Capturing Caroline (13 page)

"Torrent!" she
screamed over and over.

He was
gone.

She didn't know
how she knew it, but she did. Torrent was gone. Just like that.
Elsa had devoured him, every last drop of that magnificent man, in
order to make a miracle and save two worlds.

“Oh, Torrent,"
she whispered as grief overcame her. She collapsed to the floor and
slipped into a blessed black hole of nothing.

"Caroline." She
heard her name as if from a distance. "Caroline, wake up."

Her eyes
fluttered open. The white light was gone. The thrumming was gone.
The room was gone. Even the Magica city was gone. Her sister,
Kaitlyn, hovered over her with a worried look on her face.

Caroline pushed
up. "What happened?"

"It worked,"
said a male voice from somewhere to her left. She looked over and
saw Logan sitting on a log, head bowed. "All those with Magica
blood have disappeared. The city is gone. All of them. Even Jessa."
His voice broke on the last sentence and Caroline suddenly realized
she wasn't the only one who'd lost someone.

Caroline looked
around. They were in the middle of a forest. "How did we get
here?"

"We never
left," answered Logan. "We didn't go anywhere. The Magica and all
their buildings did. We reset this reality by removing them. This
is the forest that would have grown in this place had there not
been a city."

"Amazing," she
whispered. Then she closed her eyes. "Torrent is gone, isn’t
he?"

No one answered
her, but they didn’t have to. She opened her eyes and looked at her
sister. Kaitlyn stood with tears running down her face, looking at
a spot not far away.

Cold fear
gripped Caroline. She stood and stumbled over to the area where
Kaitlyn was looking. There, in a patch of tall grass, lay Torrent's
body.

"No!" she
screeched and collapsed next to him. His skin was ashen and waxy.
"No, no, no!" She felt for a pulse, but his flesh was cold and
unyielding.

This was worse
than Torrent just disappearing. He was dead.

Caroline rested
her forehead on his chest and sobbed.

* * * *

She wouldn't
leave his side. Her sister cajoled her and Logan tried easing her
away. All Caroline did was snarl at them. Finally, they left her
curled up against his side in a ball while they made a fire not far
away.

Caroline cried
until she had no more tears. The expression
broken heart
barely covered it.

Her stomach was
mush, her chest hollow; grief was a dark sludge covering her. She
wanted a miracle. She wanted him to stir to life, to sit up and
start breathing again, but his body only grew colder.

There was no
pulse, no miracle.

Torrent had
sacrificed his life for his people and that was the end. The
prophecy had been true.

Now she would
have to find a way to live without him. But to simply
live
seemed a stretch. All she wanted at the moment was to curl into a
ball and join him wherever his soul had disappeared. Now that he
was gone she felt certain all joy was also gone, all love, all
comfort.

What good was
living if you couldn't have joy, love or comfort?

"Caroline?"
asked Kaitlyn quietly next to her. "Do you want me to go get Paige?
I could leave now and make it back with her by mid-morning. She can
run very fast in dire wolf form."

Caroline shook
her head. "No, I'll be ready to leave him by morning. We'll bury
him and go back home. Just...just give some time alone, okay?"

"Of course."
Kaitlyn squeezed her shoulder and backed away, returning to the
fire. Together, her sister and Logan spoke in whispers…about her,
she was sure.

Caroline closed
her eyes and saw Torrent's face. It was the only thing she wanted
to see.

It was
incredible how much of an impact he'd had on her life. She'd
thought she'd known what love was before she met him. Now she
understood she hadn't had the faintest clue. Too bad that losing
newfound love was so devastating. She drifted into memories and,
finally, fatigue and stress drew her into a fitful sleep.

In the morning
she was ready to leave him. She stood back and looked down on his
body. He looked asleep and that was a kindness. Even his flesh
wasn't all that cold or hard, the way she would have imagined it
would be in death. As Logan dug a grave nearby, she watched
Torrent's body closely, memorizing every inch. How strange...it
looked as if his chest was rising and falling.....

What if?

She leapt over
to him at the thought, feeling for a pulse, for his breath, some
kind of clue he was actually living and they were making a mistake
burying him.

There was
nothing.

"Your mind can
play tricks on you in grief," said Logan, behind her. "Sometimes we
imagine someone we’ve lost is breathing when they’re not. I'm
sorry, Caroline. It seems so inadequate a thing to say, yet I'm
sorry from the heart of me."

Caroline backed
away from the body, stood, and gave him a hug. "Not your fault,"
she managed to whisper hoarsely. "I thought I saw his chest rising
and falling."

Logan nodded.
"Grief can be cruel." He paused. "Are you ready to say
goodbye?"

She hesitated.
"No. I'll never be ready…but that's just his body. His spirit and
soul will always be with me." She sounded so much braver than she
felt, and that was such an empty thing to say. The memory of him
was far too inadequate.

Logan nodded
and set his shovel aside. He walked over and picked up a blanket
woven of huge green leaves.

"What's that?"
Caroline asked as Logan laid it over Torrent's body.

"Logan was
awake all night making that," answered Kaitlyn. "It's a traditional
way of burying the Lycaon."

"It's
beautiful," murmured Caroline, pressing a hand to her mouth and
trying to hold back her tears.

Logan scooped
Torrent's body up as if the huge man weighed nothing, and walked
him over to the grave. Carefully, he laid his Lycaon brother
within. Each of them took turns shoveling dirt into the grave until
Torrent's leaf blanket covering body was no longer visible. As they
worked, they told stories of Torrent and his life.

Logan had grown
up with Torrent, so he told stories of their youth and how they
used to get in trouble with Rafian in town for being too rowdy and
not studying enough. Caroline learned about how Torrent had loved
owls—the non-shifter variety—and had had one for a pet when he was
a teenager.

Tears rolled
unchecked down Caroline's cheeks as she learned things she'd never
had enough time to discover about the man she loved so much.

Finally the
grave was full. Together they set rocks on top until it was
mid-afternoon. Caroline disappeared into the forest for a time and
returned with a bouquet of flowers that she set on the grave.

"I love you,
Torrent," she whispered. "And I'm proud of you. You saved two
peoples all with your sacrifice. You're a hero."

Kaitlyn set her
hand on her shoulder. "Ready to go?"

She took a
steadying breath and gave the grave one last, lingering look.
"Let's go." None of them wanted to take animal form right now, so
they turned and walked into the forest.

"Logan," asked
Caroline, "How did the guards discover us at the end?"

His jaw locked.
"It was Randolph. Old bastard. He told us he had customers, but the
first thing he did when he reached the shop was go outside and find
some guards."

She nodded. “He
was acting a little strange.”

“I had my eye
on him…just not close enough.”

They walked
together for a while in silence. "I'm sorry about Jessa," Caroline
said, finally.

"Me too. I
wish....I wish at least we'd been able to say goodbye."

"You knew you'd
be split up if the magick worked?"

He nodded. "It
was a small sacrifice compared to Torrent's."

No one spoke
again for a long time. They made camp for the night and Caroline
spent a cold, sleepless night without Torrent. They continued
traveling in the morning, now in animal form.

They made
better time and reached Torrent's front yard by evening the next
day.

Paige was
waiting inside. As soon as Caroline cleared the doorway, Paige
embraced her.

"Kaitlyn used
telepathy to tell me what happened. We decided we're going to stay
here, with you, for a while."

Caroline shook
her head. "No, please, I'd rather be alone. I need time to process
everything, time to grieve."

Paige nodded.
"I understand, but you know where we are if you need us."

"Of
course."

But all three
of them made it clear they didn't want to leave right away. They
made a stew and ate silently at the kitchen table. Hours later
Caroline had to practically push them out the door.

"I'm all right,
you guys.
Please.
I just need to be alone."

Finally they
all left and Caroline was free to fall apart. She slid down the
length of the door she closed behind them, into a sobbing puddle on
the floor. She cried until she thought her heart would melt.

When the tears
finally slowed, she struggled to her feet, climbed the stairs, and
went into the bedroom. There she ran her hands over all the clothes
Torrent had sent her from the village shop.

"Oh, Torrent, I
know you meant me to stay here...but I don't think I can."

According to
Kaitlyn, the portal back to the Flip Side would open for the final
time tomorrow.

Even though her
sisters lived here now, her grief was too great to allow her to
stay. Everywhere she turned there were reminders of him. Even her
sisters and their husbands were reminders. As much as it would pain
her to leave her sisters behind.... she would have to do it. It was
her only real shot at a normal life and she knew that Torrent, as
well as Kaitlyn and Paige, would understand.

She made her
way over to the bed and pulled back the covers. Finding Torrent's
pillow, she buried her face in it, searching for the faint traces
of his scent.

The next day
dawned bright and beautiful and warm. Caroline stepped into the
yard and looked up at the sky, wanting to throw a brick at those
white, fluffy clouds. A great man had died and it felt as though
the very atmosphere should honor him with darkness and rain.

Her sisters
were walking across the yard toward her. “Are you sure you want to
do this?” asked Paige as they grew closer.

She nodded. “I
hope you understand.”

Kaitlyn took
her hands. “We’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you
too.” Her voice broke on the words, emotion rising in her
throat.

“Come on,” said
Paige. “We better go before the portal closes.”

They hurried
across the yard and into the woods. Luckily the clearing wasn’t far
away. They sprinted through the forest, dodging branches and fallen
trees. Even in her human form, the exercise was lovely—cleared her
mind and emotions, if only for a while.

They reached
the clearing and went immediately to the center of it. There, the
portal shimmered, an opening to the Flip Side. Funny how she didn’t
think of it as
home
anymore, that reality where she’d been
born and had grown up.

Somehow she
would have to make it home again.

“Well, this is
it.” She looked between Kaitlyn and Paige. “I’m sorry, but I have
to do this. I can’t stay here. Not without him. Even if it means
leaving both of you. What I lost…the pain is too strong.”

Her sisters
rushed forward and each hugged her in turn. “We know,” whispered
Paige. “We understand the reminders here are too much. We don’t
blame you for leaving. I would want to go back if I were in your
position, too.”

“Thank you,
Paige. If I go back, maybe I can convince myself all this was a
dream.”

Kaitlyn’s eyes
were wet with tears. “You know you’ll never be able to forget
him.”

Emotion choked
Caroline for a moment. She swallowed it down. “I know, but let me
fool myself a little, won’t you?”

“Maybe,” added
Paige, “the pain won’t be as great when you’re removed from this
place.”

“Maybe,”
Caroline managed to force out.

“You better
go.” Kaitlyn jerked her head at the portal. “It doesn’t stay open
for long.”

Paige hugged
her again. “Remember us.”

“Of
course.”

Kaitlyn pulled
her into a final embrace. “We love you. Remember that.”

“I will.”

With one final
look at her sisters, she stepped through the doorway.

Winds buffeted
her clothing, tugged her ponytail free. She reached out to grab
onto something to brace herself, found nothing but air and
fell…..

The winds
stopped and she opened her eyes which she’d screwed shut tight. She
stood in the middle of her living room. She blinked, but her couch
still stayed where it was. Her teacup remained where she’d dropped
it, the tea now long dry. She still wore the clothes she’d been
wearing when she’d stepped through the portal from Selaryica.
Rushing to the front door, she opened it to find a pile of
newspapers.

Closing the
doors on the papers, she turned and sank to the floor.

She was
home.

* * * *

The days
blended seamlessly into each other. She returned to her cubicle job
and found her boss more relieved than angry that she’d returned
after going AWOL. Caroline would not have grieved the loss of her
database-editing job, but apparently her boss had really missed
her.

She explained
that she’d simply needed to get away on the anniversary of her
sister Paige’s disappearance. Citing her excellent work history and
competence, he allowed her to keep her job. Her boss had also lost
a sibling when he was just a boy.