Casanova Cowboy (A Morgan Mallory Story) (33 page)

“Who’s who?” I asked.

“Victoria’s putting on the ski, Pam’s the one with the rope, then Erin and Becky,” he said pointing.

When we got
out of the wakeless zone and back into the lake, Eric shut off the boat, and Victoria jumped overboard. She flipped her hair back as she adjusted the ski.

“She’s good, real good,” he said.

She got the rope and Eric got her lined up.

“Hit it,” she yelled and boom she was up
in a flash and they were on their way. Tate shut off his boat.

“Since you haven’t helped yourself can I offer you a beer?”

“Sure, thanks,” I said.

Tate dug into his red cooler and pulled out two beers. He put them into cozies and handed me one.

“Nothing like ice cold beer on a hot day,” he grinned.

We floated and chitchatted and I could feel the sun burning my skin.

“I left my bag on Eric’s boat, do you have some sunscreen? I feel like I need to reapply.”

“Of course,” Tate said reaching into a side rail.

He started to hand it to me and then stopped.

“Let me help
,” he said with a grin.

             
I wondered if he was always so helpful with women he didn’t know.
Why couldn’t it be Ryan?
Stop, I was here to get over Ryan. I pushed my thoughts of Ryan out and turned my back to him, pulling my hair forward over my shoulder out of the way. Maybe if I concentrated on Tate… Then I shuddered at the chill of a small line of lotion he squirted onto the top of my shoulders. A chill that soon warmed up as his strong hands rubbed the lotion in, spending longer than needed.
God, your hands feel good.
I delighted in those hands rubbing it into my entire back.

“My, you’re a good lotion boy,” I teased.

“Got to get every spot so you don’t get burned,” he said.

When he dropped down to do my legs, I sucked in my breath. He spread the lotion first on my calves and then up my thighs, his fingers coming
extremely close to my ass and crotch. I could feel the excitement between my legs.

“I can get my front
,” I said turning a little embarrassed, reaching for the lotion.

             
“Can you get my back?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

             
“Of course,” I said feeling adventurous.

             
When I touched his skin, I felt the butterflies flutter in my stomach.
He had a nice back.
I could feel the muscles in his shoulders, his warm skin smelling of a slight hint of musk or some other manly type scent. The lotion smelled like the old Sea and Ski, and the two mixed together sent me into a sensory overload. I could imagine how his ass would feel, firm and tight like the rest of him. Maybe I could try again, maybe at some point I would be ready to.

“Than
ks, Morgan,” he said, turning around with a smile that was so sexy it made me blink.

I could feel the chemistry between us and it made me nervous.
Can I really be feeling these feelings?

             
“You’re welcome,” I said, very aware of his proximity to me.

             
His eyes searched mine. I wondered what he saw. I felt scared. Scared I might feel something, scared I might revert to the use ‘em and lose ‘em days of old, sleep with him with no emotional tie. It especially scared me that I might not be able to ever give my heart completely again.

Chapter 41

“I invited Tate to meet us at The Beacon tonight,” Eric said as he drove me back to Ginny’s.

“When,
I mean, when did you ask him?” I asked, not recalling any exchange like that.

             
“He asked me if we were doing anything later. And he didn’t mean me, he meant you,” Eric said, glancing over at me.

             
I sucked air into my lungs. I could feel Tate’s hands on my back, strong hands. Could feel the excitement I’d felt.

             
“Eric, I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m ready,” I said, feeling panicky.

             
“If you think that way, you will never be ready. This one’s a no-brainer. He is coming to meet you, Lynn, and me. Tate’s making it easy, it’s about the farthest from a real date that you can get. Test the water, Morgan. Put your big toe in, if you don’t put yourself out there, how are you going to know? We’ve all gotten our heart broken, and it’s not till we’re further down the road that we figure out it was the best thing ever,” Eric said.

             
I didn’t think I would ever feel it was the best thing ever.

             
“Okay,” I said reluctantly. “How come Tate’s single anyway? He’s too good-looking not to have girls fawning over him. They should be jumping like salmon into his bed.”

             
“Oh, he does. Just hasn’t wanted any recently. His last girlfriend lived with him. He caught her in his bed with another guy. He went home unexpectedly and…bad surprise. So, you see, we all have our issues,” Eric explained.

             
The visual was bad; I could feel his heart breaking, could feel the raw pain rip through my body at finding something like that.

             
“He hate women now?” I asked.

             
“No, I don’t think he hates them. He’s disillusioned with them,” Eric said.

             
“Two disillusioned people… Not sure that’s a good combo either,” I said.

             
“Quit overthinking it. We’re going out for martinis, you’re not getting married,” Eric teased.

             
His comment made me laugh.

             
“Thanks, Eric, I needed that,” I said, realizing I was doing exactly that, overthinking it.

             
He pulled into the driveway and put the truck in park. Eric leaned his forearms on the steering wheel and smiled at me.

“Get ready
, sweetie, Lynn and I will be back at seven to pick you up,” he said. “Regarding Tate, that’s going to be up to you and him. For now, it’s a drink.”

I looked out the window at the pines, could hear the magpies squawking,
and missed my mom.

             
“You know, I really should be going to bed, not out for drinks,” I said, “but I am sort of excited.”

             
“See you in a bit,” he said, grinning as he put the truck in reverse.

             
Ginny was gone, and Doug was in his room when I got home. Brad was working, and I hoped he had caught up on some sleep.

             
“Hey, Doug,” I said, poking my head in his room.

             
“Hi. Did you have a good day on the lake?” he asked.

             
“Great day,” I said. “I’m going out with Eric and Lynn and Tate tonight.”

             
“Tate? Is he your date?” Doug asked, surprised.

             
I wanted to flop down on his bed and ask a million questions about Tate, but I held back.

             
“No, it’s casual. He’s meeting us for a drink at Beacon’s,” I answered. “Is he okay? Like an okay guy?”

             
“Tate? Yeah, he’s cool,” he said, concentrating on something on his desk. “Oh, and by the way, Liz called to check on you. Sounds like a cool girl. Good friend?”

             
“She is,” I said. “One of the best.”

             
As I got ready to go out, what Eric said came back to me, about Tate catching his girlfriend. I could at least be thankful I hadn’t caught Ryan cheating on me, although maybe it would have been easier. If I could hate him, it might not hurt so much. I was finishing my makeup when I realized I was dressing for a man. That I wanted Tate to pay attention, notice me. In a way it was shocking, in a way a relief.

By the time Eric and Lynn picked me up
, I was feeling like I might be able to open that door a little, encouraging myself to open the door. When we got to The Beacon, Tate was waiting at the bar. He was looking incredibly handsome, yet casual in a pale purple polo shirt, jeans, and flip-flops.

             
“You look great,” he said, checking out my outfit.

             
He gave me a subtle, slow, head to toe with his eyes and it made me feel sexy.

             
“Thanks, so do you,” I said, pleased I’d chosen the low-cut, white halter-top and short jean skirt.

His compliment was a great boost for my ego
. I knew no bra, open bare back, and tan skin helped the whole look.
Maybe I can do this
I thought as I took the barstool next to him while Eric and Lynn took the barstools on the other side of Tate.

“Are w
e doing martinis like we talked about?” Eric asked, looking down the bar at me for confirmation.

“Martini
’s good,” I said as I noticed Tate had a beer in front of him already.

“Tate?” Eric asked.

              “Sure, I’ll do a martini.”

             
Eric ordered four vodka martinis straight up.

             
“Can I have mine dirty,” I asked the bartender.

             
“Sure thing,” he said, wiggling four glasses into the crushed ice to chill.

             
We sat at the bar and drank martinis and talked. By the third one, I realized I was getting pretty buzzed.

             
“So are we having dinner here? I’m feeling like I need to get something to eat,” I said.

             
Eric shrugged his shoulders in indifference.

“I could d
o dinner here. Lynn?”

             
“It’s okay with me. We’ve got to eat somewhere. Saves me from having to cook,” she said happily.

             
“Tate?” I asked.

             
“Fine with me.”

             
“I’ll get us a table,” Eric said, getting up.

             
“I’ll be back,” I said, excusing myself.

             
I went to use the restroom. Coming back out I could see the lake through a glass door to my right so I ventured around back to the beach. The loneliness I felt earlier washed over me again, a hallow feeling inside. I took off my shoes and walked down to the waters edge. The moonlight danced on the water. There was a slight breeze, so the lake lapped softly at the shore.
What would I do when I went back home? What was waiting for me? The same low paying jobs. An empty condo.
I had a finance degree now; it was time to start looking for a real job, one job. I thought maybe I should consider another change; look at opportunities in other places.
Maybe I should move here, start over.

             
“Eric got us a table by the window,” Tate said softly, coming up behind me.

             
“Oh good,” I said, surprised. “Sorry, the beach was calling, and I guess, I lost track. This lake is so beautiful.”

             
When he came closer and put his arm around my shoulder, I leaned into him, enjoying his warmth.

“It
is beautiful, isn’t it,” he said dreamily.

             
The romantic tone of his voice woke the butterflies within and they took flight. There was no question I was physically attracted to him. We both had felt it earlier on the boat, that animal allure that draws you to someone. I wondered if it could ever be more than that; starting the whole process over seemed daunting to me.
Did I even want to? Risk potential failure again?
Eric had told me to stick my toe in the water, and damn it, I was trying.

“Tate
, I have to go slow, real slow, maybe too slow for you, but it’s the only way it can work for me right now,” I said.

“I understand
,” he said tenderly, taking my hand. “Let’s go have some dinner.”

             
The rest of the month I spent much the same way. I ran in the mornings and went to the beach during the day. At night I hung out with whoever wasn’t working. Tate didn’t push me, and after awhile, I relaxed, knowing he wouldn’t. He took me out boating often, and to dinner and drinks. We talked openly enough that we understood we had both been hurt recently and were trying to recover.

“Hi, Mom,” I said when she answered the phone.

             
I’d talked to her once or twice a week, filling her in on what I was doing. I’d gotten over being mad that she let Ryan know where I was. I hadn’t heard from him since then.

             
“I’m excited you’re coming home next week,” she gushed. “Dad’s flying up on Friday to Reno. You need to pick him up at the airport. He’s really looking forward to the two of you driving home together.”

“Mom
, I still think it’s silly you two are afraid to let me drive home alone, but whatever,” I said.

I jumped up and sat on Ginny’s kitchen counter
swinging my tan legs a little, admiring their color.

“Listen
, it’s good bonding time for the two of you. Time to talk; he wanted to do it,” she said.

“
I’ve been thinking a lot about now what, about job searching, you know for a real job. I’m thinking I may move up here. Thinking I need a change,” I said.

             
There was silence on the other end.

             
“Mom?”

             
“I’m here,” she said.

             
I knew she didn’t like the idea and felt like I needed to give her a reason, a positive reason, not making my thought so impulsive.

             
“I met a guy. His name is Tate. Super hot, although he’s been hurt recently too. I’ve spent time with him. I told him it would have to move slowly. I don’t know if he’ll wait, but…maybe it’s worth pursuing,” I said.

             
She sighed and then more silence as she digested this new information. I hadn’t told her about Tate before because this is the reaction I knew I’d get.

             
“Mom, you should be jumping up and down, ‘great Morgan, glad to hear you’re healing’,” I said, mimicking her voice. “Instead I get silence.”

             
It annoyed me that I’d been right about what her reaction would be.

             
“I’ve been talking to Ryan. He misses you,” she said.

             
She’d told me they had been meeting pretty regularly. I didn’t understand why.

“God damn it
, Mom,” I said my voice rising. “Quit trying to revive something that’s dead. It’s over. I’m here because I want to get on with my life, and you’re talking to Ryan. Fuck.”

I felt a flush through my body
and I kicked my legs out straight in frustration.

             
“I can’t help it. I’m his friend. How was I supposed to stop being his friend? I loved you two together,” she said.

             
I could hear the misery in her tone. The wanting to fix it for me, and yet she couldn’t. I wanted her to stop.

             
“Mom, stop with Ryan,” I said, angry and short. “You should be pushing me toward Tate. Telling me to go for it. You’ve always said, if a man doesn’t know what he wants, it’s his loss. Ryan was willing to lose it.”

             
“I know,” she said, her voice quivering.

             
I pressed the receiver to my ear, feeling bad for her. Realizing she’d had some of the same angst that I’d felt. Brad came into the kitchen and rummaged in the refrigerator for sandwich fixings as I talked. He gave me a supportive smile as he spread mayonnaise on his bread.

             
“Mom, I lost what I thought was the love of my life and my best friend in one fell swoop…” I started, trying to keep my voice calm. “He was the one who said he wasn’t in love. He was the one who met a girl, remember? I came here hoping to erase some of the pain. I’ve actually been doing a somewhat decent job of it. Please don’t pull Ryan into it. Please don’t make me feel all that hurt again.”