Casting Shadows (6 page)

My house was only fifteen minutes’ walk away from James’s and it felt good to be strolling along in the sunshine. Above me, the sky was clear – it looked like today was going
to be another beautiful day. I sighed with contentment. And then I saw Emmi. She was walking towards me, her eyes focused on her phone. She glanced up. Saw me. A second later and we were right in
front of each other. We stopped walking. I gulped, feeling awkward.

Up until Flynn’s return in March, Emmi had been my best friend. Smart, pretty and outrageously self-confident, she had taken me and Grace under her wing during our first term at Langton
Girls Grammar nearly six years ago. The three of us had been inseparable.

‘Hi, River.’ Emmi sounded guarded.

Well, her tone wasn’t really surprising. The two of us hadn’t met up out of school for weeks. I was the one who’d withdrawn, but Emmi hadn’t helped. You see, at the start
of the year Emmi’s boyfriend Alex had accused Flynn of stealing his iPad. But I found out, back in March, that Alex had only pretended the iPad was missing in order to get his parents to
claim a better version on the insurance. For reasons which I couldn’t now remember, I’d promised never to tell Emmi that I knew.

Like most of the other things I’d ever promised to keep quiet about, this had turned out to be a mistake. It’s hard to be best friends with someone when you’re keeping such a
massive secret from them. Anyway, like I said, Emmi hadn’t made it easy to carry on being friends. Even though it was obvious, when the iPad turned up, that Flynn couldn’t have stolen
it, Emmi still made snide comments about him . . . about how I was better off without him. This was bad enough when Flynn and I were apart but it was doubly hard to take once we were secretly back
together.

‘Hi, Emmi.’ I smiled. ‘How are you doing?’

Emmi shrugged. ‘Fine.’ She looked angry. Was that because I hadn’t called her? The truth was that I’d wanted, many times over the past three months, to tell Emmi that
Flynn was back from Ireland and that we were seeing each other again but it was just too risky. I couldn’t trust that she wouldn’t tell Alex and, if Alex found out I was sure he’d
try and get Flynn into trouble again. Still, now I’d told Mum and Dad, it didn’t really matter who knew.

‘It’s good to see you, Riv.’ Emmi sniffed.

I peered more closely at her. Perhaps she wasn’t mad at me after all. She seemed more miserable than cross. Under her expert make-up, her skin, normally smooth and tanned, was blotchy and
the whites of her velvety-brown eyes looked pink and sore. Had she been
crying?

Are you okay, Em?’ I couldn’t believe she wasn’t. Emmi was always so sure of herself . . . and she led a charmed life. At home her parents spoiled her, at school the teachers
loved her and she was universally popular. Alex adored her and, wherever she went, boys fell at her feet. I couldn’t imagine what would make her so upset.

Emmi’s mouth wobbled. Huge tears welled up in her eyes and her mouth crumpled.

‘Oh, Emmi.’ I forgot the distance of the past few months and just felt for my friend. I put my arms around her and she sobbed into my shoulder. ‘What’s the
matter?’

Emmi pulled back, sniffing and wiping her eyes. ‘Nothing.’ A fresh tear trickled down her cheek.

‘Emmi?’ I raised my eyebrows. ‘Come on.’

‘Okay.’ She sniffed again. ‘Me and Alex split . . . he dumped me.’

My mouth fell open. I couldn’t imagine why Alex would give Emmi up – she was gorgeous and smart and, I knew for a fact, most of his friends envied him massively for having her as a
girlfriend.

‘What?
Why?’
I said.

Emmi’s cheeks pinked. ‘He found me with someone else.’

I stared at her. ‘Who?’

‘No one you know . . . just a guy I met the other day. It didn’t mean anything.’ She sighed. ‘It didn’t mean
anything.
I was just messing about.’

‘Did you explain that to Alex?’ I said. My mind flashed back to that kiss with James. That had meant nothing.
Less
than nothing.

Emmi nodded. ‘Thing is . . .’ she hesitated. ‘It wasn’t the first time it . . . that had happened. Alex said he couldn’t trust me anymore.’

‘Oh, I see.’ I guess that did put a different slant on it. Still, poor Emmi. And poor Alex.

I gazed around. The Broadway was bustling, a busy Monday morning. Everything felt strange . . . me and Flynn sleeping together last night . . . my row with Mum and Dad and them not calling me .
. . and now bumping into Emmi and us talking like old friends even though we weren’t so close anymore . . .

‘Well, don’t take this the wrong way, Emmi, but maybe it was meant to be. I mean, if you really liked Alex you wouldn’t have kept going off with other people, would you? So . .
. so maybe it’s not such a bad thing you’ve broken up . . .’

Emmi’s forehead crinkled into a frown. She pushed back her long, wavy brown hair with a typically haughty flick of the hand. ‘Of
course
it’s not a bad thing. I’m
just upset he dumped me . . . you know, before I had a chance to dump him.’

I burst out laughing. That was so typical of Emmi. I felt a wave of affection for her wash over me. Yes, she was abrasive and shallow sometimes, but she was also funny and quick –
qualities which, if I was honest, Grace lacked and which I missed.

Emmi laughed too, her face lighting up. Two guys walked past as she did so and they both stared, mesmerised by her pretty face.

‘I don’t think you’ll have any problem finding a new boyfriend,’ I said, rolling my eyes.

Emmi giggled. ‘Oh, who wants a boyfriend! Say, River, are you going anywhere right now? D’you fancy getting a drink at Melon Head?’

Melon Head was the latest juice bar that had opened up in Crouch End. I hadn’t been there yet but I’d heard lots of good reports.

‘Sure, I was only going home,’ I said, grimacing. ‘And anything that puts off having to talk to Mum is a good thing.’

‘Really?’ Emmi linked arms with me and we strolled down the street to the juice bar. Inside, Melon Head was cool, all chrome and mirrors. I was certain the drinks were going to be
expensive. Still, Emmi always had loads of money and, right now, I felt kind of reckless about everything.

‘What’s up with you and your mum?’ Emmi asked.

I took a deep breath.

‘Mum found out something,’ I said.

Emmi looked up. ‘What?’

‘It’s Flynn. He came back from Ireland a few months ago,’ I said, deciding just to come straight out with it. ‘He and I have been going back out in secret for a bit.
Mum’s really angry about it.’

‘Oooh.’ Emmi’s eyes widened. ‘Tell me everything.’

So I told her. We ended up charting for over an hour. I apologised for not telling her about Flynn’s return before, hinting that I was worried that if Alex had found out the news might
have got back to my parents.

To my surprise Emmi acknowledged this straight away.

‘Yeah, he always had such a downer on Flynn. You know, I think it was because he was jealous of him.’

‘Jealous?’ I said.

‘Of how Flynn didn’t care what people thought of him, mostly.’ Emmi sipped at her juice. ‘And the way Flynn seemed to get good marks in everything without ever trying.
Alex was nice but not that good at school stuff, you know? His dad was always making comparisons with his older brothers. Alex let it get to him.’

‘I had no idea,’ I said.

Emmi set down her glass.

‘I’m sorry I was always so rude about Flynn too,’ she said awkwardly. ‘I guess maybe I was a bit jealous myself – not of him personally, but of how loved-up the two
of you were . . . are . . .’ She smiled, her eyes softening.

I stared at her. Never in a million years had I imagined that Emmi would envy me and Flynn our relationship. She always seemed so happy with her own life. For the first time, it struck me how
hard it is ever to really understand another person. The thought made me shiver. Still, Flynn and I understood each other, didn’t we? That was part of what made our relationship so
special.

‘Anyway . . .’ Emmi sipped at her juice again. ‘It’s great you’re back together, Riv I’m really pleased for you.’

‘Thanks.’ I squeezed her hand.

We charted on. It was fun. I even promised Emmi I’d go round to her place at the weekend to hang out – and that I’d persuade Flynn to come to our school’s end-of-year
party the following week. He’d already said he didn’t want to go to his own prom but maybe he wouldn’t mind coming to mine with me. I hadn’t given it much thought before but
it would be fun, especially if I was never going back to that school.

That thought reminded me of Mum and Dad and our earlier argument over my moving to the commune. Suddenly I felt sure that I wanted to live there; it had been great to see Emmi – and I
would definitely miss her and Grace – but I was ready for a fresh start. Anyway, the commune wasn’t a million miles away. I’d still be able to see my London friends on a regular
basis.

I said goodbye to Emmi and set off for home. Mum would probably be in and alone when I got there. I would tackle her again, straight away, pointing out all the reasons why a fresh start at a new
sixth form college would be good for me before bringing Flynn into the argument.

It was almost one o’clock when I fitted my key into the front door. I could hear voices coming from the kitchen. Mum and Stone were talking . . .
damn,
so she wasn’t alone.
Wait, was that
Dad
weighing in too?

I scurried across the hall. The three of them were sitting around the kitchen table eating lunch – a couple of quiches and a bowl of salad stood in the middle of the table. A bottle of
wine was open too.

What was going on? I couldn’t remember the last time Mum and Dad had been together for a family meal.

The three of them looked up as I walked in. Dad smiled but Mum pursed her lips.

‘Ah, the wanderer returns,’ she said sharply.

‘Hi, sis,’ Stone said.

I looked at him in surprise. Stone spent most of his time skulking about the house, holed up in his room. I remember Mum saying he was going to a party last night. I peered more closely. Was
that a love bite on his neck? I suppressed a giggle. My sporty, lanky, fourteen-year-old brother was getting interest from girls. Could this day get any weirder?

‘What’s going on?’ I said.

Mum put down her knife and fork. They clattered against her plate. ‘I’m fed up with you treating this house like a hotel, River.’

I opened my mouth to protest but Mum held up her hand. ‘Let’s not argue about it,’ she said. ‘Your dad stayed last night so he could be here when you got back, so we
could talk.’

My mouth fell open. Dad had stayed at our house?

‘We spoke for a long time about what’s best for you,’ Mum went on. ‘You’ve made it clear that you can’t wait to get away from here and go and live on the
commune – not just for the summer, but permanently.’

She paused. I flushed with embarrassment. The way Mum was speaking, all cold and hard, made it sound like I wanted to go away from home to punish her.

‘It’s not about getting away from
you,
Mum,’ I said. ‘And you suggested me moving to the commune yourself a few months ago.’

‘I know,’ Mum said. She pursed her lips. ‘But that was only if you refused to stop seeing Flynn—’

‘Which I do.’

‘I know.’

We stared at each other. I could sense Dad and Stone watching us. A lump formed in my throat. I hated Mum being so angry with me. Tears welled in my eyes. Mum shook her head, then she sighed.
‘I don’t want you to leave, River, but I appreciate that you’re nearly seventeen and old enough to start making some of your own decisions.’

I glanced at Dad. He nodded.

‘We’ve checked out the sixth form college you’re so set on transferring to,’ Mum went on.

‘Norton Napier?’

Mum nodded. ‘Their website is very impressive and so are their results. I called them this morning and, provided you meet the entry criteria with your GCSEs, they say they’ll have a
place for you.’

‘Really?’

‘The three of us should visit this week, just to be sure,’ Dad added. ‘But if you still want to go there after the visit that’s fine with Mum and me.’

My heart thumped with excitement. And apprehension. This was
epic.
Mum was actually agreeing to me going to live with Dad. I could hardly believe it.

‘And I’m having your room here.’ Stone grinned, getting up from the table and heading for the door.

‘What?’ For a second I wanted to protest. After all, suppose I wanted to come back at some point? Still, who was to say I wouldn’t be just as happy in a new place? Or that
Stone himself wouldn’t have left home by the time college was over. After all, he was only two years younger than me.

It’s only fair, River,’ Dad said softly as Stone left the room. If you’re sure this is really what you want.’

It is, I’m
so
ready to leave Langton.’ As I said the words, my life at school flashed before my eyes. I’d been at Langton since I was eleven and I knew every nook and
cranny of the place. Life there was easy. Comfortable.

Which was part of the problem. It was
too
comfortable. I was ready for adventure, for a new life, for a new life with Flynn.

Flynn.

‘What about . . . the other thing?’ I asked.

Mum and Dad exchanged glances.

Dad cleared his throat. ‘You mean Flynn?’

I nodded, my throat suddenly dry.

‘I don’t want you seeing him,’ Mum said, folding her arms. ‘I certainly don’t want him living there with you but your father seems to think Flynn deserves a second
chance . . .’ She sniffed.

‘Everyone deserves a second chance,’ Dad said. He turned to me. ‘River, I’ve thought very carefully about Flynn joining the commune. I’ve already talked to Gemma
but I need to discuss it with everyone else who lives there. That’s how we make decisions there, everyone together.’

‘But they won’t mind,’ I said eagerly. ‘They’ll understand it’s a way of helping him, won’t they?’

‘I think so,’ Dad acknowledged. ‘Everyone’s certainly very aware that right now Flynn doesn’t have a proper home in London
and
that he’s working hard
and attending counselling sessions to deal with his anger. The commune ethos is all about shared support and when you take into account Flynn’s age and his background and all the efforts
he’s making to turn things around for himself, well, it’s impressive.’ He hesitated. ‘But Flynn’s got to jump through some hoops too.’