Careless In Red (80 page)

He went to join her. He saw when he reached her that she was carrying a bundle of photographs. She was hollow eyed. She looked nearly as numb as he himself felt.

He said her name. She said, “I hadn’t thought of him in years. But there he was in my mind today, like he’d been waiting to get in all this time.”

“Who?”

“Hugo.”

A name he’d never once heard before and not one he cared about hearing now. He said nothing. Far out in the waves, five surfers formed a lineup. A swell rose behind them and Ben watched to see who would be in position to drop in. None of them were. The wave broke too far ahead of them, leaving them waiting for the next one in the set and another attempt at a ride.

Dellen continued. “I was his special one. He made a fuss over me and he asked my parents could he take me to the cinema. To the seal sanctuary. To the Christmas panto. He bought me clothes he wanted to see me in because I was his favourite niece. We’ve got something special, he said. I wouldn’t buy you these things and take you to these places if you weren’t especially special to me.”

Out to sea, one of the surfers was successful, Ben saw. He dropped in and caught the wave and he carved, seeking what every surfer seeks, the racing green room whose shimmering walls rise and curve and endlessly shift, enclosing and then releasing. It was a beautiful ride and when it was over, the surfer dropped down onto the board and made his way out to the others again, accompanied by the yelps of his mates. Jokingly, they barked like dogs. When he reached them, one of them touched fists with him. Ben saw this and felt a sore place in his heart. He forced himself to attend to what Dellen was saying.

“It felt wrong,” she said, “but Uncle Hugo said it was love. The special part was being singled out. Not my brother, not my cousins, but me. So if he touched me here and asked me to touch him there, was that bad? Or was it just something that I didn’t understand?”

Ben felt her look at him and he knew he was meant to look at her as well. He was meant to look at her face and read the suffering there, and he was meant to meet her emotion with his own. But he couldn’t do it. For he found that a thousand Uncle Hugos couldn’t change a single one of the facts. If, indeed, there was an Uncle Hugo at all.

Next to him, he felt her move. He saw she was riffling through the pictures she had with her. He half-expected her to produce Uncle Hugo from within the stack, but she didn’t. Instead, she brought forth a photograph he recognised. Mum and Dad and two kids on summer holiday, a week on the Isle of Wight. Santo had been eight years old, Kerra twelve.

In the picture they were at a restaurant table, no meal in evidence, so they must have handed the camera to the waiter as they first sat, asking him to snap the happy family. All of them were smiling as required: Look at how we’re enjoying ourselves.

Pictures were the things of happy memories. They were also the instruments one used retrospectively to avoid the truth. For in Kerra’s small face, Ben could now read the anxiety, that desire to be just good enough to stop the wheel from turning another time. In Santo’s face, he could see the confusion, a child’s awareness of a present hypocrisy without the accompanying comprehension. In his own expression, he could see the gritty determination to make things right. And in Dellen’s face…what was always there: knowledge and anticipation. She was wearing a red scarf twined through her hair.

They gravitated towards her in the picture, all of them slightly leaning in her direction. His hand was over hers, as if he’d hold her there at the table instead of where she doubtless wished to be.

She can’t help herself, he’d said time and again. What he’d failed to see was that he could.

He took the picture from her and said to his wife, “It’s time for you to go.”

She said, “Where?”

“I’m not sure,” he said. “St. Ives. Plymouth. Back to Truro. Pengelly Cove perhaps. Your family’s there still. They’ll help you if you need help. If that’s what you want at this point.”

She was silent. He looked from the photo to her. Her eyes had darkened. She said, “Ben, how can you…? After what’s happened.”

“Don’t,” he said. “It’s time for you to go.”

“Please,” she said. “How will I survive?”

“You’ll survive,” he told her. “We both know that.”

“What about you? Kerra? What about the business?”

“Alan’s here. He’s a very good man. And otherwise, Kerra and I will cope. We’ve learned to do that very well.”

SELEVAN HAD FOUND THAT his plans altered once the police came to the Salthouse Inn. He told himself that he couldn’t just selfishly head out with Tammy for the Scottish border without knowing what was going on and, more important, without discovering if there was something he could do to assist Jago should assistance be required. He couldn’t imagine why such assistance might be necessary, but he thought it best to remain where he was—more or less—and wait for further information.

It wasn’t long in coming. He reckoned Jago wouldn’t return to the Salthouse Inn, so he himself didn’t wait there. Instead, he went back to Sea Dreams and paced in the caravan for a while, taking a nip now and then from a flask he’d filled to see him on the trip to the border, and finally he went outside and over to Jago’s caravan.

He didn’t go within. He had a duplicate key to the place, but it just didn’t feel right, although he reckoned Jago wouldn’t have minded had he entered. Instead he waited on the top of the metal steps, where a wider one played the role of porch and was suitable for his bum.

Jago rolled into Sea Dreams some ten minutes later. Selevan got creakily to his feet. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket and walked over to Jago’s preferred spot to park the Defender. He said, “You all right, then, mate?” when Jago got out. “They didn’t give you aggro down the station, did they?”

“Not a bit,” Jago told him. “When it comes to the cops, a small measure of preparation is all that’s needed. Things go your way, then, instead of theirs. Surprises them a bit, but that’s what life is. One bloody surprise after another.”

“S’pose,” Selevan said. But he felt a twinge of uneasiness, and he couldn’t exactly say why. There was something about Jago’s way of talking, something in the tone, that wasn’t altogether the Jago he knew. He said warily, “They didn’t rough you up, mate?”

Jago barked a laugh. “Those two cows? Not likely. We just had a bit of a conversation and that was the end of it. Long time in coming, but it’s over now.”

“Wha’s going on, then?”

“Nothing, mate. Something went on long time ago, but that’s all finished. My work here is done.”

Jago passed Selevan and stepped up to the door of the caravan. He hadn’t locked it, Selevan saw, so there’d been no need for him to wait on the steps in the first place. Jago went inside and Selevan followed. He stood uncertainly just at the door, however, because he wasn’t sure what was going on.

He said, “You made redundant, Jago?”

Jago had gone into the bedroom at the end of the caravan. Selevan couldn’t see him, but he could hear the noise of a cupboard opening and of something being dragged from the shelf above the clothing rail. In a moment Jago appeared in the doorway, a large duffel bag drooping from his hand. “What?” he asked.

“I asked were you made redundant. You said your work was finished. You been sacked or something?”

Jago looked as if he was thinking about this, which was strange as far as Selevan was concerned. One was made redundant or not. One was sacked or not. Surely the question didn’t need consideration. Finally Jago smiled quite a slow smile that wasn’t much like him. He said, “That’s exactly it, mate. Redundant. I was made redundant…long time ago.” He paused and looked thoughtful and next spoke to himself, “More than a quarter of a century,” he said. “A long time in coming.”

“What?” Selevan felt a restless urgency to get to the root of the matter because this Jago was different to the Jago he’d been sitting in the inglenook with for the last six or seven months, and he vastly preferred that other Jago, who spoke directly and not in…well, in parables or the like.

He said, “Mate, has something happened with them cops? Did they do something to…? You don’t sound like yourself.” Selevan could imagine what the cops might do. True, they’d been women, but fact was that Jago was an old codger round the same age as Selevan, and he was in poor condition for his years. Besides that, had they taken him to the station, there’d be blokes there—other cops—who could rough him up. And cops could rough one up in places where no evidence was left. Selevan knew that. He watched telly, especially American films on Sky. He’d seen how it was done. Bit of pressure on the thumbnails. Couple of sewing needles screwed into the skin. It wouldn’t take much on a bloke like Jago. Only…he wasn’t acting like a man who’d suffered some sort of humiliation at the hands of the cops, was he.

Jago put the duffel on his bed—Selevan could see this much from where he still stood, unsure whether to sit or stand, to go or remain—and he began opening the drawers of the built-in chest. And what came to Selevan then was what should have come the moment he saw the duffel in Jago’s hands: His friend was leaving.

He said, “Where you off to, Jago?”

“What I said.” Jago came to the door again, this time a small stack of neatly folded shorts and vests in his hands. “Things’re finished here. It’s time for me to shove off. Never stay in one place long, anyway. Follow the sun, the surf, the seasons…”

“But the season’s here. It’s just coming on. It’s round the corner. Where you going to find a better season than what you’d get here?”

Jago hesitated, half turned towards the bed. It seemed that this was something he’d not considered: the where of his journey. Selevan saw his shoulders alter. There was something less definite about his posture. Selevan pressed the point.

“And anyways, you got friends here. That counts for something. Let’s face it, you see a doctor yet for those shakes of yours? I reckon they’re going to get worse, and then where’ll you be if you set off on your own?”

Jago seemed to think about this. “Doesn’t much matter, like I said. My work is finished. All’s left is the waiting.”

“For what?”

“For…you know. Neither one of us is a hatchling, mate.”

“For dying, you mean? Tha’s rubbish. You got years. What the bloody hell did those coppers do to you?”

“Not a sodding thing.”

“Can’t believe you, Jago. If you’re talking of dying—”

“Dying’s got to be faced. So’s living, for that matter. They’re part of each other. And they’re meant to be natural.”

Selevan felt a margin of relief when he heard this. He didn’t like to think of Jago pondering the idea of dying because he didn’t like to think what this suggested about his friend’s intentions. He said, “Glad to hear that, at least. The natural bit.”

“Because…?” Jago smiled slowly as comprehension dawned. He shook his head in the way a fond grandparent might react to a beloved child’s mischief. “Oh. That. Well, I could end it easy enough, couldn’t I, since I’ve finished up here and there’s not much point in carrying on. There’s lots of places to do it in these parts cause it’d look like an accident and no one’d know the difference, eh. But if I did that, might end it for him as well and we can’t have that. No. There’s no end to something like this, mate. Not if I can help it.”

CADAN HAD JUST ARRIVED at LiquidEarth when the phone call came. He could hear that his father was in the shaping room and Jago was nowhere to be found, so he answered it himself. A bloke said, “That Lewis Angarrack?” and when Cadan said no, he said, “Fetch him, eh. Got to talk to him.”

Cadan knew better than to bother Lew in the middle of shaping a board. But the bloke insisted that this couldn’t wait and no, he didn’t want to leave a message.

So Cadan went to fetch his father, not opening the door but pounding on it to be heard over the tools. The power planer switched off. Lew himself appeared, his mask lowered and his eye gear around his neck.

When Cadan told him there was a phone call for him, Lew looked into the glassing area and said, “Jago not back?”

“Didn’t see his car outside.”

“What’re you doing here, then?”

Cadan felt that old plummeting of his spirits. He stifled a sigh. “Phone,” he reminded Lew.

Lew took off the latex gloves he wore for work, and he strode to the reception area. Cadan followed for want of anything better to do, although he peeked into the spraying room and considered the lineup of shaped boards to be painted as well as the kaleidoscope of bright colours that had been tested against the walls. In reception he could hear his father saying, “What’s that you say?…No, of course not…Where the hell is he? C’n you put him on the phone?”

Cadan wandered back out. Lew was behind the counter where the phone sat amid the mounds of paperwork on the card table that served as his desk. He glanced at Cadan and then away.

“No,” Lew said to the bloke on the other end of the line. “I didn’t know…I damn well would have appreciated it if he’d told me…I know he’s not well. But all I can tell you is what he told me. Had to step out to speak to a mate in a bit of bother up at the Salthouse…You? Then you know more than I do…”

Cadan clocked that they were talking about Jago, and he did question where the old man was. Jago had been nothing if not a model employee for his dad during the time he’d worked at LiquidEarth. Indeed, Cadan often felt that Jago’s performance as a stellar worker bee was one of the reasons he himself looked so bad. At work on time, never out for illness, not a complaint about anything, nose to the grindstone, perfectionist in what he had to do. For Jago not to be here now brought up the subject of why and made Cadan listen more closely to the conversation his dad was having.

“Redundant? God, no. No reason for that. I’ve a pile of work and the last thing on my mind is making anyone…Well, then, what did he say?…Finished? Finished?” Lew looked round the reception area, particularly at the clipboard on which the orders for boards were attached. There was a thick stack of them, the mark of longtime surfers’ respect for Lew Angarrack’s work. No computer design and computer shaping here, but the real thing, all of it done by hand. So few craftsmen could do what Lew did. They were a dying breed, their work an art form that would pass into surfing lore like the earliest long boards fashioned of wood. In their place would come the hollow-core boards, the computerised designs, everything programmed into a machine that would belch out a product no longer lovingly shaped by a master who rode waves himself and consequently knew what an extra channel or the degree of tilt of a fin would truly do to a board’s performance. It was a pity, really.