Cat and Company (17 page)

It was impossible. Devlin was just…
wrong
. He wasn’t tall enough, strong enough, warm enough.

Then he pulled her up against him, so their bodies met. The unexpected move sucked her breath from her. She gasped and gripped his shoulders but before she could push him away, he lifted her chin so that she was forced to look him in the eyes again. “Hold still. Feel it,” he said. His voice was very low now and she could feel the vibrations against her torso. The heat was…how had she thought he was cool?

“I’m going to let you go in a second,” he said. “First, I want you to remember how this feels. I want you to agree to consider this moment in the days ahead. Think about what it might feel like if I were to kiss you. That’s all I ask…that you think about it.”

“I’ll…try,” she said at last.

“For now, I’ll be content if you try.”

He let her go and moved away from her and Catherine sucked in a deep breath, the first proper breath since he had pulled her up against him. She pressed her hand to the table, not quite propping herself up.

“I…I should go.” Her voice was weak.

“You should,” Devlin agreed, with a small smile.

She almost stumbled out of the suite, her mind whirling and her body wracked with hot and cold waves of emotions. Guilt and horror were the strongest of them. Just for a second, for a tiny fraction of a moment, when he had let her go….had she really felt regret?

Charlton Space City, New Cathay (Ji Xiu Prime), Ji Xiu System, Perseus Arm. FY 10.187

“You’re
still
down that rabbit hole, Connell?” Bedivere asked, looking over Connell’s shoulder at the boards on the table in front of him. “It’s been months. I don’t remember how I ended up in the pits. When are you going to give up on that?”

Connell sat back in his chair and blew out his breath. “Never,” he said shortly.

“It bothers him that there isn’t a nice, neat answer,” Lilly said from her desk. “Just like any good Varkan would be bothered.”

“I don’t see Yennifer digging through the bioscans,” Connell said with a growl.

“That’s because she has a full-time job already,” Lilly replied. “And aren’t you supposed to be jumping your bus over to Sunita today?”

“Once the city is spinning,” Connell said. “Another Sunita-Soward-Sunterry run.”

“Profitable?” Bedivere asked curiously. He preferred freight runs, which had higher overheads, and none of the headaches of moving people around. Connell had built up a fleet of public transports, including the “bus” that could carry eighty people, and a handful of smaller capacity vessels.

“Very profitable, thank you,” Connell said with a grin. “I can’t keep up with demand.”

“No one can,” Brant said from the sofa.

“We cut travel time between systems down to the few minutes needed to maneuver away from the sides of the station and back…and all that saved time is being used up by people travelling even
more
.” Connell shook his head.

“Basic economic theory,” Bedivere told him. “Travel has become a commodity, not a luxury. The price and inconvenience has dropped to the point where travelling between systems is built into the culture instead of being a rare oddity.”

“I know that,” Connell said dryly. “I was a datacore coordinator, originally, remember?”

“Here we go,” Lilly called.

Bedivere sat next to Brant to watch the heads-up floating just above the coffee table. The feed was the city’s official one, coordinated by one of Yennifer’s AIs. The view on the screen was an on-high viewpoint of the main market square in City Central, with the blue flooring, the sweeping stairs up to the various levels and the dome over the top of it all. Sunlight was dappling the floors and making the stairs gleam.

The old city core where this suite was located was showing signs of age and was riddled with corridors and closed-in levels because it had begun life as a derelict space station. City Central had been the first deliberately engineered component added to Charlton and the public area had been designed for spaciousness and light. It was a meeting place, a market and a public venue.

Right now, the first landing on the central staircase was being used as a stage. It was a big landing and oval in shape, echoing the curve of the steps above and below. There was a display board set up at the back of the landing, showing a brilliant white screen.

Devlin Woodward stood in front of it. Catherine was next to him, looking comfortable and at ease under the scrutiny of the feeds and the thousands of people packed onto the floor below, and leaning over the railings of the tiers around them.

That was a new thing for Cat, Bedivere realized. She had spent a lifetime avoiding public attention. He didn’t for a moment think she welcomed it now, or sought it out, but Devlin had taught her how to deal with it in a constructive way. She used her fame to help him.

Bedivere let out his breath.

“Okay?” Connell asked quietly, from right behind him.

“Yeah,” Bedivere said.

“How is it that you’re not there with Devlin, Lilly?” Brant asked.

Lilly came and sat on the arm of the sofa next to him, to watch the screen. “It’s their project. Their idea.” She nodded at the screen, where Nichol August and Yennifer and a handful of Varkan stood around Devlin and Catherine. “I didn’t think it was possible to put spin on the city, yet they proved me wrong. So they should get the limelight today.”

Brant picked up her hand. “I’m still proud of you, even if you are a stubborn little engineer underneath all that sophistication.”

Lilly rolled her eyes. “You love the sophistication too, buster. Or should I throw out all my dresses?”

“Not the green one, please,” Brant said quickly.

“It’s starting,” Connell warned. He brought the sound up.

“...thought we’d keep the ceremony very short today,” Devlin said, “as actions speak louder than words.” He glanced to his left, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. With a start, Bedivere realized he was looking at Cat. A private joke?

Then Devlin’s attention returned to the crowds of people below. “You’ve all come to see our city spin. So let’s kick it into gear. Yennifer, let’s start stage one.”

Yennifer nodded. “Started,” she said flatly, in processing mode.

“For those of you who haven’t been bored to death by endless repeats of the process, let me summarize for you,” Devlin said, earning a small ripple of laughter. “Stage one is the firing of all the engines. The trick is to make sure they all fire and thrust simultaneously. Each engine must provide the same amount of thrust as all the others. If they did not, if one side of the city was pushed harder than the other, the resulting torque would stress the structures of the city itself, like a giant wringing it in his hands.”

“Did someone write this for him?” Brant asked.

“He uses crib notes only,” Lilly said, her voice distant as she concentrated. “No rehearsals, no reading. Straight off the top of his head.”

“Show-off,” Connell said shortly, sounding disgusted.

“Stage one is the ignition stage,” Devlin added. “We switch very quickly into—”

“Stage two achieved,” Yennifer said, interrupting him.

“—into Stage Two,” Devlin continued smoothly. “To avoid the same sheering stresses, each engine must ramp up the degree of thrust at the same rate. The rate of thrust will increase quickly, until all engines are at maximum, where they will hold until the desired speed of the spin has been achieved.” He lifted his gaze to the dome overhead. “Listen…”

Silence.

Under his feet, Bedivere could feel a mild tremor.

“Vibrations,” Connell said.

“Sweet savior….” Brant murmured. He leaned down and put his hand on the floor. “We’re actually moving?”

“A calendar could outpace us at the moment, but yes, we’re moving,” Lilly said.

“And now, as the rate of spin increases,” Devlin said, “we should all be able to see it. Watch and wait.”

He looked behind him, where one of the Varkan stepped up to the white screen. Across the screen ran the shadow of one of the support struts that crisscrossed the surface of the dome. The Varkan drew a line matching the shadow and stepped away.

The feed focused on the shadow and the line. After what felt like long moments, the shadow moved away from the line, by a tiny fraction. Bedivere thought he might be imagining it, so he dipped into the digital source of the feed and measured it objectively. “It’s moving,” he said softly.

“I can see white between the shadow and the line now,” Brant said. “We really are moving.”

Apparently, so could everyone else see the growing width between the shadow and the line. They began cheering and clapping, jumping up and down and celebrating.

Nichol hugged Yennifer, who was still operating in digital mode and merely gave him a soft smile, her gaze unfocused.

The Varkan on the stage were thumping each other on the shoulders, hugging and laughing. They shook Devlin’s hand and clapped him on the back, too. Then Devlin turned to Cat, swept her up with one arm, held her against him firmly…

…and kissed her.

Bedivere froze. Even his heart stopped for one endless moment.

He heard Lilly’s gasp, because the room had become just as silent and still as he had.

Bedivere couldn’t look away from the screen. It was no light touch of the lips. Devlin was kissing Catherine with the ease and familiarity of a lover.

“Turn it off,” Brant said quickly, his voice hoarse.

“No, it’s fine,” Bedivere said.

The display fragmented as the pixels dissolved, then disappeared.

The awful quiet held, even more intense now the cheering and screaming on the feed had been silenced.

Lilly got to her feet. “Bedivere…” Her face was white.

He looked up at her. “I’m fine,” he repeated. “Really.”

Everyone was studying him now. Connell looked puzzled and Brant’s expression was thoughtful.

Bedivere shook his head. “She’s entitled to be happy. If Devlin makes her happy, then good.”

Brant stroked his throat, considering Bedivere. “Would you be saying that if it wasn’t Devlin Woodward?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Bedivere said honestly. “But it
is
Devlin.”

“The greatest human alive today,” Brant added. There was a very slight emphasis on the word “human”.

“Brant?” Lilly said, puzzled.

“Nothing,” Brant said. He rose and headed for the sideboard.

“I don’t want a drink, if that’s what you’re doing,” Bedivere called out.

“You may not, but I do,” Brant said and unstopped the decanter.

“Me, too,” Connell said.

Lilly was still studying him with something that looked a lot like pity in her eyes. “Don’t,” Bedivere told her.

She drew herself up straighter. “How do you stand it?” she asked quietly.

Bedivere opened his mouth to answer and realized what he was going to say and closed it again.

Lilly and Brant and Connell were in shock because they accepted it. The idea of Devlin and Cat together as a couple made sense to them. Devlin was Catherine’s match in stature, reputation, power and goodness, so they swallowed it without question.

While he couldn’t stand the idea at all. His mind had blanked out for one awful moment, then come back online in full denial mode. That was actually a good thing, because he had no intention of letting that terrible image coalesce into indisputable fact. He was going to fight it with every fiber of his rotten, undeserving soul.

* * * * *

Catherine found Devlin in the second boardroom, watching the sun through the steel glass roof. He got to his feet when she strode in and held out his hands. “I’m sorry,” he said swiftly. “I acted without thinking.”

“You’ve never put a foot wrong in public in your life,” Catherine railed. “You did that
deliberately
. A kiss! I’m disappointed in you, Devlin. It’s…amateurish!”

“No, it was heartfelt,” he replied flatly.

“Don’t give me that. You were in performance mode. If you think trying to seduce me will earn you some sort of public kudos then you’re making a huge mistake. I will have your balls for this, Devlin. You don’t get to use me. No one does!” Her chest was heaving with the power of her fury. “I spent
centuries
staying out of the public eye for this very reason. Cadfael College, the Ammonites, even the Federation, they all wanted a piece of me. They wanted to parade me out in front of everyone as their pet. The descendent of Glave himself!” She spat it out.

“You’re right,” he said quietly. “If I was trying to use you as a political pawn, then you would be entitled to cut me to pieces. I’d deserve no less.”

“Then why do it?” she demanded.

He had pushed a hand deep into his pocket. She could see his fist outlined by the fabric of his trousers. She could see it tighten.

“I made a mistake. As I said.”

“You?
You
made a mistake?”

“I’m human. I let my emotions break through. It was an error, Catherine.”

She stared at him, still breathing hard, trying to sort out what he meant.

“I don’t mean that kissing you was a mistake,” he added. “Doing it in public like that—it was not what I had planned. The first time I kissed you was going to be far more…intimate.”

Catherine couldn’t move past the novel idea that Devlin could screw up. “What could possibly make you of all people miscalculate like that?”

Devlin let out a gusty breath. “Because I love you and have for years. Because I can’t stop thinking about you. Because I want you in my life and I feel like I’m so close to maybe finding out what that might be like. Because how I felt, for one magical moment out there, was stronger than any self-discipline I could muster. I wanted to kiss you. I have for a very long while. And suddenly, I couldn’t wait.” He hesitated. “As I said, I’m sorry. It didn’t happen the way I wanted it to, either.”

Catherine pressed her fingers into the padded back of the nearest chair. Her anger had evaporated. Fear had replaced it. “Devlin, I….”

He shook his head. “Don’t say anything. Not now. The only reason I told you that is because it is the truth, and you would not settle for an explanation that was anything less that raw truth. So now you have it.” He gave her a small smile. “I’m a patient man. Most of the time. I can wait forever, if you’ll just agree to give me a chance. That’s all I’m asking from you, Catherine. A skerrick of hope.”