Cara O'Shea's Return (11 page)

Cara dug her nails into the trunk of the tree and squeezed her eyes shut.

“From that point on we were inseparable, much to her mother’s frustration. She forbade Hannah from seeing me, but we were in love. Hannah defied her mother, sneaking out to be with me every chance she got. My eighteenth birthday came, and we made plans to sneak off and get married the day she turned eighteen as well.”

Married? Cara’s eyes popped open and she swung her head around to stare at him. He gazed off into the distance as though reliving the past.

“Then, three weeks before her birthday, Hannah disappeared. I was frantic. I went to the big house where she lived with her mother and grandparents. Her mother was expecting me. She met me at the door, informing me that Hannah had gone to live with her grandparents on their estate somewhere in the Caribbean.”

He sat forward, propping his elbows on his knees, his hands dangling between them. He dropped his gaze to stare at the ground. The despondency of the motion sliced at her heart. She pushed away from the tree and crossed the grassy path to sit beside him on the bench. He turned his head to look at her and there was hell in his eyes.

“I was eighteen, Cara mine. I had no money and no way of tracking her down.” He slumped back against the bench and stared up through the branches of the tree. “I knew in my heart she would never have left without a word. Not unless she was forced. But after six months, I had no choice but to accept I was never going to see her again. I still had my scholarship, and when fall came, I packed up my belongings and went to college. You’ve heard the story of how your mother and I met. I was given a second chance at love when I met your mother, but I never could forget Hannah.”

Straightening, he laid his hand on hers where she held them clenched on her lap. “You’ve never been in love, so you can’t understand the strength of that first time. Your mother and I made a life together, and when you girls came along, I knew I’d been given a gift beyond measure. I loved Mary. I still do. How could I not? But the love I have for her isn’t the same as the soul stealing need buried deep in my heart for the girl I had thought to spend my life with, only to have her stolen from me before we ever had a chance to begin that life.”

He patted her hand before moving his own away. Shoving his fingers through his hair in agitation, he leaned his elbows on his knees once more and stared toward a young family in the distance. “Fate stepped in when I bought the accounting agency here in Palmerton. I placed an ad in the town paper for a secretary. Hannah answered the ad. It was hard to tell which of us was more shocked. She hadn’t known I was the new owner and stopped in the office to fill out an application. She walked in the open doorway, stood in the middle of the office, and started to cry. That day was one of the best, and worst, of my life.”

Cara sucked in a ragged breath. “Why hadn’t she ever gotten in touch with you?”

“She was just a girl when her family whisked her off to the Virgin Islands. She managed to get to a phone once, but before she could reach me, she was discovered by her grandmother. They watched her from then on. The next few years weren’t easy for her.”

Cara stifled a snort. The last
eight
years hadn’t exactly been a picnic for Ma and the rest of them. “How so?”

He sighed, but held her demanding gaze. “The experiences of those years were Hannah’s own personal hell, and aren’t mine to share, even to win your sympathy. I’ve experienced her family first hand. Suffice to say, they’re a viciously controlling, cruel bunch. She did what they told her. She went to school, got her degree in business, and when she graduated, they set up a job for her here in the states with her family’s financial firm. They put her on a plane back to Maine. When it landed in New York, she didn’t get on the connecting flight. She simply walked away. By that time, I had met and married your mother. When Hannah managed to make her way back to Maine and learned I’d married, she left the area and her family, and never returned. She eventually settled here in Palmerton.”

And destroyed our family.
Helpless anger shimmered through Cara. “So, what happened? You hired her as your secretary and started having an affair?”

Other than a slight flinch, he didn’t react to her cutting sarcasm. “I hired her, but there was no affair. Not at first. She refused the job, but I kept after her until she finally relented. I begged her, Cara. I still loved her. I wanted her in my life any way I could have her. I convinced her, and myself, it would be enough just to see her every day. For a while it was. Then your mother went back to school, and I found myself alone more often than not.”

Hot fury burst within Cara. She leapt to her feet and rounded on him. “Don’t you dare! Damn it, Daddy. Don’t you dare blame Ma for any of this!”

“I’m not.” He rose to stand in front of her. “It’s hard for a man to admit, even to himself, when push came to shove, he wasn’t strong enough to do what was right for his family. But then, I knew at the time no matter what I chose to do, someone was going to be hurt. I’ll go to my grave knowing I chose to save myself from the worst of that hurt and sacrificed Mary and you girls in the process.” He shoved both hands through his hair. “I’m the one to blame, Cara mine. Not your mother and not Hannah.” At her snort of disdain, he laid his hand on her arm to keep her from spinning away. “I know you won’t believe me, but Hannah doesn’t deserve your animosity. She did everything she could to prevent anyone from being hurt, and is just as much a victim as Mary and you girls.
I
was the one who forced the situation.”

He was right. Cara didn’t believe him. No matter what kind of face he put on it, Hannah Dunn had stolen another woman’s husband and destroyed a family. Cara tugged free of his hand.

He dropped his arm to his side with a heavy sigh. “I used your mother’s absence as an excuse to have what I wanted, what I’d wanted most of my life. I pressured Hannah until she finally couldn’t take it anymore. She turned in her resignation. She was going to leave town.”

“Why didn’t you let her?” Cara cried. Eight years of heartbreak and disillusionment converged and left her shaking. She shoved at him with all her might and he staggered back. Her face twisted in a mask of pain, and furious tears blurred her vision. She leaped at him, thumping both fists against his chest. “Why didn’t you just let her?”

Her voice broke on a sob. He pulled her into his arms and held her close, pressing his face into her hair. Standing there in the shade of the old maple, he rocked her back and forth as she wept. She clung to him as she had when she was a little girl and needed him to make everything all right. But he couldn’t make everything right this time.

“I couldn’t lose her again, Cara mine.” Pain and loss strangled his voice. “I’d made a good life with your mother. You girls were my joy. But I couldn’t lose her again.”

The tightly shuttered windows made the studio dark, despite sunset being several hours away. Cara’s muscles ached as if she had been run over by a truck and Daddy didn’t appear much better when she left him.

She now had a better understanding of why he did the things he’d done. Still, she didn’t know yet how, or even
if
, that understanding would change her feelings about the situation.

Hearing her father professing love at first sight for a woman other than Ma was like taking a fist to the heart, but he was wrong when he said she couldn’t understand the strength of a first love. She did understand.

As a woman, she knew the folly of loving a man like Finn, but if seeing him again had taught her anything, it was that the long held feelings she had for him hadn’t faded with time, despite her efforts to put him from her mind and heart. Her father’s declaration of that same kind of love for a woman Cara thought of only in terms of infidelity, just confused her more than she had already been.

Too strung out to deal with her father’s revelations, or her helpless feelings for Finn, she needed to paint. With that in mind, she tossed her purse and keys on a shelf and headed for her easel. She stumbled to a halt, yelping in terror when a large body rose from behind the counter in the center of the room.

Recognizing Finn in the dim light did nothing to calm her racing heart. “Are you crazy? You scared the hell out of me!”

“I can see that.” Calmness itself, he leaned on the counter with a crowbar in one hand.

“What are you doing here?”

He lifted the crowbar. “Just cleaning up the rest of the carpet tacking.”

“In the dark?”

Hadn’t Ryan finished that task this morning before he left? She eyed Finn suspiciously. With her heartbeat just barely returning to normal, she stomped over to the wall and slapped the light switch, flooding the room with light.

“How did you get in here?” She jammed her fists to her hips. “Breaking and entering is a crime.”

“You don’t say?”

“Are you stalking me?”

“Looks like it.” He shrugged.

“There are laws against that kind of thing, you know.”

“Are you going to call the cops? My cousin is the chief. I could get him for you on his private cell phone.”

Relief and the drop of adrenaline from the fright he had given her must be making her lightheaded. She shook her head and tried not to smile. She failed.

“Small towns,” she grumbled beneath her breath.

“What was that?” Though his smile was teasing, his eyes were intent and she knew he noticed her red rimmed eyes. He didn’t comment on her tear ravaged face, and she was thankful for his restraint.

“I asked how you got in here. I know I locked the doors before I left.”

Shoving his fingers into the front pocket of his jeans, he held up a ring holding two keys and jangled them slightly.

“I used my key.”

“Your key? I didn’t give you a key!” Indignation smothered any lingering lightheadedness.

He rolled one shoulder in an abbreviated shrug. “I had them from when I did the renovation on the bookstore. I guess I never returned them.”

She held out her hand, palm up in silent demand. He slipped the ring back into his front pocket.

She glared at him. “Add new door locks to your bid.”

He pulled a small, tattered notebook from his back pocket. Taking a pen from the counter top, he flipped to the top page.

“New locks.” He scribbled in the book. “Extra set of keys for the contractor.”

A knock on the front door prevented her from commenting. She crossed the room, thankful for the interruption. The jerk. He needed a set of keys during the renovation, and they both knew it. Whoever was knocking had saved her from having to return them to him later.

Cara opened the door and Meggy sailed inside. She took one look at Cara’s face and grabbed her close.

“Aw, honey. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Cara tossed a worried glance over her shoulder, embarrassed to have Finn witness to the third degree she knew would be coming. Meggy had called just before Cara left to meet Tom, and she wasn’t surprised her friend showed up here instead of calling to find out what happened.

“You don’t
look
fine.” Meggy held up a large bottle of cheap chardonnay with a grin. “But, never fear. I’ve brought medicine.” Her grin froze as she spotted Finn. Gleeful speculation sparkled in her eyes when they jerked back to Cara. “Hmmm. Looks like the doctor is already here. Hi, Finn. I didn’t see you there.”

Cara flashed Meggy a horrified glare and turned. The amusement shining in Finn’s blue eyes said he heard every word.

“Hi, Meggy. How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been great, thanks.” She shot Cara a what’s-going-on stare before cocking her head and smiling at Finn. “What are you doing here?”

“Meggy...”

Finn spoke over Cara’s growled warning. “I’m doing the renovations on Cara’s studio.”

Meggy whipped her head around. “
Finn the Fine
is your contractor?”

Cara groaned, her eyes sliding shut. She wasn’t going to look at him. She really wasn’t. She opened her eyes. The satisfied smile on his face should have warned her of what was coming.

“Remember that dirt?” he quipped softly.

She wanted to laugh, despite the heat rising up her chest and face. Instead, she turned to Meggy, who was already backing toward the front door.

“Oh, no you don’t.” Cara scrambled after her, planning to keep her from leaving by sitting on her if necessary.

“Will you look at that?” Meggy glanced at her watch much too quickly to have noted the time. “I forgot I’m supposed to be meeting with, um...” She snapped her fingers. “With Shan! To talk about that idea we discussed the other day.” She thrust the bottle of wine into Cara’s hand and rushed out the door, calling over her shoulder. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Cara squeezed her eyes shut for a moment when the door closed in her face. Clutching the bottle to her chest, she faced Finn. He stood with his arms crossed, his weight cocked on one hip, and a dimpled grin on his face.

She stalked passed him to grab her purse and keys, meaning to make a clean getaway to her upstairs apartment.

“Finn the Fine?”

“Nobody takes Meggy seriously.” She continued toward the stairs, too heartsick and drained from the conversation with her father to enjoy the bantering tone in Finn’s voice. If she couldn’t paint, then she wanted to crawl into bed and pull the covers over her head.

“So, you think of me as Finn the Fine?” His voice was gently teasing and close, telling her he followed her to the stairs. She stopped and turned. Sure enough, he was only a foot away. She met his gaze, but didn’t return his smile.

“I don’t think of you that way anymore.” This wasn’t a subject she wanted to get into with him—ever, but especially not now, when she was so raw and ragged inside.

“Not so fine anymore, huh?” He pushed the subject.

“Something like that.”
Please, just let it go.
But of course, he didn’t.

“When did you stop thinking of me as Finn the Fine?”

She stiffened and knew she paled. She’d been foolish to think he wasn’t cruel enough to bring up that night, and in his defense, he didn’t realize what he was asking, but that didn’t help at the moment. Still, she should have known the topic would come up eventually. That night would always stand between them.