Caroline (24 page)

"Dear Caro, are you all right? You have been sitting here for over an hour! Everett would not tell Stanley or me what had happened, and Sacha forbade me to come to you until now. You are positively white! Please tell me what is wrong!"

Caro let the taller girl put her arms around her and rested her forehead against Natalya's shoulder with a sigh.

"I simply don't know what's going to become of me. Everett asked me to marry him and his emotion was pitiful. I felt so sorry for him—and for me, too."

Natalya's arms stiffened as she said in a strained voice, "But, surely you don't mean to say that you refused him!"

Caro's head came up in surprise. "Of course I did! How could I accept? I have no love for the man!"

"What does that signify? As long as you are in love with Sacha, your heart is closed to any other man. But, can't you see that if you continue this way you will wither and die! Your only hope is to marry someone who loves you and pray that his love will heal your heart. I am certain that in time you would come to love Everett—he is a fine man with a promising future! What sort of a life do you think awaits you as Sacha's ward?"

Caro moved away and looked off toward the house.

"I do not share your sentiments and I cannot accept your advice. It is easy for you to direct me to enter into a loveless marriage when you have no such prospects yourself. I know better than anyone what a romantic you are. You will never marry until you are blind with love!"

"But my case is different! Your situation is desperate, Caro—"

"Not so desperate that I would cheat Everett by marrying him without a glimmer of love for him. He is a nice man and deserves someone who can make him happy."

"But, Caro!"

She stood up then, averting her eyes.

"I believe I shall pay a visit to Grandmere. I have not spoken with her since we learned we will be leaving Belle Maison tomorrow. I should like to tell her good-bye privately."

"Rose has finished packing your trunks," Natalya said flatly. "You needn't worry about that. Sacha shows no signs of leaving the house tonight, so it will probably be easier for you to pass some of the time with Grandmere."

Caro smiled weakly at her, then glanced again toward the house. Natalya thought she perceived a golden spark in her friend's brown eyes, but then she turned away and proceeded across the garden. Twilight was gathering swiftly, and the shadows soon swallowed her up. With a resigned shrug, Natalya got to her feet and pulled the hood of her nithsdale closer about her face to ward off the sharp evening chill, then she turned from the garden toward the welcoming lights of the main house.

Grandmere did not seem surprised to find Caro on her doorstep so near to supper. In fact, Caro had a feeling that she was expecting her. The cozy candlelit parlor with its paintings and crewelwork beckoned to her like an old friend. Grandmere did not join her immediately, but said conversationally from the doorway:

"Perhaps I shall pour a small glass of wine for you,
ma chere.
I have some excellent Sancerre that I brought from France. It will relax you."

Without waiting for an answer, she left the room and returned with two crystal goblets and a matching decanter of wine on a silver tray. Seating herself next to Caro on the narrow settee, she poured the wine with tiny, steady hands.

"Do you like my tray?" Grandmere inquired pleasantly. "Sacha gave it to me for my seventy-fifth birthday. A silversmith called Paul Revere made it. I understand his work is quite well known."

Since she appeared to be waiting for a reply, Caro offered, "Oh, yes. I have heard of him." But of course she had not. "The tray is beautiful."

When she looked up into the old woman's bright dark eyes, they seemed to look into her very soul and know all her secrets. The knot of tension inside her relaxed as she regarded her friend and sipped the crisp white wine. A part of her wanted to reveal the truth about her lost memory and her relationship with Alec, but somehow she could sense that Grandmere knew everything already.

"My grandson tells me you will be leaving us tomorrow
.
I do not need to express to you how much I shall miss your company. My fondness for you is truly genuine."

Caro felt hot tears welling up at the exquisite tenderness in Grandmere's voice. The old woman took one of her hands, and her warm, dry touch was oddly comforting.

"Also, my concern for you is genuine," Grandmere continued gently. "I deplore meddling in any form, but it is my affection for you—and my grandchildren—that has brought me to this point."

At these words, hope flooded through Caro and she burst out: "Oh, Grandmere, I should be so grateful for any advice you could give me. My life is in such a muddle!"

"You would not need advice from me if you had followed your own instincts from the first. You are a bright, clever girl, and you have an inner goodness that would have led you on the right course. Your only mistake has been listening to other people's advice."

"All I really wish to say to you is that you should not listen to Natalya. Because she is Sacha's sister, that does not mean that she is all-wise. Her image of Sacha is still founded in the hero worship of a
jeune fille
and a sister, for she has not seen enough of him to alter it much. Certainly
,
she knows him quite well, but only the part of his personality that is a brother. I would venture to say that you know my grandson's true nature as well as anyone."

Caro was looking at her in disbelief, yet she could feel her usual buoyancy creeping back into her heart.

"You cannot credit that what I say is true?" Grandmere smiled. "I have no proof, but Sacha and I are quite good friends. He is an elusive man, and it takes special qualities in a person to hold him near." She paused, watching Caro. "I understand that you two became quite close during your days alone in Connecticut?" Her tone was neutral.

Caro blushed in the shadows, but couldn't resist a small smile. "I thought that we did, Grandmere. But Alec is a confusing man, and I was quite confused myself...."

"
Mais oui
, I can understand that. But you were doing your best then, before you had outside influence. Tell me, who else besides my granddaughter has been talking to you about Sacha?"

"Well, Mrs. Van Der Pat—and Pierre—and, then Alec told me himself at the start that he was a scoundrel, and-"

"I know what he is. His father and his grandfather were the same." Grandmere's wrinkled face was young for an instant as she smiled reminiscently. "My husband, Etienne, was the best sort of rake. Ah, I can still see that devilish gleam in his eye that made me go weak with love. There are only a few such men born, it might be years before he finds her. And then, he cannot see that there is a change; you see how it is?"
ma chere
. An extraordinary man needs a special woman, and

Caro nodded, and Grandmere paused to pour some more wine, giving her a moment to consider what she had heard.

"I must explain also about Natalya," she continued at length, her brow puckering like dry parchment. "She is young and headstrong like all the Beauvisages. All her life she has adored Sacha, and has basked in the special place she sees herself as holding in his heart." She laughed softly. "You are a very real threat to her! Understand, though, that my granddaughter understands none of this. She is a kind, good girl and loves you fiercely. She has convinced herself that no woman can win Sacha's heart. Any envy she feels for you is deeply hidden—even from herself. She believes that she is working for your best interests...
"

Caro's cheeks were rosy from the wine, her brown eyes liquid with contemplation. "Someday Natalya will meet the right man," she murmured, "and then she will have no more time to think of Alec. All the young men she sees now are far too ordinary!"

"Like Mr. MacGowan?" Grandmere inquired innocently.

"You knew about him?" Caro exclaimed. "But of course you would. He proposed to me today with great fervor."

"And you refused?"

"I do not love him."

The two women sat in the dusky candle glow, smiling at each other with unspoken understanding. At length, Grandmere reached over to smooth Caro's windblown curls. "It is time for supper and everyone will wonder what has become of you," she prodded gently.

"Won't you come, too?"

"
Non
, I have had a tiring day. I believe I shall retire early."

Impulsively, Caro leaned over and hugged the old woman so hard she was afraid she had hurt her.

"Thank you, thank you, Grandmere. You have truly opened my eyes."

"You must promise me something, Caroline," she replied, drawing back to look at her determinedly. "Never doubt your own instincts, for you probably know more of the truth than those who have known Sacha all of their lives. And do not hesitate to reach out with both hands to grasp what you want. You will find that the grandest rewards are those you must take the risks to win! Do you understand?"

She arched a pale brow in the Beauvisage way, and Caro beamed back at her gaily. Getting to her feet, she gave Grandmere's hands a final squeeze and declared:

"Win or lose, I shall gamble tonight! Wish me luck!"

Chapter 18

Caro felt a strong need to be alone for a while to collect her thoughts. Strolling back across the moonlit garden, she could see that the downstairs windows were ablaze with light and guessed that the evening meal was getting under way. On an impulse, she entered through the servants' door and followed the dark winding back staircase up to the second floor. Rose, her maid, was in her bedchamber, packing away a last batch of freshly washed underclothes. She contrived to look disinterested when her mistress appeared, cheeks flushed and hair windblown.

"Rose," Caro said excitedly, "could you help me with one or two matters?"

"Certainly, ma'am."

"I should appreciate it if you would tell them downstairs that I shall not be dining tonight. Simply say that I am tired and wish to retire early."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Then, I would be so grateful if you could arrange a true bath for me. In the brass tub—here in my room. Could that be accomplished?"

"Why, yes, I suppose so, ma'am. Will there be anything else?"

Caro grinned. "Yes—I'm famished! Is there anything to eat downstairs that could be brought to my room?"

Rose's gray eyes widened somewhat.

"Why, to be sure. I'll bring you a tray, ma'am."

"Thank you, Rose. You are a great help to me!"

The maid almost ran into the door as she backed out of the room, and Caro pressed a hand to her mouth to suppress a giggle.

Once alone, she slipped off her shoes and lay back on her bed to gaze up through the fragile pattern of white net. The candles which burned around the room threw long shadows across the ceiling above her, and little by little Caro could feel her confidence ebb with the afterglow of the wine. Closing her eyes, she forced herself to concentrate on Grandmere's encouraging advice. In her mind, she could see Alec clearly, his eyes penetrating even in her memory.

I have to try, she told herself firmly. I shall never know if I do not try. And God knows, my situation cannot grow any worse.

Refusing to dwell on the possibility of rejection and its consequent humiliation, Caro got up to inspect the trunks which stood against the far wall. They were all new and elegant, filled to the brim with beautiful clothes. One of the smaller ones held her underthings and bedgowns, which Caro sorted through carefully. Finally she drew out an unusual gown that might have been made of the most delicate gossamer. Pale lemon in color, it was fashioned of two transparent layers of the finest batiste. Slender ivory ribbons were woven in to form a high waistline, while delicate French lace edged the shallow bodice and hemline. Caro held the bedgown up against herself and wondered why Alec would choose such a garment. She had never seen anything like it, for the prevailing fashion for bedwear dictated a loose, warm white gown with a high, sensibly buttoned neck.

"This bedgown," Caro mused aloud with a faint blush, "is obviously not meant for sleeping!"

At that moment, there was a quick tap at the door, and she swiftly stuffed the gown into the nearby bureau before calling, "Come in!"