Cassandra Austin (15 page)

“‘Robert’s eyes lingered on her face, drinking in the fragile beauty of her features. After a breathless moment, he drew her into his arms and held her against him with restrained passion.’”

“He held her with restrained passion,” Rose moaned.

“Unrestrained passions sounds more fun to me,” Emily quipped.

As the girls giggled, Lynnette backed away from the door. Where had they found it? Did they knew it was hers? No. No one could have told them but Christian, and she was sure he wouldn’t have given away her secret.

Rose must have brought it, she decided as she made her way to her own room. Half the fun was knowing the adults would not approve. Arlen especially, she realized.

She pulled aside the curtains and opened the door to the balcony. She had planned to tell Arlen that, while she was fond of him, she didn’t love him. She had hoped if she could emphasize that she was not the right woman for him, she could end the engagement without hurting him.

Now she realized all she had to do was tell him about the book. It would prove that she was not the woman he thought she was. Perhaps that was why she
hadn’t been able to tell him sooner. Since she had first met him in the attorney’s office, she had truly
wanted
to be the right woman, but she couldn’t change who she was.

And Christian. She stepped out on the balcony and leaned against the rail, hoping to see him working below. Without Christian she might have tried to do it. She might have married Arlen and settled into a life of pretending.

As if on cue, Christian and Jake rode out of the tall barn doors, turned and disappeared beyond the barn. Lynnette wished they had ridden in the opposite direction, where she could watch Christian for a while as he slowly left her behind.

“Parting should be quick,” she whispered. But she didn’t believe it. She wanted as much time with him as she could possibly grab.

Christian was absent from dinner. Lynnette wasn’t surprised. She had spent the afternoon on the balcony and would have seen him return. The girls were too wrapped up in themselves to comment on his absence, if they even noticed, and Hugh evidently knew about whatever job had called him and Jake away.

Hugh kept Emily from doing all the talking by drawing Rose out with questions about her family and her own activities. Lynnette was glad that responsibility hadn’t fallen to her. Pretending to eat was all she could manage.

Tomorrow Arlen would return, and she would have the difficult task of breaking their engagement. And
then she would leave. Christian would be lost to her forever.

Over the quiet dinner conversation, Lynnette heard the back door close. Christian had returned! She schooled her features not to reveal her elation. As upsetting as his presence was, his absence was worse.

She pretended to listen to what Rose was saying. She didn’t dare look in his direction, but she charted his progress through the living room and to the base of the stairs by the sound of his footsteps. In a moment he would be beside her, and if she dared a glance, she knew just the sight of him would make her heart race.

“You’re home early, son,” Hugh said, rising and extending his hand.

The greeting offered an excuse to look. She turned and nearly gasped. “Arlen!”

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said. He shook his father’s hand and took the seat beside her, kissing her cheek in the process. “Didn’t you hear me come in?”

“I…ah…no, I guess not.”

“I caught the late train,” Arlen explained. “My friends have set up appointments for me next week with some of the most influential men in Kansas. I wanted some time at home to prepare myself. If you don’t mind, Father, I’ll need the study all morning tomorrow.”

“It’s all yours,” Hugh said.

Lynnette thought the girls had exchanged a conspiratorial look while Arlen was talking. She watched them curiously, and in a few minutes they excused
themselves and scampered up the stairs. A signal, she supposed, dismissing it.

When Hugh proposed they retire to the living room, Lynnette laid a hand on Arlen’s sleeve. “I’ll be there in a moment, Hugh,” she said. Hugh graciously left them alone. “Could I speak with you a moment?” she asked Arlen softly.

“Can it wait until tomorrow? I’m really beat.” He was already rising from the table. “It’s wonderful to see you again.” He cupped her cheek with the palm of his hand and gazed at her for a long moment. “Good night,” he whispered, bending to kiss her lips.

Lynnette remained in her chair as he crossed the room. She should run after him and insist he take time for her, but he did look exhausted.

With one foot on the bottom step he turned. “I like your hair much better this way,” he said. He gave her a warm smile that she tried to return and went up the stairs.

In Emily’s room the girls, dressed in their nightgowns, sat cross-legged on the bed, their heads close together.

“You heard what he said,” Emily whispered. “He’s going to be in the study all morning.”

“But how does that help
me?
”

“You go in, say you’re looking for a book, then stay and…you know.”

Rose took a deep breath, her eyes wide. “Won’t he think it’s odd that we’re not together?”

Emily hesitated. “Tell him you need the book for
us to read together. If you’re successful, he’s not going to remember your excuse, anyway.”

Rose still looked uncertain. “What if Lynnette comes in? Or your father?”

“Grab a book and run, I guess. But Papa won’t bother him while he’s working, and I’ll take care of Lynnette.”

Rose looked at Emily for a long time before a smile started to spread across her face. “This is my one chance, isn’t it? Now I’m too excited to sleep.”

“The book!” they said almost in unison.

Emily scrambled to the head of the bed and removed the book from under a pillow.

“I thought you were going to return that to Christian’s room.”

Emily shrugged. “I’ll do it tomorrow. Arlen’s in there now, anyway.” At Rose’s skeptical look she elaborated, “I’ll put it on the floor, almost under the night table, and he’ll think he missed it tonight because it had fallen off the table. Don’t worry. Besides, it’s only Christian. It’s not like I took something that belonged to
Arlen.
Then I’d be in trouble.”

Rose glared at her. “You should be in trouble.”

“Oh, don’t get grown-up on me now,” Emily said, leafing through the pages. “You’ve enjoyed the book as much as I have, whether it helps you with your mission or not.” She gave her friend a wink and settled in to read.

Christian and Hugh were just finishing breakfast when Arlen joined them in the dining room. “You’re up early,” Christian said by way of greeting.

“I wanted to get an early start on things this morning.”

“I have a few things I’d like to retrieve from the study,” Hugh said, rising. “Enjoy your breakfast.”

Arlen poured himself a cup of coffee and offered the pot to Christian. He took it and refilled his cup. He was finished, ready to start his chores, but he lingered. Arlen was gone most of the time, and he found himself avoiding him the rest. He didn’t want it to be that way with his brother.

Arlen asked in a quiet voice, intended not to carry, “Did you stay out all night?”

Christian shook his head. “I got in late and saw your horse. I didn’t want to wake you, so I slept on the cot in the tack room.”

Arlen eyed him skeptically. Christian took a sip of coffee, hoping to hide the fact that that wasn’t the whole truth. “So what’re you up to today?”

“Studying,” Arlen said. “I’ve got some important meetings next week, and I don’t want to mess up on a single fact”

“Better you than me, little brother.” Christian toasted him with his coffee cup.

Light footsteps on the stairs drew their attention. Christian glanced up once, then watched his brother’s profile as Lynnette came into view. Arlen studied her with narrowed eyes, a possessive smile on his face. Both men stood when she reached the bottom of the stairs. Arlen helped her into the chair beside him, kissing her cheek, before he returned to his own seat.

Christian found himself unwilling to remain. He didn’t want to sit across from them and watch. He
hated the way Arlen looked at her, and was afraid his brother would have a similar reaction if he happened to notice how
he
looked at her. After giving Lynnette the warmest good-morning he could muster, he stacked his dishes and took them to the kitchen.

Lynnette wished Christian weren’t leaving. Here was a perfect chance to talk to Arlen, and she didn’t want it. She wanted to put it off for one more day. She wanted one more day with Christian.

She watched Arlen pour her some coffee and tried to shake off her foolishness. “I’m glad you came home early,” she lied. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you.”

“I want to be with you, too,” he said softly. “You’re my life. I’m sorry I can’t spend the whole day with you. But I really need to get to work.”

“I only need a few minutes,” she said.

“Ah,” he murmured, taking her face in his hands. “You ask so little. This afternoon I should have more time. But now I really need to get to work.” He gave her one of his slow lingering kisses. “Enjoy your breakfast,” he said cheerily as he left her alone.

Lynnette listened for the sound of the study door closing. “I ask so little,” she muttered under her breath.

L
ynnette was finishing her breakfast when Emily found her. The girl was dressed in the pants and shirt she wore when she went riding. “There you are,” she said, sliding into a chair across from Lynnette. “Do you have any plans for today?”

Lynnette felt a surge of anticipation. Would she be invited to go riding with the girls? “Nothing definite,” she said.

“I thought I’d show you around the barn,” Emily suggested. “You haven’t had a chance to explore it, have you?”

Lynnette shook her head, hiding her disappointment.

“I can find you some pants so your gown doesn’t get dirty.”

Lynnette considered a moment. Would wearing pants increase her chances of getting to ride? But then, what did she care whether she rode or not? Christian would be in the barn. Did she want him to see her in pants like Emily wore? It was daring and exciting and
would absolutely horrify Arlen. “That would be great,” she said, tossing aside her napkin.

Upstairs, Emily walked into Christian’s room as if it were her own. Lynnette followed hesitantly. While Emily rummaged through a drawer, Lynnette looked around. The room was cluttered, but two men were sharing it temporarily.

“Which one of Christian’s shirts do you want?”

Lynnette turned to see Emily holding up three of her brother’s shirts. She recognized one as a shirt she had mended. The thought of wearing any of them next to her skin made her tingle. “Perhaps Arlen has something…”

“Nope. We’d have to ask his permission. Do you think he’d give it?”

The girl had a point. Lynnette reached for the mended shirt, feeling at least a familiarity with it. She laid it over her arm and resisted the urge to caress it.

Next Emily came up with a worn pair of denim pants. Emily promised to put the dresser back in order, and Lynnette went to her room to change.

She stripped down to her drawers and chemise and tried on the shirt. It went well past her hips. She rolled the sleeves up three times and reached for the pants. They were far from a good fit. They were indecently snug across her hips, and the waist was too loose. She cinched it in as best she could with the wide ribbon tie from her straw hat.

She looked down at herself and decided she looked ridiculous. But it was too late to turn back. She just prayed that Arlen wouldn’t see her. It wouldn’t exactly put him in the mood she wanted him in for their discussion.
Or maybe it would. Perhaps a little indignation would shield his ego.

Head high, she left the room and found Emily sitting on the top step waiting for her.

“Where’s Rose?” Lynnette asked.

“She wants to stay in bed this morning,” Emily said, starting down the stairs.

Lynnette caught up with her. “Is she ill?”

“Monthly,” Emily whispered.

Lynnette accepted that, though it seemed odd that Emily would desert her friend. Perhaps Rose truly desired to be alone. She followed Emily through the kitchen and out the side door. As they crossed the yard, Lynnette found her anticipation building. This could be her last day here, and she was spending it, as much as possible, with Christian.

They stopped outside the double doors. In the shadows of the darker interior, they could make out the moving shapes of men and horses. Lynnette was intrigued. What exactly did they do?

She started forward, but Emily caught her arm. “They’re cleaning out the stalls. Let’s see the top first.”

Emily headed toward the ramp that led to the third level, and Lynnette reluctantly followed.

Christian tightened his grip on the lead ropes and stared after Lynnette. If he wasn’t mistaken, those were his clothes she was wearing. He would never see either of those garments in quite the same light again.

“Are they wanting us to saddle horses for them?” Jacob asked, coming to stand beside him.

“Emily wouldn’t have hesitated to ask. My guess is they have something else in mind.” He tugged on the ropes and started the three patient horses moving again.

Jacob, following with three more horses, called, “Why else would they dress like that?”

“Beats me.” Darn little Emily. Trust her to raid his room. And he had left Lynnette’s book sitting on his night table. When he had gone in last evening for a clean shirt, he hadn’t even thought about it.

They tied the horses to the rails around the stock tank. Christian cranked the windmill’s tail into position and hooked up the shaft while Jacob put the pipe that would divert the water to the tank into its position on the spout.

They walked back into the barn to begin cleaning out the stalls. Christian tried to concentrate on his work, but his mind kept drifting to the denim-clad beauty somewhere above him.

Jacob’s voice was a welcome distraction. “The spreader wagon’s going to be full,” he said, tossing a pitchfork-load of old hay into the wagon.

“Maybe your pa…” Feminine voices caught his attention. On the ladder in the center of the barn, Emily was skillfully making her way to the bottom. He left his pitchfork and walked to meet her and discovered Lynnette descending more slowly above him. It was a most intriguing view. One he shouldn’t be enjoying.

He looked away quickly, meaning to say something to Emily, only to find that she was already moving across the barn. His eyes were drawn upward again. The tight pants showed him just exactly how slender
her legs were, how rounded her little bottom was. He felt his groin tighten and took a hasty step backward.

Four feet from the bottom, her toe slipped off the rung. She hadn’t shifted her weight to that foot yet; she might have easily caught herself. These things didn’t cross Christian’s mind until his hands had already wrapped around her narrow waist.

If she had let go, he could have swung her to the ground…or into his arms. He wasn’t sure which. But she didn’t let go. She caught her balance, and continued down the last few steps. His hands didn’t leave her waist until her foot touched the floor. He stepped back and let her turn around.

“Thanks”. She was breathless. The climb down, he supposed.

What was his excuse? He was breathing harder than she was. A smile and a nod was all he could manage in response. She hadn’t taken her eyes from his, and the desire to step toward her was almost overwhelming.

“Lynnette,” Emily called.

She turned away, and he watched her feminine hips as she joined his sister near where Jacob worked.

“They’re almost done,” Emily said. “The saddle horses live in these stalls. Every day they’re taken out and watered and exercised and their stalls are cleaned.”

“And fresh hay is dropped into the stalls from the holes in the ceiling,” Jacob provided. “Did Emily show you?”

At Lynnette’s nod, Emily added. “We don’t want
to be down here when they do that. The dust’ll choke you.”

“We’ll leave that to Jacob, then,” Christian suggested, coming forward. “You ladies can help me exercise the horses.”

Lynnette seemed delighted with the prospect. Seeing her step toward him was almost enough to make him forget what else he needed to say. Almost. He tore his eyes away from her, ignoring his sister’s scowl. “When you’re done, Jacob, see if your pa can unload the wagon on the oats.”

“Sure thing.”

He started out of the barn, Lynnette at his side. He didn’t know if Emily followed or stayed to harass Jacob. He found himself hoping for the later.

“How can Perry unload the wagon? He can’t even walk without the crutch,” Lynnette asked.

Christian was momentarily startled by the question. He sensed concern for Perry mixed with her curiosity. It was foolish to find such a little thing heartwarming. “It’s a spreader wagon. Other than pulling a lever to tighten the chain, all Perry has to do is ride. It’ll chop the…ah…fertilizer and drop it on the field as it goes.”

They had emerged from the barn. He turned to look at her in full sunlight. She was turned toward him, too. He didn’t know when they had stopped walking.

“I never thought about what a rancher did with all the barn waste,” she said.

“We spread it on the cropland.” He barely kept his mind on what he was saying. “Most of this land isn’t fit to grow crops, but we have a few little fields in the valley.”

Field crops were the farthest things from his mind. The sun gave her skin an almost golden glow. He could have sworn there were golden flecks in her green-brown eyes, as well. He almost stepped toward her to see but caught himself and turned away.

“As Emily said, we have to exercise these horses every day if they aren’t ridden.” He walked to the tank where the horses were tied. He disconnected the windmill shaft while he talked, glancing up only to be sure she had followed. “The draft horses will take the wagon out, but these other four need to be walked around a bit.”

“What about them?” She had walked past the well and was looking down at the lower corral.

“Since they’re not kept in the barn they can get their own exercise. They need to be fed, though.” He wasn’t sure when he had moved to stand beside her. She watched the horses, and he watched her.

“They’re beautiful,” she said.

“Hmm,” he murmured, realizing how dangerous this was. “Do you want to exercise one of the saddle horses?”

She swung around to face him, her face alight with anticipation. “Can I? You’ll have to show me what to do.”

“Nothing to it.” He was ridiculously pleased with himself for thinking of something that made her so happy. He had to work to turn away from her. The lunge line was just inside the barn and he hurried to fetch it, meeting her back near the horses. He picked out the gray gelding and led it farther into the open barnyard.

“This is Trooper.” As Lynnette joined him, he switched the lead rope for the thirty-foot lunge line. With one hand on the cheek strap, he dropped the coiled rope on the ground. He rubbed the horse’s nose as he watched her face. She was torn between fascination and fright. He drew Trooper one step closer to her. “Get to know him a little.”

She reached out a tentative hand and touched the horse’s nose. Trooper tossed his head and moved forward, nuzzling her cheek. She jumped back, a startled laugh escaping her lips.

“Hey,” he said, pulling the horse away from her. “No kissing on the first date.”

She laughed, her eyes twinkling.

“Here,” he said, handing her the lunge line. He let go of the halter and stood beside her. “Give him a little more rope.” Their hands brushed as he helped her. With one hand covering hers, he moved to stand almost behind her.

Trooper started walking, and Lynnette tensed. “What do I do?”

“Just turn,” he said softly, conscious that his lips were only inches from her ear. He guided her in a slow circle, his body nearly pressed against hers. “Trooper knows what to do.”

As Trooper picked up speed, he felt her relax. He wanted to move closer, press her backside against his thighs. He tried to distract himself by talking. “Normally I’d do this in the pen, but if you drop the rope, all Trooper’s going to do is head for his stall. With any of the other horses I need a whip to get ‘em started and keep ‘em moving.”

“He’s beautiful,” she said. Her voice trembled a little, but he didn’t think she was still afraid.

“I look for any signs of illness or injury as he runs.”

“There aren’t any, are there?”

“No.” He couldn’t resist the slightest brush of his cheek against her head. He pretended it was meant to soothe her fears. This was insanity. It wasn’t going to make his life as her brother-in-law any easier. He should move away; she didn’t need his help with the horse, anyway. They turned in two more slow circles, and still he couldn’t bring himself to let her go.

“I’ll do one,” Emily called.

Christian started at the sound. Lynnette stumbled, and he caught her against him until she regained her balance. “All right, now?” he whispered. “Can you do this alone?”

She nodded hesitantly.

“When you get tired, just pull in the rope.” He eased his hand from her, finally stepping away entirely. He left the circle behind the horse and walked to Emily. He told himself he was glad Emily had interrupted, but that didn’t explain the loss he felt, the emptiness that made him ache inside.

He got Emily started with the other gelding in the pen, then led the draft horses into the barn and hitched them to the wagon. Stepping outside, he intended to stop Lynnette, but one look at her face made him want to stand back and watch.

She was enthralled. With the horse’s beauty? His graceful motion? He wasn’t sure. Her lips were parted, her eyes dreamy. He felt a pang of jealousy. What
would it be like to put that kind of expression on her face?

He cursed himself. He ought to take a dunk in the stock tank. He had no business thinking about sex when he looked at Lynnette.

He stepped forward, let Trooper run past then joined Lynnette in the center of the circle. “Let’s haul him in,” he said, helping her gather the lead rope. Trooper trotted toward them and nuzzled Lynnette’s shoulder. She wobbled, practically falling into Christian’s arms. He grabbed the halter and pulled Trooper away, keeping one arm around Lynnette. “You all right?”

She laughed, “I’m just a little dizzy, I guess.” She pushed away from him far too soon, one small hand against his chest. He wanted to take the hand and hold it there, press it against his heart. He did no such thing.

“Trooper’s trying to sweep you off your feet,” he quipped.

“He did a fine job of it.” She rubbed the horse’s nose with her fingertips, apparently still hesitant around the animal. “What next?” she asked.

“Now we rub him down and put him away.” He led the gelding toward the barn, and she fell into step beside him.

“Is Elayne, the horse Emily mentioned, kept up here?”

“She’s in the lower corral with the young stock.” He knew he shouldn’t encourage her to spend time with him. Hell, he shouldn’t even look at her when he answered. She was looking at him with an eager curiosity he found irresistible. “I’ll show her to you when we’re done.”

She smiled. For a second he felt as if he had gotten a glimpse of heaven. More like hell, he decided.

Jacob came to meet them, and they stood aside as Perry drove the spreader wagon out of the barn. “Want me to exercise the mare?” Jacob asked.