Authors: Stephen Birmingham
This time, he was a lot friendlier. “I like the way you move,” he said. “I like the way you look, and I like the way you talk. You realize that this will be a fairly small department. In addition to dealing with the vendors, you're going to have to spend a certain amount of time on the selling floor with our clients. It's important to look just right when you're working for a store like Tarkington's.”
I thanked him. It was nice to know that I looked right.
“You also have a sense of style,” he said. “For instance, I notice that you're wearing the same white dress you wore when you came to see me last. But you've varied it with that black patent belt. Very smart.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“You have a sense of style without spending a lot of money on your clothes. That's unusual.”
I thanked him again. I didn't tell him that at the time I had only three decent outfits to my name, and I had to hand-wash and iron that particular white linen job every time I wore it.
“For instance, the belt can't have cost you more than two dollars,” he said.
“Woolworth's,” I admitted.
“The buckle is beginning to chip,” he said. “You might try patching it with a bit of black nail polish.”
I made a mental note to throw that belt in the nearest Salvation Army collection bin the minute I left his office.
“There's only one thing that worries me, Miss Smith,” he said.
I asked him what that was.
“You have a very quick, almost violent temper.”
I thought, Oh, God. My Irish temper, my mother used to call it. That meant he'd been talking to my last boss. He'd blamed me for something one of the other girls had done, and I got so mad I trashed his officeâthrew his files all over the floor, dumped out his desk drawers, emptied his wastebasket into his
IN
box, really tore up the place. That's what got me fired. “It's true,” I said. “It's something I'm trying to work on about myself. Whenever I lose my temper, I get into trouble. I think I've learned that it isn't worth it.”
“Retailing can be a very stressful business,” he said. “Particularly around the holiday season. There'll be long hours, tight delivery schedules, impatient and demanding customers. We can't have any outbursts of temper here, Miss Smith. Can you keep that pressure valve under control?”
“After the last experience, I think I know how to handle it,” I said. “I guess you've been talking to the people at Shaughnessy Construction.”
He smiled at me. “No,” he said. “I saw it in your handwriting sample.”
“Well,” I said, “there's one other thing you should know about me. I'm really terrible at figures.”
“I saw that in your sample too,” he said. “But I assume you can read a price tag and tell a customer what an item costs.”
“Oh, yes. I'm talking about long sheets of figures, computer printoutsâ”
“All thatâdaily sales figures, pricing, inventory keepingâis handled by my office. All you need in this job is good taste and a knowledge of fine jewelryâan âeye,' as I call itâa winning, service-oriented personality, and an ability to sign a vendor's receipt. My office handles the rest. When can you come to work for us, Miss Smith?”
That was when I realized I had the job.
“I'm taking a big gamble on you, Miss Smith,” he said. “A big gamble.”
At first, I thought Tommy Bonham was my pal. I thought the little suggestions he made were his way of being helpful. Later, I was not so sure whether Tommy was my pal or not. There was something about the way he played his brand of office politics that I began not to like so much, not to really trust. Tommy is a manipulator, a conniver. He's very good at playing one person against another. Maybe he feels he can get the best work out of people by keeping things stirred up. But at other times he seems to just enjoy making mischief, causing trouble. Of course he was our liaison between the sales staff and department heads and Mr. Si, as everybody called him. He had Mr. Si's ear, and he was always making us aware of that fact. He'd say, “Mr. Si hasn't been too happy with your work lately,” and things like that. Or, “Your department's figures weren't as good for May as they were for April, and Mr. Si wonders why.” Who knew whether Mr. Si was really saying these things? Or Tommy would try to get one buyer to criticize another buyer's performance. Like, “Miss So-and-So in Lingerie has taken a lot of sick days lately. Do you think she's pregnant?” And you'd have to be careful what you said, or it could get back to Mr. Si.
In the beginning, I had very little to do with Mr. Si. Oh, I'd met him, of course. I'd been introduced to him when I joined the store. He was very polite, almost stiff and formal. “Welcome to our Tarkington's family,” and all that. Whenever he passed my department he'd wave and smile, but he was rather aloof, really. The thought of a romantic relationship with him never entered my head becauseâwell, he was at least twice my age, and he had this coldly beautiful white swan of a wife who wafted in and out of the store now and then, smelling of Shalimar and looking as though she'd been packaged by one of our window dressers. And I'd gathered that there was sort of an unwritten rule against employees socializing after hours. At the time I was dating two or three different guys, no one in particular and no one seriously. If there was anyone at the store I'd have liked to date, it would have been Tommy Bonham, just because he was such a gorgeous hunk and becauseâwell, you know, a girl can't help but wonder what a guy like that, who's such a smoothie, such a cool customer, would be like in the sack. “Like a wild animal!” the other girls whispered, though none of them could claim to have had firsthand experience.
But Tommy never showed any sexual interest in me, except once, and I'm not even sure that was what it was. I'd been working there about three months, and Tommy came into my department. “Mr. Si is a little disappointed in your figures, Smitty,” he said. “We know this is a new department, but we'd been hoping you'd do better. Do you have any idea what might be wrong?”
“Well,” I said, “this department is kind of tucked into a corner of the store, where we don't get the traffic they get on the center aisle, and I don't have that much square footage or display space. Women like to browse for jewelry, but they don't buy it on impulse, the way they buy handbags, shoes, and apparel. I need space for women to browse, spot a piece, remember it, and come back and buy it.”
“That's true,” he said. “If they can't see it, they won't want it.”
“And I'll tell you something else,” I said. “There's this one vendor, Harriet Minskoff, who keeps insisting that I call her Honeychile. Her stuff isn't very pretty and, quite frankly, a lot of it isn't very good. And yet I gather it's sort of store policy to take her things on consignment, display them, and try to sell them. Just between you and me, her things cheapen my department.”
He frowned. “Mrs. Minskoff is something of a special case,” he said.
Later, I found out what sort of “special case” this Mrs. Minskoff was. At the time, I thought she might be a girlfriend of Mr. Si's. Not at all. It was her husband, a man named Moses Minskoff, a man I never actually met, who had his hooks into Si somehow, some debt Si owed him from years ago. I never did find out what it was. Si wouldn't talk about it. But I knew Si had been trying to get free of Minskoff for years, and Tommy was trying to help. But Minskoff had stuck to Si like a leech, and I was stuck with trying to sell Mrs. Minskoff's crappy stuff, which had to be displayed front and center.
Anyway, Tommy said to me, “You know, Smitty, a lot of our jewelry customers are males, looking for gifts for their wives or girlfriends. I wonder whether you might try for a little sexier look. You have a wonderful body and great breasts. What if you were to try to display a little more of a cleavage? I don't want you to look cheap, of course, but try displaying a little more cleavage. And I want to suggest a scent for you. Try Equipage.”
Well, at the time I didn't know whether this was a come-on or not, but I decided it was just an honest business tip. So I tried it. And believe it or not, sales improved. I could tell by just looking at the bottom line. A month later, Tommy came by again. “Mr. Si is very pleased with your last month's figures, Smitty,” he said. He grinned and tapped his breastbone with his fingertip. “That's doing it. You look sexy but not cheap. You've got that Catherine Deneuve look.”
Then, a couple of months laterâI remember it was still summerâTommy came by my department again and said, “Mr. Si is really happy with your department's figures, Smitty. In fact, he's looking into ways to give you more display space.”
“That would be terrific,” I said.
“He'd very much like to discuss this with you and get your input.”
“Great,” I said. “Does he want to see me now?”
“If you're free, he'd like to invite you to lunch next Saturday at his farm in Old Westbury. Can you make it?”
“That would be terrific,” I said.
At the time, I thought to myself, If he wants to invite me to lunch, why doesn't he do it himself, instead of having his chief honcho do it for him? But I thought, What the hell? Maybe this is the way things work here. Everything goes through channels, through a chain of command.
“Mrs. Tarkington will be in Paris, for the
prêt-à -porter
collections,” he said. “So it will be just the two of you, lunching alone. Will you be comfortable with that?”
“Sure!” I said, in a kind of breezy way, trying not to show how excited I really was. Lunching alone with the Big Enchilada. Maybe he was going to offer me a raise! Maybe he was going to make me street floor merchandise manager! That's where you get into the real money in retailing, as a merchandise manager.
“You might want to bring up the Mrs. Minskoff problem when you talk to him,” he said. “He's aware of it, of course. But hearing from you that there's a very serious problem here might have more impact on him.”
“I'll do that,” I said.
“Good,” he said. “Mr. Si's car and driver will pick you up at your apartment at eleven-thirty next Saturday morning and drive you out to Long Island.”
“Great,” I said.
Great! That was hardly the word for it. I'd been invited to a private business lunch with the big boss himself, and I'd even been given an agenda, a business problem that needed solving. And I was going to be driven to Long Island in a chauffeur-driven Rolls! My only wish was that somehow my mother could be there to see me as I got into that car.
“Obviously, you won't mention this to anyone else in the store,” he said.
“Absolutely not,” I promised.
It was a tall order, keeping that promise. I wanted to squeal the news to everyone in sight. But I kept my promise, and I was so excited that I could hardly wait for next Saturday to come.
Of course I didn't find out till later that this had always been a part of Tommy's job, lining up women for his boss whenever the boss's wife was out of town.
With Tommy's looks and Si Tarkington's money, they had a winning combination.
Si Tarkington and Prettyboy Bonham. What a duo.
29
Diana Smith (interview taped 10/19/91, continued)
Billings, the chauffeur, picked me up in front of my building that Saturday morning at eleven-thirty sharp, and I was driven out to Old Westbury in the back seat of the Rolls, feeling like a queen. I'm sure Billings knew perfectly well what this mission was all aboutâhe'd probably made this same run with a girl out to his boss's house a hundred times beforeâbut I didn't know that yet.
I'd dressed for this meeting very carefully. I wore my white linenâit was still my best outfitâthough naturally I'd thrown out the damn patent leather belt. I dressed it up with a scarf this time. I wore what I thought a girl should wear for a business lunch with her boss in the country. Very little jewelry, just gold earrings and a gold bracelet.
Flying Horse Farm was the most beautiful place I'd ever seenâthe circular gravel driveway, the white Georgian columnsâand Si was standing on the front steps to meet us. I'd never been in a house like that before, and Si took me on a little tour: the white living room overflowing with chairs and sofas in red and green English chintz, with a Lautrec, a Gauguin, and a Cézanne on the walls; the dining room draped in green faille swags at the chair rail and, above that, the most beautifully delicate green-and-white striped wallpaper, with tiny roses trailing between the stripes. Upstairs, his wife's pale yellow bedroom had a canopy bed of white tambour trimmed with red satin ribbon, and his bedroom walls were covered with hunter-green felt, with matching draperies, and a Dufy watercolor over the fireplace. His bathroom was all green marble and bronze-tinted mirroring, and his bedroom even had its own kitchenette and wet bar. But you've been to Flying Horse. I don't need to describe it to you. Everything about it was perfection. Every beautiful, tiny object was perfectly in place.
Later, I found out that Connie's perfectionism was one of the things that irritated him about her. He liked to make a bit of a mess now and then. But that wouldn't do for Miss Perfect. With her, everything had to be
just so
, right down to the arrangement of the Shalimar bottles on her bathroom shelves: big bottles on one shelf, smaller ones on the next, and so on.
Lunch was very polite and rather formal, served by Milliken, in white gloves, on green-and-white Meissen china that matched the wallpaper. I noticed the little touches. For instance, the roses and baby's breath in the centerpiece had been misted, so they looked as though they were covered with dew. I made one gaffe. When I unfolded my napkin, a small dinner roll flew out of the center and bounced across the carpet. Milliken scooped it up without comment and immediately replaced it with a fresh one. Si pretended not to notice.