Cardinal's Rule (27 page)

on his back with her tightly encased by his arms. “That’s it, sweetheart,” he whispered, kissing her forehead as his fingers stroked her spine. “That was so very, very beautiful.”

For a moment she worried she’d hyperventilate as she tried to catch her breath. Never before had that happened like that. Ever.

Not even with Cris.

No triggers, no commands to come, no assistance from a hand, a tongue, or a vibrator. Just his body and those damn fine eyes.

“Please tell me,” he whispered.

She shook her head and buried her face against his chest, not able to talk yet.

He didn’t ask again. He waited her out until she felt reasonably rational. “Thank you.”

“For what?” He sounded amused.

She lifted her head and kissed him. “For marrying me.”

“I think you have that backwards, but as you wish, love. You’re absolutely welcome.”

She stroked his jaw with her fingers, feeling the shadow of stubble already there. What did this mean? That she trusted him more in a few days than she had trusted Cris in years? That she’d been able to let loose with him in a way she never could with Cris?

Why did she feel guilty that in all the years she’d spent with Cris, she’d never been able to achieve that one simple release despite their countless hours of trying.

“It feels like I belong here, with you,” she quietly admitted.

His gaze traveled her face for many long moments before he spoke. “Maybe that’s because you

do.”

Chapter Fourteen

Tuesday morning, Tilly finished her work-out to find Cris in the office. He stood at the

windows, looking out over the backyard while he engaged in a pretty serious-sounding conversation.

Jeans, barefoot, no shirt, his formal collar, and wrist cuffs. The muscles in his back rippled as he shifted position, still not turning, and lashing out at whoever he spoke to on the phone.

Unbidden, a memory flashed through her mind, of giving him seductive backrubs that always

turned into even more seductive lovemaking sessions. His angry voice snapped her out of her reverie.

“That’s
not
acceptable! We need those numbers finalized by Friday night. That’s been the planned deadline for three months, and no one mentioned we weren’t on target to make it. What’s the problem?”

She leaned in the doorway and listened. He sounded pissed. Obviously, the person on the other end of the cell pressed to Cris’ ear had no idea of how he was dressed or what he’d been subjected to over the past several days.

“No. Get me those numbers, have them by tomorrow night. I’m flying out there Thursday

morning. If those numbers aren’t ready for me, we won’t consider renewing your contract.” He hung up and swore, then turned and started when he saw her standing there. “Hey.” His voice softened, gentled.

Slave in the house. Bye-bye Cristo the executive.
“You do still own a set of balls. Nice to see.”

She couldn’t help the snark and didn’t want to.

He tossed his cell onto the desk. “They’re going to cost us a very valuable contract if they don’t get me those quarterly stats like they promised.” He scrubbed his face with his hands, then seemed to remember his status as his posture stiffened. His voice changed, deferential. “I’m sorry, Mrs. LaCroux.

Did you need the office? I’ll move my laptop if you want to work in here.”

She shook her head, still not used to hearing that name come from his mouth. “No.”

“What is it?”

She shrugged. “Nothing.” She wasn’t up to having a “conversation” with him yet, but she

couldn’t quite bring herself to leave, either. His brown hair hung to his shoulders, but he kept it neatly 

trimmed. He brushed his fingers through it, pulling it away from his face.

A thought hit her and she winced. “Goddammit.”

“Ma’am?”

“I need to call Bob and break the news to him.”

He didn’t ask. She looked at him. “You know, you met him. I-don’t-need-you-to-hold-him-for-

me Bob.”

“Ah. Him.”

“Yeah, him. I told Landry he had the world’s suckiest timing. I mean, seriously. I finally met a guy I might…” She remembered who she was talking to. “Never mind. I don’t want to have this

conversation with you.”

That gave her a perfect excuse to leave.

* * * *

She made the call she didn’t want to make and asked Bob to meet her for dinner at a different

restaurant than they’d eaten at the week before. Part of her wanted to do nothing more than stay curled up beside Landry in their bed and enjoy their time together before his new round of hell started in the morning.

The fact that Landry understood why she needed to get this done sooner rather than later eased some of her guilt in that regard. At least Cris was home with Landry and helping him with the preparations for tomorrow’s procedure.

It didn’t make her feel any less guilty over what she was about to say to Bob. She nervously waited for him and felt badly that he offered her a hesitant smile when he walked in a few minutes after her arrival.

He knew. She felt it in her gut.

She stood as he approached the table and stepped into his hug as she wistfully wondered how he would have been in bed.

They sat. After the waiter took their drink order, Bob leaned forward and clasped his hands

together. “Go ahead and start from the beginning, but I have a feeling I know how this tale will end.”

He nodded toward her left hand.

She looked at the rings there. Still not used to wearing them, she’d forgotten about them. “Shit.

Bob, I’m sorry. It’s a weird story.”

“I’m sure.”

She left out the sex and revenge aspects, and her suspicion that in a few months she would be more than on her way to totally in love with Landry. When she finished, she reached out to touch his hand and he didn’t pull away. “I’m sorry. I know it sounds crazy, but I miss being a nurse. And I can take some time off from the rest of my clients. If you want, I’ll meet you at the club to play when I can.

Just as friends. You know, Bob and Tilly.” She took a deep breath, hoping he’d understand. “It’s not that I don’t want to see you. And I’d totally understand if you’re pissed off or upset. I never wanted to hurt you. I’m so sorry.”

He squeezed her hand and smiled, but he didn’t let go of her. “You’re an incredible woman. Just my dumb luck. What time is the biopsy tomorrow?”

“We have to have him there by eight. Hopefully, he can come home tomorrow afternoon.”

He looked thoughtful. “Lucky man.” His thumb stroked her hand. “A nurse, huh? Promise to

torture your ex for me.”

She nodded. “Oooh, yeah. There will be a lot of torture of the not-fun kind coming his way.”

Although the worst is behind me now. I hope.

They had a good dinner, and she felt guilty when he insisted on paying. “No, this is on me.

Consider it a wedding present.”

She didn’t detect any sarcasm in his voice and made a decision. “Look, let me get through this next week, find out what’s going on, and then we can resume our sessions again. No charge.”

He smiled, but the boy was gone. This was all Bob. “I don’t think I can risk being in the house with your ex there. I mean it. It would be too much temptation to beat the crap out of him. I don’t want you stressed out any more than you need to be.”

“I feel so crappy about this. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”

He shrugged. “It’s okay. We all have to do what we need to do.” He stroked her hand. “Maybe

once life settles down we can meet at the club to play or something.”

Or something
. She didn’t want to say it, but she knew. In his heart, he understood the opportunity had slipped through his fingers. Her heart ached. Maybe not exactly what she’d needed in a partner, but she had no doubts he wouldn’t have left her without warning.

Or permission.

Outside, he walked her to her car and gave her another long hug before stepping away. “Take

care, Tilly. If you ever need anything, please, call me.” He smiled as he caressed her cheek. “And promise me if you find yourself free again, you’ll give me first shot.”

She forced a smile to cover her breaking heart. “I will. Thank you.”

He nodded and turned to walk to his car. As she slid behind the wheel her rings caught the light from the security lamps in the parking lot and winked at her.

Had she made the right call? Only time would tell.

* * * *

Tilly returned home, heartsick.
From being alone to having men falling out my fucking ears.

Including one she wasn’t sure how she felt about who now occupied her guest room.

It was after eleven when she pulled into the garage and shut her car off. She sat there for a while, thinking. She’d set her feet on this path, now she had to see it through. What would it say about her if she changed her mind, went back on her word to help Landry, all so she could pursue a relationship with Bob?

What did it say about her that she didn’t want to relinquish the small bit of safety she now felt when she looked at the rings on her left hand? Safety that had absolutely nothing to do with money.

Despite the hour, Cris sat at the kitchen table, working on his laptop in the otherwise silent house. He stood upon her arrival. “Good evening, Mrs. LaCroux.”

She wanted to scream. “Okay, stop that. I know he told you to do it, but I can’t stand it. I’ll tell him I overruled him on this one. My house, my rules. Just call me Tilly, and quit the ma’am stuff.”

“All right. As you wish.”

She waved at the table. “And you don’t need to stand like that when I enter a room, either.” She pulled a bottle of Boylan cola from the fridge, grabbed the church key from where it hung on a magnetic strip on the side of the fridge, and popped the cap. She slid into the chair across from Cris’

laptop, where he’d retaken his seat. “Late work?”

“ Yeah. I know we’ll be busy tomorrow. I want to be able to focus on him.”

“So what exactly do you do? Professionally, I mean. Are you still coding software, or just an 

office wonk?”

“I run the place for him, mostly. I work on a few pet projects, but for the most part, I’m doing administrative stuff, negotiating contracts, things like that. My official title is chief operating officer.”

“What does he do?”

“He’s the owner, the chief executive officer, and president. He still does some coding, but we have a stable of programmers working for us now. He doesn’t have time for hands-on stuff much anymore. He does more beta-testing than anything, because he co-ordinates compiling the training materials we ship with the software.”

“Do they know about you and him?”

He smiled. She recognized that knowing expression, playful, with just a hint of the fun kind of evil behind it. “They know we’re lovers and business partners, yes. I’m reasonably sure my

administrative assistant has connected the dots, because Master once made me kneel in my office before he called her in to have her set up a conference call with two of our off-site programmers.” He smiled. “I’d had a long day and got a little mouthy with him. He wanted to remind me of my place. As for the others, they probably suspect more, the people closest to us. But considering our company made the list of top twenty tech firms to work for in L.A. the last three years running, no one says anything, much less complains. Human resources always has a waiting list of people who’ve submitted resumes to us. We could easily fill another hundred positions, if we had them available.”

“How many people work there?”

“I’ve got five programming teams of fifteen each, some freelancers we bring in on a regular

basis, and an administrative staff of twenty. My administrative assistant is the office manager.”

She studied him in a new emotional light. The Cris she’d known worked mostly alone, except

when he had to travel and work on-site. Early in their relationship they’d established a system where she didn’t disturb him during his working hours. It was the rare day she came home from school or from work that he wasn’t there, unless he had to travel. Even if he was working, having his solid, albeit silent presence in the apartment was a comfort.

She’d missed that.

Letting her fingers trail through the cold condensation on the bottle, she softly asked, “Does he make you happy?”

From his frown, she knew he didn’t want to answer.

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know.”

He eventually nodded.

“I wish you’d told me about him.” She held up a hand to stay his comment. “I can’t change the past and neither can you. I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about all of this. About you.” She couldn’t look at him. It would start her crying again. “You lied to me. Not telling me about him was the same as a lie. Honestly, I don’t know how to deal with you now. I don’t trust you. What else was there you didn’t tell me? How many more secrets?”

He shook his head. “Just Lan.”

“Tell me the truth. Tell me it wasn’t my fault. Tell me it wasn’t me.”

He waited for her to meet his gaze. “It wasn’t you, Tilly,” he softly said. “You did nothing wrong.”

She nodded and finished her soda. With a soft belch, she dropped the empty bottle in the

recycling bin under the sink and headed for bed.

* * * *

“I’ve overruled you,” she said as she slipped into bed with Landry.

He looked exhausted, the course of laxatives he had to take to clean out his bowels in

preparation for the biopsy wearing on him. “What?”

“Cris.” She rolled onto her side and kissed him. “I told him not to call me Mrs. LaCroux, or ma’am. I don’t mind being called that usually, but the formality…” She didn’t know how to explain it.

“Creeps you out?” he suggested.

“From him, yes. There’s no reason to make this any harder on him than we need to, and it’ll

make it a lot easier on me. I also told him he didn’t have to stand every time I walk into the room, either.”

“Oh, but love, I was looking forward to him doing that.”