Caught Up in the Drama (10 page)

“What? Naw,” I casually said. “I just—I guess I didn't sleep too well.”

Jasmine cleared her throat and nodded down the hall. I turned to see where she was pointing. Dee and her crew were sashaying toward me. And from the looks on their faces, they were coming to start some mess.

“Okay, we'll let you guys go,” I said too brightly. “You don't wanna be late.”

“Are you sure you're okay?” Xavier asked.

“Yeah, yeah, I'm fine,” I said, pushing him down the hall.

“All right,” he said. “We're out.” They had just walked off when Dee called out to him.

“Xavier!” she said, purring his name.

He stopped and turned around to face her. “What's up, Dee?”

“Nothing much,” she said, stopping in front of him. Of course, she didn't bother to speak to me—or anyone else, for that matter.

“How are you?” She sounded so fake.

“I'm straight,” Xavier said, confused. “Why?”

She shrugged. “I was just wondering how you were holding up.”

He looked back at his boys. “What do you mean?”

“I just thought you'd be a little upset,” she said. She was really enjoying herself.

“Why would I be upset?” He glanced over at me. “Oh, you mean about the video. I'm straight.”

“Come on, Xavier, let's go,” I said, trying to grab his arm to pull him away. I wanted to leave before things got too bad. “I need to talk to you.”

Dee snatched the paper from her friend and thrust it at Xavier. “Upset about this,” she said, flashing the front page of the paper. I wanted to just knock her in her jaw, but I was frozen in place. It had to happen sometime.

“Dang!” Joshua yelled, peering at the paper over Xavier's shoulder.

“I know, huh?” Dee said, all innocently. “Most guys wouldn't be all nice if their girlfriend left them for a rapper.”

“Dee, why don't you go on somewhere?” Jasmine finally said, coming to my defense.

“Okay.” She pushed the paper toward Xavier. “You keep that as a little token. And my number is written at the top in case you need to call me”—she turned her nose up at me—“and vent. I'll be your shoulder to cry on.” I know she didn't even want Xavier. She was just trying to get under my skin.

Dee patted his cheek, then walked off.

Xavier continued staring at the paper, dumbfounded.

“Xavier, I—”

“Did you know about this?” he asked.

“No.” I don't know why the lie was the first thing out of my mouth, but it was.

Just then Joshua reached down in my backpack and snatched out the newspaper I'd stuffed in there. “So then why do you have your own copy?”

I cut my eyes at him.

“So now you his freak?” Xavier said, not taking his eyes off the paper. “And you dumped me for him? When were you going to tell me this?”

“No, it's not like that at all,” I protested.

Xavier read some more of the article, then threw the paper at me and stormed off.

“Xavier, wait.” Frantic, I followed him.

He stopped, spun around and glared at me. “Camille, if you know what's best for you, you will get away from me.”

That look in his eyes was one I'd never seen before.
This could really be the end for us. I hurried down the hall, wanting to speak in private with him.

I finally got him to stop on the side of the gym.

“This is all just publicity stuff, you know, to pump up the album.” I knew I was just rehashing what Taraji had said, even though I didn't believe it myself. But I was desperate to say anything to get through to Xavier.

“Camille, I don't care what it is. This looks really trashy!”

I was starting to get sick of defending myself. I'd told him how I felt.

“Why do you have a problem with what I'm trying to do?”

He gritted his teeth in frustration. “You just don't get it, do you?”

I folded my arms across my chest. Now he was working my nerve, too. “Maybe you just can't handle my fame.”

He stared at me, then busted out laughing. “Your
fame
? Are you serious?”

When I didn't smile, he continued, “You know what, you and your
fame,
and your new boyfriend . . .” He held his hands up to calm himself down. “All y'all can have each other 'cuz I'm out.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means just what I said. I'm done. And this time I mean it.” He started walking off.

“I can't believe you're acting like this,” I said, following him. “You're the one who pushed me to be in the talent show in the first place.”

He stopped and turned around. “If I had known winning would turn you into this diva, I wouldn't have wasted my breath.”

“Oh, so now I'm a diva?”

He paused. “Naw, I take that back. You're a
wannabe
diva. Holla at me when the old Camille comes back.” He looked me up and down with disgust. “That's if she doesn't get lost in the
fame.
”

With that, he stomped off, and this time I didn't try and stop him.

Alexis

I felt like I was in the middle of World War Three. If I wasn't surrounded by fighting and bickering at home, I had to deal with it at school. Now it had crossed over into the only place where I had any peace—my Good Girlz meetings.

Jasmine and Camille were going at it like crazy. Tyeesha had given up trying to referee, and both she and Angel were just staring as Jasmine and Camille went back and forth arguing.

“I don't blame him for dumping you!” Jasmine yelled. “We don't even know who you are anymore!” It had only been three weeks since Camille had won the talent show, and she'd become somebody we didn't even half recognize. After the video release party everybody had been giving her props. She'd been on two TV stations, and the newspaper had done a
feature on her. It was like all of the attention had gone to her head. Even that trashy tabloid story hadn't changed things.

“I can't believe you said that!” Camille responded. “Number one, Xavier didn't dump me. I dumped him. And number two, I'm the same person I was before! You all are the ones that are changing!”

I tried my best to tune them out, but after a few more minutes I had had enough. “Shut up!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. “Would you both just shut up? I'm so sick of this!”

My outburst caught everyone by surprise. They all fell instantly silent, staring at me.

“What in the world is going on in here? Why are you all screaming like you've lost your minds?” Miss Rachel walked in the room, clearly irritated. She looked like she was about to really go off when she took a good look at me. “Alexis, why are you crying?”

I didn't even realize I was crying. I just felt exhausted, because it seemed everybody I loved was at each other's throats.

“I don't know,” I said, feeling drained. “I'm just tired. Everybody is so caught up in this trivial stuff. You know, other people do have things going on in their lives besides videos and stupid arguments,” I spat at my friends. “You guys make me sick!” I stood up and ran out of the room.

Miss Rachel followed me into the hallway. I'm sure everyone was freaking out, because I never had dramatic outbursts. Miss Rachel caught up with me and grabbed my arm. “Alexis, let's go in my office and talk.”

“I don't want to talk.” I was fed up and I wanted everybody to leave me alone. I still hadn't come up with a plan to keep my parents together, and judging from the fact that my
dad hadn't come home again last night, my time was running out. That was the only thing I was concerned about.

“Can you do it for me?” Miss Rachel asked softly.

Since she put it like that, I didn't feel like I had much choice. Maybe talking to an adult would do me good. Maybe she could help me come up with a plan. As I followed Miss Rachel into her office, her husband, Reverend Adams, was just walking out.

“Hi, sweetheart. I put those papers on your desk.” He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

She nodded, then he turned to me. “Hello, Alexis, how are you?”

“Fine,” I mumbled.

They must have done some husband and wife mental stuff, because he said, “I'll keep you in my prayers,” then gently squeezed my hand before walking off.

Miss Rachel took a seat in the chair in front of her desk, then motioned for me to sit down in the one next to her. I did, and she gently took my hand. “You know, Alexis, your journey with the Good Girlz hasn't been easy,” she began. “For all of you. But I'd like to think we've learned some valuable lessons along the way.”

“I have,” I admitted.

“Well, that learning process is never over. To this day, I'm still learning.”

“Learning what?” I asked, surprised by this confession.

“To control my emotions, not let them rule my actions.” An odd look passed over her face. I couldn't quite make it out, and she quickly shook it off and kept talking. “The bottom line remains, I'm a work in progress. So having said that, I think it's really okay for you to blow off a little steam every
now and then. What concerns me is that you are always so good-natured. I'd really like to know what's bothering you to the point of losing it.”

I blew out a long breath as I thought about what Tyeesha had said. “Miss Rachel, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“I remember one Sunday I was watching church on TV and hearing the pastor say that God hates divorce. Does that mean if you get a divorce, God can't forgive you?” I know I was shifting nervously, but I was uncomfortable talking about this.

Miss Rachel smiled. “Well, first of all, we need to talk about you
watching
church and not going to church.” She winked and continued. “But you heard right, God hates divorce. He loves divorced people, though. His love doesn't stop because you do something He doesn't like.”

That was encouraging. “I don't mean to get in your business, but have you ever thought about divorcing Reverend Adams?” I asked. I didn't want to cross into her personal life, but I just needed to feel like I wasn't in this alone.

Miss Rachel was straight with me, like always. “It's no secret to anyone at Zion Hill that I've not only thought about it but even took steps in that direction.”

“Did you ever think about what it would do to your kids?”

“Of course I did. My children love Lester, and they would've been heartbroken if I had divorced him. But I wouldn't have made that decision unless I was sure that in the long run it was better for everyone.” That didn't sit well with me, and she noticed my sour face. “But I don't want to talk about me. I want to talk about you.”

“My parents may be getting a divorce,” I blurted out. “And I've got to come up with a way to stop them.”

Miss Rachel nodded, finally understanding. “Sweetie, you have to trust that everything your parents do will be done in love.”

I just didn't get that. If they loved me, they'd stay together. It was that simple. “Do you think I could've done something differently?” I asked. “Maybe if I had cooperated more, if I didn't get in any trouble, if I had better grades . . .” My voice trailed off.

“Alexis, you have a four-point-zero. How much better can your grades get?” Miss Rachel replied, taking my hand. “And remember, you came to the Good Girlz because you wanted to, not because you had to. You are a wonderful child that any parent would love to have. I don't know your parents' personal business, but I doubt very seriously that you contributed in any shape, form or fashion to their divorce.”

I sighed. I heard what she was saying, but I didn't know if I believed it. One thing I did know—this divorce couldn't happen. And I wouldn't rest until I made sure that it didn't.

Camille

I was so tired of fighting with my friends, but I didn't know what to do. Thoughts of my argument with Jasmine and my breakup with Xavier were eating me alive. But I'd promised Maya that I'd come with her and two other dancers, named Shandy and Keke, to the
America's Next Top Model
auditions at the Galleria Mall. Both Maya and Shandy thought they were shoo-ins for the show.

“Girl, why are you sitting up in here looking like you lost your best friend?” Maya asked.

“What's wrong?” Shandy asked as she walked up behind Maya.

“I'm all right,” I said. I had only talked to Maya that one time I'd been fighting with Xavier, but I remembered how she
had made me feel better. Since I needed to talk to someone about everything I was going through, I thought I might as well talk to someone who understood this business.

“Do you mind if I ask you guys something? How do you all do it, you know, do the video thing and manage your friends and your boyfriend and stuff?”

Shandy giggled. “These are my friends,” she said, motioning to Maya and Keke.

“Yeah,” Maya added. “When you try to hang with people who ain't in the business, it's nothing but drama. I told you that.”

“Not to mention the fact that you have to worry about people being with you just because you're famous,” Keke added.

I thought back to my conversation with Xavier the other day. “I'm hardly famous,” I said. The more I thought about it, the more I realized the whole “fame” comment might have been a bit much.

“Not yet,” Shandy said. “But trust me, you're on your way. Girl, you can sing.”

“And say what you want,” Maya added, “if you're in a Sisco video, you're famous. You might not be superstar status, but you've got a lot more going for you than these other busters.”

Shandy fluffed out her honey brown curly weave. “You just have to be careful,” she said. “Your friends are probably just jockin' you anyway, tryin' to see what they can get.”