Caught in the Middle (25 page)

“What’s the plan?” Her gray eyes blinked up at him so trusting.

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m here, just as you requested. What do we do now?”

“Do?” But even as he spoke, his supper turned sour. “I don’t have a plan.”

Her lashes flickered down. She lugged Sammy higher on her hip before continuing. “Then I wish we could’ve talked earlier. We could’ve left Joel behind in Garber instead of coming this far, but that’s all right. I appreciate any help you can give. If you’d run back to the train and get your bag . . . but don’t let Joel see you, of course. We’ll have to hurry. He’ll know we’re missing—”

Nick’s hand immediately rose between them. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Anne. We are taking Sammy to his grandparents in Atoka.”

Her eyes flashed. Her skin flushed. “You mean you consented to this? You’re going to take my child?”

“It’s not that I want to.”

“I thought you understood. I thought you were on my side. This is Finn’s family we’re talking about—strangers to Sammy. I can’t leave him.” Her chest rose in quick hops. “How can you ask me to do this? How could you imagine I would?”

Nick reached for her, but she shied away.

“I wasn’t trying to trick you. I thought you’d come to terms with giving up Sammy. We really have no choice.”

Why did they have to discuss this? They should be bargaining for kisses. Flirting during moonlit walks. Now he was the man who was stealing her child. How much would God take from him in one week?

“That’s it, then?” Anne held Sammy tightly against her. “You came along to guard me. You wanted a hand in taking him from me?”

“I wanted you to have more time with him, and Joel wouldn’t let you come without me. He would’ve taken Sammy away in Garber and made this trip alone if I hadn’t volunteered. Isn’t this better? Wouldn’t you rather be with him?”

“It’s not much consolation.”

“There’s still hope. Miracles do happen. The family could change their minds, or they could meet you and decide they want him to stay with you.” From her short burst of air, he guessed she didn’t think the chances were likely. Well, neither did he. “I know it’s not much to go on, but what else can we do? How can I protest Ian Stanford’s misuse of the law if I’m willing to break it, too? We can’t ignore it when it doesn’t suit us.”

He watched her rock from side to side, her arms wrapped around Sammy. Her old boots emerged from beneath the loose cuffs of her trousers with every sway. She seemed to reach a decision.

“I’m taking Sammy to see the fellas. I suppose you’ll want to come with us.”

Nick trusted her. He trusted her to sacrifice everything she had to keep Sammy safe, but he did not trust her to bring the tot back to the train. He flipped his collar up against the cold wind and followed her to the stable.

Anoli’s sharp black eyes were trained on the door, no doubt expecting Anne even before she walked around the corner. His black braids and the rifles reflected the weak light, but everything else was covered in dust. Fred cradled his bowl of veal, and Tracker dozed against the feed sacks, barely distinguishable from the burlap.

Had they always been this dirty? The first time Mrs. Puckett had washed her coat, Anne protested. Soap introduced scents that weren’t familiar to the animals. Come in upwind of your game, and there’d be no game waiting on you. But once her duster had been cleaned, she hadn’t thought about it again. Her clothes were laundered along with the rest of the household’s. She couldn’t help but steal a glance at Nick. After working in his office, she’d grown accustomed to the finery, but how filthy she must’ve been when he first saw her.

“It’s good you’re back.” Anoli’s strong brow didn’t flinch. “You heard about Finn?”

Anne set Sammy down in the dirt. “Of course. Turns out he lied about his parents. They are alive and in Atoka.”

Sammy took uncertain steps toward Tracker and crashed into him, waking the man. Tracker threw Nick a long look. “Who’s your pal?”

Nobody. Not to her. Not anymore. Wouldn’t take long for Nick’s pretty suit to get spoiled in a tussle out here. One wrong move from him and she’d arrange it. “Just a railroad man who came with me to stretch his legs.”

Anoli studied her like she was storm clouds blowing in. Anne knew she hadn’t fooled the wise hunter.

“The boy’s the spitting image of his pa,” Fred said. “Should do well with the ladies.”

Losing interest in Nick, Tracker lifted Sammy above his head, allowing him to soar. “He’s grown into a fine boy, and now he’s big enough to spoil.” Sammy squealed and dropped a string of slobber on Tracker’s shirt.

“Well, I won’t be the one to do it.” Anne dropped her hands into her pockets. “His grandparents want him.”

“After you deliver the boy, you’ll come back?” Fred asked. “We’ve missed our little Annie.”

“We’re shorthanded this winter.” Anoli’s eyes kept straying to Nick. “And the signs point to a mild one. We might be able to hunt throughout.”

She didn’t expect them to understand, but their lack of sympathy amazed her. What did they care about who raised the child? Yet, while they wouldn’t understand her desire to keep him, neither would they feel obligated to help some unknown family in Atoka take possession. Their disinterest might work in her favor.

“The train is leaving soon, and I really can’t make plans yet.” She turned to Nicholas and instead of spitting in his face asked, “Would you mind taking him back?”

His back straightened. “To the train? Without you?”

“I don’t want Joel to come looking for us. I’ll catch up.”

Fred ruffled Sammy’s noggin before handing him to Nick. With a last questioning look, Nick left and she was free to speak.

She took off her hat and fanned her face. “We need to settle up, Anoli. How much can you give me?”

“I can look up your share, but I only have fifty dollars on me.”

Fred whistled. “Don’t let anyone know you carry around fifty dollars, Anoli. They’ll be hunting your hide.”

But the Indian was unruffled. “Fred has been using your horse. He won’t want to give her up. Ask him top dollar.”

“Hey! Whaddya tell her that for? I had plans for this money.”

Anoli’s cheek twitched. Fred got up and fished a wad of bills from the saddlebag hanging across the dividing wall. “That’ll have to do until you come back. I do like the horse.”

Anne crammed the bills into her pocket, the one without the bread roll, and waited for Anoli to untie his leather money bag and spill the correct amount of gold into her hand. “Whatever your plans are, this should help. Send word when you’re settled, and I’ll send you the rest.”

“Subtract out the price of a knife, a canteen, and some matches, if you have any to spare.”

Fred rummaged in his own bag without being told.

Anne took the items from him. “And I might need assistance on the train. Anyone in the mood for a short trip?”

Tracker rolled to his feet. “Headed to Atoka? I wouldn’t mind hitting a real town for a change.”

“Thank you.” Anne tossed him a coin. “Buy your ticket and stay clear of me. If I need you, I’ll let you know.” She knelt and slid the remaining coins into her boot.

“That man—he going with you?” Anoli asked.

“No, and if he ever comes around, you mustn’t tell him where I am. If we part, it’ll be because he’s turned against me.”

Tracker grunted his disapproval.

“We won’t tell him nothing,” Fred said.

Anoli nodded. “You can trust us.”

But she couldn’t trust Nick. Not anymore.

 21 

Night had fallen but she couldn’t sleep and neither could the two men determined to keep an eye on her. Anne drew small satisfaction from every one of Joel’s gigantic yawns. Nicholas rested heavily on the bench next to her and seemed to lean closer to her with every mile.

“Sammy has been asleep for hours,” Nick said. “You should put him down. Your arms must be tired.”

Her mouth opened to protest, but then she thought again. She should rest while she could. “I have nowhere to lay him. If Deputy Puckett would leave, Sammy could lay on the bench across from me.”

“Why don’t you get a bunk?” Joel asked.

“I will when I’m tired,” Anne said. “No reason to be stacked like firewood before I’m sleepy.”

Nick’s toe tapped Joel’s foot. Anne pretended not to notice the look they exchanged.

“I’ll stay with her,” Nick said. “That’s why I came, after all.”

To keep an eye on her. To guarantee that she didn’t save her child.

Joel’s mouth grew taut as he fought against another yawn. “All right, then. Last night in the tree didn’t do me any favors. I’ll catch some shut-eye while I can.”

He ambled off, leaving them as perhaps the only ones awake in the car. Nicholas took Sammy from her arms and held him while Anne spread her duster on the bench. Once he was arranged she wrapped the old coat around him, tucking it snugly beneath his sleeping form.

Anne fell back against her seat and shivered after losing Sammy’s warmth. The cold crept in from the walls of the railcar and chilled the room.

Nick shrugged out of his coat. “Anne, I’m here for you, not for Joel. If there was any other way, you know I’d help.”

She leaned forward so he could place his coat between her and the seat.

Would he help or had all his concern been a lie? Unbidden, the memory of their time in the kitchen returned—Nick holding her hands, easing her painful story from her. The threat to Sammy had so primed her anger that she’d forgotten his kindness over the last couple of months. Here he was on a train rolling through Indian Territory the night of the election. Shouldn’t she give him another opportunity to prove himself?

“You should be in Garber, receiving your congratulations.”

He reached around her and pulled his coat closed, nestling her in its warmth. “That can wait. You are more important to me than the election.”

Anne felt his gaze and felt the blush creeping up her neck. “I’m surprised to hear you say that.”

“It’s true. Whether I win or lose, it doesn’t compare with the honor of knowing you and calling you my friend.” He
found her hand inside the sleeve of his oversized coat and threaded her fingers through his. “You’ve been through a lot, Anne, and tomorrow might be the worst yet, but I want you to know that you aren’t alone.”

She closed her eyes. Tomorrow. Where would the dear little boy be sleeping tomorrow? Who would rock him? Who would fix his breakfast in the morning? Who would she have to love after he was gone?

Anne’s fingers tightened on Nick’s hand. She wanted so much out of life. The family, the home, the security, but it was always just out of reach. Did she have the courage to grab it before it disappeared, or had all of Nick’s words been empty? “You said if there was any way—”

“Any
legal
way.”

She nodded. Her throat squeezed tight. What was she willing to sacrifice for Sammy?

She scooted to the end of her chair and turned to face Nick.

“You said they might meet me and decide I’d make a good mother. I hope that’s true, but wouldn’t they want to know that Sammy has a father, as well? Couldn’t we tell them that . . . that we’re engaged? You are a respectable businessman. They would trust you.”

His face was unreadable in the dim light. “I wouldn’t lie to them, Anne. We couldn’t say we were going to provide a home for him if we have no plans to do so.”

She took a deep breath. “Then marry me. We could have Finn’s father perform the ceremony. It’d be worth it to keep Sammy.”

“Worth it?” His mouth quirked. “You’re only willing to marry me if it means keeping Sammy? Goodness, Anne. It’s
no wonder they leave proposing to the men. Your offer isn’t exactly flattering.”

Didn’t he understand that she was serious? Still holding his hand, she pulled herself closer, their knees bumping. “My offer is practical and you claim to be a practical person. You’ve worked and saved to impress a wife. I don’t want to be cruel, but that’s gone now. Your choices are more limited than ever.”

“Now I’m not only unwanted by you but despised by the rest of the female sex, as well. My fragile ego is battered.”

“You know I appreciate you. Maybe I haven’t demonstrated it fully, but I feel more comfortable around you than anyone else I’ve known. We get along just fine when we aren’t fighting.”

The smile on his face gentled. He studied their hands linked together. “If we married, if you were my wife, would you be comfortable demonstrating your appreciation . . . fully?”

Anne’s heart pounded. His question was valid. What kind of offer was she making? Even if this was a marriage of convenience, he had the right to the comforts of a wife.

Could she? The thought terrified her, but Nicholas wasn’t Jay. He’d never been cruel or threatening. He was different.

She lifted her hand to his face, soaking up the vibrant warmth of his cheek. The day’s growth of whiskers teased her palm as she tilted his head toward her. He waited—his blue eyes encouraging—for her to act. Anne leaned, pulling herself forward by his shirtsleeve. She stretched until their lips met.

She kissed him—her lips on his. Her hand trembled, and when he slid his arm beneath the coat to pull her closer, she had to school herself not to resist. She was cornered in an
empty railcar. She should’ve been terrified, but that emotion lacked conviction beneath his leisurely perusal. And although Nicholas was in no hurry, he definitely wasn’t timid. His mouth took hers again, and he savored it as he did every good thing in life—with no apology for his enjoyment and with no pressure that it must lead to anything more.

Her hand dropped to his shoulder as she allowed, no welcomed, the intimacy between them. She wanted to confront her terror from the safety of his arms, but no sooner had she lowered her defenses than a yearning was birthed and it alarmed her. A desire to be his, to share her heart and not just her hand in marriage. But that desire meant a loss of control. It meant putting herself in his power, and she wasn’t willing after all.

Sensing her reluctance, Nicholas drew back. The questions in his eyes forced her to turn away. Pretending to check on Sammy she pushed out of his embrace.

“I guess he’s still sleeping,” she said.

“He is.” Nick’s breathing could be heard over the clacking of the wheels beneath them. Anne stretched the duster over Sammy and arranged it for the fourth time, afraid to settle her attention anywhere near the man sitting beside her.

Finally Nick leaned over the gap in the benches to place a hand on Sammy’s cheek. “If you’re worried about him, I’ll find you room in the sleeper car. He’s snug for now, but it would be warmer in a bunk.”

“Crowded in a room full of strangers? No thank you. Besides, I can’t sleep anyway.” It would take days for her heart to slow. Weeks for her lips to forget the feel of his caresses. Months before she stopped reliving—

“If you’d rather stay with me, you’ll hear no complaints.”
Nicholas kicked his feet up on the bench next to Sammy’s legs and stretched his arm behind her along the back of the bench. “I’m afraid I’m too exhausted to be any company, but I’ll offer my person to make this arrangement as cozy as possible.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulled her to his chest, and snuggled his cheek against her head. At the conclusion of an enormous yawn his body sank against hers. “Ah, you make a lovely pillow, Mrs. Tillerton. And before I fall asleep I’d be remiss if I failed to mention something. I’ve never once told you how beautiful you are, although I’ve noticed on countless occasions.”

Anne’s insides quaked, still very aware of how strongly he’d affected her. How much she desired the security of a bond with him. “Just this once,” she said. “No need to tell me again, because I won’t ever forget.”

Her cheek rubbed against his satin vest to the rhythm of the tracks flying beneath them. She tucked her hand up against his chest and felt his heartbeat—steady and strong. The heart of a man she’d like at her side always.

“Nick, you never answered my question.” Her bravery would flee if she had to face him, so she kept her face buried against him. “Will you marry me so I can keep Sammy?”

His chest rose in a deep breath. His voice drawled through the haze of exhaustion. “What if the Hollands refuse to give us Sammy? What then?”

“Nothing happens.” Anne brightened. “We leave Atoka and never mention it again. No one would even know that we’d discussed marriage.”

She felt rather than heard his sigh. He wrapped his other arm around her and held her securely. “Then my answer has to be no.”

“No?” Anne pushed against him, angry tears springing to her eyes. “No? You said you would do anything to help. Isn’t it worth a try?” He didn’t respond. Was he pretending to sleep? She punched his chest. “If you weren’t going to marry me, you shouldn’t have kissed me.”

His hand slid up her arm. “Are you sorry for it?”

“Furiously! I’m sorry that you don’t have the backbone to save Sammy. I’m sorry that our friendship now has the taint of a regretful familiarity. And I’m absolutely sorry that you enjoyed it so much.”

“Ah, you could tell?” He peered at her through drowsy eyes, his smile satisfied. “I really shouldn’t have any discussions when I’m this sleepy, but for the record I don’t feel a taint on our friendship, and I don’t regret the familiarity. Now, it should be obvious that you have me completely intoxicated and there’s no telling the foolishness I’m likely to spout, but I will promise this, tomorrow I’ll do my best to convince Finn’s parents that you are a good mother. That’s all I can promise. In good conscience I can’t inform them of our plans to wed when such plans were only created to reach another goal. I’m sorry to disappoint you. Now, once again I offer you safe escort to a bunk or”—he squeezed her shoulders—“a guard for the night. Either way, the stress of the week’s events is catching up with me. I won’t be a fit companion . . .”

His didn’t complete his sentence. His chest stretched with a long breath, and then his head dropped against hers again. Unbelievable. By morning he probably wouldn’t remember a word of their conversation. At least she could hope. And as much as she’d counted on Nicholas to aid her, she had to accept that no help was coming from him.

She and Sammy were on their own, and the only help Nicholas would provide was the fact that he seemed to be a heavy sleeper.

The motion that had lulled him into dreamless sleep ceased. Nick opened his eyes, relieved to find Anne still in his arms. Before dozing off, he’d wrapped her tight and wedged himself across their aisle to block her path, but he’d still worried that she’d spirit away during the night.

“Good morning.” He arched his back and released her. “Have you been awake long?”

She shrugged his coat off her shoulders. “Not too long. I need to get out, please.”