Cassie (13 page)

‘I don't know about you, but I am starving. Let's eat,' I say. ‘My treat. As a thank you.'

‘Okay,' says Demi. ‘And while we eat, we can give you our surprise.'

‘A surprise?' I say. ‘What is it?'

Demi puts her arm around my waist and marches me in the direction of the food hall.

‘Hate to break it to you, Hol,' she says. ‘But the key element of a surprise is that it's a . . .'

‘Surprise?' I suggest.

‘Got it in one, girlfriend,' she says and we both laugh.

Ivy

‘If she's okay, I'll kill her,' said Ivy. ‘And if she's not, I'll kill myself.'

Ivy paced the kitchen. Fern leaned against the sink. Her face was pale and drawn.

At four-forty, Fern had arrived at the health food shop without Holly. Ivy was shutting up the shop, counting money in the register and balancing it against the till roll. She'd looked up and smiled as she saw Fern. Then the smile faded as she read her sister's face. Ivy took the news as any mother would. Immediately, her face aged, darkened by possibilities that could not be named.

Now Fern and Ivy paced the kitchen floor at home and waited.

‘I'm sure she's fine,' said Fern.

Ivy said nothing for a while. She didn't have to.

‘What if she's dead somewhere?' Ivy's face twisted in pain, as if the words she spoke had the power to cut her open.

‘Cassie doesn't think so,' said Fern. She sighed.

‘Her phone is turned off,' said Ivy. ‘There's no message on my mobile. If she was okay, why wouldn't she let me know?'

‘I trust Cassie's instincts about this.'

‘I'm driving round to Amy's,' said Ivy. ‘If she's got nothing to add, then I'm calling the police.'

‘We'll come with you,' said Fern.

‘No. Stay here. Ring me if she turns up.'

Cassie

Holly is fine. She is safe.

She will come home. Soon. She is safe.

She needs you to suffer, though she doesn't understand that
herself. And because you would clip her wings. Her wings are new.
She is in awe of them. She has not yet realised that wings can bear
you up, but when they fail, the fall can bring more pain than if
you'd never left the earth at all. I know about wings.

I envy hers.

Holly

Holly had a double cheeseburger with bacon and extra large fries. She could have eaten an overfed horse between two bread vans, but that wasn't on the menu.

The others just had a small bag of fries each and they only picked at those.
Explains why they are stick insects and I
am built like a wombat
, Holly thought, stuffing more burger into her mouth.
I'll attend to that part of my transformation
later.

‘Demi,' she said, trying not to spit meat onto the table top, ‘I just want to say thanks. You know, for helping me out. Thanks to all of you. For everything.'

Demi reached for another fry, but seemed to think better of it, as if she could imagine calories turning into fat and expanding on her thighs.

‘What do you say, girls?' she said to Kari and Georgia. ‘Time to spring the surprise?'

They reached down and lifted up their shopping bags. One by one, they took out articles of clothing and piled them on the table. Tops, skirts, dresses, belts, jeans and trousers. One after another.

Holly recognised them. Clothes she'd tried on in a number of stores, items Demi had liked on her, but which she couldn't afford.

‘Happy birthday,' said Demi.

‘It's not my birthday,' said Holly. She'd stopped eating and a plug of burger made her right cheek bulge. Her mouth started to unhinge yet again.

Demi shrugged.

‘It will be,' she said. ‘Everyone has a birthday. We're just getting in early with our presents.'

Holly had heard how a sudden realisation could feel like a blow from a hammer. This didn't feel like that. It felt like a bomb.

‘You stole these,' she whispered.

Demi made a tutting sound.

‘Theft is such a harsh word, Hol,' she said. ‘I prefer to think we liberated them. But if you have a problem with that, you can always return them. Mind you, you'd have a bit of explaining to do.'

Holly just stared. After what seemed fifteen minutes she started to chew again, but her mouth was dry and she had to force a solid wad of food down her throat. Her hunger had gone. Suddenly she felt like everyone in the food hall was staring.

‘Put them away,' she hissed.

The girls laughed, but they folded the clothes up and returned them to the bags. They didn't hurry. When the table was cleared, Demi rested her face in her hands and looked into Holly's eyes.

‘Just one more thing,' she said. ‘And I think our work here will be done. Make-up.'

Holly's brain had turned into cotton wool. She couldn't gather her thoughts. The words came out with a laugh. But even then she knew this wasn't in the slightest bit funny.

‘Which I guess we're going to steal as well!'

The girls didn't reply. They just looked at her and smiled.

Holly

My name is Holly Holley and I am a thief.

My heart is about to burst out of my ribcage. It's hammering so hard, I am amazed the staff can't hear it.

I think about the advice the girls gave when I insisted on doing this myself.
Act confident. Keep a look out for cameras. Be
quick and decisive when pocketing the items. Don't rush from the
store. Always walk. Buy something small.

But as I queue at the checkout my face burns. Guilt is oozing from every pore. I reek of it.

‘Hi, how are you?' says the girl at the checkout.

‘Good. You?'

‘Good.' She scans the nail polish that was hugely reduced. ‘Three dollars ninety-five, please.'

I hand over a five dollar bill I've already taken from my handbag. My handbag is packed with lipstick, eyeliner and foundation. Items Demi identified as essential to my new look.

‘Can I check your bags?' says the girl as she passes me the change. My heart stops.

‘Sorry?'

The girl looks confused. ‘I said, “Have a nice day.”'

A pounding in my ears tells me my heart has lumbered into action again.

‘Oh, thanks. You too.'

And then I am out. The girls are sitting on a bench in a walkway around the corner. I hurry towards them. My feet don't seem to touch the floor. I am still terrified. But nestling in the dark heart of that terror is a small and shining nugget of pride.

Ivy

‘Police, please.'

Fern had made a cup of tea, but Ivy hadn't touched it.

She had waited two more hours after discovering from Amy that Holly had wagged her last class. A fact Amy had been very reluctant to reveal. Ivy wasn't sure if the wagging should make her more worried, or less. And somewhere deep in her gut she was vaguely aware of a niggling superstition that ringing the police would somehow usher in her worst nightmare. She'd kept thinking that any moment, Holly would walk in with an explanation. Something Ivy had forgotten. A meeting of some kind. ‘I
told
you about it, Mum.'

But Holly hadn't walked in.

Ivy knew she should have rung the police straight away.

How could she forgive herself for her delay?

‘I want to report a missing person.'

It was the last two words that did it. As soon as they passed her lips, Ivy's face crumpled, as if by speaking the words she had made them true. Wagging. Late. She could cope with those. Missing. The word sliced and slashed like a blade.

Fern took the phone from her, and held her.

6

Holly

When Holly opened the front door and stood, framed by the night, she saw Cassie in her wheelchair at the table, her mum holding the back of a chair and Aunty Fern holding her mum. The sound of sobbing abruptly choked off. For a moment Holly thought someone had died. Then she realised it was her.

No one moved for a few hollow moments.