Career Girl in the Country / The Doctor's Reason to Stay (29 page)

Johnny’s weather-beaten face drained of all color. “I can’t, which means I think we have a problem here, Rafe,” he said.

Rafe swallowed hard. “Can you saddle Donder for me while I go and make a couple of phone calls?”

“Consider it done,” Johnny said. “And I’ll be riding out with you too, Rafe. I feel terrible about this. I knew she wanted to go solo. She’s been begging for days. I should have …”

Rafe squeezed the man’s shoulder. “Not your fault. Nothing here’s been normal for Molly for a while, and I’m hoping she just needed to get away, go someplace to think.” Adult reasoning, he knew. But the alternative was that she’d run away, and he didn’t even want to think about that. “Give me ten minutes, then I’ll be back to ride.”

His first call was to Edie. “You haven’t seen Molly along the road somewhere, have you?” Stupid question. If Edie had seen her, she’d have stopped.

“Is she missing?” Edie choked.

“Looks like she might have gone for a ride on her pony. We’re getting ready to go out looking right now.”

“I’m not home yet. I’ll turn round and be back in a few minutes.”

That’s what he’d counted on, what he needed. “I’m going to give Rick a call, in case Molly turns up at the hospital.” He did that. “She’s missing, Rick,” he explained. “Took her pony and left here. I was hoping she might show up there as the hospital is one of the places where she feels safe.”

“I’ll alert the staff to be on the lookout. And, Rafe, you shouldn’t be going through this alone. I’ll be there in a couple minutes to ride out with you.”

“I’d appreciate that, Rick,” he said, as a knot formed in his throat. “I’d really appreciate that.” After all these years Rick had found it in himself to become a friend. It touched Rafe in ways he’d never expected.

“I’ve looked everywhere, and she’s not in the house,” Edie called out to the group assembling near the stable door. Johnny was ready to ride, along with his small group of volunteers. And Rafe and Rick were ready to go, both of them looking downright handsome in the saddle, she noticed. In fact, the two of them, together, were breathtaking. She was glad, at least for now, that they were able to work together. “Is Ice Cream saddled for me?”

“You don’t have to ride out with us,” Rafe called back.

“She’s my daughter, Rafe. What else am I supposed to be doing?”

“I’ll stay here, in case she comes back,” Summer
volunteered. “She trusts me, so we should be fine. I’ll make some phone calls, and I’ll call you if I hear anything from anybody.” Summer approached Edie and pulled her into a hug. “I know we’ve never really spent any time together, but I’m glad you’re going to be adopting Molly. Grace thought the world of you, and she’d be happy. And Molly’s going to be fine out there. She’s a smart, tough little girl. She’ll know how to take care of herself.”

“I haven’t even signed the papers yet, and I’m feeling so … so …”

“So like a mother?” Summer laughed. “Welcome to a mother’s world, Edie. It’s a great place to live, and it can be more scary than anything you could ever imagine.”

Edie climbed up on Ice Cream, patted the horse on the neck then looked down. “And to think that only a few days ago this was one of my biggest fears in the world.”

“Grace taught her well, Edie. Trust that.”

Summer stepped back then waved her off, while Edie turned Ice Cream in the direction of Rafe and Rick and looked up the hill at the house. Her house, to share with her daughter now. Life had changed so much, so quickly, her head was spinning. But her heart was breaking too, in more pieces than she’d ever known it could, and for the first time in her life she truly understood what her mother had felt all those times the authorities had threatened to remove her from the house, to give her to other people. There was no way to describe the anguish, no way to bear the shattered heart. To love a child … that was all there was, and she felt her mother there with her, guiding her through this
ordeal. Felt her mother’s strength and courage. That was what sent her to Rafe and Rick and allowed her to ride as hard as they did through the meadow and the hilly incline to the place where Rafe hoped Molly had gone.

“I told her that Aunt Grace was out there,” he said, as they paused once to look for any visible signs that Molly had come in this direction. “That somewhere in the distance she could find all her possibilities.”

Edie reached over and took hold of his hand. “That was a beautiful thing to say to her.”

“But she’s not old enough to come up here. It’s too dangerous.” He gazed up the side of the bluff. “Not steep, but if she doesn’t know the way …”

“Nothing over here,” Rick called from the far side of a copse of sugar maples. “No sign of a horse or Molly.”

“I think I’m going all the way up, and you and Rick can continue around the base and see if you can find anything over there.” He started to turn away, but Edie pulled Ice Cream in front of him.

“Rick’s fine on his own. I’m going up with you.”

Rafe shook his head. “It’s too dangerous.”

“Yet you took Molly up there?”

“With me. I took her up with me. On the back of my horse.”

“But that’s the best vantage point up there, isn’t it?” “Best one of the valley, and you can see at least half of the entire estate from there.”

“Then I’m going. And you’re not stopping me, Rafe.”

He reared up in his seat and flagged Rick off in the other direction, then settled back down. “No, I guess I’m not stopping you, am I?”

“Look, this isn’t your fault. I know you’re blaming yourself, but—”

“You don’t know half of what I’m thinking,” he growled, nudging Donder around to head in the direction of the trail leading up, “so just follow me. OK? Keep a couple of lengths back, and you’ll be fine.”

“But will you?” she asked.

He twisted back in his saddle to look at her. “Do you ever give up?”

“Do you ever give in?”

Rather than answering, Rafe straightened in his seat and urged Donder forward. She knew Rafe was worried. More like scared to death. Blaming himself, too. She knew, because she was going through the same gamut of raw emotions. But at the end of this ordeal she’d have Molly, and Rafe would have. “I guess I don’t ever give up,” she said, pulling Ice Cream in behind Donder. Because she loved Rafe. When it was all said and done, she loved that stubborn man like crazy, and she wasn’t going to give up on him. Not any time soon.

The ride up to the bluff wasn’t as difficult as she’d expected, but once at the top her legs felt rubbery and her back was beginning to ache, so she was happy to slip out of the saddle while Rafe had a look around. “It’s beautiful up here,” she said, gazing out over the great expanse of land.

“Jess and I used to come up here when things got too intense at home. It always felt safe. Probably because I knew the old man was too drunk to come this far looking for me.”

“Would he have seen beauty up here if he’d been able to get here?”

“What a joke! Lawrence Corbett see beauty anywhere? Not a chance in hell.” He stepped up to the precipice outside the shelf where he and Molly had spent that evening, visored his eyes with his hand, then looked out over the valley below. “He was a miserable man, Edie. Rotten soul. Nothing fazed him, nothing touched him except the ugliness he chose to have around him.”

“Yet he was a good doctor?”

“A brilliant doctor, technically. Don’t know how he related to his patients, but no one ever complained, as far as I knew. So I guess he knew how to curb the demon when he was on the job.”

“He must have been a miserable man.”

“That much is true. He was.”

“I mean miserable in his own skin. How could anyone live with himself, straddling the line the way he did? Good doctor, bad person?”

“Guess I’ve never asked myself that question.” He walked over to Donder and pulled a pair of binoculars from his saddle bag. “Probably because I never gave a damn about anything having to do with my old man.”

“So why not let him go now, Rafe?” She picked up a fist-sized stone and handed it to him. “This is your father. Throw him over the cliff and be done with him once and for all.”

He studied the rock for a moment then tossed it on the ground. “I like the way you care, Edie. Shows me there’s still good in the world. But it’s not as simple as that. I can’t simply hurl everything over the side of the cliff and put an end to the past thirty-five years of my life.” He reached out and brushed his thumb across her cheek. “If it were that easy, I’d throw every loose rock
up here over the edge. But that’s not going to get rid of the one glaringly obvious problem—I am my father’s son. I look like him and I act like him.”

She took the binoculars and headed back to the edge of the overlook then began to scan below for any signs of Molly or her horse. “Personally, I like the look. At least he left you something good. But as far as acting like him …” She turned herself to face south, and continued looking. “Answer me this one question, Rafe, and answer it honestly. If you weren’t afraid that you were like your father, would you keep Molly?” She knew the answer could break her heart, especially if it didn’t include her, but she also knew it could be the best thing for Molly.

“Yes,” he whispered. “I would.”

A single tear clipped down her cheek. “Then you have to keep her. Because here’s the thing.” She turned to face west. “Your father wouldn’t have come up here looking for Molly this way. His heart wouldn’t be ripping in two, thinking about the little girl being out here somewhere, lost. He wouldn’t be putting Molly’s needs before his own. You are not your father, Rafe. But you are Molly’s father, the man who loves her and who would give his own life to protect her. And you would, wouldn’t you? You would give up your very life right now if that’s what you had to do to save Molly, because you love her more than you love yourself.”

“Yes,” he choked.

“Then it’s settled. I’m not sure how we’re going to work out the rest of the details, but for now we don’t have to. All we have to do is find Molly.” She swiped back her tears then turned to him. “Grace will be
happy, Rafe.” She’d done her job. Done the right thing. But the pain was unbearable as she didn’t know if she would be included in what she’d just done. Rafe had overcome such a major hurdle in his life, but could he overcome another one? Or would it even be fair expecting him to, considering how difficult it had been to get him to realize his feelings for Molly?

Maybe that was as far as it could go.

Before Rafe could respond, his cell phone rang. “That was Rick,” he said a moment later. “He said he hasn’t found a single clue that would indicate Molly has even come out this far, so he’s going to head out to Jess’s cabin, regroup and get ready for a night ride. I think we should do the same thing. Meet Rick at the cabin and regroup.”

She glanced up at the setting sun, the gold and pinks of the evening sky, and nodded. “Maybe we’ll see something on the way there.” She could only hope because even though Molly wasn’t going to be her daughter now, that didn’t mean the connection was automatically broken. She still felt so linked to that child, still loved her in ways she’d never believed she could love anyone. “I don’t want to leave her out there in the dark, alone, all night.”

“Neither do I,” he said, stepping up to Edie and pulling her into his arms. “But I want you safe in the cabin while I go back out, because I’m not going to put you at risk the way Molly is.”

“I can hunt along with you all night, Rafe.”

“Maybe
you
can, but I can’t do it. The two people I … I love most in the world … I can’t have them both at risk.”

She heard the words, and they scared her to death,
because she truly did want to believe them. Part of her, though, chalked them up to some kind of emotional reaction to Molly being missing, while part of her hung on to them for dear life. She didn’t know what to do, couldn’t figure it out right now. Maybe she was afraid to figure it out. So instead of over-thinking the moment, she simply sighed contentedly and stayed in his embrace for another moment. Then she gathered the resolve to push herself away from him. “How about I lead the way back down, and you can bring up the rear? That’ll give you a better vantage point in case we’ve missed something on the way up.” Oh, she knew what she’d missed on the way up. And now she was scared to death that she could lose it on the way down. Or lose it after Molly was discovered safe and sound. Or after Rafe came to his senses and remembered what he’d said in the heat of the moment.

But it was all good, she kept telling herself. She’d done what she was supposed to, what she’d promised she would, and the rest of it … well, the only thing she knew for sure was that she loved Rafe, loved Molly. For now, it was enough.

“At least eat something before you two go out again,” Edie insisted, as she scanned Jess’s cabinets for anything she could heat up. “Here … some soup. Will you have some soup?” She eyed the propane stove, not sure how to get it going. The cabin wasn’t wired for electricity, but Rick had laid a nice fire in the fireplace, so that was good. She wouldn’t have to sit alone in the dark once they went back out. And there
was
indoor plumbing.

“You heat the soup,” Rick said. “While you’re doing
that, I’m going to step outside and call my son. Say goodnight, maybe tell him a bedtime story.”

What she wanted to be doing with Molly right now. What Rafe
would
be doing with Molly very soon. Or maybe what they’d be doing together.

“And I’m going to look around the cabin to see what Jess left behind in the way of flashlights and batteries. This could turn into a long night.” He glanced at Edie. “And soup will be fine. Thank you.”

“I’m going to fix a flask of it to take along, in case you find Molly. She’ll need something to warm her up.”

“You’re going to make a wonderful mother,” he said. “Someday, maybe.”

“She’s your daughter, Edie. You can’t deny that.”

“And she’s your daughter, too.
You
can’t deny that.”

For the first time in what seemed like for ever, he managed a smile. “You know I’m a work in progress, don’t you? With a lot of emphasis on the work.”