’d expect that you could understand, but I wanted to explain my side of things!”

“Calm down, Meegles.  Think of the baby,” I remind her.  “I don’t want you to explain to me how it happened.  I want to know
why
you decided it was okay to sleep with my boyfriend ON MY…bed.  And don’t say it was because you were drunk and in love.  I know you better than that.  You thought I didn’t deserve him.”

“You didn’t!  God, Andi, you were so mean to Bran!  Like, I wondered if you weren’t secretly the cause of all those ‘skateboarding’ injuries he always had.” 

I gasp loudly and point a righteous finger in Megan’s face.  “I have never—purposefully—hurt Bran!”

“Oh, really?”  Megan scoffs, narrowing her eyes at me.  “You hurt him every time you made faces whenever he’d kiss you or try to be affectionate with you.  Or snapped at him, or-or ignored him, and treated him like a naughty puppy instead of a boyfriend!”

Naughty puppy, ha.  But I wasn’t that bad—was I?  Hmm.  “Regardless of how you thought I treated him, it wasn’t your business,” I say coldly.  “It wasn’t your relationship.  If you thought I was that bad, why didn’t you talk to me first?”

“Because no one can say anything to you, Andi!  We all have to tiptoe around you because we don’t know what will set you off.  Like setting the bed on fire!  Who does that?!  You don’t think that was a little—I don’t know—psycho?”

I feel a frown tug the corners of my mouth down.  “I waited until you guys were off the bed.  I wasn’t trying to kill y’all.”

Megan’s eyes roll to the ceiling.  She briefly covers her face with both hands, shaking her head.  “You’re cracked—and everyone lets you get away with it because of what happened to your parents.  I’m sick of always having to—”

Megan suddenly claps a hand over her mouth, eyes widening in horror.  I continue to stare at her like she’s an interesting lab experiment.

“I didn’t mean that,” she says in hushed tones.  “Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry, Andi!  I’m such a bitch.  I’m supposed to be apologizing to you and I end up saying all these horrible things instead.”

To my alarm, Megan buries her face in her arms resting on the table, and starts to sob.  Full on weeping, gasping sobs.  I don’t know what to do.  I glance over at the couch but Bran’s head is no longer visible.   I assume he slid sideways, or completely off the couch in his sleep.  Stupid rag doll.

I don’t know what to do, so I don’t do anything.  I think about patting her head—and my hand even hovers inches above her, but then I don’t know if she’ll think I’m treating her like a puppy.  Apparently I do that.  I take my hand back and wait for her to calm down.  I’d give her money if she’d just shut up.