Carol Finch (21 page)

“I know.” Clint’s fists clenched and flexed nervously. “I’m such an imbecile. I didn’t think this through before I dragged Amanda down from Kansas for this Run. I should have left her with her family until we had our
home built.” His frantic gaze flew to Karissa. “I don’t know a damn thing about delivering babies, especially one that has decided to make an early arrival. Damn it, Kari, I’m scared.”

Karissa jogged uphill, with Clint hobbling along as fast as he could behind her. Guilt hounded Karissa every step of the way. She knew Amanda had been extremely worried about her after the day Jake Horton had arrived at the homestead to arrest her. Obviously the stressful fretting had sent Amanda into premature labor. The baby wasn’t due for another month and if anything happened to Amanda or this child…

She shoved the grim thought aside and tried to assume Amanda’s optimistic approach to life. The very last thing she wanted to do right now was alarm Amanda more than she probably was.

Out of breath, Karissa ducked inside the tent. She had to school her expression to conceal her concern when she saw Amanda lying on the cot. Pain twisted Amanda’s delicate features and beads of perspiration covered her forehead and upper lip. There was no color whatsoever in her cheeks and dark circles surrounded her eyes.

“Decided to have this baby early, did you?” Karissa said as she eased a hip onto the edge of the cot.

Teeth gritted, fists knotted, Amanda nodded jerkily. “I guess so.”

“Well, don’t you worry about a thing,” Karissa said as cheerfully as she knew how. “I’m going to ride to the fort and fetch the army surgeon. I shouldn’t be gone too long.” She folded her hand over Amanda’s clenched fist. “Everything is going to be fine, Amanda.” She hoped!

When she heard Clint huffing and puffing behind her,
she twisted sideways. “Dip a cloth in water and wipe the perspiration from her face,” she instructed before she focused her attention on Amanda. “Try to relax as best you can. I’ll be back with help before you know it.”

Amanda panted for breath as tears trickled down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry about this, Karissa. You’ve had a terrible week, with so little time to rest, and now I’m being a bother.”

Kari grabbed both her hands and stared into her wan face. “You are no such thing. Never have been, never will be.” She forced a smile for Amanda’s benefit. “Just name this baby after me if she’s a girl and we’ll call it square. Deal?”

A faint smile pursed Amanda’s ashen lips. “Deal…ow! Oh, my, Mamma didn’t tell me it was going to hurt like this!”

When Amanda clutched her belly and moaned in agony, Karissa leaped to her feet. She wanted to stay here and offer Amanda all the comfort possible, but she needed to race to the fort for assistance. No doubt, she was going to worry herself sick until she returned to find Amanda and the baby were all right.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” Karissa promised. “Do not have this baby until I get back!”

Karissa dashed outside and hurriedly snatched up a bridle. She didn’t waste time saddling the mount Rafe had provided for her earlier that evening. Better the sure-footed army mount than the old gray mare, she mused as she pulled herself onto the horse.

Despite the dull headache pounding against her skull, Karissa thundered toward the fort, pushing the horse to its limits. She shouted out her name as she rode past the guard tower and raced through the gate at full canter.

Karissa headed straight for the officers’ quarters and bounded from the winded horse before it came to a full stop. She burst into Rafe’s room unannounced and found him bare chested and barefoot, preparing for bed.

It suddenly dawned on her that Rafe was the first place she came when she needed help. He was the only person she had ever allowed herself to depend on when she needed support and assistance—even now, when she was still irritated with him for doubting her word about the murder case.

Karissa made a mental note never to come to him for help again. If not for her concern for Amanda she wouldn’t be here at all.

“Amanda is having her baby prematurely,” she said hurriedly. “I think she worried so much about me while I was under arrest that she worked herself into early labor. I need to borrow your army surgeon.”

“Down three doors on the right,” Rafe said quickly then grabbed his discarded shirt. “I’ll saddle the horses while you’re rousing Doc Winston. And I’m sorry, Rissa. I’m sorry about everything.”

She nodded without looking back at Rafe on her way out the door. This was no time to become distracted, she told herself firmly. Time was of the essence and she was dreadfully concerned about Amanda.

She pounded on the door three times then poked her head inside the darkened room. “Doc Winston? I need your assistance. My sister-in-law is having her baby prematurely. Please come quickly.”

“I’ll meet you outside as soon as I dress,” said the raspy voice from the darkness.

Karissa walked outside, inhaled a steadying breath and paced back and forth until Rafe arrived with the horses. She barely acknowledged his presence, because
her emotions were in so much turmoil that she feared she would throw herself into his arms and burst into tears if she let her guard down for even an instant.

“You take Sergeant,” Rafe said as he swung from the saddle. “I’ll ride bareback.”

“No, I—”

“Don’t argue with me,” Rafe insisted as he placed the reins in her hand. “Just this once.”

She sighed heavily, nodded then mounted Sergeant. Rafe could see the lines of worry and exhaustion that claimed Karissa’s features. He wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her close, but he doubted she would be receptive.

Now was not the time to try to make amends. Karissa was wrapped up in concern for her sister-in-law. But later, he would compensate, Rafe promised himself resolutely.

Doc Winston scurried outside to mount the horse Rafe had saddled for him. “I’m going to alert Micah,” Rafe said. “I’ll have him bring a wagon to transport mother and child back to the infirmary. The facilities will be better while Amanda is recovering from birthing and you can keep a close watch on her progress.”

“Good idea,” Doc Winston replied as he reined away.

When Karissa and the surgeon trotted off, Rafe hurried back into the officers’ quarters to alert Micah. He was back outside in two minutes. Riding bareback, Rafe thundered toward the Baxter homestead, praying Amanda and her child would have the opportunity to recuperate with a solid roof over their heads at the fort.

Rafe wasn’t sure what he would encounter when he thundered uphill to reach the Baxter homestead. He
could see the silhouettes hovering inside the lighted tent as he brought his horse to a halt. Behind him, the clatter of the wagon indicated that Micah was fast approaching.

When Rafe saw Karissa step outside he hurried forward. “Is everything all right with Amanda and the baby?” He winced when he saw the stream of tears that glittered on Karissa’s cheeks.

“Oh, God!” she wailed.

To his concern and amazement Karissa flung herself at him and he reflexively wrapped her up in his arms. “Oh, God, what?” he demanded worriedly as he held her close to his heart at long last.

“Everything is okay,” she blubbered in relief. “I have a niece and she’s beautiful and perfect, even if she’s just a tiny little thing. Doc says mother and baby are going to be all right. But, Lord, I was so worried!”

Rafe hugged her close while she vented her concern and frustration and cried more tears on his shirt. He rested his chin on the top of her head and thanked the powers that be that this long, harrowing day had turned out much better than he had anticipated.

“What’s the baby’s name?” Rafe murmured.

“Lily Karissa Baxter,” she said on a hitched breath. “She has red-gold hair and she came squawking into the world, mad as the dickens.”

“Sounds as if she’s done her aunt proud. Red hair and a big mouth,” Rafe teased. “I’m sure Clint and Amanda are bursting with pride over their daughter.”

He felt Karissa nod her head against his chest and heard her sniffle before she pulled herself together and stepped away from him. Rafe instantly felt the defensive wall rise. Karissa had leaned on him momentarily for support. But once she had recovered she was distant and remote, assuring Rafe she still hadn’t forgiven him.

“This is where we say our last goodbye,” she told him flatly. “I will always be immensely grateful for all your assistance. Have a good life, General.”

Rafe sighed heavily as Karissa turned around and walked back into the tent to pack a bag for Clint and Amanda’s stay at the post infirmary.

Well, he thought, even if Karissa was still perturbed, he could ease her concern for her family by providing comfortable accommodations at the fort.

When Micah arrived, Rafe walked over to check that the wagon bed had been filled with enough soft padding for a smooth ride to the fort. Then he and Micah carried Amanda and her baby outside to situate them in the wagon. Karissa, he noted, didn’t come near him again.

As he rode away with the entourage, he saw Karissa standing alone outside the tent. Naturally, she had refused his offer of accommodations at the post. She insisted that she needed to remain behind to protect their new homestead.

Rafe breathed a tired sigh and told himself that this was
not
their last goodbye. The mere thought of not having that feisty female in his life was pure hell. He was going to out-stubborn her, he decided resolutely.

Rafe dragged himself through the paces of military routine the following morning. Although he was dead on his feet, he reported for roll call at ten minutes after five then immediately attended stable call to groom and care for Sergeant. After breakfast at six o’clock he placed Micah in charge of fatigue call and mounting of the guard. He made a beeline to his office to write up his investigative reports. At noon he tucked his reports inside the jacket of his uniform and went in search of Micah.

“I’m leaving the garrison in your capable hands for the rest of the day,” Rafe said when he intercepted Micah on his way to the mess hall. “I’m going to report the results of our investigation to Jake Horton. I’m also placing him in charge of transporting all of our prisoners to the U.S. Court for the Western District in Fort Smith. The law states that the accused have a right to a speedy trial and we can’t provide one here, not until the territorial government is organized.”

Micah nodded agreeably then said, “
All
of the prisoners? No favoritism to the one in skirts?”

“No,” Rafe insisted. “Before I leave the garrison I’ll be sending off several telegrams. One of them will be addressed to Vanessa’s father. He can provide an attorney for her upcoming trial. My errands and duties in town will take most of the day.”

Micah arched a curious brow. “What, no visit to a certain homestead southeast of the fort?”

Rafe snorted. “You witnessed the mood Karissa was in yesterday. Do you think a visit from me will be well received?” When Micah grimaced, Rafe nodded. “I didn’t think so either. At this point, all I can do is insure that news of her exoneration is passed around town and the vigilante mob understands that the guilty parties will be transferred to Fort Smith to stand trial in court. Damage control is the best I can offer until Karissa recovers from her exhausting ordeal. That and making her life easier while she’s doing it,” he added.

“What are you implying?” Micah questioned. “Don’t tell me you plan to wave that magic wand you’ve refused to take in hand during your long stint in the army.”

Rafe shrugged. “It’s at my disposal and I can’t think of a better place to use it.”

The magic wand Micah referred to was Rafe’s trust fund that had been accruing interest for years on end. He could well afford to provide financial compensation for his indirect—and direct—contribution to Karissa’s misery.

Micah’s expression sobered as he stared meaningfully at Rafe. “Don’t go to all this trouble, and
expense,
unless you intend to alter your priorities. You, my friend, have a choice to make. The most important one of your life.”

Rafe turned and walked away, mulling over what Micah had said. Dealing with Karissa Baxter had definitely demanded a reevaluation of his priorities. And even if his perspectives had changed drastically there was no guarantee that Karissa would forgive him completely. Nevertheless, he was going to make it his mission to soften her up, he mused as he mounted up and rode into town.

Sometimes a man just had to stick his neck out and hope like hell that the woman who held his heart wouldn’t grab an ax and chop it into bite-size pieces.

In his best estimation, it could go either way at the moment.

T
hree days after Clint and Amanda returned to the homestead a crew of carpenters and two wagonloads of lumber stopped near the corral. Obviously the men had taken a wrong turn and had gotten lost.

Karissa paused from her chore of crawling around on her hands and knees to plant seeds in their vegetable garden. “Whose homestead are you looking for?” she questioned as she approached the man who appeared to be in charge.

“Yours.” The man smiled as he reached out to pump her hand. “I’m John Saxton.” He gestured toward the crew behind him. “We signed on to make extra money for improvements on our own homestead by building your home for you.”

Karissa blinked, bemused. “There must be some mistake. I didn’t purchase all this lumber and hire your crew.”

“No, ma’am,” John agreed. “Commander Hunter hired us and said to build you a house three times the size you originally planned.”

“Three times larger?” Amanda chirped as she strode
up beside Karissa. She cuddled little Lily in her arms and beamed in delight.

Karissa surveyed her brother and sister-in-law’s pleased expressions. “I’m sorry, but we can’t accept charity from Commander Hunter.”

John chuckled. “The commander told me you would probably say something to that effect. He also told us to ignore your objections and get right to work.” He motioned for the crew to unload the lumber. “We’re being well paid to build a fine house. We can use the money to build our own improvements on our homesteads, so we’re going to set right to work.”

Karissa silently fumed while Clint and Amanda chattered excitedly and discussed the design of their dream house with John Saxton. She and her family could make their own way, thank you very much. She did not need Rafe Hunter trying to compensate for his lack of faith in her by hiring a workforce to erect a mansion when a modest cabin would suit well enough.

Annoyed, Karissa returned to the garden to cram corn seed into the ground.

The very next day, another wagon arrived with a tent that was three times the size of the one Clint and Amanda occupied. The deliveryman announced that he had been sent to set up the new tent and that he was instructed not to take no for an answer.

The day after that Karissa hadn’t even made it through her skimpy breakfast before another crew and wagon arrived. This time it was fence posts and barbed wire that magically appeared, compliments of her generous benefactor. She was told to stake out the location for a pasture because the herd of cows that would be delivered at the end of the week needed to be contained.

Although Clint and Amanda were practically floating
on air, shouting praises to Rafe’s name, Karissa was outraged. First off, acts of kindness and generosity had always made her suspicious of ulterior motives. She had no doubt that Rafe was trying to buy her forgiveness because he felt partially responsible for the calamity that had befallen her and contributed to the premature birth of her brother’s daughter.

Secondly, the only thing she really wanted from Rafe was the very thing she would never have. These expensive improvements to the Baxter homestead had to stop—even if she was secretly delighted that Clint’s family would have a grand new home to begin their new life.

Filled with purpose, she saddled the gray mare and made a beeline to the fort. She encountered Micah who was overseeing fatigue call. Some of the soldiers were making repairs to the barracks while others were chopping weeds and tending the post garden.

“Where is he?” she demanded without preamble.

Micah appraised the agitated frown on her face and said, “Got a bee in your bonnet, do you, Karissa?”

“I don’t own a bonnet,” she said impatiently. “Where is he?”

Micah gestured to the west. “He’s conducting target practice with the new recruits. But don’t go charging out there, because you might get shot. Some of those new recruits who showed up a couple of days ago don’t know one end of a rifle from the other.”

Karissa reined her horse around and trotted through the gate. In the distance she could see the new recruits firing at their targets. Rafe was moving from one soldier to the next, offering instruction. Approaching from the rear, so as not to get her head blown off, she halted beside Rafe.

“I want to talk to you,” she demanded brusquely.

“The answer is no,” Rafe replied as he glanced up at her momentarily.

“I didn’t come here to ask questions, but rather to make a demand. Stop sending me lumber, barbed wire and work crews. I’ll have you know that I can take care of myself.”

“No one implied that you couldn’t,” Rafe said calmly.

“Don’t think that I’m so dense that I don’t realize you are trying to purchase my forgiveness,” she snapped. “Fine, you are forgiven for questioning my honor and integrity. Do not send more extravagant gifts.”

He smiled at her ramrod-stiff position on the back of the gray nag. “You don’t sound all that forgiving,” he remarked. “I was only trying to do my job, as an unbiased law official, to the best of my ability.”

Karissa refused to melt beneath his charming smile. If she let her guard down for one moment she’d start wishing for the impossible again. “This is your first and last warning,” she told him crisply. “No more manna from heaven, Major God.”

“Duly noted, but I don’t consider myself God, just one of his humble servants,” he said before he turned his attention back to the incompetent recruits.

Having been dismissed by his highness of the military, Karissa nudged the mare into a jolting trot. She arrived home immediately after a wagonload of food supplies were delivered, compliments of Rafe Hunter.

“This has gone too far,” Karissa muttered grouchily.

Clint propped himself on his crutch and chuckled at her sour frown. “I don’t know why you can’t accept the
fact that Commander Hunter cares enough about you to see that you have a fresh new start.”

“It’s the principle of the matter,” Karissa grumbled. “We’ve worked for everything we have and I don’t intend to keep accepting charity, just because Rafe Hunter happens to have more money than the Lord above.”

“I think the man is in love with you and he’s just trying to show it through his generosity,” Clint commented.

“And I think you’ve been out in the sun too long,” Karissa countered. “You are starting to hallucinate.”

“Fine, be stubborn and hardheaded, sis,” he said with a shrug. “Why don’t you get back on your high horse and charge back to the fort and just shoot him. That should bring his generosity to a screeching halt,” he teased. “You were acquitted of the last murder so maybe you can get off on this one, too.”

She glared at her brother’s mocking grin. “Why don’t I just shoot you for practice before I go gunning for him?”

“Because you love me and I think you love him, too, but heaven forbid that you admit to any such thing. That might put you in a vulnerable position and you’ve spent your entire life avoiding that.”

Karissa inwardly winced. Damn, her kid brother could see right through her. When had he gotten so perceptive? When he had grown up from the undernourished child she had protected and provided for to become an adult?

Obviously she had been so busy taking care of Clint that she hadn’t noticed how much he had matured these past ten years. Even when he had married Amanda, Karissa had still viewed her brother and sister-in-law as her responsibility. But her brother really had grown up and didn’t need her the way he used to.

“And answer me this, sis,” Clint continued. “Hasn’t Rafe been there for you during every hair-raising crisis? If he didn’t care about you, why would he make so much effort in your behalf?” He rushed on before she could reply. “And do you know what else I think?”

“I’m afraid to ask,” she mumbled.

“I think you’re afraid to trust what’s in your heart, because you don’t think you measure up to Commander Hunter,” he said with brotherly candor. “Plus, I think you’re afraid you might get hurt, the same way we were both hurt when Pops left us to fend for ourselves while he gambled away everything we had.”

Karissa grimaced, remembering all the disillusionment and disappointments she had suffered because of her father’s lack of responsibility and concern for his family.

“But loving Amanda the way I do, I can tell you that it
is
worth the risk to your heart. You have focused your efforts on seeing that we’re happy, but you aren’t comfortable with allowing yourself to be happy.”

“I’m happy. In fact, I’m ecstatic,” she insisted, flashing him an overly cheerful smile. “I’m exactly where I want to be, with the people I love most.”

Clint hobbled over to press a kiss to her cheek. “There’s more, Kari. Don’t sell yourself short. You don’t have to center your life around me anymore. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m all grown up.”

She nodded and murmured, “Yes, I’m beginning to realize that.”

“I also think Rafe Hunter is having just as much trouble admitting that he wants more from life than a bunch of soldiers to command, Indian tribal lands to protect from would-be settlers who failed to stake free homesteads and this new territory to bring under law and
order. You two are stubborn fools if you don’t realize you belong together, despite your different backgrounds. It seems to me that the only thing either of you is really afraid of is how you feel about each other.”

When Clint limped away to rejoin his wife and daughter, Karissa stood there, watching the construction crew frame the second story of the new house. Then she turned her attention to the men who were digging holes for fence posts.

Was Clint right? Did Rafe care enough to give her what he thought she wanted, just to make her happy?

Well, Clint was right about one thing, she mused. She was afraid to come right out and tell Rafe that, hard as she tried, she couldn’t get past the hurdle of loving him. And she had tried, damn it. She had worked harder at it than anything she had ever done in her life.

But there it was, still staring her right in the face and whispering in her soul. She loved him and all the consoling platitudes and sensible lectures hadn’t changed her feelings for him.

Her troubled thoughts trailed off when she saw Jake Horton—the deputy marshal who had arrested her—riding toward her. He halted his horse a few feet away and tipped his hat politely.

“Miss Baxter, I’ve come to apologize for any discomfort or humiliation you might have suffered when you were wrongfully jailed for crimes you didn’t commit.”

“I suppose Rafe, the good fairy, sent you, just like he’s sent the rest of his elves,” she replied.

“No, I’m here on my own accord, but since I was headed this direction after I swung by the fort, Rafe asked me to give you this.” Jake reached into his pocket to retrieve a folded paper then leaned down to place it in her hand.

Befuddled, Karissa unfolded the document then gaped at Jake in disbelief.

“The two adjoining properties to the east and south were claimed by Arliss Frazier and his henchmen. Now they belong to you,” he announced. “These deeds have been legally registered in your name, Miss Baxter.”

Karissa stood there like a tongue-tied idiot while the marshal reversed direction and headed back to town. Oh, now Rafe had really gone and done it, she thought as the dam of tears broke loose and flooded down her cheeks. He’d given her the one thing she’d thought she wanted most of all. Her name on the deed to her own land—two deeds, in fact. She had given up her own long-held dream so that Clint had a place to call his own. Now, thanks to Rafe, she had acquired the rights to
two
adjacent homesteads.

But even while she stood there, clutching the deeds to her chest, all she felt was hollow satisfaction. Having her own land to build her own home and put down solid roots suddenly wasn’t enough.

Now there was irony for you, she mused as she swiped at the tears with the back of her hand. Give a woman what she
thought
she wanted and she wasn’t appeased. Oh no, she had to get greedy. She started wishing for the moon instead of settling for a handful of stars.

Her own brother had called her a coward for running from her feelings for Rafe rather than confronting them. Rather than confronting
Rafe
face-to-face with her affection for him.

“For someone with your spit-in-the-eye determination, you’ve turned into a cowardly sissy,” Karissa chided herself, in between sniffles. “If you could face
down the men who tried to dispose of you then surely you can face Rafe.”

Resolved to go for broke—the way her father had done for the better part of his life—and usually
went
broke—Karissa drew herself up, turned herself around and hiked down to the creek. She was going to bathe and get herself all gussied up in the one nice dress she owned. Then she was going to march herself over to the fort and tell Rafe that she loved him like crazy. Loved him so much that she was willing to settle for being second priority in his life.

She would swallow her damnable pride and become his mistress since he was already married to the military. A man couldn’t have more than one wife, after all. It was against the law in this new territory and she knew Rafe was a stickler for following the rules and regulations.

When Karissa walked uphill to fetch her horse, Clint didn’t ask where she was going. He simply smiled approvingly as he hugged his wife and child affectionately against him.

Rafe was hunched over his desk in profound concentration when Micah rapped on the opened door and poked his head around the corner. He was grinning from ear to ear as he stepped inside.

“You have a visitor,” Micah announced.

“God, not another one. This place has been a madhouse all day,” Rafe bemoaned.

“Yup, we’ve been as busy as bumblebees in a bucket of tar,” Micah agreed, lips twitching.

“Now who’s here to complain about what?” Rafe grumbled sourly.

Micah didn’t reply, just stepped aside to motion the visitor inside.

When Karissa stepped into view, looking good enough to gobble alive in her sunflower-yellow gown, Rafe bounded to his feet. His chair teetered backward and crashed to the floor.