Cast the Cards (9 page)

“I
don’t know. The two of you will have to figure that one out together.” Carey
shook his head.

 “Come
on, Carey! That’s a copout answer, and you know it.”

“It’s
not. You’re placing me in an awkward position. The choices you make will affect
the two of you for a long time to come. You have to decide what you can live
with. What she could live with.”

He
understood the message.
Let her go.
He wasn’t sure he could. Too much
time spent thinking about her made him selfish.  “Okay, fair enough. Tell me
this, what would you do if you were me?”

“I
don’t know. I’m shit with relationships, and we both know Vannah isn’t just
some girl.”

“She’s
so different. It’s hard to read her.”

Carey
nodded in agreement. “Turning into an ice maiden was how she coped, I think.”

“We
have
to make her remember who she was. I refuse to let her stay like
this. ”

“Exactly
how do you expect to accomplish that? I’m curious because I tried to have a
meaningful conversation with her and she pretty much bit my head off.”

“With
your help.”

“Hey.”
Carey held his hands up. “Don’t drag me into this too deep. I have to work with
the woman on the daily. ”

“Come
on, man, consider it my dying wish.”

“That’s
a low blow.”

“It’s
true.”

Carey
growled. “What do you want me to do?”

“Get
to know her. Underneath the front she puts up is the girl we grew up with. I
see her when she lets her guard down.”  
 I need to take a knee, accept the
runner-up prize. Her being with Carey is as close to being with her as I can
get.

“You
would see that. You were always the one she turned to. I’m grasping at straws.”

“And
now that I can’t be that person you have to. She’s missing out on what life’s all
about, Carey. There’s so much pain locked away inside her. If she can just let
go, I think she’d begin to heal.”

“Clark
, I’m not some sort of emotion whisperer.”

“I
know.” He looked Carey in the eyes. “But you
can
do this.”

“Damn
you, Clark.” Carey sighed. “Fine.”

Clark’s
tense muscles relaxed. “If I know you two will be taking care of one another
when my time comes again, I’ll be able to go.”

The
look of discomfort that crossed Carey’s face made Clark feel like shit. It was
a lot to ask but he needed some hope to help ease the pain that came with the
thought of leaving them behind once more.

Chapter
Five

The
sound of her phone jerked her from the heavy sleep she was loathe to leave
behind. Savannah pried open her scratchy eyes and stuck her hand out of the
blanket. She felt around for the device she’d set on her dresser.  Finding it,
she pulled it inside her cocoon.

“Hello.”
Her throat felt raw, and her eyes burned.

“Vannah?”

“Carey?”

“Yeah.
I hate to wake you like this when I’m the one who told you to get some rest,
but this can’t wait.”

“What
happened?” She swallowed, focusing on his voice as she struggled against the
stranglehold of sleep.

“You
got another package.”

The
words made her gasp. “They know I’m here.”
And I thought this case couldn’t
get any more personal. Murphy’s law strikes again.

“It
looks that way.”

“They’re
watching me. This isn’t good. They are actively hunting.”

“How
can you sound so calm?”

“Because
panicking isn’t an option right now. I need a squad car monitoring my house. I
have to tell my parents about this. Their safety is compromised.” She made a
mental list and began to run down each item.

“You
think they’d come to your house?”

“If
they thought it was necessary, yes. I put nothing past these people. It bothers
me I don’t know how long they’ve been observing. I’d wager not too long. Their
letter suggested my occupation was a recent discovery.”

“I’ll
talk to the Chief and get it started.”

“Thank
you. I’m getting up and coming in now. Have you opened the package?”

“Only
to have the bomb experts examine it.”

“Good,
keep the vultures in the office away from it.”

He
chuckled. “You got it, Sherieff.”

“Don—”
The dial tone was her only response. “That little shit hung up on me!” A smirk
twitched her lips upward. She pushed the covers off her body and escaped her
warm nest. The wood floor was cool on her bare feet. She hissed.

The
sun was just beginning to rise, so it couldn’t be much more than seven. The
hushed whispers of her parents and clanks of pots and pans being moved around
told her she’d caught them before they started their day.  She made her way
down the stairs and into the kitchen where they stood at the counter drinking
coffee.

“Morning,
Mom, Dad.”

“Good
morning, Savannah. You’re up early.” Her mother smiled.

“I
know. I just received a phone call… A case I’m working on has gotten …
dangerous. They’re going to start driving by the house and keeping an eye out.
I’d like you to be wary of any suspicious-looking people, cars, et cetera. ”

“What’s
going on?” Her mother frowned.

“I’m
not at liberty to say. This is more of a precautionary measure than anything
else.”

“We’ll
keep our eyes peeled. You stay safe out there.” Her Father always knew how to
smooth ruffled feathers when it came to Mom.

“I
will. I’m going to go get dressed. I need to be in the office.”She turned and
headed for the stairs.

“What
about breakfast?” Her mother called after her.

“I’ll
grab bagels on the way out, I promise.”

A
quick shower later and she was dressed in a pair of khaki pants, a light pink
shirt, and a pair of brown boots. Her hair was slicked back from her face.
She’d applied a light coat of make-up to hide her sleep-weary face. With her
badge tucked into her belt and her gun on her hip, concealed by a blazer, she
stomped down the stairs and rushed into the kitchen.

“See,
Mom, I’m getting breakfast like I promised.” She  cut a bagel in two, slathered
it with strawberry cream cheese from the fridge, and poured a glass of orange
juice into her travel cup.

“Mmhmm.”
Her mother quirked an eyebrow but continued eating.

“I’ll
see you guys later. Call me if you need anything.” She exchanged a meaningful
look with her father. He’d be on the lookout for anything out of the normal,
and his gun was in a safe by the bed. He wouldn’t hesitate to use it, if need
be. The knowledge filled her with a sense of relief. He might be retired, but
her father was still sharp as a tack, and a crack shot.

He
kept up a relaxed, but steady workout regime accompanied with a biweekly trip
to the shooting range. She knew her Mother was worried, though she’d never admit
it. It was a part of having family members in a dangerous profession. You put
on a good front to keep the worry from them so they could act with a clear
mind. It took a toll. It was the price paid by those who loved someone with a
calling to protect and serve.

She
hooked the travel mug onto her satchel and took a bite of the round circle of
bread. After snatching her keys from the counter, she exited the house. Ten
minutes later she was in front of the police station finishing off her cup of
orange juice. With one last gulp she grabbed her mug and exited the car. Long
strides took her inside the building. Time seemed to slow as she waved to the
receptionist and walked to the office she shared with Carey.

Everyone’s
gaze followed her. This case had been the one that got away. They were all
eager to solve it and avenge one of their own.  She opened the door to her
office. Carey sat at his desk, doing his best not to stare at the small, manila
envelope.

“Thank
God! I’ve been itching to open this thing all morning!” He pushed his chair
back and swiveled to face her.

“What
happened with that exactly?”

“They
brought in the dogs to test if for explosives or hazardous items. It came out
clean.”

“So
I have the go-ahead?”

“Yep.”

“Good,
let’s go get suited up.”

“Music
to my ears!”

She
laughed as she placed her bag onto the desk and removed a set of gloves to
handle the package with.

***

After
all the anticipation, the tiny, fur-covered object Vannah pulled from its
yellow prison was anti-climatic.  He wrinkled his brow.

 “What
the hell is that?” he asked with a snort. Greeted with quiet, he turned to look
down at Vannah and his heart sank. Something was very wrong. The tongs shook
where she held the tiny, brown, plush bear holding a heart. Her breathing was ragged,
and her eyes were wide with dilated pupils.

“Vannah?”

“I
won this for him … at the carnival.” Her voice was empty and monotone.

Fuck.
She
seemed glued to the spot, unable to move, as she clenched the tongs hard enough
to turn her knuckles white. Her eyes glazed over, and he knew her mind was no
longer in the present.
Every time she turns around she’s forced to relive
bit and pieces of her ordeal. But somehow to have an actual bit of history from
that night was the cruelest twist the wheel of fate had delivered.

She
took a deep breath, and her face crumpled like a wadded piece of paper. He
wanted to look away, pretend he hadn’t seen the wounded woman beneath the
hardnosed agent persona she embodied. Yet, he promised Clark. Old habits died
hard.

He
placed his hands over hers, helping her lower the bear to the counter before he
removed the tongs from her hand. Chest heaving and shoulders shaking, she
balled her fists and bowed her head. 

“It’s
okay, Vannah.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his
body. He could hear the hiccups she swallowed and knew she was tittering on the
edge of a meltdown.

“Shh.”
He placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. “Let’s take a break.”

 Leading
her to the stools across the room, he helped her sit. She clenched her jaw. Seeing
the silent fight to contain her anguish made him feel like a voyeur. Words
escaped him. Everything that popped into his head sounded too contrived or
ignorant. So he held his tongue, rubbed her back, and waited for a cue. A few
minutes later she cleared her throat.

“I’m
okay.” Her back stiffened. She pulled away from his hand.

“No.”

“What?”

He
refused to let the curt tone put him off. “After all of that there’s no way I’m
going to step back and pretend it never happened.”

“Why?
It’d work for me,” she mumbled.

“Because
you have to talk about this.”

“I
really don’t.” She shook her head.

“Vannah,
have you ever thought your refusal to deal with this head-on might be affecting
Clark?”

“What
are you talking about?”Her eyes flashed with anger.

“You
know what keeps a spirit earthbound?  Unfinished business.”

“I’m
not going to sit here and listen to this.” She removed her gloves with loud
snaps and spun around, ready to leave. He placed a hand on her shoulder,
stopping her retreat.

“Yes,
you will. He knows you aren’t the same. Do you think it doesn’t affect him?”

“That’s
his choice.” The words were unconvincing.

“Bullshit.”

She
sighed. “What do you want me to do, Carey?”

“I
want you to stop acting like a damn robot, and feel,” he growled, frustrated by
her lack of empathy.

“You
have no clue what I’m like outside of work.” Her lips curled upward in a sneer.

“No,
but I bet Clark does.”

“He
told you about last night, didn’t he?” She glanced up, releasing a deep breath
that tossled the wayward tufts of hair framing her face.

They
never kept secrets from one another. Why should now be any different?

“He
mentioned it, yeah. What were you thinking, leading him on like that?”

“Leading
him on? I was honest about my feelings. I felt he deserved to know.” She placed
her hands on her knees and leaned forward.

“Why?
Nothing could come of it.”

“He’s
not the only one who’s suffered from the need for closure all this time,
Carey!” She rocked back, stretched to her full seated height, and glared.

“Aha!
So you admit it.”  He pointed to her, pleased that he’d gotten her to respond.

“Son
of a bitch!” She threw her hands up in the air and rose from the stool. “You
did that on purpose, didn’t you? Sneaky bastard!” The narrowed stare she pinned
him with made him antsy.