Cat's Eyewitness (29 page)

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Authors: Rita Mae Brown

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Susan choked up for a second, then said, “I told Ned last night.”

“You did?”

Susan nodded, sputtering. “It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.”

“God, Susan, what did he do?”

She quietly replied, “He said he always knew.”

The two stood there, not moving or speaking.

Harry finally whispered, “That’s a big love.”

“Look,”
Tucker barked.

Tears flowed down the Blessed Virgin Mary’s face, blood red in the sunlight.

Harry thought for a moment that there was probably some blood left in the statue, and then she thought that it didn’t matter. Miracles do happen.

That evening when Fair stopped by, Harry told him, “Yes.”

Dear Reader,

Catnip! Tuna! Chipped beef! These are the things that make life wonderful. Of course, I wouldn’t mind a bunny with a limp.

The more I write these mysteries, the more I enjoy myself. I don’t really need Mother at all except to type, open the canned food, and give me furry toys.

Pewter contributes about as much as the human in the house.

As for the dogs, poor things, they try so hard to read.

I hope you are all well, lots of mice in the cornfields, moles in the ground, and little voles, too.

The old truck finally pooped out at 200,000± miles. I want a big new one with my name emblazoned on the side. Too flash? How about a small S.P.B. on the driver’s door? I know Mother is frothing at the mouth to buy one but she has to drag it out, research it to the max. Right now she can’t make up her mind between an F-250 4×4 or an F-150 4×4. Personally I deserve an SL 55 AMG, but we are farmers so I have to be practical. The S.P.B. is a must, though.

You should insist that your human put your initials on the door. After all, they can’t put one foot forward without us.

Ta ta,
Sneaky Pie

Dear Reader,

Having just picked up the manuscript, discovering Sneaky Pie’s letter, I feel I should set the record straight.

My God, how she flatters herself.

I work just as much on these mysteries as she does. Furthermore, I don’t waste time bringing baby copperheads into the house. Nor do I dash after the chickens only to have them turn on me. She’s not as smart as she would have you believe.

As for the old truck, I sure got my money’s worth. What’s wrong with researching thoroughly? A truck or car is a big purchase. I can’t just throw the money away so she can ride in comfort. Yes, the star likes to be ferried about in style. Get her? An SL 55 tweaked by AMG. Catitude!

Catitude to the tune of about $119,750 retail base price. I mean, she can’t even think about the regular SL 500 at $88,500 retail base price. No, she wants the SL 55 AMG. That’s one pussycat that needs to be Number One on the
New York Times
best-seller list, because I’m not buying her a sports car. Wait, a sports car with her initials on the door.

I suppose I’ll have to put her initials on the truck or she’ll shred my shoes. Sneaky Pie practices revenge.

Wish me luck.
Rita Mae

About the Authors

RITA MAE BROWN
, bestselling author of over thirty books, loves her work. An Emmy-nominated screenwriter and a poet, she lives in Afton, Virginia. She is The Master of Foxhounds of The Oak Ridge Foxhunt Club.

SNEAKY PIE BROWN
, a tiger cat born somewhere in Albemarle County, Virginia, was discovered by Rita Mae at her local SPCA. They have collaborated on twelve previous Mrs. Murphy mysteries:
Wish You Were Here; Rest in Pieces; Murder at Monticello; Pay Dirt; Murder, She Meowed; Murder on the Prowl; Cat on the Scent; Pawing Through the Past; Claws and Effect; Catch as Cat Can; The Tail of the Tip-Off;
and
Whisker of Evil,
in addition to
Sneaky Pie’s Cookbook for Mystery Lovers.
She wants everyone to know that the wonderful foxhounds of Oak Ridge are the only hounds in the world supported by a cat.

Books by Rita Mae Brown
with Sneaky Pie Brown

WISH YOU WERE HERE

REST IN PIECES

MURDER AT MONTICELLO

PAY DIRT

MURDER, SHE MEOWED

MURDER ON THE PROWL

CAT ON THE SCENT

SNEAKY PIE’S COOKBOOK FOR MYSTERY LOVERS

PAWING THROUGH THE PAST

CLAWS AND EFFECT

CATCH AS CAT CAN

THE TAIL OF THE TIP-OFF

WHISKER OF EVIL

Books by Rita Mae Brown

THE HAND THAT CRADLES THE ROCK

SONGS TO A HANDSOME WOMAN

THE PLAIN BROWN RAPPER

RUBYFRUIT JUNGLE

IN HER DAY

SIX OF ONE

SOUTHERN DISCOMFORT

SUDDEN DEATH

HIGH HEARTS

STARTING FROM SCRATCH: A DIFFERENT KIND OF WRITERS’ MANUAL

BINGO

VENUS ENVY

DOLLEY: A NOVEL OF DOLLEY MADISON IN LOVE AND WAR

RIDING SHOTGUN

RITA WILL: A MEMOIR OF A LITERARY RABBLE-ROUSER

LOOSE LIPS

OUTFOXED

HOTSPUR

FULL CRY

CAT’S EYEWITNESS

A Bantam Book / February 2005

Published by

Bantam Dell

A Division of Random House, Inc.

New York, New York

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Quote from the
Book of Common Prayer
(contains Bible passages) of the Episcopal Church of USA, 1928, amended 1952.

All rights reserved.

Copyright © 2005 by American Artists, Inc.

Illustrations copyright © 2005 Michael Gellatly

Bantam Books is a registered trademark of Random House, Inc., and the colophon is a trademark of Random House, Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Brown, Rita Mae.

Cat’s eyewitness / Rita Mae Brown & Sneaky Pie Brown.

p. cm.

1. Haristeen, Harry (Fictitious character)—Fiction.         2. Murphy, Mrs. (Fictitious character)—Fiction.         3. Women postal service employees—Fiction.         4. Women detectives—Virginia—Fiction.         5. Women cat owners—Fiction.         6. Monasteries—Fiction.         7. Cats—Fiction.         8. Virginia—Fiction.         9. Mystery fiction.

PS3552.R698 C+ 2005

813'.54 22                                                                        2004046207

Published simultaneously in Canada

www.bantamdell.com

eISBN: 978-0-553-90120-7

v3.0

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