Cardinal's Rule (38 page)

“Do you want to be my good boy?”

“Yes, Mistress!”

She didn’t correct him. Deep in subspace, he’d probably do anything she asked of him.

“You want to come for me?”

“Yes, Mistress!”

She’d never been able to give him this before. Dammit, he deserved it. At least one of them

could end the evening feeling better than when it started. She reached under him with her left hand and grabbed his stiff cock. With her right, she spanked him bare handed.

“Come for me, boy.”

His hips frantically worked in time with her motions, until he let out a cry and she felt his hot juices coating her hand, slicking his cock even more. But she didn’t stop, spanking him with more force, milking him, forcing his cock to stay rigid until a few minutes later he was begging her to stop even as she pulled another, smaller orgasm from him.

Only then did she stop. She wiped her hands on a towel and unhooked his wrists. Grabbing a

few antiseptic wipes from the canister by the bench, she cleaned herself and him up, then helped him sit up.

His body still trembled. She closed her eyes and held him, remembering the brief interlude in her life where she’d allowed herself to hope maybe he would be a part of her future.

Without realizing it at first, she stroked his back, his hair, as he clung to her.

She kissed the top of his head. “You’re a good boy,” she softly told him. “Thank you for letting me play with you tonight.”

“Thank you,” he said back.

When he recovered enough to get dressed, she let him get up and wiped down the bench to

make it ready for the next players. A quick trip into the bathroom to wash her hands, and when she returned, Bob still stood by her gear bag, waiting for her. They staked out a small corner sofa and sat, talking, for hours. Not much had changed in his life.

“Thank you for this, Tilly. I appreciate it.”

She offered him a smile. “I’m glad you came tonight. No pun intended.”

He rested his arm on the back of the couch. His fingers brushed her arm. “Are you doing okay?

He treating you well?”

“Yeah. Still abusing my ex.”

That made him grin. “Good. I’m glad.” His smile faded. “You happy?”

Buzzkill
. “Landry’s a good man. I love him. The doctors are pretty confident he’s going to beat the cancer.”

His fingers didn’t leave her arm. “He’s not jealous of you being here?” He met her gaze. “I

can’t say I’d be happy about my wife being with another guy like this.”

“He’s not a jealous man like that.” She smirked. “He probably would have enjoyed watching

me do that to you. Landry and I have something in common, you know.”

“What?”

“We both enjoy naked men.” When he looked at her in confusion, she explained a little more of the story.

He laughed. “So if I run into you here with him I shouldn’t be surprised if he offers to play with me, too?”

She grinned, a sudden thought filling her with heat. “Maybe I could get you a twofer if you

wanted.”

His eyes widened a little. “Holy fuck,” he muttered. “I’m not gay, but I have to admit the

thought of that made me hard.”

Before she stopped herself, she leaned in and brushed a kiss across his lips. Not long enough to be passionate, but a little longer than just friends. “I’ll talk to him about it.”

* * * *

Tilly sat in her car in the driveway for almost twenty minutes and stared at the darkened house.

She’d sat and talked with Bob most of the night. Not quite four a.m. now, she could easily go to a hotel and wait to come home until later that afternoon.

But that would mean sending Landry a text or calling him to let him know she wouldn’t be

home so he wouldn’t worry.

She slammed her fist against the steering wheel. This was her house, dammit. Not Cris’ house.

Her husband,
not
his.

Never mind she now felt guilty about what she’d done, even though truthfully, Landry probably would be more than happy to help her top Bob. He also probably would have enjoyed watching her top him tonight. She knew enough about Landry to know not only would he not consider that inappropriate considering the context, but he’d probably think Bob was hot.

She grabbed her bags and let herself in the front door. She thought about taking the toy bag down to the playroom, then decided against it. The door to Cris’ room was shut and she’d have to walk past it.

She dropped her bags in her closet. They could wait until tomorrow. She turned and surveyed

the room, the bed exactly as she’d left it, made, with the corset she’d decided not to wear still laying on the coverlet.

The unexpected lump in her throat was hard to swallow down. Except for his times in the

hospital, this was the first night since their wedding they hadn’t spent together, at least in part.

Logic tried to break in.
Landry belonged to Cris first, not you. Cris spent the past several
months unable to sleep with him at all.

How’s it feel?

She shoved that line of thought out of her brain and grabbed the corset before she yanked the sheets down. She dumped her clothes in the closet then slipped between the sheets. By four-thirty, she knew sleep wasn’t coming.

She got up, found her robe, and yanked it on. Then she quietly opened her room door and

walked down the hall.

Silently, she held her breath and listened at Cris’ door.

Nothing.

Well, duh. They’re asleep. Which you should be, too.

She didn’t like the ache in her heart. Part of her was tempted to open the door, walk in, and lay down next to Landry. He’d welcome her, no doubt.

It wouldn’t be the mature or fair thing to do, but who said anything about fairness or maturity, dammit?

She returned to her room. As she closed the bedroom door, she locked it behind her.

* * * *

Daylight streamed through the skylight, into the bathroom and reflected off the sink faucet,

bouncing into her eyes. She’d forgotten to push the bathroom door closed.

“Shit.”

She rolled over. After nine-thirty, but she didn’t hear anything going on in the house. Both men should be up.

She used the bathroom and decided to go ahead and take her shower now. It would mean not

making an excuse to Landry about why she didn’t want to shower with him this morning.

Not that she didn’t want to, but she couldn’t face him yet. She admitted it—she was avoiding him.

I’m sure Cris slept like a rock.

Okay, clear those thoughts out right now.

I wonder how Bob slept last night.

She stood under the water, hot as she could stand it, and let it soak into her. Bob had looked so happy last night when she offered to play with him. Even happier the way she played with him. And when she left the door open to future playtime with him?

It nearly broke her heart how hopeful he looked.

If there was a victim in all this, it was him, even if she’d never slept with him. By all rights she should be happily dating him, falling in love with him. What the hell had she done?

It’s not like Landry fell in love with her because he knew her and wanted to be with her. He wanted someone to help take care of him.

Whereas she’d spent three years working with Bob. Okay, so only a day here and there, and

total time together, she’d spent a lot more with Landry, but still.

Who said you couldn’t buy love?

Landry had bought hers.

* * * *

She dressed and walked out to the kitchen to make herself something to eat. Landry sat at the

table in the kitchen with his laptop. He looked up at her approach. At first he smiled, then it faded.

“What’s wrong, love?”

“Nothing.” She popped a bagel into the toaster oven and waited for it without walking over to give him a good morning kiss.

He pushed back from the table and went to her. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine.” When he wrapped his arms around her from behind, she let him kiss her cheek but

she didn’t turn around to reciprocate like she normally might.

“I tried to come in this morning. You locked the door.”

“Oh, did I? Sorry. It was really late when I came in.”

He finally released her. She heard Cris down the hall, in the office probably, talking on the phone. Landry didn’t leave her alone, however. He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms and watched her slather way more cream cheese than she usually used over the toasted bagel.

He dropped his voice. “Are you going to talk to me?”

She headed for the lanai and hoped he wouldn’t follow her. “There’s nothing to talk about. I just want to eat breakfast. Is that a crime?”

He didn’t follow and she felt even worse for giving him the brush-off.

Eventually she returned to the bedroom, and that’s when he followed her and pursued the topic.

“Love, did something happen at the club last night?”

She refused to meet his gaze. “No. I’m fine.”

“Did you play?”

She thought about lying to him and decided not to. “Yes.”

“Who did you play with?”

“Does it matter?” He sighed, but he didn’t force her. She finally admitted, “Bob.”

“I see.”

She wheeled around, immediately on the defensive. “What? I’m not allowed to play? You said

as long as I didn’t have sex with someone else that you didn’t care.”

He slowly nodded. “That’s correct. I did. However, you’ve never been this upset before. I’d like to know why.”

She so didn’t want to go there, but it spilled out and she knew if she didn’t say it, it would continue to fester. She stalked over to him and lowered her voice so Cris couldn’t hear. “You told me when you found out what Cris did to me that you felt like a pity fuck, right?”

He nodded, eying her, but didn’t speak.

“Well, I guess it finally slammed home for me that it’s about the same way I feel. Like you

married me because you felt sorry for me because of what he did to me. Let’s face it, you’re gay.

Straight for me notwithstanding, normally I wouldn’t have even crossed your radar.” When she tried to turn away, he grabbed her arm and wouldn’t let go.

“Love, that’s
not
how I feel about you! Yes, in the beginning it was a transaction, one designed to punish Cris, but I have never lied when I’ve told you how I feel. I love you. You are my wife, and I plan on doing my damnedest to convince you of how I feel no matter how long it takes.”

She jerked her arm away and pulled back. “Yeah. So I don’t leave with your money.”

He shook his head. “No! Jesus Christ, I love you. What do I have to do to convince you of that?

What caused this?”

“When the three years are up,” she said, “we’ll go back to your attorney and change the pre-nup so everything’s yours again. I don’t want anything, only the salary you promised.” She wouldn’t look at him. “I want to be fair.”

He crossed the bedroom and grabbed her arms, shaking her. “You promised you wouldn’t leave

me! You
can’t
leave me!”

“I can, and I don’t have to leave you. This is
my
house, remember?”

“Dammit, Tilly, please talk to me!”

She thrashed against him, but he held on tighter until she finally gave in and collapsed against him. He pulled her into his arms and sat with her on the bed. “Talk to me, baby girl, please. Don’t do this to me. Don’t kill me like this, I can’t take it. I can’t lose you.”

“You belong with Cris,” she admitted. “You’re his Master, and he loves you.”

“You said you loved me,” he hoarsely asked. “Didn’t you mean it?”

“Yeah. I mean it. That’s why I can let you go be with him.” How ironic, the two men who could break her heart getting to ride off into the sunset together without her.

“No. I won’t lose you. I’ll send him away.”

“You can’t do that to him.”

“I told you from the beginning that I would do it if you told me to.”

“But you love him.”

“And I love
you
and you’re my wife. If you think I’m leaving you without a fight, think again.”

He made her look at him. “This has nothing to do with the money. We can go down there today and redo the pre-nup if it’ll make you feel better. If I lose you, I lose my fucking heart, and I can’t go through that again.”

“You love Cris. I know you do. It’s not fair to him to do this. I’d moved on after he left. It took a while, sure, but I did it. I can do it again. You need him and he needs you. He can’t find someone else to be what you are to him. You, on the other hand, are proof that given enough time, I can find someone else.” She tried to climb out of his lap and he wouldn’t let her go.

He shook his head. “Stop it. I won’t leave. I can’t lose you.” Then she spotted the tears in his eyes and it froze her in place. “I
can’t
lose you,” he repeated, his voice hoarse and choked. “Please, Tilly, reconsider! Talk to me. Just…dammit, tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it! I need you!”

She reached up and gently brushed his tears away with her thumb, fascinated by the feel of

them on her fingertips. This wasn’t the strong and angry Master, or her playful husband, or even gentle and loving Daddy.

This was a desperate man in a lot of pain.

“If it tells you anything,” he said, “I didn’t cry when Cris left me until much later. You’re killing me, baby girl. You’re my life and I can’t lose you. I
need
you. I don’t want to live without you. Please!”

She threw her arms around him and tried to deal with the crush of emotions swamping her. No, she couldn’t leave him. He loved her.

As much as she loved him.

He
needed
her.

He muttered into her hair, “Please, I love you. I can’t lose you. Don’t leave me.”

“How can you say you’d get rid of him and keep me? You’ve loved him longer than you’ve

loved me.”

He lifted his head and touched his forehead to hers. “As you yourself said, I’ve lost him before and I survived. To lose you would kill me.”