Cat's Lair (22 page)

Her body jerked. She knew he saw it because his eyes narrowed and moved over her face. “I was under his protection. He told me that a million times.”

“Cat. Come here.”

Her gaze flew to his. “I’m right here.”

“Come here.” He said it softly. The command he could put into his voice was there and her heart beat faster.

Catarina slipped out of her chair before she could stop herself and went to stand in front of him. He caught her wrist and tugged her down onto his lap. His arm slid around her waist and pulled her tight against his body.

“Relax, baby. Just let me hold you for a minute.”

Another minute went by. She tried to hold out. It was insane to sit on his lap and allow this kind of intimacy. This wasn’t about sex at all. This was about comfort. Caring. She couldn’t do that with him.

“Settle, Kitten,” Eli insisted, his fingers easing the tension out of her neck.

When he did that, massaged her neck and shoulders, she turned to putty in his hands. She found herself melting into him in spite of her resolve to hold something of herself back.

“That’s my girl,” he whispered, and skimmed his mouth along her neck and then behind her ear. “Cordeau must have studied your family and realized that there was a good chance you were a shifter. Females are difficult to find. I should know, I traveled the world, all the rain forests, everywhere I knew that there were pockets of us left.”

He stroked her hair, and she fit her head more comfortably into his shoulder. He was a big man with the roped muscles of his kind, and he made her feel very safe. She knew she shouldn’t allow it, but she’d never had that luxury of safe before.

“He didn’t make any effort to spend time with you, or build a relationship. He went about his business, and when you needed a little love and guidance, he hurt you. He’s a rogue. You don’t understand that term and maybe you never should. Rogues aren’t allowed to live. Other shifters hunt them. We have our own police force for that.”

“Are you part of that?” she asked.

He didn’t answer her question. “I know I scare you, Kitten, but I’m not like Cordeau. Never like him. Do you understand?”

She wasn’t certain she did. “What do you mean when you say your leopard is hard to handle sometimes?”

He sighed. “His moods are fierce and passionate. Obviously they affect me. He’s bad-tempered and he doesn’t like bullshit. I have to keep a strong hold on him all the time.”

She wiggled to get free and was surprised when he let her go. Surprised and maybe a little disappointed. She slipped back in her chair and picked up her coffee cup again. The coffee was cold, but it gave her something to do.

“I want to see him. Your leopard. And I want to watch him run.” The moment she blurted it out, her heart began to pound. She hadn’t meant to say that, it just slipped out. She’d been thinking about it, but she wasn’t certain she was ready for it.

The smile faded from his face. He took the coffee cup from her hand and set it on the table and reached both hands to frame her face. “Catarina, you’re terrified of my leopard. Why would you ask to see him?”

There was no way to avoid his eyes. All amber. When he looked at her, she always felt like she was the only woman in his world and he didn’t see anything or anybody but her. That wasn’t the truth because he was always aware of everything around him, but still, he made her feel that way.

“I am afraid, Eli, I’m not going to lie. But I’ve only seen one in a rage and he hurt me. It hurt for weeks. I have nightmares about his leopard. I really thought I was going to die. And then on top of that, I believe absolutely that he allows the leopard to hunt and kill humans. People disappear and he’s suspected of getting rid of them, but no one can prove it. I’m terrified and I’ve got one in me. I don’t want to be a monster. I don’t want to live as a monster or knowing I’m living with one.”

He bent forward until his lips brushed hers. “I understand. I know a lot of shifters, Cat. I’ll introduce you to a few someday. They’re good people. They risk their lives to help people in trouble. Their leopards don’t hunt and kill anything human, nor does mine. I would never allow my leopard to hunt and kill for sport.”

Her heart was doing a strange fluttery thing again, just because he was so gentle with her. His kiss was featherlight, barely there, but she felt it all the way to her toes.

“You’ll show me then?”

“Why do you want to see him run free?”

She took in a deep breath, let it out. He was still holding her eyes and she couldn’t look away, so he would see how important it was to her. “I’ve never been truly free. If my leopard can do that, it might just be the greatest thing in the world.”

Eli’s heart turned over. She was right, whether she knew it or not. She wouldn’t be free of him – not ever. He wouldn’t let her go. If she tried to leave him or run, he would find a way to make her stay and work overtime to try to find a balance with her. She didn’t understand yet about the way leopards mated for life. She was holding herself back from him. He knew she didn’t trust him, but he’d work on that. Still, she wasn’t going to leave him.

He knew what kind of man he was. He didn’t try to hide it from her now. He was the head of his home. The man. That wasn’t politically correct, but he couldn’t be anything other than who he was. He was alpha all the way. He liked to be the dominant in all things, including in bed. He enjoyed taking care of Catarina. He liked doing little things for her and wanted her to feel special. He wanted her to make his house a home, her home. Later, down the road, when they were married with several children and he knew she wasn’t going to have one foot out the door, he’d carve a sign and hang it on the gate. Cat’s Lair. He’d already made up his mind to that.

“You can run free in your leopard form,” he said. “And you’ll be there with her. You’ll experience it with her. And you’ll love it, Catarina; I do.”

He let his hands fall away because he wanted her all over again and she needed to heal. Fast. His leopard was pushing close to the surface all the time now, aware of her leopard so close to emerging.

“Will you then? Let me see him?”

“If I’m in leopard form, I won’t be able to stand in front of you and shield you if you get too scared, but if you call my name, I’ll shift back immediately.”

Her eyes lit up, although her hands trembled, her fingers twisting together nervously. “Then you’ll really do it, Eli? Let me see him?”

He nodded. “Baby, listen to me. My leopard is big. He’s an alpha. But he would never, under any circumstances hurt you. You hold his mate inside of you. You are part of his mate. He knows that and he knows you’re mine. I’m not saying this very well, talking, explaining things, is not my forte – but you belong to us. To both of us, and he would die to protect you.”

Her small tongue came out and she moistened her lips. “When?”

“Right now. You’ve got your courage up, let’s just do it now.”

He saw her take a breath, but she stood up. His Catarina. Yeah, she was scared, but she didn’t let that stop her.

“Um. Eli. I’m not dressed. I don’t even have shoes.”

“You don’t need shoes or clothes. You’re just going to sit in the truck and watch.”

“What if I want to touch him? Can I do that?”

She was killing him. “Yes, baby, if you want to touch him, you certainly can.” He got the truck keys and came back to her, reaching out his hand. She hesitated, but she took it.

“I’m going to take us out into the middle of the property, Kitten. That way no neighbor might accidentally stop by. It doesn’t happen often but I don’t take chances. You always have to remember, you can’t take chances either, once she’s emerged. She’s your responsibility. You have to control her and protect her.”

He opened the door to the passenger side and when she stepped up, his hand slid over her bottom, shaping her butt, a small gesture of male possessiveness. He didn’t do it with the long shirt over her bottom, he slipped his hand under the material to caress bare skin. She recognized the gesture for what it was. The warm slide of his hand sent heat rushing through her body, streaking through her veins like a drug. Once she was in the seat, he leaned in to fasten her seat belt.

“You do know I’m perfectly capable of putting on my seat belt,” she said, mostly because his head rubbed against her breasts, sending sparks of electricity straight to her feminine channel.

“Of course I know,” Eli said. “But then I’d miss a golden opportunity.” His fingers deftly undid two of her buttons and his mouth closed over her breast, mostly because he couldn’t resist her, but also to see her reaction.

She gasped and her arms went around his head, cradling him. That was all his Cat, not her leopard. She didn’t realize that she should have pushed him away. Been angry as all hell. She shouldn’t have been cradling his head to her while his mouth suckled her breast and his tongue pulled at her nipple. He used the edge of his teeth and felt her shiver. Perfect. She was born for him. If he had any doubts, which he didn’t, this would have proven his point. She belonged to him.

Reluctantly he lifted his head and brushed a kiss across her mouth before closing her door firmly. She looked a little dazed, a look he’d come to know and would forever want to see on her face. She was beautiful, his Cat, and she didn’t have a clue.

Her fingers went to the two buttons he’d slid open when he got behind the wheel. “Leave it, baby. I like to look at you.”

Again, she should have told him to go to hell and slapped his face, but instead, her hands dropped to her lap, her fingers twisting together. His shirt on her was open nearly to her belly button. He could see the curve of both breasts and the darker nipple of one.

“Fucking beautiful,” he whispered as he started the truck. And it wasn’t all about her looks, although she was beautiful. She suited him. She didn’t keep her body from him even though she wasn’t certain of them together. He hadn’t thought it was possible to find a woman who would take him as he was.

He reached over and captured her hand, bringing it to his thigh. He held it there, needing the closeness, wanting her to understand it wasn’t just about sex with her. He knew he made it seem like that, but truthfully, everything about her appealed to him and it had from the moment he’d laid eyes on her.

A man could go his entire life waiting to find that perfect someone – most gave up and settled. He wasn’t settling. She was the one. He’d known it instinctively, even before he knew she was leopard. Now he was absolutely certain. He was also certain, if he was Rafe Cordeau, he wouldn’t give her up. He would be hunting her. Cordeau was coming. Sooner or later he would find her, but she wouldn’t be defenseless anymore. Eli planned to teach her leopard how to fight just as he was teaching the woman. And Cordeau would have to go through him and his leopard to get to Catarina.

They drove along a narrow road toward the center of the property. He wanted her to see how beautiful the land was. It was important to him that she liked it. It would be her home and her leopard would want to run free here. Once she relaxed, her gaze was on the window and he was fairly certain she liked what she saw.

“This is good, baby,” he said softly, bringing the truck to a halt. He kept possession of her hand, bringing it up to the warmth of his mouth. “I don’t want you to be afraid. We’ll open the door…”

She shook her head. “I want to be outside. With the leopard.”

That surprised him. Clearly she was afraid. He studied her face. “Kitten, there’s no need to prove anything to me.”

She lifted her chin. “You asked me to trust you, Eli. I’m going to stand outside with a leopard, and if it attacks me I’ll know you’re full of shit.”

He couldn’t help but smile. “That isn’t even logical. A leopard can kill in seconds. You know that. Why would you put yourself in jeopardy like that just to see whether or not I’m telling you the truth?”

She didn’t answer him. In fact, her gaze slid away from his. His heart stuttered in his chest and he swore under his breath. She thought she was risking her life, and if he wasn’t telling her the truth, it didn’t matter to her. She had nowhere to go, and after the sex they’d shared, she knew she wouldn’t be sharing that with Cordeau. She’d rather be dead. He hooked his hand around the back of her head and pulled her in close to him.

“I’m telling you the truth, Cat, but your thinking is totally fucked up. You know that, don’t you? There’s always a way out.”

“Not with Rafe there isn’t. Let’s just do this, Eli, before I vomit all over the seat.”

He leaned close and kissed her. She tasted as sweet as ever. She wasn’t going to puke but she was scared, he could feel her body tremble. “We’ll do this then, baby, and you’ll see that it’s all going to be all right.”

10

E
LI
let his hands slide away from Catarina and, curiously, he felt the loss. She made him laugh more than anyone he’d ever met. She cooked for him. When he got in her space and put his mouth on her breast, she cradled his head to her. He loved the shy hesitation in her eyes and the way she was so honest about wanting to please him. He
detested
that he’d ever made her doubt him.