Casual (Sex) Friday (66 Faces) (6 page)

The drive over to Freemont was quiet. Calvin walked Ben to his door. "Wanna come in?" Ben asked, leaning against Calvin for support.

"Nah. Gotta get up to go to work tomorrow."

Ben was very disappointed, and it must have shown on his face. Calvin tapped under his chin. "Hey, if I come in I'll never leave. I can't go to work dressed like this."

"You should," Ben mumbled. It would be a vast improvement over Calvin's work clothes. But then maybe other people would notice how sexy his ass looked in jeans, and then Ben would have competition. That would not be good. No, Calvin could keep his work clothes. Ben would just have to remember him naked. Yes. Naked Calvin. Mmm. Ben shifted his body so that he was chest to chest with Calvin.

"Hey Ben?" Calvin leaned closer to Ben, bringing their lips within an inch of one another. Ben's very drunk heart really liked that.

"Yeah?" he whispered.

Calvin leaned forward, slowly cushioning their lips together before pulling back. "Next Friday …" Calvin rubbed his thumb across Ben's lower lip. "Say yes."

Warmth spread throughout Ben's body. Before his mind could catch up and respond, Calvin leaned forward and kissed him again. Ben thought he could get addicted to these Calvin kisses. He wound an arm around Calvin's waist and pulled them together, as close as he possibly could.

Calvin broke away and propped Ben against his door. "See ya at work." He waved and gave Ben a happy smile. And then he left. Ben watched until Calvin vanished around the corner, and then he went inside, and went to bed.

Bleep Bleep.

Ben smacked his hand in random places towards the direction of his nightstand.

Bleep Bleep Bleep Bleep
.

Ben hit the nightstand several more times until the shrill discordant blare of the clock ceased.

His head, his body, ugh, everything hurt. Going into the office wasn't going to happen. He wanted to see Calvin, but it was too painful to move.

Ben got up slowly, careful not to move his head. He needed to get to his computer and let his coworkers know he wouldn't be in the office that day. It took twenty minutes, but he was finally able to send the email. He'd do his work at home, in the dark silence of his apartment.

By noon he felt almost human again. He set his work Communicator status to "Away" and went off in search of food. He found himself at the kitchen table with a cutting board, some cheese, and vegetables. It reminded him of Calvin, Calvin who hadn't tried to contact him all morning. But Ben hadn't tried either. What would he say, anyway? "Hi, you made me come harder than I have in years"? Not really something he wanted preserved for eternity in the company's big log of employee communication.

When Ben went to work on Tuesday he didn't see Calvin in the morning. This wasn't exactly unusual. They worked in different groups and their cubicles were on opposite sides of the floor. Typically, Ben would only see Calvin on Fridays when Calvin asked him out. However, Ben wanted to see Calvin now, so after lunch he walked to Calvin's department with the excuse of talking to Zach, another coworker of theirs. Which he needed to do anyway, but normally he would just IM.

On his way back to his desk, Ben passed the entrance of Calvin's cube. Calvin was there leaning toward his monitor and fingers pounding the keyboard. Clearly from the folds of fabric surrounding his body, he was wearing his too-baggy business casual clothes again. Ben frowned; they were so unflattering.

Ben leaned against the entrance to Calvin's cube. He must have made a noise or jostled the walls because Calvin spun around, wide-eyed and startled.

"Geez, Ben, you scared the crap out of me."

Ben gave Calvin a slight smile and shrugged. "Sorry."

Calvin relaxed and leaned back in his chair. He gave Ben a quick up and down causing Ben to shift his weight self-consciously. "So …" Calvin drawled, "what's up?"

Ben shrugged. He had just wanted to see Calvin, he hadn't thought beyond that. "Just, you know, came to see Zach."

Calvin raised an eyebrow. "Mmhmm. Well … welcome to our area. It’s such a rare honor."

Ben grinned at the sarcasm in Calvin’s voice. "Yeah well …"

"You weren't here yesterday."

Ben was pleasantly surprised that Calvin noticed. He shrugged. "I was rather hung over."

Calvin just smiled that serene, cool-as-a-cucumber smile of his. Ben didn’t really know what to say, and it looked like Calvin wasn't going to carry the conversation. "Uh, I should probably get back to my desk."

"Okay Ben." Calvin nodded, his serene smile turned into a smirk. "See you tomorrow."

Ben quickly retreated back to his side of the floor.

Wednesday during lunch, Ben was sitting in the employee break room staring idly out the window. It was much too nice a day to be working; the weather had cooled a bit, the skies were clear, and if he were outside there would have been a gentle breeze. It was the perfect day to sit outside and just be. Except for that whole Wednesday being a workday thing.

He sighed and bit into his sandwich. He’d forgotten to put mayo on it, and it was dry and pasty. As he washed it down with some tea, Calvin and another man entered the room. Calvin probably wouldn't notice Ben in his corner, but Ben had a clear view. It was odd, seeing Calvin two days in a row.

Ben took another bite of his sandwich and washed it down.

Calvin and the man sat at a table and unpacked their lunches. Ben narrowed his eyes. Something was off. They sat too close together—instead of sitting across from one another they sat at adjacent sides of the small square table. The man kept touching Calvin. They were random touches, but Ben still didn’t like it.

An emotion that Ben hadn't felt in years—jealousy over another man—was slowly moving through him. Part of him marveled at feeling it at all. Another part of him—the part in control of his motor functions—hastily tossed his half-eaten sandwich, orange, and pretzels back into the brown paper lunch bag. He pushed back his chair and walked toward Calvin's table. Calvin looked up just as he got there. "Hey, Ben. Twice in a week and it's not even Friday. Must be a record for us."

Any other time Ben might have teased back. Instead, he dropped his lunch on the table and sat down opposite Calvin's lunch companion. "I'm Ben. I work in performance."

The stranger nodded and said, "Fred. Testing."

Ben unpacked his lunch and restarted the cycle of biting and washing down his dry sandwich. He kept his gaze on his food while Calvin and Fred made stilted and awkward attempts at conversation. Were they normally so conversationally inept, or was Ben putting a dampener on things? Either way, Ben didn't care. The random touches had stopped. Occasionally he felt Calvin looking at him, but he ignored it. The orange was fascinating, after all. Fred left just as Ben ate the last wedge of orange.

"You're sulking."

Ben's gaze shot to Calvin. "Am not."

"Are too. I've never seen you act like that."

Ben shrugged. "Bad day."

"Yeah right. I'm going to pretend you're jealous."

Why pretend? That was exactly what it was. But Ben would be damned if he was going to share that. "Whatever makes you happy."

"Fred's kind of an ass. But he's usually pretty funny. Can't decide whether to be creeped out by him or just ignore it."

Creeped out, Ben thought. Calvin should definitely be creeped out. And avoid Fred. Instead of telling Calvin that, he just said, "He seemed … touchy-feely."

Calvin barked out a laugh. "Yeah, he is." Calvin played with the bottle cap from his drink for a minute then laughed again. "You
are
jealous! I—"

"Am not."

"—Can't believe it. You are actually jealous. Oh, sweet, sweet victory. I can feel it within my grasp."

Ben rolled his eyes. "I am not jealous. I just saw you sitting here."

"Mm hmm."

"It would have been rude to ignore you."

"Right."

Ben glared at Calvin, gathered up the remains of his lunch, and got up. "I'm done. See you later, Calvin."

Calvin winked at him. "Later, Ben."

On Thursday, Ben waffled about adding Calvin to his IM list so that he could monitor his presence at work. If he added him, Calvin would be notified. He'd know Ben was watching him. Which might not be a bad thing, but it would be telling. In the end, he added Calvin anyways. He waited for some sort of gloating IM, but it never came.

He thought his action had gone unnoticed until a quarter 'til noon. An IM window popped open on his screen from Calvin, asking Ben if he wanted to go out to lunch. Ben smiled briefly, but then frowned. This didn't count as a date did it? Surely not. So Ben agreed.

They met at the elevators. As soon as they left the building, the heat hit Ben like a brick wall. The pleasant temperatures earlier in the week had spiked into the upper nineties. Sweat was already beading on his neck. They should have stayed in the air-conditioned building. They took the bus down to Pioneer Square where there were places with plenty of shade in which to seek refuge.

During lunch, Calvin babbled about the previous night's Mariners game. Ben still didn't care about baseball, but Calvin was excited. His eyes were bright and smiling; his hands were moving all over the place, illustrating a batter swinging and missing or a ball flying in the air. Ben knew he was smiling. Calvin stopped speaking mid hand wave.

"What?" Ben asked.

"I thought you didn’t like baseball." Calvin looked like he was trying not to laugh.

Ben suppressed a chuckle, not really succeeding. "I don't."

"Huh. Well … what about the Sounders?"

"Ah. Now the Sounders I do like. Only for the crowd, though. They're insane." Ben shook his head, laughing. He loved how crazy the soccer fans were before games. Marching to the game in a merry parade of green and blue.

Calvin laughed. "That they are."

When they got back to the office, the air-conditioning was a relief. Ben sat alone at his desk absorbing the cool air and shivering as the sweat dried away from his body. He had enjoyed lunch and had especially enjoyed Calvin’s company. How odd that he had thought Calvin was boring before, since that wasn't the case at all. He spun around in his chair a couple times, looking forward to the next day when Calvin would come by after work and repeat the ritual of asking Ben out.

Five o'clock on Friday and Ben tried not to look like he was watching the entrance to his cube. He hadn't seen or talked to Calvin all day. Not online. Not at his desk. Not during lunch. Ben began worrying; what if Calvin didn't come by? What if this was some form of ultimate revenge for saying "No" to him for three months? Would he do that? It seemed un-Calvin-like, but some guys were jerks. Ben really didn't think Calvin was a jerk though. Not really.

Ben sighed and turned to his desk trying to decide what to take home for the weekend. He put his work-dishes in the gym bag to take home and wash. Didn't even bother with the book on optimizing cache performance—if he was going to read that thing he was doing so on company time. He put his laptop in the bag. And … there was nothing else. No reason to stay. He checked his cell phone, and his heart sank, stupidly disappointed that there were no missed calls or texts. He poked his head out of his cube and looked down the aisle, but there was no Calvin. He looked at the clock one last time. If Calvin were coming, he would have appeared by now. Ben sighed and picked up his gym bag off of his chair.

He walked slowly to the elevator. Still no Calvin. The doors slid open and Ben forced himself to leave the building. It was another gorgeous summer day, a little on the hot side—the weatherman was threatening another week with highs in the uppers nineties.

He didn't know where to go. He had expected to be going somewhere with Calvin. He didn't want to call Sarah for drinks because then he'd have to admit how pathetic he'd been, pining over Calvin and then … did Calvin stand him up? It felt like it.

Ben found himself walking the familiar path to the waterfront park. There was an unusually high number of tourists downtown, and the sheer number of bodies around him coupled with the heat made him agitated. He was beginning to regret not hopping on a bus (that was sure to have been packed and standing room only) and going home. He hoped that the tourists hadn't discovered the park. Sometimes, somehow they did. It was just a little too far north of downtown to be obvious and attractive to tourists, but occasionally they found it.

As he got farther from downtown, the number of people lessened slightly. When he got to the park, there were fewer people there than normal. Maybe even the locals thought it was too hot to spend the late afternoon frying in the sun. Ben walked until he found an empty bench by the path where he could see Puget Sound. He arranged himself and his bag so the entire seat was occupied and uninviting.

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. The sun felt good and the heat wasn't quite as oppressive as it had been when he was walking. There was a slight breeze coming off the water, and the sounds of children playing and people talking were pleasant. But it was impossible to enjoy, because Calvin hadn't asked him out again.

Ben thought that there might have actually been something between the two of them. The drunken kiss at his door … there was definitely something there. For the millionth time, Ben reexamined the previous weekend. Friday was a little weird. Calvin had been kind of an ass. But Sunday was … it had been fun. Ben so rarely had
fun
. He wanted more of it. Calvin was fun. His friends were fun, if not a little nosey.

After a while, Ben looked at his watch. He'd been there for an hour. He should go home. Eat. See if Sarah wanted to get together. Except he didn't want Sarah. Maybe he'd catch up on the TV he'd missed during the week instead.

Ben looked around, watching groups of people on the grass chatting happily. What would it be like to have people like that? Laughing and hanging out. Brad had done such a number on him—he distrusted everyone he had met since then and second-guessed everyone he knew. Now he was lonely.