Caught on Camera with the CEO (14 page)

And it wasn't all a lie. For she didn't. She didn't want him like this.

‘Y
OU
have to get out of this office, Alex.'

‘You'll just have to manage alone tonight, Renz. I'm sure you can handle it.'

Lorenzo had his hands on his hips. ‘It'll be a good night.'

‘Are we going to settle this the old way?' A hard out physical battle might just be the thing. At least it might wear him out enough to crash.

‘I couldn't do it to you,' Lorenzo grumbled. ‘The way you look, I'd knock you out first punch. Haven't you been sleeping at all?'

Three days. Three long, lonely, bloody miserable days that had dra-a-aged. No, he hadn't slept at all. In his head that row played over and over and over—preventing any kind of wind-down of body or mind.

Could he have been more lovelorn teen? Throwing the most desperate lines at her—‘I won't let you go'—what, like he was going to imprison her?

He wished he could have.

Damn, it still hurt.

She wouldn't give them a chance. She wouldn't let him in.

‘Have you heard from her?'

‘No.'

‘Do you know where she is?'

‘Yes.' He'd had someone track her from the moment she'd left—as awful as that was. He'd never used a private investigator in his life before, but in the last month he'd spent more on one than a footballer's wife spent on botox for a year. ‘But that's not the point.' He wanted her to come back. He wanted
her
to want to. But it looked as if that wasn't going to happen.

Lorenzo stared at him, his eyes darker than the moonless night. ‘You're not going after her?'

‘No.'

Alex sat in the silence after Lorenzo had gone. Eventually acknowledged to himself that he'd lied to his friend. Another lie—this time to try to stop himself from hurting. It hadn't worked. He could wait another day, maybe two, but then he had to go after her. He didn't know what he was going to do when he got to her, but somehow he would win. He checked his phone again, saw the little icon flashing. There'd been many messages now, and he'd ignored every one. But he couldn't ignore it anymore—had to have closure on something at least.

‘Alex?' Patrick answered right away, sounded surprised.

‘Yeah, ah, sorry I haven't got back to you sooner.' Alex grimaced, what was
he
doing apologising? A spurt of irritation heated him, driving his words. ‘Look, I had a great father. He was fantastic. I don't need another.'

Samuel had been there for him, had loved him. He truly was his dad and Alex wasn't going to let anyone take that from either of them.

There was a pause. Patrick cleared his throat. ‘I understand.'

Elbow on his desk, Alex shut his eyes and massaged round them with thumb and middle finger. Was that edge of disappointment genuine?

Yeah, he thought it was—it resonated with the disappoint
ment deep in his own bones. ‘But maybe, um…' his voice failed ‘…maybe I could do with a friend.'

He didn't really know if it was going to be possible. It was a huge chasm between them, a pit of bad history miles wide. But he'd learned from Dani: things were never black-and-white and, hell, it was so hard to tell someone you loved something that was going to hurt them. Every instinct was to protect, as his mother had wanted to protect both him and Samuel—he could acknowledge that now. It didn't make it right, but he understood why people sometimes lied. And he so badly wanted to be given another chance, surely he could offer one himself.

‘That would be great, Alex,' Patrick said quietly. ‘Thanks.'

 

‘I thought you'd have been on a plane back to Oz days ago.'

Dani looked up from where she was staring at the bowl of sugar sachets in the café down by the waterfront. Lorenzo. Looking as unreadable as ever. Although his vibe was definitely one of disapproval.

‘I am. Tomorrow.' She was working up to it. But there'd been one last thing she'd had to do first. Now even that was done.

‘Then you need to go and see him today.'

Dani shook her head. ‘He was doing me a favour because he felt bad about the video thing. He felt responsible. That's all it was.' He was doing what he thought he should. His sense of duty had driven him. And with all the stress he was under, things had got confused. But she was as right for him as an electric blanket was right for a snowman. She'd wanted to get out before he woke up to that fact. She just couldn't handle the heartache.

‘Look, I've known Alex a long time and I've never known him to do something he doesn't want to. He's a smart guy—
he knows what he's doing,' Lorenzo said. ‘I've never known him to move a woman in with him. He could have put you up in a hotel. He could have given you some money and walked away.'

‘He's too meticulous to have done that. He wanted to be sure I was OK.'

‘No. The Alex I know would never have taken a woman to his home in that situation for fear she'd get the wrong impression. He's always been very careful not to lead anyone on.'

Yeah, she knew that—for him it was ‘just sex, just fun'.

‘But it seems you've got the totally wrong impression anyway.' Lorenzo pulled out the chair beside her and sat. ‘I don't like to see my friend hurting. Seems to me you're not that happy, either.'

Dani shook her head. For her it hadn't been just sex. It had been everything. Deep inside her that flicker of hope had refused to be snuffed. Lorenzo's words made it burn brighter than the sun. It took her three minutes to summon up courage to ask him. ‘Do you think he meant it?'

‘I think you need to ask him that yourself.'

Her heart thudded, more adrenalin flooding her than that time she'd been too scared to even blink. Could she ask him?

It was then that she realised just how brave her mother had been—to take the chance, to want to believe, every time. Even if it meant her heart might get squished. She'd always tried; she'd always taken the risk.

Dani had fought so long to be strong. To be independent. But now she saw she hadn't been at all. She was exactly what Alex had said—a coward. Had he been right about other things too?

She thought about Jack—his life had ended way before it should have. Her mother had died too young too. So she had
to take the chance—she had to do it for them—she had to be brave and take life's risks on.

Dani turned to Lorenzo. ‘Can I ask a favour?'

 

Alex worked late again. Left a message for his housekeeper to leave his dinner in the fridge; he'd microwave it later. The little he could be bothered eating tasted no good anyway. After nine, he walked out onto the balcony off his office, not caring about how cold and dark it was out there. Just needed the chill wind to whistle into his ears and blank out the angry voice yelling at him. His angry voice—berating himself for screwing it up so royally. And then the smaller voice wondered how on earth he was going to fix it. Nothing could stop the thoughts. Nothing numbed the pain from the knives twisting inside.

Eventually the freezing air bit hard enough to send him back indoors. He walked faster when he heard his mobile ringing. He picked it up just before it went to the answering machine. ‘What?'

‘Where the hell have you been?' Lorenzo bellowed.

Alex's brows rose and he held the phone a little from his ear. ‘For a walk.'

‘Without your
phone
?' Lorenzo never sounded emotional and here he was practically screeching at him.

Alex iced up inside, as well as out. ‘What is it?'

‘She called me. Wanted to set it up. But she's been there for ages.'

‘Been where?' Damn it, couldn't Lorenzo make sense?

‘Look at your computer—I sent you the link. You're supposed to be slaving at your desk, not getting fresh flipping air.'

Alex clicked the link and watched as the live webcast came on. No way.

‘You'd better get moving, Alex. She's been waiting fifteen minutes already. She probably thinks you aren't coming.'

Alex swore. ‘Why the hell is she in the lift?'

‘It was her idea.'

Alex chucked the phone and ran.

 

Whichever daytime TV shrink it was who said confronting your fears was the way to free yourself needed to see a shrink themselves, because Dani was so not getting over her fears right now. Not any of them. In fact, they were worsening with every passing second. She had visions of herself riding up and down in the elevator for days—slowly starving, leaving only a skeleton for the security men to discover in ten months' time. Never mind the reality that only tomorrow people would arrive for work and find her there—a complete saddo but still alive. No, right now she'd rather indulge in the total drama girl-lost-in-lift-for-ever nightmare.

And when Alex found out he'd wince, hadn't realised he'd hurt her so much—he hadn't meant to, of course…thought she'd understood it was just an
arrangement
. Bed buddies and all that.

Because he hadn't meant it. He didn't want her.

If he did, he'd be here already.

She wiped her eye quickly, outraged that the tear had actually escaped her brimming rims. She never cried. Never, never, never.

Only now there was another tear. And another, and they wouldn't stop.

She turned her back to the damn camera and fished in her pocket. Double damn. No hanky, no tissue. Never necessary because she never cried. So she had to swish them away with her fingers again and sniff.

Ugh.

Now her fingers had black smudges on them because the mascara she'd applied with such excited care was running everywhere.

Great.

The lift wasn't even going up and down anymore. She couldn't be bothered getting up to press the buttons. Instead she just scrunched down, her back against the wall, her feet tucked underneath her. Lorenzo would probably take pity on her some time soon and come and tell her to give up and get out.

Yeah, it had happened. The lift was going up again. She buried her face in her hands, not wanting to see him. Beyond humiliated, beyond scared, she breathed short and fast, trying to hold back the wail that wanted release. If only she could ease the pain.

Large hands grasped her wrists and pulled hard, hauling her out of the lift.

‘Can you breathe? Can you breathe, Dani?'

Alex. Oh, God, it was Alex. She could hardly see him through the tears streaming, but she felt his heat, his strength. She heard him.

‘You're crying.' He sounded shocked. ‘It's OK, honey, you're not in there anymore. You're out of there.' His hands rubbed over her back, pulling her hard against his strong frame. Oh, he was so warm. ‘You're safe, Dani. You're safe.'

She hiccupped. He thought she was upset because she'd been in the lift? ‘That's…that's not why I'm crying.'

His hands slowed on her back, relaxing the pressure, and she was able to pull away enough to tilt her head and look him in the eyes. ‘I thought you weren't coming.'

For a moment she watched as he froze completely—his gaze boring into her. Then she couldn't bear it anymore and buried her face back in his chest. Too bad if he cared—his shirt
was getting a soaking. But his arms clamped around her again—this time so hard she almost couldn't breathe.

‘You lied to me.' He spoke softly, not relaxing his hold even a fraction.

‘You lied to me too.' She closed her eyes but the tears still slipped beneath her lids. ‘I guess the question is why did we lie?'

He slid his hand up her back, threading his fingers into the hair at the nape of her neck, angling her head so she felt his breath skim over her skin.

‘I didn't tell you about finding out about your brother sooner for two reasons,' he said, his mouth millimetres from her ear. ‘One, because I didn't want to hurt you—I knew you'd be upset. And two, I didn't want us to be over. I thought you'd leave as soon as you found out. I've been such an idiot, Dani. I thought we were just a fling. But we're not. We're forever. And I couldn't get that through to you before you left.'

He moved even closer, the warmth of his body melting hers so she leaned into him. His lips brushed her skin now—making her feel every word, as well as hear them.

‘I know you don't believe in romance. You don't believe in love at first sight. But I sure as hell believe in lust at first sight. That's how it was between us. The chemistry just flared. You know that. I thought I was acting crazy because I'd found out about Patrick and needing you was a weird kind of release. But the fact is I'm just not in control about how I feel about you. Haven't been from the moment I laid eyes on you. And the more I got to know you, the more I felt for you, the more I wanted you. Barbs and all.'

‘What do you mean, barbs?' She sniffed.

‘I mean, the cold war concrete-wall, razor-wire, rooftop-sniper defence system you've got going.' His chest moved as he chuckled. ‘But it's not going to work, Dani. Want to know why?'

She moved her head—a shake or a nod, not even she knew which it was.

‘Because I love you. And I'm thinking maybe you love me too.'

‘You think?' Her voice wobbled.

‘You're here,' he said huskily. ‘You've come back to me.'

She had. She nodded for certain then, her fingers curling into his arms, unashamedly clinging to him.

‘When I'm with you, I'm happier than I have ever been,' Alex muttered. ‘You light up my world. It's that simple.'

For a long moment Dani couldn't speak. But when she started she found it was easy. ‘I lied to you because I was scared. I told you I didn't want you because I was scared about the strength of my feelings for you. And I was scared you didn't feel the same.' She took a shaky breath. ‘I didn't want you thinking you were stuck with me. I didn't want to be the charity case that trapped you. I didn't want you to be with me out of pity.'