Catalyst (Book 1) (28 page)

Master Stradus walked out of the garden. A hot, stinging sensation crept into my eyes. I wanted to be alone, so I went out on the ledge, staring down at the landscape below. I tried in vain to imagine what was happening in Alexandria. Because I was exhausted from today’s duel, I didn’t last more than a couple of minutes in the weather. The cold pierced into my skin. I went inside to the library to read some stories, in hopes I would be able to laugh and lighten my mood.

We ate later in the day, but little was said during the meal. I went to bed earlier than normal. I wanted to think about the things Master Stradus had said to me in the garden. Fighting Premier was going to be even harder than I had thought. I had little hope of standing against him alone. I was glad my master would be with me.

----

We spent the next three days in practice duels and making potions to take with us. Each morning I woke up sore. My first thought was always of Krystal and the others. I wished we had a way of seeing if they were all right, but Master Stradus had hesitated to use a maleika for fear of conjuring the one that had almost killed me.

On the fourth morning, I woke earlier than usual. The elves should be nearly to Alexandria by now. We should be leaving soon.

Master Stradus had breakfast prepared. He waited until I had taken a bite of freshly baked bread before he spoke. “You should know this. Premier has taken Alexandria.”

The bread dropped from my hand. “No,” I whispered. I immediately thought of Krystal. Pictures of Premier doing unspeakable things to her formed in my mind. The flames grew still like my heart. “Master, how do you know this?”

“I used a maleika.”

“But you said—”

“I know what I said, Hellsfire. It had to be done. Precautions were taken.”

I didn’t care that he took a risk in doing it, and that he did it without me. I jumped to my feet and paced, fists clenched. “Godsdamnit! If only we had left sooner! I knew I should have stayed behind. If only—”

“Hellsfire, there's nothing you could have done. Premier captured Alexandria long before the dwarves or elves got there. By the time you arrived here, it was already too late. And if you had stayed behind, he would have killed you.”

I stopped pacing and perked up. “The elves and dwarves are there?”

He nodded. “I've sent a messenger hawk to tell them about our arrival. We fly out later today.”

“At least the armies are there. But I still wish we had done something to prevent this.” My initial burst of emotion faded. The flames resumed their normal burn. I sat back down on the stool and slumped over the table, ignoring the food.

“I know how you feel.”

I looked up at him. “You do?”

Master Stradus set down his cup of tea and cradled his staff in his hands. “I never told you this. I never got a chance to enter the war.”

“I always thought you did.”

He shook his head. “We arrived after the last battle had already taken place. I was…frustrated. Friends had died, and I wasn't there for them.”

I let his words sink in. That's exactly how I felt. So many people were putting their lives on the line, and I was sitting in here in safety.
Book of Shazul
or not, I shouldn't have left the princess by herself. I should have taken her away from Premier. I should have done something—anything!

“After the war, peace was tenuous at best,” Master Stradus said. “Old debts were remembered, and new alliances were formed. Countries used this time to expand their lands or resources. I foolishly got involved in a dispute between two principalities over mining rights in the Daleth Mountains.

“I wanted to help the people involved, but I also wanted to prove something to my dead friends. The situation turned into a pitched battle, and I blindly rushed into it, making things far worse.”

Master Stradus reached for his bread, then decided against it. He went for some tea but his hand shook. He clenched his fist. “People died because of me, Hellsfire.” Tears filled Master Stradus's eyes.

“Because you were late?”

“No!” He pounded his staff on the floor. “It was because I was young and foolish and rushed into things. I didn't understand the situation or what would happen when I charged in.”

I nodded in understanding. Despite how much I wanted to help Krystal and the others, it was foolish of me to rush into things. I knew that in my head; however, my heart kept going out to them. Especially her.

“My biggest mistake,” Master Stradus said in a hoarse voice, “was that I forgot my training in the heat of battle. Battles are tricky. Time doesn’t move, and then it moves far too fast. Your emotions, the sights, the smells, and the sounds will panic and confuse you. It did me. It was as if everything I had ever learned left me in the most critical moment. People died because of it.” Master Stradus wiped away some tears that had fallen down his face. “I train you so you won't make the same mistake I did. Remember that in the coming days, Hellsfire.”

I nodded. “I will, Master.”

“Good. As soon as we're done eating, we'll restock your potions. Then we’ll go.”

I didn't eat more than a couple of nibbles of my food. After hearing Master Stradus's story, I just wasn't hungry anymore. My mind kept thinking about what he had said. There was so much to learn. I started to imagine all the ways I could mess things up. I sighed. I had to trust in my training to take over when I needed it, as it had when I was buried in the bog. I couldn’t let anyone down; I couldn’t let anyone die. These thoughts weighed me down.

----

Finally, I gave up on breakfast. My stomach wouldn’t stop churning. Master Stradus had said for me to gather my things while he got the potions that had set overnight, and then meet him out front. I hurried, wanting to see Cynder alone.

Cynder was in the largest cave, practicing aerial maneuvers in the limited space. He dodged invisible enemies and weapons. When he saw me, he paused in midflight, hovering.

“What do you want, little human?” Cynder asked. “Can't you see I'm busy?”

“Doesn't look like you're busy to me. Looks like you're just flying around.”

Cynder snorted smoke. “I'm getting ready for battle, just like you should be.” He landed right beside me, his massive body looming over me. “Lucky for you, our master will be there to help you. What do you want?”

There wasn't much Master Stradus hadn’t told me about what to expect, but there was a question I hadn’t asked. It was something I thought he was no longer able to relate to, and the fact that we were about to leave had pushed it to the forefront of my mind. “I've come to ask you a question.”

“As I've told you a thousand times, I don't know why the gods made you bipedal creatures so ugly. I suppose they had a reason for making you soft and without scales. After all, not every creature can be great and beautiful, like us dragons.” Cynder craned his neck and grinned.

I was serious for once, but he didn't seem to be. “Forget it.” I turned and started to walk away.

“Wait,” Cynder said. “Ask your question.”

I stopped and stared into his red eyes. Seeing the seriousness in them, I took a deep breath. “All right. You dragons live so long, yet you’re not immortal. I wanted to know if you're scared of dying.”

Cynder paused and seemed to consider this. “I do not fear what does not exist.”

I scratched my head, trying to see if this was another riddle of his. The lack of a smile told me it wasn’t. “You don’t believe in death? Does that mean you believe in an afterlife?”

Cynder shook his elongated head. “That's not it. You don't understand because—”

“I'm a human.”

“It's about time you learned that.” Cynder laughed. I didn’t even smile. He stopped and became serious again. “Dragons are the pinnacle of the gods' creations. We learn what we can in this life, and when we pass on, we ascend and become part of everything.”

“What about us humans?”

Cynder gave the dragon equivalent of a shrug. “I'm not a god or one of your priests. Maybe there is an afterlife for you, or maybe something else entirely happens to wizards.” He gave a dragon smile when he looked at my face. “Is that what you're worried about? Dying?”

“It's one of the things.”

“What are the others?”

I hesitated for a moment. Cynder might be a pain, he might make fun of me and get me into trouble, but he was also a friend. I stared into his red eyes, seeing the ancient wisdom and perspective a dragon had. I told him what I had recently told our master—my fears of not being ready, not being strong enough, of letting people down.

“That's good,” Cynder said after I was finished.

“Good?”

“Yes. Fear can push you. You, being young and a human, have a lot of fears. Just focus on one and let it guide you. Don't fail your friends. Fight for the princess.” Cynder stretched his long neck and winked. I had told him too much.

“That's it?”

“Yes.”

“But Master Stradus said—”

“Yes, yes, I know. I'm not saying to do it as a wizard. Be you. Humans can do amazing things with or without magic.”

 
I stood there, thinking about his words. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. I couldn't worry about dying. I had to worry about my friends, and let my fears for their safety drive me to use my magic correctly.

Cynder blew smoke in my face. I coughed, trying to clear my lungs. I frowned at him. “What'd you do that for?”

“You were getting all serious on me, with that thoughtful, sad look on your face. Let's play before our master comes. It might be our last time.”

“Are you worried you might die too?”

Cynder snorted. “Hardly.” He put a talon to his chest and said, “I'm not one of you soft creatures. Don't worry, little Hellsfire, the master and I won't let you die. If anyone is going to kill you, it's going to be me.” Cynder grinned, showing off his rows of pointy teeth.

“Thanks for the advice, Cynder. I appreciate it.”

“I
am
a dragon. There's no wiser creature. Even wizards bow to our wisdom.” Cynder raised his tail and swung at me. The massive armored tail could have killed me, but he slowed it at the last second and gently tapped me on the head with the diamond-shaped tip. “Tag. You're it.” Cynder took off and flew over my head, heading into the other parts of the caves.

I smiled, pushing aside the thought that this might be the last time we got to play together, and chased after him.

I reached the entrance of the caves, letting the cold air wash over me. I bent over with my hands on my knees, gasping for air. That oversized dragon was faster than he appeared.

Cynder had his back to me, staring at the landscape below. He craned his long neck towards Alexandria. As soon as I recovered, I tip-toed across the snowy ground, sneaking closer to him. I had to be careful. I’d done this before and he always moved at the last second. If he did that this time, I could go falling right off the mountain. I was just about to touch his swaying tail when I was interrupted.

“Are you two ready?” Master Stradus asked. I froze. “Hellsfire, come here and take some of these potions.”

I nodded, taking the potions from him and putting them in my purse.

“Looks like today is going to be a nice day,” I said to myself, peering past the constant winter storm of the White Mountain.

“Whenever there’s warfare, it’s never a nice day,” Master Stradus said as he climbed on top of Cynder.

“Agreed,” Cynder said. “Prepare yourself, Hellsfire. Today, you will see how your race really is.”