Carter (The Harlow Brothers Book 1) (4 page)

“Good. Do you want a ride somewhere?” He asks as he points his thumb to his police car. I don’t think twice about it before I nod my head and thank him as we both get in. I place my bag by my feet, and once I put on my seat belt, Caden slowly pulls out, heading north. We leave Main Street behind, and it’s not until we pass by the Waffle House when he asks, “Where do you want me to take you?”

“Annie and William’s, please.” I glance at him and quickly add, “If they still live there. I haven’t spoken to them in a long time.” I turn away, absently staring out the window as I whisper, “A lot can change in thirteen years.”

I don’t know if Caden heard me since he didn’t say anything about my last comment. He does begin to tell me Annie and William still live in their small house out on Jess Lyons Road. He doesn’t ask me why I want to go there, he knows how much Annie and William mean to me. We all loved Annie and William. If we weren’t at Caden’s parents’ home, we were at Annie and William’s. We spent so much time there, that William built us a tree house in the backyard and put up a tree swing. Annie would make all kinds of food for us, and it always seemed like Thanksgiving Day when she did. These are the good memories. The ones I cherish and wish I could go back to relive again.

Caden’s voice trails off as I think about the past. Our silence isn’t uncomfortable. It’s actually nice to be around someone I trust again. Someone I know who won’t ask me twenty-one questions just to gain information about me to use later. I don’t have to watch what I say, when I do talk. I don’t have to worry about anything. It’s such a relief to be with an old friend again. I want to break our silence, but then again, I want to relish in this peaceful feeling I’m having. It’s a feeling I thought I’d never have again after everything that happened between Easton and I.

Then I wonder if Mom moving to Charleston had anything to do with how my life changed so much. I still have no idea why she chose to move down the street from us.

Things started to change quite drastically after Easton met my Mom. For years, I was able to come up with excuse after excuse to why Easton couldn’t meet her. I didn’t want him to see how selfish she was, or how she treated me. Easton didn’t know about my past with Carter. I didn’t tell him about how my father died, and how much I blamed my mother for it. He didn’t know anything actually. I kept my precious memories to myself, only thinking of them as I fell asleep every night. I kept my secrets even closer, reminding myself every day of the pain I went through when Carter broke my heart into pieces. I didn’t open up to anyone while I lived in South Carolina. I chose to keep everything locked away, thinking if I just stopped remembering the past it would eventually go away. It didn’t, but I learned how to pretend to be perfectly put together.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stop by and see Mama? I know she’ll be ecstatic to see you.” Caden’s voice pulls me out of my head, putting a halt on the way my thoughts were going. I turn to face him, thinking of what to say. “It’s fine if you don’t want to. I just thought I’d ask again before I drop you off at the Barrett’s.”

I sigh, looking away. I do want to see Linda and Mitchell. I miss them just as much as I’ve missed Annie and William. But, I can’t let anyone else see me this way. I feel as though I’ve hit rock bottom. I look and smell horrible. The last thing I want is for them to pity me, and question what happened. If anything, I don’t want them to see how ashamed I am of myself. I could’ve changed how I came back, but I didn’t. I was too weak. “Maybe some other time,” I say quietly. I can’t help but feel like a terrible person as his face falls. He nods, and I hope he understands why I don’t want to see them yet, even if I haven’t told him. Caden used to be very good at reading people, their emotions, and I don’t think that skill ever left. He looks over at me for a moment, giving me a small smile. It reassures me he’s not upset I turned down his request. “Tell me about everyone. How are they?” I add. I want to change the subject, and I do want to know how everyone has been.

Caden makes a right at the red light outside of town. Our ride is coming close to an end, and I realize I don’t want it to. I want to talk to Caden for hours about what I’ve missed. “Who do you want me to start with? You’ve been gone a long time. A lot has changed.”

I think about it for a few minutes before I decide. “Cason. Tell me about him.” I knew it would be best to start with Caden’s twin. Back when we were kids, they shared a bond none of us understood.

I watch his face light up as I mention Cason’s name. He smiles, saying, “Cason is Cason.” He chuckles loudly as if he’s reliving a memory. “He owns a gym now. Mostly teaching the ladies how to defend themselves, and he seems to like being a personal trainer.” He looks both ways at another stop sign before he turns right once more. I start to ask more about Cason, but Caden begins to give me more information. “Cason is probably the one that’s changed the most. You remember how he used to be very quiet, never got into any trouble and was pretty smart in school.” I nod, remembering before I left, Cason seemed the same as he always was. “Well, he’s not like that anymore. None of us understood what happened. It happened shortly after you left, and we went through some shit with Carter. I don’t really know what’s going on with him, and that’s saying a lot since I can always tell when something’s off. He’s always in a pissed off mood or picking fights for no reason. I’ve had to get him out of trouble more times than I’d care too.”

I feel my chest tighten when he mentions Carter, but I ignore it. Caden doesn’t speak for a few moments, and I don’t interrupt him for a while. He seems lost in his thoughts, and I hate that Cason isn’t the same as he once was. “What about Clark and Caleb?” I ask, hoping to take his mind off his troubling twin.

“Clark’s deployed right now. He joined the Army as soon as he turned eighteen, and he calls home every chance his gets. He’s always been the hero type out of all of us. Now, Caleb, he’s doing pretty well. He’s getting ready to graduate at MIT.”

“Really? Wow, that’s amazing. I always knew Clark would join the military. It’s all he ever talked about, and Caleb’s one of the smartest people I know. It doesn’t surprise me he went to MIT.”

“Yeah, I’m proud of both of them, but I can’t help but worry about Clark getting deployed so much. This will be his fourth deployment, and he tries to play it off when he comes home that he’s not affected by what he has to do or sees, but Carter and I notice it. He’s not the same, and I can’t say I blame him. I don’t know if I could handle seeing the shit he does. ”

I clench my jaw, turning my head away, hearing Caden mention Carter again. No matter how long it’s been, just hearing his name makes my chest ache. It’s like when you love someone so much, then suddenly they’re not apart of your life anymore, any type of conversation about them makes you miss the good times. The times when you were happy. I don’t respond to Caden, letting the silence take over the car again. Glancing out the window, I watch the houses pass by. It’s strange how everything seems the same, but completely different. My stomach fills with butterflies as we pass over the railroad tracks, knowing any moment we’ll be at Annie and William’s home.

Caden expertly takes a sharp curve, and I see their house. It’s exactly how I remember it. It’s a small two-story house, with a country feel to it. The paint is now a pale yellow, instead of the bright color it was before I left. The yard is beautifully manicured, and I can’t help but remember how I used to help Annie plant flowers in the spring. Caden pulls into their gravel driveway and parks. He doesn’t turn off his police car, letting it idle. I think he knows I need to do this part on my own, and I really don’t want Caden seeing me break down. I can already feel the tears burning in my eyes, and a lump forming in my throat.

I unbuckle my seat belt, then place my bag in my lap. Right before I open the door, I feel Caden’s hand on my shoulder. “Here’s my cell,” he says as he hands me a piece of paper. “If you ever need anything, anything at all, call me. Even if it’s just to talk or if you need a ride.” I take the piece of paper, holding onto it like a lifeline. I nod, but I can’t look at him. My eyes are full of unshed tears, and I don’t dare blink. I don’t want to cry.

Instead of saying anything, he pulls me into his arms, hugging me tightly. I squeeze him, hoping he understands how grateful I am for the ride, even if I can’t tell him at the moment. I slowly pull away, quickly getting out of the car. Shutting the door, I glance up at the front porch. I’ve made a lot of memories on that front porch. The Harlow boys and I would eat popsicles on the swing in the summer. We would play Go Fish and I Spy once we got bored. I had my first kiss on that porch. Many nights of kissing, actually.

I swallow, and shake my head as I will the memories to stop. I rearrange my bag strap on my shoulder and place the piece of paper in my pocket, as I walk towards Annie and William’s home. I hear Caden pulling out of the driveway, and I have to make myself not run to the house when Annie steps outside. Tears continue to fill my eyes as I get closer. Reaching the porch, I take the steps one at a time, careful not to trip. I get to the top, a place that I’ve been a thousand times, and grin when I see Annie smiling brightly back at me. It seems surreal seeing she hasn’t changed that much in thirteen years. Her hair is all gray now, and a few more wrinkles cover her face, but everything else looks the same. Her honey brown eyes light up as I walk closer. I’m about a foot taller than she is, but that’s never stopped her from taking me in her arms.  

“Hi, Annie.” I hear a gasp from her, and I wrap my arms around her small frame. I can’t even describe how I feel at this very moment. I don’t stop the tears from falling. I don’t stop the cries that escape, but Annie never says a word. She rubs my back, letting me cry. I slowly pull away when my tears finally seem to dry up. I wipe my face with the back of my hands, and let out a laugh when Annie takes the dish towel off her shoulder. She wipes her face, then waves it back and forth afterwards.

I don’t know how to explain my unexpected visit, but Annie doesn’t give me the chance to even try. “Come on inside. I’ll get you set up in your old room, and we can talk later.” I nod, following her inside the house. I shut the screen door behind me, as a sense of calmness washes over me. Even as a little girl, Annie and William’s home always seemed relaxing. It was as if I knew I belonged here instead of with my Mom. I always felt as if I were apart of The Barrett family, and there was never a time I didn’t feel safe and loved. Their house still feels this way. I grin, noticing their home hasn’t changed that much either. The hardwood floors are still the same dark color. Their couch still looks old, but comfortable. Pictures still cover the walls, and I walk over to inspect a few new ones on the entertainment center. I remember asking Annie once, why she didn’t have any children of her own. She smiled at me, saying, “I have you and the boys. That’s all I need.” I was too young to really understand, but as I got older, I realized Annie and William had tried for years, and it just never happened for them. Maybe that’s why fate brought me to them. Maybe some higher power saw how awful Mom was, and sent me here. I still remember the day I met them. I was seven, and I’d gotten lost in Wal-Mart while Mom was shopping. Annie found me, and helped me look for her. I remember Annie made me feel safe, and I was so comfortable around her. Once we realized Mom had left me, Annie took me back to her house and made me supper. Mom didn’t come get me until the next day, but after that, I came over every day to see them.

I hear Annie calling for William, and I drop my bag, thankful to be brought out of my memory. I sit down on the comfy couch, as Annie walks into the kitchen. I can see her from where I’m sitting and watch her pull a plate out of the cabinet. I assume she’s fixing a plate of food when she turns, making her way to the stove. My head snaps right as I hear heavy footsteps. I already know who it is, and when I see him, I jump off the couch and run to him. He immediately opens his arms, embracing me as he always did when I was younger. I close my eyes, taking in his familiar smell of motor oil and of the outdoors. “It’s been way too long, Shelby.”

I let him go and nod. “I know. It’s good to be home.”

“Come on, you two. I got breakfast waitin’,” Annie interrupts. I smile and William places a hand on my back as we walk into the kitchen. I’m still shocked at how William and Annie haven’t changed much over the years. William’s jet black hair is still streaked with grey. His dark brown eyes still have warmth in them, and you can’t help but smile when he does. I take a seat, and shake my head seeing how much taller William is compared to Annie’s small frame. But they just fit together. They’re the couple that you could never picture one without the other. When you’re around them, you can’t help but feel their love, just like now. I look away, as they share a sweet peck on the lips, and feel my face flush. Even after all this time, I still feel as though I’m intruding on their sweet moments.

Annie sets a plate full of food in front of me, and my mouth instantly starts to water. I lick my lips and devour the food. I scarf down the scrambled eggs, then move onto the crispy bacon. I have most of my food eaten before Annie places a glass of orange juice in front of me. I drink the entire glass before I notice the concerned looks from Annie and William. I glance a way, wiping my mouth. Neither one say anything about how I’m eating my food, and I’m glad for it. I don’t want to explain anything. Maybe one day I’ll talk to Annie about it, but right now, I don’t want them feeling sorry for me.

Annie places a hand on top of mine, and I know she understands. I can see it in her eyes. She pats my hand as she asks, “When did you get back in town?”

I sigh in relief when she doesn’t ask me anything I’m not ready to talk about yet. “An hour ago, actually. I was walking from the bus stop when Caden saw me and offered to give me a ride.”

William nods, as Annie responds, “Oh, Caden, he’s such a sweetheart. You know Caden and Cason still stop by from time to time. I know Clark and Caleb would if they were here. Carter used to come by more, but he hasn’t lately.”