Caught (8 page)

Bottom of the 5
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Quinn

I couldn’t get out of the house fast enough. It was stupid of me to even stick around after the fact. It’s not like Chace was even awake when I made it back to the bedroom after cleaning myself up last night. He passed the hell out right next to his girlfriend like nothing had happened. Only it had happened. We had sex. I lost my virginity. I gave it to my best friend—the guy I’ve loved for years. And now I’m left to sulk about it on my own. This isn’t how it’s supposed to happen. I was the one who his arms were supposed to be around and whose neck his head was supposed be tucked against. I might have made the worst decision of my life last night, and here I am, sitting in my car watching as Finley climbs into Chace’s lap. Go figure the car would be parked right in front of the huge bay window, giving me the best freaking view ever. I want to puke, but I’m able to keep the contents of the cereal in my stomach down. What I did last night might end up ruining a bunch of shit in the process, no need to let it ruin my breakfast as well—ruining my life is good enough.

As I put Finley’s car in reverse and back out, I refuse to cry. I won’t allow something so trivial to affect my current mood. I know it isn’t inconsequential, but I’m hoping if I keep telling myself it’s no big deal that my heart will eventually get the memo. There has to be bigger problems I could be facing at the moment besides the fact that I slept with one best friend and lied to another—we lied. I swipe the back of my hand under my eye, removing the proof of how I’m really feeling. That will be the only tear I allow myself to shed over this. 

Once I get home a sense of dread takes over. My parents know I’m supposed to spend the day with Fin and Chace since he’s leaving this afternoon. They’re going to know something’s wrong, or that something happened. But facing them has got to be easier than what I was up against this morning. I slowly start up the front porch steps, cringing each time one of the steps creaks. Maybe, if I’m lucky, they all decided to sleep in this morning. I mean, it is only – I glance down at my phone and suck in a breath as I stare at the time in shock. It’s already freaking noon. How in the world did I sleep so late?  I don’t even think I really did any sleeping. I could have sworn it was nine a.m. at the latest.

No way am I dodging the crowd now. I tuck my phone into my back pocket and let out a breath as I twist the knob.

“What are you doing home?” my ever so nosey little bro inquiries from the couch.

I roll my eyes and head for the stairs. I don’t answer to him.

“Quinn, is that you?” My mom peeks out from the kitchen. She has her super bright tie-dyed apron on.

“Uh, yeah.” I smile, planting my hand against the wood railing.

“Aren’t you supposed to see Chace off today?”

“Yes, but I don’t feel good at the moment.”

“Another hang over?” Judd chimes in, and I in turn shoot daggers into the back of his head. My mom’s eyes rise up in question, and I know that I need to give her some sort of reassurance.

“I’m not hung over. Shocker, I know.” I flip him off behind his back.

“Quinn,” my mom snaps, catching me in the act.

“I think it was the milk this morning. Something didn’t settle in my stomach right. I just need to take like a mini nap or something and I’ll be good,” I lie with a fake smile.

“Well, if you need anything—” my mom starts.

“Get it yourself,” Judd murmurs.

Bolting up the stairs, I can’t get into my room fast enough.  I slam the door behind me and grab my earbuds off my bedside table and pull my phone out of my back pocket before flopping down on my bed belly first. I just want to zone out. Music is good at helping me do that. I just want to be able to let my mind drift off so I can doze out for a bit. Maybe then I can wake up and all of this will have been a bad dream—even though the bad part of it was actually not so bad. It wasn’t spectacular by any means, but I would have never wanted to experience that with any other guy.

“I’ll be gentle,” he said as he started moving in and out of me slowly. He was tender with me and my body as he kissed my bare skin. The times his lips weren’t on some part of my body, his eyes were focused on mine, gauging me and showing me how he was feeling. He didn’t have to tell me how good it felt for me to know. But he did tell me, repeatedly.

“God, Q, you feel so good,” he breathed against my skin, causing bumps to spread across my damp body. I wanted to tell him he felt good back, but my body was still adjusting to the feeling. He was stretching and filling me up in ways I’d never experienced.  The only part that felt good about it was knowing he was the one moving in and out of me—knowing he was the one claiming something that I had specifically saved just for him.

I had allowed everyone to think I was sexually active. He had no clue that I was a virgin until I was no longer one. I could have told him beforehand, maybe even prepared him. But I didn’t want the chance of him backing out. Believe it or not, Chace had the biggest conscience I knew. Even drunk Chace would have tried to stop himself from claiming that victory. I couldn’t risk it.

“I’m about to come,” he moaned.

I tightened my legs against his hips and dug my fingers into his back. I didn’t want it to end. I wanted the moment to last forever. I wanted it to be engrained into his memory, because I will never be able to clear it from mine. I wanted to mold myself into him. I wanted him to come inside me. I wanted to experience everything I could with him in that moment, knowing that I’d never get another chance to do so.

“Don’t pull out,” I said, but I knew it came out as some sort of plea. I wasn’t trying to be scandalous and get knocked up and trick him into being with me. I’ve been on the pill since I was fifteen due to out of whack periods. I wanted all of him, and in return I gave him all of me. Afterward, he didn’t pull right out and roll off of me like I had expected. He stayed tucked between my legs and kept his eyes intently on me. It was beautiful and terrifying all at once.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, placing his hands on both sides of my face. “You’re the most amazing chick I know.” He bent down, pressing his lips against mine. “I really hope I didn’t just fuck things up,” he whispered against my lips before giving me one final kiss.

“Me too,” I whispered once the kiss was over.

He moved off of me and laid in the middle of the bed. Without a word, I hopped up and grabbed what clothes I could find of mine.

“Where you going?” Chace reached over, grabbing my hand and startling me in the process. I could see the worry in his tired eyes.

I held what little clothes I had against my naked body and looked around nervously.

“Ahh, I, ummm. I need to go clean up.”

“Oh, yeah.” He gave me a sympathetic look as he let his hand slowly drop from mine. I missed the connection as soon as it was gone. After I took my time cleaning myself off and then staring into the mirror for what felt like eternity, I finally went back out to face the situation. I should have expected it, but I don’t know why I didn’t. Chace was snuggled up against Fin with his arms tightly wrapped around her waist. It’s something I’ve witnessed more times than I’d like to count. Normally it wouldn’t have bothered me to climb right back into bed with the two of them, but that night I couldn’t stomach it…or heart it. I just couldn’t take it.

So instead I made my way into the living room and tried to drown my sorrows with Netflix. This is where I eventually passed out for at least a few hours.

“Quinn,” I hear in the distance. “Quinn.” I slowly open my eyes and wipe the drool away from my mouth. I pull my earbuds out as I roll onto my back. I must have been out for a while if my playlist had played all the way through. I prop myself up on my elbows, looking up at my mother who’s standing in my doorway.

“Yeah, what’s up, mom?”

“I just got off the phone with Chace’s mom. He’s leaving in thirty minutes.”

“Oh.” I let my elbows slide as I drop back flat on my bed.

“She said he’s worried you aren’t going to show.”

“Hmm.” I throw my arm across my face.

“Did something happen last night?”

“No, why?” I quickly reply, sitting back up, probably making myself look more suspicious.

“Just checking.” She pushes off the doorframe and walks into my room, sitting beside me. “I know you’re sad that he’s leaving, but if you don’t go to say bye you’re going to regret it. He needs his best friend there showing him support.”’

“You’re right.” I sigh.

“I know.” She pats my leg and stands. I grab the hand she holds out and stand up beside her. “Hurry up. You gotta boy to send off.”

I change in record speed; not wanting to show up at his house in what I left Finley’s in. I brush my teeth and throw my hair up. It’s as fancy as I’m getting. It’s not like I’m trying to impress him, make him think about what he’s missing. He already got the goods. I have nothing else to dangle over him anymore. Not that I was dangling my goods.

I debate driving over for dramatic effect, but hell, he only lives a block away. And plus, I’m not the dramatic type—that’s Finley.

I hear him yelling as soon as my feet hit the edge of his driveway. He’s all by himself, loading stuff into his truck, and I come to a halt. I wasn’t expecting to have to face him all alone. I was expecting his mom and Finley to be attached to his hip. I didn’t need to be thrown into this all awkward like, but here I am. He shuts the driver side door and rests his hands against the truck. I can see he’s in deep thought. He’s probably looking at his shit and checking off stuff in his mind, making sure he hasn’t forgotten anything.

“You might need this,” I say, pulling his lucky batting glove out of my back pocket. As soon as his eyes spot me his face lights up and I feel bad that I didn’t show up sooner.

I toss him the black piece of material and his hand flies out of nowhere, catching it. He looks down at it and lets out a laugh before tucking it into his front pocket. I like that he’s keeping it close instead of tossing it in with the rest of his baseball gear.

“You always seem to know what I need.” He starts walking towards me.

“Yeah, ‘member that one game you couldn’t find that stupid thing? You struck out the whole game. You need that glove.” I smile shyly.

“I’m not talking ‘bout the glove, Q. I’m talking about you.” He stands right in front of me, watching me for a moment. Then he closes the distance and swallows me in a hug, and my body sinks into his. “I’m glad you showed.”

Top of the 6
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Chace

My body presses tightly against hers, and I swear my goddamn heart skips a beat. I hold her tightly, allowing myself to soak up just a few more moments of being this close. This is it for us. Things are changing, and we won’t be able to see each other whenever we want anymore. Not to mention the big black mark I left on our friendship last night. 

“Of course I came, Chacer,” she mumbles into my chest. “I wouldn’t miss sending you off for the world.”

With the appropriate amount of time that one should hug their friend passing, I drop my arms and take one step back, allowing me to see her face in hopes of gauging her mood a little bit better.  Much to my dismay, she’s looking at the ground, focused on the pavement beneath our feet.  Her lack of eye contact is enough.  I have to say something; need to go there in hopes to get some insight from her.

“Yeah,” I say quietly. “But I thought with, ya know…” I pause and take off my hat, running my hand through my hair before placing it back on my head.  “I just thought you were pissed,” I finally spit out.

She looks up at me, her face as unaffected as earlier in the day.  “Chace, I’m not a child.”

“I know, but—”

She looks around nervously. “But nothing. We got drunk. We had sex. It’s nothing, really.  So stop making it into something it’s not.”

I swallow the lump in my throat.  How could she be so steadfast about something like this?  It was something.  It was something that had the weight that could change the balance of all our relationships.  I should be thankful that Quinn is so nonchalant about the whole thing.  It is so un-girl like, but that is her.  It shouldn’t surprise me that she could act like nothing happened…or is she? “Quinn, we’ve gotta talk about this.”

“No.” Quinn looks right past me. “We don’t.”

“UGH!” Finley cries from the end of the driveway.  “Today sucks donkey balls.  Wahhhhhh!  I just wanna cry.”

Startled, I turn around and look over my shoulder to see Finley sauntering up the drive. She looks phenomenal in a short little sun dress that shows off her tanned legs perfectly. Unsure, I turn back to Quinn, whose focus is totally on Finley. She’s smiling even, so she must be telling the truth. Last night didn’t mean anything to her, it didn’t fuck anything up, and I have nothing to worry about. Case closed. 

I turn around just as Finley throws herself into my arms.  “I’m going to miss you so much,” she says into my neck.

“We’ll FaceTime every night,” I promise.

“We better.”

I squeeze her tight before setting her back down on her feet and kissing her cheek.  I turn to Quinn, who’s just standing awkwardly next to my truck.  “We can three-way,” I say without thinking, and immediately I want my words back.

Quinn’s face flushes.  “I’ll just come over with Fin some nights. We can talk that way.”

Is she brushing me off?

“You’re going to be fabulous,” Finley says as she grabs my hand and weaves her fingers between mine.  “I can’t wait to hear all about the Cape and read about you in the papers.”

My lips form a hard line, because I’m not so sure about that.  Her confidence in me is to be expected.  I always have been the big fish in the little pond here; I ruled the baseball scene for years.  But down in the CCBL I’m slightly worried that I’ll turn into a little fish, but Finley doesn’t know that.  Quinn does.

“You’re going to be great,” Quinn says, almost knowing that a little self-doubt is creeping in. 

Turning my face to her, I smile.  “Thanks, Q.  I hope you guys have a chance to come down and spend some time before the summer is over.  I hear the Cape has the best beaches.”

Finley pulls my hand and stands up on her tip toes to give me a kiss.  “Of course we will, silly.  I’m going to want to soak up every last minute I have with you.  You going to UCONN and all, we’re up for a lot of separation this year.”  She frowns, and I know that she’s worried.  She’s worried that she won’t be enough anymore.  That I won’t be able to resist the charms of some Connecticut girls and that she’ll lose me forever. 

In order to reassure her, I wrap my arms tightly around her neck and pull her into me.  Leaning down, I press my lips to her forehead and she sniffles.  “It’s all going to work out,” I whisper.  But I’m not even so sure of that myself.

Quinn clears her throat before saying, “Well, I guess I’ll be going.  Good luck, Chace.” 

I drop my arms from Finley’s neck and turn around just in time to see Quinn booking it down the driveway.  I look over at Finley for some sort of clue and she nods with her head, indicating for me to go after her.  “I’ll be right back,” I promise just before I chase her out into the street, my feet pounding the pavement.  “Quinn!”  I holler, hoping that she’ll stop, but she doesn’t.  As I close in on her, I reach out and grab her arm, forcing her to spin around and face me.  “What are you doing?” I bite out.

“I’m going home.”

“Why?”

She huffs in annoyance before spewing her venomous words.  “So you can appropriately say goodbye to your girlfriend without the third wheel spinning around awkwardly in the background, like always.”

“Don’t do this to me.” I roll my eyes.  Quinn’s been my best friend for years, but when her inner bitch gets ahold of her she’s near impossible to reason with.

She crosses her arms in front of her chest, her face devoid of any emotion.  She always refers to it as her ‘resting bitch face’.  “Do what?”

“This snarky bitch routine of yours.  You can’t be mad at me.  You’re the one who told me not to make all of this into something it’s not.”

She quickly pulls her arm from my grasp causing my hand to fall against my leg.  “You’re the one who keeps bringing it up.”

“You’re the one acting like a child.  Don’t ruin today for me, Quinn.”

“I’m not ruining anything.  I’ll see you later, Chace.”  She turns on her heel and leaves me alone in the street.  I watch as she gets further away from me, her body shrinking into the distance, and I can’t help but feel like everything is all fucked up.  Quinn can play it off, but I know, without a doubt, that shit isn’t right.  I know I need to fix it.  I look down at my watch, hoping that I have enough time, but I don’t.  It’s time for me to leave.  Time for me to spend my summer playing baseball.  I need to focus on this opportunity and that is what I fully intend on doing.