Carry You Home (Carry Your Heart #2) (63 page)

And even though the distance between us had been very intentional on Caleb's part, his motivations for cutting our ties were more defined now in a way I could finally wrap my head around.

He'd honestly believed he was doing the right thing by letting me walk away. In the process, he'd also willing put himself in a self-inflicted purgatory of despair and loneliness. Like he was paying penance for the role he'd played in what had happened to us. Like his guilt was so all-consuming that he'd honestly believed he didn't deserve me.

In the end, what more did I really want from him at the time? He'd done what he thought I wanted and all I'd done was say one thing but really mean something else like a typical girl. And all my accusations, all my pouting about him not reaching out when I'd basically told
him not to by leaving wasn't fair and it definitely wasn't very mature. I wasn't completely innocent here either.

And I think I understood the root of all my anxiety better now too—aside from my decisions involving school and my internship, I'd had almost zero say in any major aspect of our relationship. From our house all the way to his arrest, Caleb had called all the shots while I'd helplessly and passively flailed out of control with nothing to do but stand by and watch my life fall apart.

But now, I couldn't help but feel that time and clarity had finally put us on an even playing field.

As I rounded the corner of our block, my steps slowed, subconsciously giving myself just a few more minutes.

I loved Caleb Sawyer. I wanted the family and the life we were supposed to have together. I wanted
him
. I wanted to spend every day and every moment with him for as long as I could.

What it all came down to now was a matter of trust. Walking up the driveway, stepping onto the porch, and taking my place next to Caleb would mean I would have to choose to trust him. There was nothing he could really say or do to prove he would never push me away or take me for granted again.

If I did this, I'd have to proceed on trust, faith, and love.

Life had broken us and the pieces scattered around the highway from Claremont all the way to New York, but I didn't want to be broken anymore.

I wanted to come home.

I dropped Cooper's leash when we got into the yard and smiled when Caleb hopped down from the porch to meet me halfway. I gripped the front of his shirt when he was close enough and then leaned forward to press my lips into his mouth. His thumb grazed my cheek and his arms wrapped around my waist to pull me in even closer. My lips moved over his, wanting to taste him, and wanting to show him everything I still hadn't said.

Finally, I pulled away and leaned my forehead against his with one hand still grazing his cheek. Our eyes locked and the soft lift in his smile told me everything I needed to know.

"I love you," I whispered.

Caleb's eyes squeezed shut for just a moment and when they opened again, they gleamed back at me with the unconditional love I'd always found there.

"I love you, too," he whispered back.

He tilted his chin just enough to brush his lips against mine again. The finality and the inevitability of it all left me feeling exactly the way I knew I would: calm, peaceful, elated, and blissfully happy.

"So I guess this means you want me to stay?" Caleb asked me now, a light, knowing smile curving his mouth.
 

I bit back a laugh and grinned. "Yeah, I want you to stay."

Caleb's smile just widened as his fingers trailed down my cheek and he leaned in to murmur, "Okay, Iz."

Caleb

Light slipped in through the blinds and I tugged Isabelle closer to me so I could bury my face in her hair. Her alarm would probably go off soon, but I needed to hold on a little bit longer. All that mattered was her skin and her warmth pressed against me. She hummed a little, turning around so she could press her face into my chest and I slipped my fingertips underneath her tank top.

"I have to get up soon," Isabelle murmured into my chest.

"That's alright. We've got plenty of time."

She laughed and I could feel her smiling against my skin. "Always thinking with one part of your body, huh?"

I just shrugged. Couldn't really argue with that. Now that I had her back, now that nothing was standing in our way, some part of me always had to be touching her. It wasn't easy to hold back, especially since when we weren't in her bed, we didn't have any other real alone time—the kind that we'd missed out on for so long. On the other hand, we couldn't exactly rip each other's clothes off in her dad's house either.

It wasn't perfect, but that was okay. We still had some issues to work through, some hills we'd have to climb, and that was okay, too. Just as long as she was still here.

My lips had just found the side of her neck when her phone alarm blared from the nightstand. She reached for it, but I pulled her wrist behind her back, ignoring her playful yelp as I swiped her phone and hit snooze.

"Caleb!" her muffled laugh echoed in my ears and I couldn't stop my lips from starting a trail down her neck. She squirmed a little, but I didn't let go. There was no way I was letting go.

"I have to get up," she swatted me on the shoulder. "Seriously."

"No, you don't. Ten minutes, babe. That's all I need."

Her eyes lifted up to the ceiling, but her beautiful lips still curved into a smile. "Ten minutes, huh? Where have I heard that before?"

"Okay, fine. Fifteen minutes, babe. That's all I need."

Isabelle's sweet laugh filled my ears again and I grinned down at her as she leaned into my shoulder. I took that opportunity and skimmed a hand up her back in a vain attempt at getting that tank top over her head. It didn't work because she just batted away my hands and playfully pulled out of my arms.

I slumped back on her pillow, still reaching out for her as she slipped out of bed and shimmied on a pair of those tiny sleep shorts she knew drove me up the wall.

"Ugh," I groaned. "You're gonna kill me, you know."

"I know," she laughed and leaned down to kiss my cheek before she scampered off, leaving me no opportunities to yank her back down into bed.

When she closed the door behind her, I figured I might as well get my lazy ass up and be helpful. Coffee would probably be appreciated and since my list of things to do around the house were dwindling every day, this was something I could do. But when I padded out of Isabelle's bedroom, I stopped short in front of the bathroom. I could hear her rustling around in there, probably getting ready to hop in the shower, and that gave me an amazing idea.

We might not have had a ton of time to ourselves these last few days, but I wasn't about to miss an opportunity when a golden one presented itself. Unfortunately for me, the second my hand found the bathroom doorknob was also the second the door across the hall opened.

I froze and squeezed my eyes shut.

Shit. Caught red-handed.

I could already feel my face turning red and ran a hand over my head awkwardly. Sam just cocked an eyebrow at me as if to say,
Yeah, I know what you were just about to do to my daughter, you asshole.

His daughter might be mine, but this was still his house.

"I was just, uh," my lips pulled apart sheepishly and that was about as far as I got. There was no easy way to explain why I'd wanted to be in the bathroom at the same time as his daughter.

"It's not like I've got my head buried in the sand. I'm well aware you two lived together, you know," he called out to me and I didn't know what made me wince more: the embarrassment or the fact that his voice seemed even weaker than when I saw him the night before.

His weary eyes, so faded now they were more grey than blue, scrutinized me sharply and it took me a moment to realize just what held his focus.

"I didn't know you had that," he lifted his chin and pointed at my chest.

I glanced down and ran a hand over my bare chest, right where Isabelle's full name was inked on my skin. That tattoo had always been a badge of honor, a source of pride, and up until just a few days ago, a pain-filled reminder of what I might never have again. Now I had half a mind to walk around shirtless everyday for the rest of my life just to show it off.

"I've had it for a long time," I told him from across the hall.

A weak smile pulled at his lips and at this point, I figured, what the hell? I hadn't necessarily planned on doing this today, but I didn't want to waste any more time. So I just went for it instead.

"Hey, Sam? I've been meaning to talk to you about something," I motioned with my head to the stairs. "Do you think we could...?"

Why was I suddenly nervous? My palms got a little sweaty, my heart galloped a little in my chest, but this wasn't the kind of thing I needed to be scared of. It's not like I didn't know what either of them would say.

"Probably a good idea to do it now while she's preoccupied," he gestured toward the bathroom door as he spoke. "She'll be in there for a while."

I huffed out a laugh. Yeah. We had at least a good half hour. Probably more.

So after I skidded back into Isabelle's bedroom to grab what I needed and I had a pot of coffee going in the kitchen, I leaned up against the island as he sank down onto a stool. I smiled wistfully at Cooper, who sat next to Sam with his head in his lap. The dog had barely left his side ever since we brought him back from the emergency room, but I couldn't dwell on that now. We had some important business to take care of.

With that thought, I dug into my pocket and set the tiny velvet box down on the island. His eyebrows lifted into his forehead as he reached out to snap it open. He nodded to me when he shut the box and set it back down on the counter.

About eight years ago, I never would've pictured this moment as even a possibility, let alone a reality. Never could've imagined I'd ever get here with this man, who, at one point, I'd definitely threatened to throw into an unmarked grave.

"So," I grinned at him. "I'd like to marry your daughter. I just need your permission first."

He laughed heartily and his gaze fell to the counter, right back on that velvet box. "I was wondering when you were going to talk to me about that. It's about time."

"Right," I shook my head and leaned back on the counter. "I guess I just never thought I'd ever be in a position again where I'd get to actually ask you and where she might actually say yes."

"Ah," he just batted a hand at me. "I was never too worried about that. She's a stubborn little thing—gets that from her mom. Let me tell you, her mom just got more stubborn with age, so I guess you have that to look forward to."

And it will be a pleasure,
I thought with a smile.

"And," he went on, "I have to say I'm still not convinced anyone's good enough for her, but you come pretty close. I trust you, Caleb. I hope you know that. And while I might be leaving the house to Isabelle, I'm leaving her to you. That's not something I'm doing lightly."

I swallowed hard. "I know that, Sam."

"Whatever she needs, whatever she wants, you have to make sure she gets it, okay?"

My eyes stung and I had to bit down on my bottom lip just to keep it from trembling. This wasn't how this conversation was supposed to go, but somewhere along the way, he and I had gotten to this point. Built out of necessity, at first, but it had slowly morphed into a mutual respect I'd never expected. I couldn't have been more grateful for it.

"I will," I murmured hoarsely. "I promise."

He smiled and from the looks of it, his own eyes were already misting with unshed tears. He held out a hand and I took it, clasping his hand firmly.

"You're not going to start calling me Dad, are you?"

I choked out a rough laugh and shook my head. "No. Hadn't planned on it."

"Well," he told me, his voice hitching a little as he spoke. "I'm proud to call you my son-in-law. You're a good man, Caleb. You're smart, you're loyal, and you're strong. You love my daughter. You'll take care of her and all my future grandkids. I couldn't have asked for anything more for her."

I smiled through my blurry vision and swallowed back the lump in my throat. "I won't let you down, Sam."

"I know," he nodded. "I just have one condition though."

He went on to detail his request and I found myself nodding in agreement before he even finished. It was simple enough to pull off and at the end of the day, I couldn't think of anything better. In fact, it was
exactly
the way it was supposed to be.

Now all I needed was to put that ring back where it belonged.

.
     
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"Oh hell," Saul tsked and shook his head, gesturing for me to move a little closer. He made quick work of straightening my tie and patted my shoulder when he was finished. "There. You're all set now."

I tugged at my collar a little—definitely wasn't used to wearing stiff clothes like this—and winced. My gaze dropped down to my simple white button-down, black dress pants, and dress shoes that were about a half size too small. "I look okay, right?"