Careless Whisper (9 page)

Just tell him you love him.

She opened her eyes and nibbled her bottom lip. Okay, so no other man ever told her he loved her. Samara yanked the shirt over her head. Her heart clenched and her hands shook. But twenty-four hours! And he said he was gun shy when it came to giving away his heart. She willed her heart rate to resume a normal pace and stood.
Time.
She’d give him a chance to really decide what he wanted and then go from there.

Chapter Nine

“Ho-
ly
fuck
.” Ryan re-entered the room and snatched his boxer shorts from the floor. When life chose to intrude, it barged in like a damned elephant. “Seems when Tony Cox couldn’t get you, he had Matilda call my phone and now she wants to see you today at four.” When he glanced at her, he paused, his boxers held loosely in front of his cock. “Damn, you are one sexy woman.”

How he got so lucky as to have her in his bed still shocked and amazed him. She gave him permission to play, explore, and push her to her limits without complaint. His heart swelled with love for her.

Samara lay amongst the sheets, her body swathed in his Ghost Explorers shirt. He groaned. Beneath the cotton, her peaked nipples beckoned.
 
If he raised the hem an inch or two, he could feast on her pussy all over again.

“Flatterer.”
She tossed his rumpled shirt from the day before at him. “But thank you.”

“I tell the God’s honest truth.”

“Why did Tony Cox need me?”

“Everything’s cleared for the lock down. What
Matty
wants is beyond me.” After yanking the garment over his head and his shorts past his hips, he closed the gap to her and pinned her to the mattress, snuggling her in his embrace. “Explain to me again how you managed to stay on the market so long. You’re my drug, babe.”

“I never told you in the first place.”

“I’m listening, sexy girl.” He’d confessed his darkest secrets.
Her turn.
“Let me see the secrets in your heart.”

“Tell my ex I’m sexy. He thought I was”—she averted her gaze—”a bit on the heavy side and less than pretty.”

Ryan kissed her cheek to redirect her gaze. Whatever she had in her past, he’d help her face. “
Gimme
the asshole’s number. I’ll call him out.” Beat the shit out of him. Any man who couldn’t respect and desire a woman the way God made her didn’t deserve the love of a woman like Samara.

“Nolan wouldn’t listen.” She shook her head and wriggled away from him. “He’s always right.”

“One of those.”
Ryan snorted and followed her to the living room as she escaped from the bedroom. “I don’t believe his description, but I’m damned glad he let you go.” Now if he could get her to loosen up and see the beauty she possessed.

“Then you’re one of the few guys who cared. I don’t tend to draw men easily. I thought I had Nolan, until I found out what he wanted. He married my sister Jonquil.” Samara folded her hands in front of her mouth, like a prayer. “She gets everything she wants and most anything she thinks is valuable to someone else.”

“Jonquil?”

“My folks were ex-hippies.
Willow
and Jonquil were expected. I was
an oops
.”

“You are not a mistake or
an oops
.” He breathed in the scent of her shampoo. If he could hold her, just touch her. “You’re soft, sweet, and adorable. The best a man could ask for.”

“You act like you know everything about me.” She snorted and shook her head, offering little resistance when he smoothed his hands around her waist. “How is it possible?”

“You’re my other half, I’m positive.” He nipped her earlobe, drawing a shiver from her as she snuggled closer. “I know more than you think—you have a submissive side I find extremely attractive—but you want something more obscure?” He kissed her jaw and rubbed his nose along her cheek. “You like Billy Joel.”

Her eyes widened when she turned to face him and wriggled out of his arms. “Huh?”

“Your iPod is full of Billy Joel’s music.” He inched closer to her, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. “You like the colour red and prefer to wear your hair away from your face when you transcribe.”

“Ryan.”

Her breathy voice heated his blood and spurred him on. He glanced at her computer. A slideshow of hot guys filled the screen. So she liked beefcake? Good to know. He laced his fingers with hers, giving them a gentle squeeze. “You love television cops and have a particular fondness for the guy who plays Evan Turner on
Vice
.”

“How do you know that?”

“Your screen saver.”
He nodded over her shoulder. “I see you also have—Samara, I’m flattered.” She’d even chosen the picture where he’d flexed his muscles with the glow from the Reformatory behind him. Nice. His heart swelled in time with his erection. “Good thing ole Nolan married your sister. You’ve moved up to the best taste in men.”

“Thanks,” she replied in a tart voice.

“How about you try for cheerful?” His guts coiled at the sadness in her eyes. “Tell me how he hurt you. I can’t change the past, but I’m here now.”

Samara nibbled the corner of her mouth and stepped back.
 
She glanced away twice before speaking. “I come from a family of tall, model-thin women. Jonquil and
Willow
have glossy black hair and twenty-two-inch waists. I’m the short, curvy runt. Men see my sisters and I fade into the background. As far as guys are concerned, I’ve been invisible for the last fourteen years.” She chuckled and wrapped her arms around her midsection. “I’d love to know what it’s like to be five-seven, just once.”

“It’s not much different from being five-three.” Ryan captured her loosely in his arms, stroking her hair. “The guys who looked past you were fools or blind.” He breathed in her scent, needing the comfort of her nearness. “You have a journalism degree, don’t you?”

“That’s not on my screen saver.”

“I checked your
creds
when I went looking for another videographer.” He tugged her flush against him and splayed his hands across her back. “What’s on the computer? I know you weren’t staring at my hot
bod
, although I’d like to believe it.”

“At least you don’t lack ego. My screen saver is my private stress reliever and inspiration.” She shrugged, her gaze not quite meeting his. “I write short stories—romance—to escape.
Although, sometimes real life makes for the best fiction.”

His ire rose for a split second.
Nah, not Samara.
She’d have said something. “You didn’t come here for a juicy story starter, did you?” he asked, feigning irritation. “I charge for that sort of thing.”

She stared at him with a mix of incredulousness and shock. “Yeah, hearing your beau scream his ex’s name in his sleep is such an invitation to romance.”

Point taken and punishment dealt, Ryan relaxed a bit.
Beau?
He loved the sound of the endearment on her lips. “It was a dream I didn’t want, you know. I’m a one-woman man.”

“I believe you.” She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “But it was unreal.”

“What was? Tell me what you saw, sweetheart.”

“In my dream, I saw the whole thing through your eyes. Felicity’s our evil entity. She wants you dead so no one else can have you. Her energy’s dying, but if she can convince you to fall back in love with her she’ll live again.” She chuckled when he opened his mouth to speak. She fluttered her hands in the air, effectively cutting off his response.
 
“I read your mind like you said I could, Ryan. If you’d have told me that was possible twenty-four hours earlier, I would’ve given you my best stiff right hook. I’m on shaky ground, but I trust you.”

“My face thanks you.” He processed her words, confused and a bit relieved. “You’re saying our being together is to her detriment, not some grand scheme to give me my life back?” Felicity said all he had to do was confess he cared for someone else.
 
Declare he found his Spirit Mate and his heart and she’d be gone.

Consider it done.

“Sort of.”

“But if I admit I’m in love with you and it gets rid of my guilt, then it gets rid of her, too.
Seems impossible.”

Samara backed away from him, her brows furrowing and her cheeks pale. “Listen to yourself. Are you telling me you love me in order to unload her?” She put both hands in the air, as if to block him, and closed her eyes. “I can’t play that way. I’m not here so you can make peace.”

“I didn’t say that. I want a clean slate, yes, but—” Shit. He’d fucked everything up. He’d cared for Felicity, probably always would, but nothing like his feelings for Samara. She’d wrapped around his soul without trying.

“She’s all you think about. You want her back.
” Tears streamed down Samara’s cheeks as she grabbed her clothes from the floor. “
What time is the lock down?” she asked and yanked her shirt down past her head.

“We meet
Nancy
at eight.”
God, just don’t walk out the door.

“Fine.”
Samara wriggled into her jeans and shoved her feet into her shoes.
 
“I’ll see you then.”

“Please don’t leave.” He needed more words, more time to convince her he truly loved her. She started past him, stopping only when he put a hand on her shoulder.

Sighing, she turned away from him. “I’m giving you space because I’m sure need it.”

Dammit
all to hell. “Samara, you don’t have to go tonight.” He wasn’t going to let the woman of his heart slip through his fingers, but he refused to force her. “Don’t get me wrong, I want you to. Hell, when I blurted I love you, I meant it. You’re my Spirit Mate. The woman destined to be mine. But I don’t want you with me on the lockdown because you think I insist on it.”

“Spirit Mate?
You’re sure I’m your Spirit Mate.”

“It sounds crazy, but it’s true. We—need each other. Not just for paranormal reasons, but because we balance each other and bring out the best. Together.”

“That’s probably the reason I sucked at dating.” She waved her hand. “‘Hi, my name is Samara. I have latent paranormal abilities, with no clue how to use them, oh, and I can’t be with you for the long haul unless you’re my ‘Spirit Mate’.
Real smooth.”

He bit back the chuckle on his lips. Even angry, her sense of humour captivated him.
“Samara.”

“I made the commitment. I won’t back out.” She drew a long breath and let it out slowly. “There’s so much swimming in my head right now, I’m not sure what to make of it. I want to believe you, to lose myself in this passion between us and have our happily ever after.”

“But?”

“I’m afraid I won’t have all of you.” She cupped his jaw, rubbing her thumb across his chin. “You still love Felicity. It’s buried pretty deep, but it’s still there and she clings to it. It’s what gives her energy and hope. I don’t want you to forget her, but I also can’t compete with her memory—Spirit Mate or not. I need your whole heart, not bits and pieces.”

“Samara
…
”

“I trust you, Ryan, I do. That’s why I’m coming back.” She brushed her tears away with the pads of her fingers. “If you love me like you say, then we’ll beat this.”

“And live out our golden years fucking in every room in our house?”

“Something
like
that.”

Ryan wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his forehead against hers. “If you need me, I’m only a thought away.”

“Same goes for me.”

Samara shrugged out of his embrace and strode out of the room.
 
Ryan rubbed the back of his hand over his mouth.
“Just make sure you need me.”

Chapter Ten

Three sleepless hours later, Samara stood in the shower. Although the searing water sluiced over her skin, the only temperature she registered was the cold empty feeling in the pit of her stomach. Ryan said he loved her, yet he called out the name of another woman—his wife! Who was to say he’d be able to move forward in the future? She wiped the tears from her eyes.
Like crying would do any good…

Be honest with him like before. You are his Spirit Mate.

Samara twisted the knobs to turn off the water and exited the shower. She could almost hear her grandmother’s grousing.
If you don’t tell him, you’ll never know what could be. Leap for once instead of sitting still.

Samara chuckled. Being in his arms, the sweetness of his kiss affected her to the very depths of her soul. He got her jokes and returned the favour with ease.
And the sex?
Her body ached in places she forgot existed—including her heart. She rubbed her hand over her tender bottom. Damn, the man could swat hard. Her ass still hurt—a good hurt, but it stung nonetheless.

“Leap, indeed. Thanks,
Gramma
.” Putting her heart out for his grasp would be the hardest thing she’d ever done, but if it meant his feelings were true she’d do it. If not, then live, learn and move on. She towelled off and began getting ready to go on the investigation. What to wear to creep through a dark mansion? A giggle escaped her throat as she gazed at the crimson gown in her closest. If she showed up in an old bridesmaid dress or her favourite little black dress, Ryan might approve, but the investigation wouldn’t take place.