Casteel 05 Web of Dreams (38 page)

bottles squarely in the middle and the three burst away
from each other and off the basket.
"A WINNER!" the man behind the counter
announced, and then he reached back and took a
pudgy, little black teddy bear from the shelf and
handed it to Luke.
"For you," he said handing it to me. "It's not as
beautiful as your doll, but it's a lucky one."
"It's very beautiful and very cuddly," I said
pressing it to my cheek. "I love it. Thank you, Luke." He smiled and led me off. He bought a footlong hot dog and had it covered with all the fixings.
We started eating the hot dog. We had fun eating at it
from both sides. Our noses bumped when we reached
the middle and we laughed and laughed.
"I've got to- feed the elephants," he said. "And
then we can go in and see the clown show and
acrobats, all the circus acts, okay?"
"Sure." I followed him back to the work area.
He found a wooden case for me to sit on and watch as
he worked. He took off his shirt and seized the
pitchfork. The sun glistened off his smooth, muscular
back. He had wide shoulders that tightened and
displayed their strength as he scooped up large bites
of hay and dropped them in front of the appreciative
elephants. He worked right beside them, beside their
enormous legs, any one of which could crush a man to
death, and he stood inches from their thick, muscular
trunks, but he didn't seem afraid and the elephants
took great care not to nudge him. After he fed them
their hay, he filled large pails with water and placed
them in front of each elephant. They immediately
dipped their trunks into them. It was funny to see and
I couldn't help laughing.
"Ain't they some beautiful creatures?" Luke
asked me when he was finished. "They're so big and
strong, but so gentle. If people had their strength,
they'd be going around bashin' each other all the
time," he added bitterly. "Well. Let me wash off a bit
and then we'll go to the show. You all right?" "Yes, fine," I said still hugging my soft teddy
bear.
"You can leave that with your suitcase," he
said. "If you want."
"Okay." I went into the tent and put the stuffed
animal with my suitcase. When I came out again, I
saw Luke over by a water hose, running the water
over his head and upper body. He wiped himself
vigorously and then returned.
"Just let me brush my hair," he said. "Can't go
around lookin' bad when I'm with such a beautiful
woman," he added. Although he smiled when he said
it, I sensed he meant it and that made my heart flutter.
He went into the tent and then emerged with his hair
brushed neatly. He had such rich, soft ebony hair. I
felt like running my hand over it.
"Ready, mlady?" he asked, offering me his arm. "Yes, I am." I put my arm through his and we walked to the show tent. We could hear the barker calling the crowd to the next show and Luke's eyes lit up. As we joined the line moving through the front entrance, I felt the excitement building. There was the sense that we were about to see the greatest show on earth. Children were laughing excitedly, but even their
parents looked flushed and happy with expectation. The ticket taker just nodded at Luke and we
entered free. He hurried me around to what he said
would be the best seats in the house. Once we were
seated, he bought us bags of peanuts, a soda for me
and a beer for himself.
"How can you drink so much beer, Luke?" I
asked him. "Doesn't it make you woozy?"
"Woozy?" He laughed. "Naw. This stuff ain't
nothin' compared to the moonshine I grew up on," he
replied, but I saw Low it was beginning to make his
face red. He saw the concern in mine.
"But you're probably right about this, too," he
said raising the cup of beer. "I won't drink any more
today."
That made me feel better and I turned to the
show. The music started and the clowns came rushing
in, slapping and falling over each other, squirting each
other with water guns and dropping water-filled
balloons on each other's heads.
While the clown show went on, a young girl,
surely no more than my age, dressed in a gold
costume that glittered with multicolored sequins,
performed acrobatics on a palomino horse,
somersaulting, standing on her hands and on her head,
and flipping this way and that, taking the audience's
breath away. The announcer pointed out one act after
another: jugglers, magicians, tumblers.
A drumroll introduced the trapeze artists, and
two handsome men and a beautiful woman ran to the
center of the tent to take their bows and begin their
climb up the ropes. My heart pounded in anticipation.
There was something to see everywhere I looked.
When I turned to Luke, I saw that he had been staring
at me, a small, warm smile on his face, his eyes bright
with appreciation.
"It's exciting, isn't it?" he said. "See why I love
it?"
"Oh yes. I never realized . . . it's a wonderful
show."
"This is only the beginning," he said. "We'll see
it all."
Even in my excitement, I realized he had
entwined his fingers around mine to hold my hand softly, but I didn't mind it; I welcomed it. The music and the laughter, the spectacular performances and constant banter about the various acts, the applause and air of excitement, turned hours into minutes and minutes into seconds. I lost track of time and place. While I was in the circus, I didn't even think about my situation, about my running away from home. It was
as if the world had stopped turning.
We had more to eat, hamburgers and bags of
French fries. Luke started to order another beer, but
when he saw my face, he stopped and bought himself
a soda pop, too. Then we had ice cream cones with
candy sparkles. Luke paid for everything eagerly,
even though I offered to use some of my money. "Your money is all magic money," he said. "It's
not fair. As soon as you give it to the vendors, it will
disappear in their hands."
"Luke, I can't let you pay for everything. You
work so hard for your money."
"I don't mind. I don't have much to spend it on,
and never do I get a chance to spend it on someone as
beautiful and nice as you, Leigh," he said. We were
holding hands again. For a moment I couldn't speak.
Even though we were i the tent and surrounded by
hundreds and hundreds of people, I again felt as though there was no one around us, before I knew what was happening, he leaned forward and kissed me
quickly on the lips.
"Sorry," he said. "I got so excited, I . . I . .
couldn't help myself," he stuttered.
"It's all right." I turned back to the show, but
my heart was pounding so hard, I thought it could be
heard above the laughter and clamor around us. Luke
said nothing, but every once in a while, we looked at
each other and smiled.
It wasn't until after the final act of this show
ended that I thought about the time. I looked at my
watch and screamed.
"Luke, look at the time! I'm going to miss my
train!"
"Don't worry," he said, but his face was twisted
with concern. We tried making our way out quickly,
but the crowd was large and people were bunched up
at all the exits. Frustrated, we waited our turn. As
soon as we emerged, we hurried across the grounds to
the work tent. Luke shot in and out with my suitcase
and teddy bear in hand. Then we got into his pickup
truck.
It didn't start. He tried it again and again. He
pounded the dashboard angrily and got out to lift the hood and fiddle with the engine. It took a while, but finally, he got it started and we were off to the station. Neither of us spoke very much; we were both thinking too hard about the time and the ride. Because the show had broken at the circus, there was a lot of traffic and quite a backup on the highway. Luke was constantly losing his temper and then apologizing. I tried calming him down. He did his best to weave in and out of lanes, but it took us nearly twice as long to
return to the station as it had to come from it. When we pulled into the parking lot, I had less
than five minutes. Luke couldn't find a place to park;
all the spaces seemed taken. Finally, he just stopped
the truck.
"I don't care if they give me a ticket," he said.
"Come on."
He scooped up my suitcase and helped me out
of the truck. Then we ran to the station. The lobby
seemed to have triple the number of people in it than
it had when I had first arrived. It was a rush hour. We
ran down the corridor to my platform and gate, but
when we arrived, my train was pulling out.
"Oh, no," I cried.
We stood there watching the train speed away. I
was stuck in Atlanta. Luke turned to me.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I should have watched the
time."
"It's my own fault." I took my suitcase from
him and looked toward the lounge with its hard
benches.
"Wait," he said taking my arm. I turned back. "I
can't let you sit here all night. I don't have much to
offer, just a mattress on a bed of hay, but . . ." "What?" I didn't absorb what he was saying
immediately. I was still stunned.
"Of course I'll sleep on another bed of hay. You
can't stay here," he pleaded.
What more can happen to me? I thought. I felt I
resembled a leaf at the mercy of the wind, tossed and
tamed this way and that, a lone leaf already carried so
far away from where it had blossomed and grown. Luke took my suitcase back and then grasped
my hand in his. I said nothing. I let him lead me away
and back into the night.

Still in a daze, I followed Luke to his truck. He opened the door and helped me in and then we started back to the circus. I just sat there, clutching my suitcase to me with my left arm and hugging Angel against me with my right.

"Don't worry, Leigh," Luke said with
assurance. "I'll be sure to get you to the train on time tomorrow. There's a gas station up ahead on the right and it has a pay phone on the side. Do you want me to pull up there so you can call your grandmother and tell her you're gonna be a day late?"

I didn't respond. I barely heard him speak. I felt like someone stuck on a merry-go-round, spinning from one side to another but getting nowhere.

"Leigh? Don'tcha think you should call her so she won't worry when you're not on the train?"
"Oh, Luke," I said, unable to hold back the river of tears that s slight to flow freely over my cheeks. "My grandmother doesn't know I'm coming. I'm running away!"
"'What?" He slowed down. "Running away?" He turned the truck onto a side road away from the traffic and stopped. "So that's why you didn't have much travelin' money. Well, why are you runnin' away from home, Leigh? Sounds to me like you were livin' high on the hog back in New England."
I cried harder. He slid over on the seat and embraced me tenderly.
"Hey, take it easy. It's all right. If a sweet and lovely person like you wanted to run away, it has to be for a good reason."
I couldn't control my sobbing. It seemed to have a mind of its own, making me shake and quiver in his arms. It made me cold and my teeth chattered. Luke tightened his embrace and ran the palm of his hand up and down my arm to warm me.
"Easy," he said and kissed me softly on the forehead and then brought his lips down my cheeks to kiss back the tears. I caught my breath and swallowed. "I've run away a hundred times myself. Heck, in a sense I'm runnin' away now, but I always manage to find ray way back somehow. You will too. You'll see," he added with encouragement.
"I don't want to find my way back," I snapped.
He nodded.
"Boy, it must've been bad."
"It was bad," I said. I took a deep breath, sat back and told him all of it. . .my parents' divorce, what I learned about my mother when I overheard her conversation with Grandma Jenkins, what Tony Tatterton was like, what Earthy was like, and what it was like modeling for the portrait doll. Then, I cried again and told him how Tony had raped me and how my mother wouldn't believe it when I told her.
"And when I found out that I was pregnant, I ran to my mother, thinking now she would have to believe me, but instead of helping me, she blamed it all on me. On me!" moaned through my tears.
Luke had turned off the engine and backed against the door of the truck listening as quietly as a church mouse. overcast night sky made it very dark in the truck. We were away from the headlights of other cars and street lights. He sat there in a dark silhouette, but I could sense how somber and thoughtful he was when I paused.
"I thought these kinds of things happened only to the hillbilly people, people in the Willies. I guess bein' all that rich ain't always what it's cracked up to be," he said. Then his voice turned stern. "I wish I had that Tony Tatterton right here. I'd twist his head until his neck twanged like a broken guitar string."
I laughed. I couldn't help it. He had such a colorful imagination.
"See? I knew I could make you feel better. Anyway, I'm sorry now I fed you all that junk food at the circus. You ain't in no condition for that. I'm taking you right to this diner I know on the way back to the circus. It's all homemade cookin', just like my ma's. In fact, the place is called Ma's Diner."
"Oh, I'm not hungry now, Luke. I'm just very tired."
"Sure. It's understandable. I know what," he said snapping his fingers. "I'll get you a room in a motel so you can be comfortable. A bed a hay in a circus tent ain't no place for a girl who's havin' a baby," he declared firmly and reached for the ignition key.
"Oh Luke, I can't let you spend your money like that. I saw how hard you work for every penny."
"You ain't got no say about it," he replied and started the truck again. I realized there was no arguing with him. When Thomas Luke Casteel had made up his mind about something, he was stubborn and determined. "You need a proper night's rest and comfortable bathroom facilities. Some of these places got television, too," he added and headed the truck back to the main highway.
He asked me to tell him more about Farthy, so I described the size of the rooms, the maze, the olympic-size pool and tennis courts, the stables and the private beach. He whistled through his teeth and shook his head.
"I knew there were rich folk, but not that rich. Sounds like this Tony Tatterton owns his own country."
"Just about."
"And he makes all this money making toys for rich people?" he asked incredulously.
"Yes," I said. "But they're very expensive toys."
"Like your doll, I guess. Why did you take it along if he made it?" he asked.
"I couldn't leave Angel behind! I held her when I cried and I held her when I laughed. She knows my secret thoughts and secret dreams and all the terrible things that happened to me. Tony Tatterton made her, but she's more me than him," I explained.
"Angel?"
"That's what I call her. My guardian angel," I said softly, expecting him to laugh at a young girl's tender and fragile world of make-believe. I imagined most boys his age would, but he didn't laugh. He smiled.
"That's nice," he said. "It's beautiful. Just like you. Know what?" he added, turning to me. "That's what I'm gonna call you from now on . . . Angel. It fits you more than Leigh does,"
My heart, that had sunken and become cold, warmed again in my chest. I felt myself blush. Then I sniffed back a tear.
"Now, why are you crying?"
"I'm crying because I was lucky to meet someone like you, someone nice. Most girls my age are afraid to travel alone because there are so many bad people out there waiting to take advantage of them, not help them. I'm sure that might have happened to me, too, if I hadn't met you."
"Yeah, but if you hadn't met me, you'd a made your train," he reminded me. "When I get caught up with circus acts ."
"I wanted to see the circus with you and I had a wonderful time there, Luke." I did because it had made me forget all my troubles for a while.
"Did you? I'm glad about that, I had a wonderful time too. It was like seem' it all for the first time when I saw it again with you. You got a fresh, clean way of lookin' at things, Angel. It kinda makes me feel ... I don't know . . more important, bigger, bein' with you," he said, nodding after he said it.
I looked away. I didn't want him to catch a glimpse of my face, for I was embarrassed to show him just how much I liked him and how much better his simple but sweet words made me feel. He wasn't someone with a great deal of formal education; he wasn't rich, and he didn't dress fancy like the boys at Allandale, but he had a hold on the world that I admired. I felt safe with him because he was able to deal with hardship and crisis. Luke Casteel was only seventeen, but he was a man.
He drove the truck up to a motel. The blue neon sign flashed "Vacancy."
"You don't have to do this, Luke," I said putting my hand on his.
"I know. I'm not doin' it because I have to. I'm doin' it because I want to. Now you just sit here with Angel and be patient. I'll be right out with the key to your room," he said and went into the motel office. I sat back and closed my eyes. He was right: I was so tired, I did need a comfortable night's rest. The excitement of traveling, the day at the circus and the shock of missing my train all left me exhausted. I actually drifted off while he was in the office getting a room. I awoke with a start when he jerked open the truck door and hopped in.
"4 C," he announced, dangling the room key. "Nice room with two double beds and a television set."
"I don't think I could keep my eyes open to watch television. You should have gotten a cheaper room."
"They're all the same price here," he explained and pulled up in front of the room. He took out my suitcase and opened the door. Clutching Angel to me, I followed him in.
It was a small room with drab gray walls and dusty-looking, light green curtains. It had two double beds with a scratched-up wooden table between them and two nightstands, one on each side. Each stand had a small lamp on it, the yellow shades stained and dusty. There were closets at Farthy that were twice the size of the room, but I didn't care. The soft mattress looked very inviting. Luke set my suitcase down and went into the bathroom, turning on the lights and inspecting everything.
"Looks like it all works. Sure you don't want somethin' to eat? What about a nice hot cup of tea? There's a restaurant a half mile down the road. It'd just take me a few minutes to go get you a warm drink. And maybe a muffin, huh? You gotta have nourishment," he said with a look of concern.
"All right," I said. "I'll wash up and get into bed."
"Great. Be back in a jiffy." He slapped his hands together and rushed out.
I had to smile again at his enthusiasm. He wanted to do things for me and he was sincere. I had put myself in a terrible spot, but I had met a true guardian angel. Maybe it all had to do with magic after all. Maybe by running away from the evil world of Farthy, I had escaped from the evil spell that had fallen over me.
I showered and changed into one of my soft, silk nightgowns and unpinned my hair. It felt ratty and dirty from all the traveling, but I was too tired to wash it and brush it out. I promised myself.I would do it in the morning. Then, with Angel beside me, I crawled under the covers of one of the double beds. It smelled starchy and the sheets were stiff, but I was far too exhausted to care. Luke knocked softly on the door and then came in with my hot tea, a corn muffin and jam, and a bottle of beer for himself. He put everything on the small nightstand by the bed and pulled the one chair up to the bed to sit on and drink his beer while he watched me drink and eat. He looked as concerned as he would were he really the expectant father. His dark eyes twinkled tenderly, lovingly.
"Aren't you hungry, too, Luke? Surely a beer is not enough."
"Naw, I'm still too excited, I suppose. Sometimes beer calms me down." He smiled and gestured at Angel. "That doll does look like you. You both have such beautiful hair," he said stroking Angel's hair tenderly.
"Angel's hair is really my hair."
"No foolin'?" I shook my head and his eyes widened. Then he leaned toward me. "I never seen anything as precious and as lovely as the two of you lying there together," he said softly.
"Thank you, Luke. You're very nice." He stared at me a moment and then stood up.
"You going to be all right here?" he asked.
"Why? Where are you going?"
"Back to my tent."
"Well, why can't you stay here? There's another bed and you paid for the room, Luke. You shouldn't have to go back to a bed of hay." I know I sounded a bit desperate, but I had never stayed in a motel room before, much less stayed in one by myself.
"Sure you don't mind?"
"Of course I don't mind."
"Well then, okay. I guess I can get up early enough to water and feed the animals."
"You can watch television, if you're not tired yet," I said lowering my head. Now that he was going to stay with me, I could relax. "It won't . . . bother me . . ."
Sleep came over me that fast, but I woke with a start in the middle of the night and forgot where I was. I couldn't help crying out in fear. Seconds later, I felt Luke beside me in the dark.
"Angel, Angel," he said, stroking my hair. "It's all right. You're safe. It's Luke. I'm right here with you. Don't you worry about a thing. I don't want you to ever worry about a thing," he added in a whisper. I realized where I was, but I was still so sleepy that I only vaguely felt his lips on my cheek and heard his words. The words seemed more like words in a dream anyway, words whispered by my guardian angel.
"I want to take care of you from now on, protect you, love you. Never again will anyone, even someone rich and powerful, hurt you. I'll take you to a world where no one evil can reach you, a world in which you will be surrounded only by soft, happy and natural things, where the music comes from songbirds and the diamonds are the stars and the gold is in the sunlight and autumn leaves. Will you come with me, my Angel? Will you?"
"Yes," I muttered. "Oh yes, yes," I said and then I was asleep again.
I awoke in the morning and found Luke beside me in my bed. I had fallen asleep in his arms and I had never felt as safe or as happy. His eyes fluttered open and he gazed upon me for a moment before smiling. Then
he
kissed me softly on the lips.
"Good morning," he said. "How do you feel?"
"Much better. But why . ."
"Why did I get into your bed? You had a bad dream, I think, and woke up screaming. I calmed you down and fell asleep beside you. Did you forget all of it?" he asked with some disappointment. "All I said and you said?"
"I think so, although there are words in my mind that seem like dream words."
"They weren't dream words; they were mine and I meant them," he said, with that tight look of determination again. "I told you I wanted to look after you, to protect you, always and forever, and I meant it."
"What are you saying, Luke?" I sat up, holding the blanket against me, for I was in my thin, silk nightgown. He sat up, too.
"I know you're carrying your stepfather's baby, but no one else has to know that. Let everyone think it's mine. I want it to be mine because I want you to be mine."
"What do you mean?" I understood, but I had to hear him say it.
"I mean I want to marry you, to have you forever and forever as my angel. Oh, I know a life in the circus wouldn't be a good life for two young people just getting started, especially if they were expectin' a baby. But I thought it all out," he continued excitedly. "I want to take you back to the Willies with me, start all over. I got plans and ideas. I want to earn enough money to get my own farm started, and I can do it too, Angel.
"Oh, I ain't sayin' it won't be hard in the beginnin'," he went on before I could interrupt, "real hard. We'll hafta stay with my folks for a spell, but I'll work day and night earnin' enough money to get us that down payment so we can start our own home.
"You'll love it there, Angel. I promise you will. It's not what you're accustomed to, by no means, of course," he said, speaking very quickly, "but it's a pure, free life, a life in nature, a life away from corruption and people who care more about themselves than their loved ones."
"Luke, you want to be the father of my baby? You want this?" I asked, still disbelieving.
"As long as it means I'll have you, too, Angel. Don't go to your grandmother's," he pleaded. "It doesn't sound like you'd be happy there anyway. You hardly know her and she's old, set in her ways. Besides," he said, striking at a fear I harbored in my own heart, "what if she doesn't believe you? What if she thinks you're just like her daughter? She might send you back.
"I'll never send you back, Angel," he concluded firmly. "But you can't return to the Willies to work. You love the circus, Luke," I cried. I had seen it in his eyes.