Carnelian (23 page)

“Seth?” I asked, breaking us both out of the
silence surrounding us.

“Yes?” he responded, pulling me close.

“Can you take me with you?” I asked him. It
wasn’t that I wanted to leave my family and friends and the only
life I ever knew. I just didn’t want to leave him.

Seth seemed startled by my question. “Mari,
please don’t ask me to take you back,” he pleaded. Seth wiped a
tear away that was rushing down my cheek. I hadn’t even noticed.
Seth wouldn’t let me go back with him.

“Is that because you worry that I’m from an
enemy land since we don’t know who my father really is?” I asked
with a sniffle.

“Yes. I worry that. I also worry that even
if you aren’t, my time is no place for you. If I take you back, my
family will never approve of you. My father is a firm believer in
my country. We don’t marry anyone outside our country, and we
typically marry within our groups. I’m expected to marry a daughter
of a military official. If I take you back, you will be nothing
more than a mistress in the eyes of my family. I can’t do that to
you. You’ll never be anything less than the love of my life. Please
don’t ask me to take you back. Please stay here and wait for me,”
Seth pleaded. “I promise we are meant to be together.”

I shivered again, and Seth pressed his nose
to mine. “You’re cold. We have to go inside to warm up.”

“What if I don’t want to move,” I protested.
I was freezing, but actually very comfortable in his arms. He was
like sitting next to a fire on a cool autumn night.

Seth tucked his arms under me and picked me
up like I weighed nothing. I protested with a few smacks to his
chest, but it did nothing to stop him. Instead, he just laughed and
ran back to the house, leaving our blankets on the chilly beach.
Upon reaching the door, I thought Seth would set me down, but he
somehow opened the door with me in his arms and carried me all the
way up to his room. After tossing me onto his bed, he pulled all
the blankets around me. I laughed under all the nice warmth. I
guess I had been cold. All that could be seen outside the blankets
was my head.

“Now that I have you captured,” Seth
declared. “What should I do?’ I wasn’t exactly unmovable, but I was
willing to play along. I giggled; our serious conversation had been
lost again. It always happened that way with us. One moment I was
worrying and the next laughing.

I think Seth could see how much I really
couldn’t move as he pushed me back on the bed, essentially trapping
me on the open seam of the blankets together.

“Now that I have you captured,” he repeated.
“I’m going to force you to tell me your deepest darkest secrets and
all your most embarrassing moments.”

“You’ll have to do more than that to get my
most embarrassing moments out of me,” I retorted, and he
grinned.

“Oh, a feisty one.” Seth moved over me to
keep me pinned. “I’ll have to go for the kiss torture method.” Seth
leaned down and barely brushed his lips to mine. He pulled back and
kept himself just out of my reach. I tried to lean forward and kiss
him, but I couldn’t reach him. Kiss torture was not torturing me
with kissing like I wanted; it was torturing me by denying those
kisses.

“For every answer you get a kiss and move
closer to freedom,” he said, desire coming through his voice. It
seemed Seth’s torture to me was torturing himself.

“I’ll go easy and start with one that should
be a quick answer.” Seth pondered a moment.

“Are you my prisoner?” he asked.

“Yes,” I replied and wiggled a little to
show I was not getting out unless he let me. He gave me a quick
kiss.

“What is your deepest, darkest secret?”

I pouted, but didn’t reply. I actually
didn’t have deep dark secrets, at least not from Seth. Sim, on the
other hand, still didn’t know that I found about my father
finally.

“Fine, fine. As an anthropology major, what
do you see as your future?” Seth asked.

Everyone had dreams for their future. Some
girls were off dreaming about the perfect guy and the perfect life
with the two kids and white picket fence. Others dream of that
perfect job where they would be the head of such and such company.
I didn’t really dream of anything. It was expected that I’d get my
degrees and go back to work with my grandfather. I hadn’t really
been given a choice. I never looked elsewhere. Now sitting with
Seth above me, I had a head filled with other thoughts, a future
with him that was not a guarantee. He may have assumed it was an
easy question, but it wasn’t.

“I don’t know,” I answered in only a
whisper. Seth unwrapped me to pull me into his arms, like he knew I
was on the verge of tears.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking with that one.
I was thinking about your future in terms of what do you do with an
anthropology degree. I don’t know what you do with half the majors
at college; that one really stumped me.” Seth apologized. I smiled
as Seth held me, and I explained more.

“I had a future told to me many times as a
kid and I never really thought of doing anything else. You go to
college, get a degree, and come home to work with grandfather in
his business. Now….” I paused. I wanted to tell him that I loved
him too much to care about that future and wanted to create one of
our own, but I still couldn’t tell him that.

“I’m so sorry I came in and messed up your
world,” Seth replied, smoothing the hair on my head as I was
pressed to him. I pulled back to look into his eyes.

“You didn’t mess up my world,” I said. “You
opened my eyes to the world is what you did.”

“And when I disappear, then what will you
say of me?” Seth asked.

“That you were the best thing that ever
happened to me,” I answered quickly. He still didn’t completely see
it. “I know that someday you’ll have to go back, that’s the way it
works. I hope by then we’ll have figured out what to do so that we
can always be together. But even if we can’t, it won’t change how I
feel about you. You have opened my eyes to possibility. There’s a
whole world out there for me to explore. I don’t want to just wait
for my future to happen. I now want to create my own future.”

“Even one without me?” Seth asked.

“You are my future,” I replied. “And we will
find a way.” I’d find a way to him if it came down to it. I knew he
was always in protection mode, but eventually he would have to stop
and listen to his heart.

“I wish very much that that was true, but my
world isn’t for you. Women are traded and bartered off to bind
families together. There is war, poverty, disease, all you never
have to deal with here. Here you can be eighteen and off at
college, pretending to be grown up but not really having to yet. By
eighteen in my time, you’d be a mom with one or more kids, living
the short, hard life everyone does. If I took you back, I’d be
condemning you to that life. You deserve more.”

“Seth, a life with you’d be all I needed.
The rest I can deal with then. I’m tougher than I look,” I
replied.

“And more delicate than you’ll ever admit,”
Seth whispered against my neck before kissing it. “How about we let
tonight be a past-free zone? We focus only on the present.” He
kissed my neck again, not waiting for a response, and it was a good
thing as I felt like a melted puddle of snow.

“I can agree to that,” I finally got out
before losing my thoughts in kisses.

Seth pulled the blankets over us as I
shivered. He assumed I was still chilled, but it was his kisses
sending tingles down to my toes, not the temperature. Though I
didn’t mind bundling under the covers as Seth pulled me back to
him, our bodies pushed together as close as they could get. His
hands drifted from my face to around my waist. I barely could feel
his fingers as they tugged slightly on the hem of my shirt as if he
was asking permission. I replied by making sure his shirt came off
first between kisses. Soft teasing pecks turned into deeper
kisses.

Actually sleeping with someone was something
I had considered only once before, but had too many questions to
actually follow through with. I was glad I didn’t. This was
entirely different. I had loved my high school boyfriend, but it
felt nothing like what I felt now. This was more real and something
else completely. As our lips met and our hands wandered, I had no
questions lying here with Seth as to where this would lead. I also
didn’t have any regrets about it either.

My hands traveled over his chest
unrestrained. His muscles were carved just like a stone statue and
were smooth to the touch. The heartbeat beneath my hand made
everything more real. Seth was here with me now. He was not a
dream, and he was not lost in the past. He was mine. I wanted to
touch more; I wanted to touch all of him. He must have felt the
same way as I felt his hand move across my bare skin. My hands
found the waist band of his pants momentarily before he flipped
onto his back next to me. His breathing was heavy like mine as he
covered his eyes with his hands.

“We can’t do this,” Seth said with his eyes
still covered.

“You don’t want to?” I asked, a bit hurt. I
was pretty sure we were on the same page, but he was making me have
doubts.

Seth rolled and grabbed my hands, bringing
them to his mouth. “I want to do this more than anything, but not
tonight. Not right now. We still don’t know what the goddess has
planned for us and until we do, we should not go further than this.
Dee could be right and all the goddess wants is for us to get
together to produce a child.”

“That’s what protection is for,” I
replied.

“And can it guarantee 100% that nothing will
happen?” Seth asked. He obviously already knew the answer. Nothing
was guaranteed 100%.

“But,” I complained.

Seth stopped me from talking with a kiss. He
wanted more too, but he had way more control than I did.

“I promise you I’ll find out why the goddess
brought me to you,” Seth said into my hair as he pulled me tight to
his chest. The promise was for the both of us as I could tell that
Seth didn’t want to stop either. Seth took a few deep breaths,
slowing his heart beat only slightly. While lying my head back down
on him, I smiled and kissed his chest with my fingers still toying
at the edge of his pants. His heart beat was picking back up its
pace.

“I think I need a shower,” Seth said,
releasing me from his grip and hopping off the bed in one fluid
motion. “I’d ask you to join me, but I’m guessing you’d finally win
this war inside me.” I smiled at him and wiggled my eyebrows.

“You do want to do this with me?” I asked to
be sure. I wanted to believe his reason, but at the same time I
couldn’t help comparing myself to Melissa, his last girlfriend. It
was girly of me, but I couldn’t help it.

Seth sat down beside me immediately. “Yes,
by all means yes. I am male after all,” he teased. “But I can’t do
it right now. We need to know why the goddess wanted us to meet.
And then I’ll be all yours.” Seth kissed my fingertips before
leaving the room.

“I think I might need a shower, too,” I
teased before he was out of hearing range. Seth shook his head and
shut the door.

I snuggled back into the blankets and
slipped my pants off. I understood Seth’s reasoning completely, but
I didn’t want the goddess dictating our lives. Seth could choose to
not let things go further, but I didn’t plan to make it easy for
him. I was cuddled down in the blankets in just my undergarments.
While I waited in the warm blankets, I began to feel sleepy and
warm fuzzies surrounded not just my body, but my mind. I was
content. I tried to stay awake, but it was a futile effort. Heck, I
even feel asleep during the action movie the other night, now all
cuddled up was a dying battle.

I somewhat heard Seth as he came back into
the room. I wish I had been more awake to watch his face as he
climbed into the bed, but I couldn’t open my eyes by then.

“You’re the devil in disguise,” he
complained when he finally looked under the blankets.

I gave a sleepy giggle, before wiggling over
to lie on his chest. I took a deep breath in and smelled the
freshness of the shower on him. He smelled a bit like soap, but
more like clean linen. I nestled closer to him and heard his heart
beat beneath my head. He was warm and his strong arms encircled me
to keep me close as I finally dozed off enough to the world.

“Marcella, I have no idea why I found you
and what you mean to creating a future in my homeland, but I don’t
regret it. I have no regrets of my time with you. I wish it could
last forever.” Seth’s voice was fuzzy, but still there. I didn’t
know if I was dreaming it or not by then, and was too caught in
sleep to wake up and ask him. It sounded like he was saying
goodbye, but I was with him. He couldn’t just leave when I was
there. I would notice that much. I snuggled closer into his warm
arms. I’d have to ask Seth about the goddess tomorrow; how I could
plead to her to let me keep Seth. And without thinking any further,
I was off to sleep.

A thump and
the door unlocking brought me out of my sleep. I
was disorientated as I opened my eyes. I woke up in my own bed in
the dorms. Last I remembered I was in Seth’s bed with him. I
couldn’t remember actually falling asleep, but I had a faint memory
of Seth being beside me. One thing was certain then; I was not in
my own room, that I was sure of that. I looked around the room. I
was certainly in my dorm room now. A hazy memory told me Sim was
gone for the weekend.

“Hey sleepy,” Sim said as I sat up. “Had a
good night?”

“Yeah, just the norm; I spent it with Seth
after the party,” I replied and sat up. It was still
disorientating. I was sure that I had been with Seth last night as
I went to sleep. What did I do yesterday to end up in my own bed?
How could I be missing a day?