Caught in the Crosshair (19 page)

Lauren didn’t want to leave, but she didn’t want to hold up Max’s recovery either. Last thing she wanted to do was get in the way of his healing.

Jaden leaned into her ear. “He knows you’re here. That’s enough. We can come back tomorrow.”

“Promise?”
You’ll come with me?

“Yes. As soon as they open the doors.”

The nurse, who had been fidgeting with knobs, rocked her head. “He’s on a strict schedule this one. Visitation is restricted.”

“Let’s grab lunch,” Jaden said to Lauren.

Lauren didn’t want to leave. It was hard seeing her brother again, but not as hard as facing the thought of leaving him twice. She had no idea how much time they would have together before he disappeared into Witness Protection.

The nurse, looking sympathetic said, “Look, I’ll speak to the doctor and see if we can get you some extra time tomorrow. I know it isn’t much. But it’s better than nothing.”

“Thank you,” Lauren said gratefully.

Jaden’s hand never left her back as they walked out. She eased onto the back of the motorcycle. He didn’t stop until they returned safely to his place.

“We’ll see if Gunner can pull some strings. Get you in to see your brother a little more.”

“That would be nice,” she said, stifling a tear.

“Just remember he’s going to be fine.”

“He was trying to tell me something.”

“Maybe we’ll get another chance to talk to him tomorrow. I know he looked pretty bad to you, but believe me; I’ve seen a lot worse.”

“Like your injuries?” she asked, her hand on his shoulder with the bullet hole in it.

“That’s nothing. I told you, it happened on my last assignment. I’m better.”

Would he finally open up and talk about it?

“What happened to you?”

He looked away and sighed sharply.

She kissed his shoulder. “I want to know.”

He didn’t speak right away. Silence sat between them.

Lauren waited patiently.

His fingers stabbed through his hair. On another sigh, he said, “We were in deep. Down in Venezuela. Smith got close to a woman there. She was on the inside. We got weak or something. We believed her when she said she was innocent. Her brother was head of the cartel we were after. She used us. We were ambushed. The guy I was on assignment with, Smith, took a permanent trip to the morgue. I got lucky.”

Lauren’s finger traced the hole in his shoulder ever so softly. “I doubt it.”

“I got out alive. That was luck.”

“Or skill.”

She brushed a kiss on his shoulder. “This woman you trusted, did the two of you get very close?”

“Not this close,” he said and his lips found hers.

His kiss was tender, sweet. He took his time making love to her.

After, he fed her in bed, stealing kisses in between bites.

Happy, never wanting the feeling to end, Lauren closed her eyes knowing full well her sense of security wouldn’t last.

Chapter Sixteen

Lauren lay sleeping in Jaden’s bed, his protective arms encircling her. Her steady, even breathing said she was asleep.

A few things had been bothering Jaden since leaving the hospital.

The first question on the hamster wheel? Why did the cartel seem so intent on finding Lauren? What involvement could she have had?

Sure, family members unwittingly stepped in a snare from time to time. They were usually kidnapped and tortured — anything that might cause pain to the intended target. Which didn’t explain why they’d followed Lauren all the way to the States. Then there was her townhouse. Her belongings had been thoroughly turned over, destroyed. This was a message, a warning. Or they were looking for something or someone. Except he couldn’t shake the feeling someone was pissed. But who?

Secondly, why did they kidnap Max in the first place? They’d snatched him, and the first thing they did was call his sister?

Lauren had said he seemed resigned to die. It made sense they’d kill him rather than let him leave the business. Except another thing was eating at Jaden. Why now?

Max had been out for more than six months, he’d been clean for longer. What could they possibly want from him months after he’d made his exit?

His thoughts circled back to Lauren.

The same question haunted him. Why did they seem so intent on involving her?

If information was being leaked from ManTech, then Smith couldn’t be involved. Could he? Jaden believed in Smith’s innocence.

Gunner had said the assignment file had gone missing. Precautions were taken to protect operatives, and yet the file would’ve outlined some details.

He was overlooking something. A connection or link he hadn’t thought of already. Time to play the
what if
game.

What if Max was completely innocent? What if they were after someone else?

But who? Lauren?

It didn’t make sense. The connection to the cartel had to come from Max’s line of work. Jaden kept looping back through the same couple of possibilities.

Situations like these called for out-of-the-box thinking. Who else was connected to Lauren?

Looking at her, their bodies linked, a thought struck him.

Him. He was the only person, aside from Max, she’d been around.

Hells bells.

Couldn’t be.

What if the cartel had been trying to ferret out Jaden all along?

But why? What was Max trying to tell them? He’d repeated Herrr.

The realization hit Jaden as hard as a jackhammer to his solar plexus.

Herrrr was a woman.

Fuck.

All this time he’d been looking for a man.

Double fuck.

There was only one female agent in ManTech.
Helena.

Everyone around her dropped like napalm. Why hadn’t he pieced this together before?

The hollow look in her eyes the day of Tim’s funeral had haunted Jaden ever since. Something broke in her the day she’d lost him. Helena was never after Max or Lauren. She was after Jaden. Why? Did she blame him for Tim’s death?

This was personal.
Shit.
Helena was out for revenge, hell bent on taking away anyone and everyone close to him. She wanted him to feel as alone as she did.

Guilt hit him fast and hard, rolling his insides. Max and Lauren would have been safe if not for him. His assignment had put them in a killer’s sights.

It felt like the worst kind of betrayal lying next to Lauren, having her feel his protection, when, in fact, she and her brother were in danger because of him. Worse yet, he hadn’t trusted her. Icy fingers squeezed his heart.

Jaden slid out of the covers, snatched his cell from the makeshift bedside table, pulled on a pair of jeans, and slipped out the front door.

Was Gage still with her? He texted him.

Nothing.

He called Gunner next. “Have you heard from Gage?”

“No.”

“Get men on it. He’s in danger. I know who it is. I know who’s calling the shots. Helena.”

“What the hell? What makes you think it’s her?”

“Tim. She thinks it’s my fault he’s dead. He was all she had. She tried to kill me when I was on assignment with Smith. When she didn’t succeed, she knew I’d be on my guard this time even more. She also knew I’d take an easy assignment while I healed.”

“Instead of coming right after you, she’s been killing her way toward you this whole time.” Regret laced Gunner’s tone. “She got to the intel before I made it disappear. She’s been using the Menendez cartel as a front.”

“This started with me, and it ends with me. I need a few days to come up with a plan. I’ll need your help,” Jaden said.

“Name it.”

***

Jaden closed the phone, his chest heavy as his thoughts snapped to his biggest issue — a problem he didn’t want to face. If Helena kidnapped Max so she could target Lauren in order to draw Jaden out … the only way to keep her safe would be to distance himself from her.

To leave her.

Fuck.

The pain in his chest nearly crippled him. His heart ached. She would never forgive him for betraying her trust.

Maybe he could figure out a way to tell her, to make her understand?

No. Wouldn’t work. If she knew the real reason, she’d refuse to let him go. He’d practically promised her forever already, and damned if he hadn’t meant it.

Leaving her would be the hardest thing he’d ever do. Making her believe he’d left for good might just kill him.

Pain aside, this was the only way. He couldn’t protect her otherwise.

She would never forgive him. Period. Because he would have to convince her he’d grown tired of her, and that was the reason he was leaving.

It felt like jagged knives were running through his chest just thinking about what he had to do. He couldn’t imagine the pain of actually doing it.

When she’d been in his arms this morning, he’d felt happiness for the first time in so long. He would be betraying every emotion he had to push her away. He hoped like hell he could pull it off. His training had taught him to lie well. He’d gotten away with it in the past because he’d never once betrayed his true feelings.

Damn that this was so complicated.

Lauren made him happy.

Really happy.

For the first time in his life, he thought about having a future with someone.
A life with you could kill her,
a little voice said
.

He couldn’t allow it. He would find the strength to push her away, drawing on his refusal to let anyone hurt her. He needed a plan, a plan to keep her safe, tuck her away somewhere in the distance. Maybe he could make a play for her to go into protective custody like Max?

No. She wouldn’t go for it.

What if he could convince her to lay low for a while?

It was doubtful she’d go for that either. If she knew Jaden was in trouble, she’d want to help.

Jaden’s heart hurt so much, he half expected it to burst. He would do anything to keep her safe, would gladly give his own life to protect her.

Even if it means pushing her away and losing her forever?

What choice did he have?

Until then, he would enjoy watching her sleep. She looked peaceful. Happy. She looked as happy as he once felt.

This was going to hurt far worse than a bullet to the heart. She’d awakened a place in him he thought was long dead. Now that it was awake, he couldn’t imagine the pain involved in shutting it down.

God, he wanted her to forgive him for what he had to do. If he needed to remind himself a thousand times a day there was no other choice, he would. Her safety had to override his emotions.

Except now that she was in his life, he couldn’t imagine having much of one without her. He would give himself a few more days to be near her. Allow Gunner time to set everything up. Until then, Jaden would hold out hope he could find a better way. A way that didn’t make him want to rip his beating heart out of his chest for the pain he felt.

Yet, what he had to do was written plainly on the wall.

The next few days he spent in dread. Jaden wouldn’t leave her while she was so worried about her brother. He would give her that much comfort at least.

“Is everything okay?” Lauren asked, studying his face intently after dinner, as she had done all too often in the past seventy-two hours.

Damn.
“I have another assignment. I have to leave soon,” he said, deadpan.

If she was shocked, she did a damn good job of hiding the emotion. It hurt worse to think she might have been expecting this all along.

***

“Time to move on?” Lauren asked, realizing all he meant by those few words, refusing to give in to the sobs threatening to bring her to her knees.

“Yes. Your brother’s safe. You should be okay from here.”

“So what happens now?” she asked, not wanting him to detail out how he planned to walk away.

“Gunner set up a safe house for you. You’ll be watched day and night. An agent will bring you to your brother whenever you want to see him.”

He’d thought of everything. Except how much her heart would break when he left. Anger replaced sadness. Hadn’t he made her feel safe? Hadn’t he wanted to? Hadn’t he all but promised her a life together?

“So that’s it then. You ride off into the sunset, Jaden, or whatever your name is, and don’t look back?” she asked bitterly. Back to square one. Hadn’t he made promises to her?

No. He hadn’t actually made any promises. She reminded herself of that fact. No matter how much it felt like he had. Because when she was in his arms, she felt like it would be forever.

“Look. It’s work. It’s what I do,” he said stiffly.

Guess she’d been the fool. She thought they’d be building a new life together. “Fine. Do what you have to.”

His pained expression didn’t matter, didn’t stop the words from stinging, didn’t stop her heart from cracking.
You’re leaving me.

The words
for now
echoed in the back of her mind. Hadn’t their relationship always been temporary?

“When will you return?” Her back muscles stiffened.
Here it comes
.

“I don’t know.”

“Right. You don’t know who you really work for. You don’t know when you’ll leave or come back. You won’t tell me anything.” She folded her arms, hugging them tightly into her chest. “So, just go.”

“It’s not like that.”

Oh, but it is.

His lips thinned, and his gaze narrowed. “Fine. You’re right. We’ve run our course. Gunner set up a safe house for you near the hospital. You’ll be able to stay with Max until he’s well.”

Jaden stood up, dropped a couple of twenties on the table, and walked out of the restaurant onto the burning hot sidewalks that were July in Dallas.

Lauren turned away. She didn’t have the heart to watch him disappear. This was nothing more or less than what she’s expected from him all along. Everyone showed their true colors eventually. She closed her eyes, put her face in her hands, and cried.

She’d been alone before, but this was the first time she felt lonely.

Why would he do this to her? After all they’d been through? All they’d meant to each other?

She’d believed wholeheartedly the feelings they’d shared were real.
Weren’t they?
Everything about his dark expression, the lines creasing his forehead, the dread in his voice, made her believe he didn’t want to walk away.

So why did he?

***

Losing her forever was something Jaden couldn’t fathom. So he lied to himself by saying the only true way to lose her was in death. As long as she was alive, out there somewhere, he could live with himself for what he’d done.

God, he wanted to turn around and race back to her. Take her in his arms. Take her to bed.

He fired up his motorcycle engine.

Jaden had to force his thoughts back to what was important.
You’re safe now. I’ll keep you protected.
There was no way he could turn around and say good-bye again. Not this time. Even though every fiber of his being wanted to do just that, run to her, and beg her to give him another chance.

Anger burned through his lungs, making something as simple as taking in air painful.

What could he do about it? Wheels were in motion. He had to get that through his thick skull. It had been easy to forget while she was in his arms. His mind couldn’t think clearly when his fingers touched her perfect skin. He had to sort out his thoughts, clear his focus, so he made damn sure no one would hurt her again.

Besides, he couldn’t concentrate when her body was pressed against his. He was just a man after all. Not even a holy man could resist that kind of temptation.

He was no saint.

No threat he’d be called up for that job anytime soon, either.

And right now?

He was a bastard instead.