Carnal Curiosity (4 page)

“Mr. Stone Barrington?”

“Yes, what can I do for you?”

The man handed him an envelope. “You’ve been served,” he said, then walked away.

Stone closed the door and walked down the hall to his office, tearing open the envelope. Inside was a summons and a copy of
a lawsuit against him for alienation of affection, demanding a million dollars. Don Dugan had been busy; it wasn’t even lunchtime yet.

He called Herb Fisher.

“Yes, Stone?”

“I’ve just received a summons. Dugan is suing me for alienation of affection.”

Herbie laughed. “Do people still do that? I haven’t heard of one of those for years.”

“Dugan’s just harassing me. He called ten minutes before the server arrived, saying he wanted to talk. I declined to see him, and a few minutes later the server rang the bell. Joan is out.”

“So it was all set up before he called?”

“Apparently. I’ll fax you the papers. Answer it for me, will you? You can be my attorney of record.”

“Sure. What do you want me to say?”

“That they had been married for only a few months, and they separated two years ago, so Ms. Hart’s affections had been alienated by her husband long before she met me, which was, as a point of fact, yesterday.”

“Did you know she was married?”

“No, I thought she was divorced, until Dugan showed up at a gathering at Strategic Services last evening, tried to make a scene and had to be escorted from the premises.”

“Escorted by whom?”

“By me.”

“That must have been fun to watch.”

“I did it as quietly as I could, in the circumstances.”

“No attempt on your part to humiliate him, thus reducing his wife’s affection and regard for him?”

“Well, just a little, but as I said before, her affection had been alienated long ago. She had already refused to speak to him.”

“Okay, I’ll file an answer today. Shall I make it withering?”

“Please do.”

“I saw Kate Lee on the
Today
show this morning. She was very good.”

“She always is. That’s what the gathering was last night: an opportunity to get an advance announcement for a private audience. I gather a lot of money was raised.”

“I’ll send a check,” Herbie said.

“You’re a good man, Herbert.”

“Don’t call me Herbert, it makes me sound like an accountant.”

“You remind me of an accountant less than anybody I know,” Stone said. “Talk to you later.” Stone hung up and faxed him the lawsuit.

Joan returned to the office. “Any calls?”

“Just one, from a jealous husband, followed closely by service of a lawsuit for alienation of affection.”

She tried to suppress a giggle. “Not your first, I expect.”

“My very first,” Stone said.

“Are you guilty?”

“Never ask an attorney that question. Certainly not.”

“Is this likely to come to trial?”

“No, but a trial might be fun, in this case.”

6

S
tone was having a sandwich at his desk when Joan buzzed. “Mrs. Katherine Lee on line one.”

Stone picked up the phone. “Good afternoon, Kate!”

“My God, is it afternoon already?”

“You’re having a busy day, aren’t you?”

“I did all five morning shows, in person, in studio, and I’ve spent the rest of the morning doing remote interviews with stations in the dozen largest cities. This afternoon I’m doing Washington bureau interviews with every newspaper with a Washington correspondent. And
60 Minutes
on Sunday evening, live.”

“Without Will?”

“Of course! Everything from now until the convention votes is without Will. He won’t even whisper advice in my ear when I’m at home.”

“Where’s home?”

“Good question. I’m headed to Georgia tomorrow morning,
where I’m going to speak at Franklin Roosevelt’s Little White House, in Warm Springs. Every newspaper editor and TV station in the Southeast will cover it. Then I’m headed back to New York, to the Carlyle. I’ll try to avoid visiting the White House for the rest of the campaign. If Will wants to get laid, he’ll have to do it in New York!”

Stone laughed. “And how can I help in all this? And I’m not talking about sex.”

Kate laughed. “Don’t even say the word aloud in my presence, it would end up on Fox News before the day was out!”

“What can I do, Kate?”

“I want you to head up a campaign for votes and contributions directed at every lawyer in New York State.”

“That’s more than seventy thousand people,” Stone pointed out. “Maybe way more.”

“That’s why I want them on my side.”

“Of course, I’ll do whatever I can.”

“Good. I’m going to send over a staff member of mine, Ann Keaton, who will ask you some standard background questions that we have to ask everyone who joins the campaign. Will you be in your office for the remainder of the day?”

“Yes, I’ll be happy to see her.”

“I’ll put her on the phone.”

There was a click, then another click. “Mr. Barrington?”

“Yes.”

“This is Ann Keaton, personnel director of the Kate Lee campaign. May I visit you today to conduct a formal interview?”

“Yes, of course. What time?”

“Are you in New York now?”

“Yes, my home and office are in Turtle Bay.”

“I’m on the Upper East Side at the moment. Would half an hour from now be convenient?”

“Perfectly.” He gave her the street address and hung up.

Twenty minutes later a woman who looked like a college student was seated in his office, very attractive, wearing a business suit and horn-rimmed glasses. “Good afternoon, Mr. Barrington. Are you ready to answer some questions?”

“Yes, I am.”

“I warn you, some of these questions may sound intrusive, but it’s information we must have in order to employ any person on the campaign.”

“I have nothing to hide.” Stone wondered for a moment if that was true.

Ms. Keaton took him through his birth, parentage, grand-parentage, education from kindergarten through law school, work history since graduation, current employer, every address where he had ever lived, marriages and divorces, club memberships, military service, or lack of same, foreign travel, and political affiliation. “Have you ever been arrested for anything other than a minor traffic violation?”

“No.”

“Ever been arrested for DUI?”

“No.”

“Ever been charged with a misdemeanor or felony?”

“No.”

“Have you ever associated with criminals?”

“Only when arresting or investigating them as a police officer, or when representing them as an attorney.”

“Have you ever been or are you currently a plaintiff or a defendant in a civil lawsuit?”

“No.”

“Have you ever been bankrupt?”

“No.”

“Have you ever had your wages garnished for nonpayment of a debt?”

“No. Wait a minute.”

“Yes, Mr. Barrington? You’ve had your wages garnished?”

“No. A couple of questions back you asked if I had ever been a plaintiff or a defendant in a civil lawsuit.”

“Yes, I did. Do you wish to change your answer?”

“Yes. I was served with a court summons today to answer a lawsuit. It’s nothing more than a nuisance suit. I’ve already instructed an attorney to answer it and to seek its dismissal for lack of grounds.”

“What were you sued for?”

“Ah, alienation of affection.” He felt himself blushing.

“Is this alienation referring to a woman?”

“It certainly isn’t referring to a man.”

“Can you tell me, briefly please, about the circumstances surrounding this lawsuit?”

“Yesterday I had a business meeting with a woman.”

“Her name, please?”

“Crane Hart.”

“Like the poet?”

“The reverse.”

“What sort of business were you conducting, and where?”

“She was sent by my insurance company to adjust a claim I had made, and the meeting took place in my office.”

“What sort of claim?”

“Someone had stolen a large amount of money from me, and
I had filed a claim. It was all quite straightforward and businesslike.”

“And now she’s suing you?”

“No, no. She told me she was divorced. Last evening we attended a social event—a fundraiser for Kate Lee—and her former husband was there. It turned out that their divorce was not yet final, but they had been separated for two years. Her former husband—”

“His name, please?”

“Don, presumably Donald, Dugan.”

She made a note of it. “Please go on.”

“Mr. Dugan attempted to speak with Ms. Hart, and she did not wish to speak to him. He had to be escorted from the premises.”

“Did this ‘escorting’ involve violence?”

“I believe it prevented violence.”

“Did he leave voluntarily?”

“Not quite.”

“Please, Mr. Barrington.”

“He was physically pressed into leaving. No one was hurt.”

“And then he filed a lawsuit against you for alienation of affection?”

“Yes, this morning. As I said, they had been separated for two years, so the suit is groundless.”

“Was it a documented legal separation?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know. I do know that they had conducted negotiations for a settlement.”

“Had a settlement been agreed to?”

“Yes, verbally, then Mr. Dugan refused to sign.”

“Mr. Barrington, had you and Ms. Hart had sexual relations?”

Stone took a deep breath. “Yes.”

“When, may I ask? I mean, time was short.”

“Late yesterday afternoon. And later in the evening.”

“Did she stay the night in your house?”

“Yes. And may I point out that we were both consenting adults.”

“But one of you is married.”

“In name only. And at the time I believed her divorce to be final.”

“She told you that?”

“I have already said so.”

Ms. Keaton closed her notebook. “That concludes the interview,” she said. “I must say, Mr. Barrington, I’m impressed by the speed with which you form carnal relationships.”

“Thank you, I think.”

She regarded him with interest for a long moment. “I’m going to hold on to your answers to my questions, for a while,” she said, “instead of submitting them for review. Mrs. Lee is very anxious to have you on board, but I’m going to have to wait until you’ve successfully dealt with this lawsuit before we can formally ask you to join the campaign.”

“I understand. Tell me, Ms. Keaton—”

“Ann, please.”

“Ann, are you an attorney?”

“I finished Harvard Law four years ago, and I passed the New York State Bar shortly after that. Then I joined the CIA. When Mrs. Lee left, I went with her as a personal staffer.”

“That’s very impressive. I’d like you to come and see me about the possibility of joining my law firm, Woodman & Weld,
after the campaign is over, of course. Or when you’re ready to leave the White House staff.”

She stood up and closed her briefcase, then looked at him frankly. “Do I have to wait until then?”

“I think it would probably be best,” Stone said. “I’m sure that neither of us would wish to have to answer any awkward questions during another interview like the one you’ve just conducted.”

“That’s very prudent, Mr. Barrington. I’ll try to contain myself,” she said, offering her hand and offering a small smile.

He stood and took her hand. “It’s Stone, please.”

“Until next time, Stone.” She left the office, and Stone collapsed into his chair.

7

L
ater in the day, Dino called. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Dinner, Patroon, seven? Viv’s out of town again.”

“You’re on.”

They both hung up. Stone left his office, went upstairs, undressed and got into a shower, which he made progressively colder. He was having carnal thoughts, and it was a double feature. As he got out of the shower the phone rang. He picked it up while using a towel with the other hand.

“It’s Crane.”

“Hi there. Nice to hear your voice.”

“What are you doing right now?”

“Right now? I just got out of the shower.”

“Oh, God.”

“Isn’t that all right? Being in the shower?”

“It just makes me wish I were in the shower with you.”

“I’ve always found the shower overrated as a venue for sex.”

“How about on the bath mat, afterward?”

“Why don’t you come over here and we’ll negotiate a spot.”

“I can’t, I have an appointment in ten minutes, and I’m fifteen minutes away from it.”

“I’m having dinner with Dino at seven. Like to join us?”

“Are you suggesting a threesome?”

“Certainly not. I’m in no mood to share you.”

“I can probably meet you by seven-thirty.”

“Patroon,” he said, and gave her the address.

“Can I stay the night?”

“If we’re certain you’re not being followed.”

“I’ll rely on you to help me shake a tail.”

Stone laughed. “Anything I can do.”

Dino was already halfway through a scotch when Stone arrived and ordered his own drink. “You look rushed,” Dino said. “No, not rushed, excited.”

“I don’t know what’s happening to me,” Stone said.

“Huh?”

“You know how when you were eighteen you just wanted to screw all the time?”

“I believe I remember being in that state.”

“I’m in it now.”

“Stone, you’ve been in that state since the day I met you. This have something to do with Crane?”

“Of course it does, but it’s more than that.”

“Tell me.”

Stone explained about his interview with Ann Keaton. “I don’t know what it was, but I was amazingly turned on by the experience, and I think she was, too.”

“Stone, it takes a lot less than that to get you turned on.”

“By the way, Crane is joining us. She’ll be a little late.”

“If you start groping each other in this booth, I’m going home.”

“You remember her giant husband from last night?”

“He’s too big to forget.”

“He sued me today for alienation of affection.”

Dino burst out laughing. “That’s the funniest thing I ever heard.”