Captured Love (3 page)

My heart was almost at its normal speed.

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I reached for my luggage on the carousel, and placed it at my feet before taking another deep breath.

Then, I turned toward the glass doors, ready to face the demons of my past.

***

I swallowed the sudden tears when she saw me approaching.

“My goodness, honey, you’re so thin!” Typical. Four years without seeing or speaking to her and the first thing she mentioned was the lack of food in my system. Neverthe-less, emotion took hold of me and, like a child, I dropped my purse and my luggage and ran to her. She embraced me with her strong arms. A sob shook my chest. “Honey, I missed you so darn much,” she whispered in my ear.

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“I missed you too,” I whispered back.

Jesus, I had even missed her light Southern drawl. It intensified whenever she was angry or too excited.

“Let me look at you.” She pushed me at arm’s length and turned me around. The wrinkle on her forehead deepened. “Isn’t your hair too long? For goodness sake.” She tugged a dark blond strand. “It’s almost at your butt, honey.”

With a small smile, I shook my head, not believing she had chosen to complain about my looks.

Then I looked at her. Really looked at her. She had been a beauty once. She still was, though age and stress were playing their part. Her round face had new wrinkles, and her smile didn’t touch her blue eyes. Her amber hair was cut shorter than I remember, and she was thinner too.

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“Hasn’t your grandmother fed you?” she asked, taking my bags from the sidewalk and placing them in the truck.

“Don’t blame her. I like being thin.” We slid inside the truck. With a loud and strange roar, the engine came to life, and Mama drove us out of the airport.

“It ain’t healthy to be too thin.”

“Well, I could say the same about you.

You lost weight too.”

She sighed, her eyes on the road. “Things haven’t been easy,” she muttered.

My heart wilted. The joy of seeing Mama again had erased the reason I had come from my mind.

“How is he?” I asked, my head low.

“Enduring.”

We reached Highway One, and among the many new buildings and constructions, I recognized a few old ones.

I turned toward her, as much as the seat belt around my torso allowed me. This 44/504

question had been bothering me since she first called two months ago. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Your father didn’t want you to know.

Not yet. You know how hardheaded he can be. He was too proud to admit he wasn’t well.” Around the wheel, her knuckles turned white. “But he has been in the hospital for three months now. The doctors don’t think he’ll make it much longer. And, since he is unconscious most of the time, I thought it was safe to let you know.” She glanced at me, her eyes shining with tears. “To let you come home.”

I averted my eyes and pretended to take notice of the familiar streets.

Home.

Lexington hadn’t been my home for four years. I didn’t think it would ever be again. I didn’t want it to be.

I opened my mouth to let her know my mind on the subject, but reconsidered. My 45/504

poor mama was already under too much stress. I didn’t need to add one more layer and risk having her collapsing too. It was summer. I had three months until I needed to return to Cleveland and to my classes. I didn’t want to stay that long, but I wouldn’t worry her with that right now.

“Is Jason home?”

A small smile took over her lips. “Jason went to North Carolina for a bike show. He should be back next weekend.” If my brother was at a motorcycle show, my cousin would be too. There was someone else who would probably be with them, but I tried not to think about him. “He’s attending college, you know.”

“Really? What’s his major?”

“Biology, for now. He’s gonna apply to med school next semester.”

Wow, my brother in med school. That was shocking. Or maybe not that much. It all depended on how long my father had been 46/504

sick, something I still didn’t know and wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

Just then, Mama drove past the hospital.

“Aren’t we going to the hospital?”

“Not today. Your father will spend the afternoon on exams. We could stop by, but I doubt we’ll be able to spend much time with him.” She offered me a cheerful smile I almost

believed.

“Besides,

it’s

almost

lunchtime.”

She drove us to the outskirts of town, and entered the subdivision I remembered so well. Ninety percent of the houses here were white with brown doors and windows.

On a corner lot, my parents’ house was a soft yellow with white doors and windows. A wide porch snaked around the two-story house, along with many flowers and shrubs.

A large tree in the back provided a nice shadow to lurk in during the hot summer.

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Everything was the same. Except for the care. The house was still small and lovely and cozy, and could probably still win the most beautiful yard award, but I could see, here and there, that it wasn’t one of the pri-orities anymore.

There were weeds in some spots in the grass, some shrubs in need of pruning, some flowers in need of watering, and the porch in need of a good broom.

An old blue Honda was parked in the driveway.

“Cadence is here,” Mama announced as she parked the truck beside the Honda.

Mama got out of the truck and picked up my bags from the back. She halted at my door when she realized I had not moved. “Aren’t you coming?”

Jason was out of state, so my cousin should be with him. Still, I had to ask. “Is Luke here?”

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“I don’t think so. He must be at work.

Though I think Lindsey is.”

So, he hadn’t gone to the show. Interesting. At least he had to work, and I didn’t need to worry about him just now.

The breath I was holding escaped my lips. Okay, I could work with Aunt Cadence and my cousin, Lindsey. However, I couldn’t, I wouldn’t, put up with Luke.

I stepped in the house and was caught and squeezed by Aunt Cadence’s heavy arms.

If Mama had lost weight, Cadence had gained some.

“I can’t believe you’re here!” she squealed, twisting me around.

She let go of me. I was about to make a joke and complain about her warm and happy demeanor when I saw Lindsey at her side.

“You’ve grown,” I muttered, staring her up and down. She looked so pretty, so sweet.

I did the math in my mind and gasped, 49/504

realizing she was now seventeen. A beautiful young lady. Her hair was long and fell in waves down her back. It was a couple of shades lighter than mine. Her round hazel eyes mirrored the smile on her lips. She was tall, a little taller than I was, but not as tall as her brother. “Wow, girl, you’re beautiful.”

“So are you,” she said as she hugged me.

Aunt Cadence snatched me from Lindsey, and pulled me to the kitchen where many pots and pans seemed alive on the range and in the oven. I inhaled deeply.

Sweet and spicy scents from my favorite dishes swirled around me. Jesus, I had missed their fine cooking. Nobody could cook like Mama and her sister.

And this setting, this kitchen, with its rustic cabinets and wooden table and chairs, was where they cooked the best food. I had spent a good part of my life in this kitchen with them.

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“Tell me the truth. My mother didn’t feed you, did she? You look so thin,” Aunt Cadence said as she pushed me into a chair.

“That’s what I said,” Mama commented.

She opened the cabinets and picked plates and glasses from them. “I’ll have to call Mom and complain about it.”

“As if you didn’t already,” I said. Mama gaped at me. “Do you think I don’t know you call at least once every two weeks and ask Grandma how I am? I’m not stupid.” A slight blush took over her cheeks.

“Well, you’re my daughter. I have the right to know how you’re doing.” She placed the plates and glasses on the table while Aunt Cadence stirred a boiling pot. “Things might not have parted well between us, but that was many years ago. Plenty of time to put it all behind and start over.” Her tone was firm.

She was hoping I wouldn’t argue. I decided I wouldn’t, so as not to upset her.

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Aunt Cadence was quick to change subjects. “How is college?”

That I could talk about. “Great. I really like it.”

“Architecture, right?”

“Yes, at Kent State University.”

“Fancy.” Aunt Cadence made an im-pressed face as she put a bowl with homemade bread before me. My mouth watered. “You’re on vacation now?”

“Yes.” I took one slice off the bread.

“The spring semester ended two days ago. I was going to take two classes during the summer, but I realized I can take them later.” I bit my lip. I had almost confessed that Grandma had convinced me I could take those classes later, that being here with Mama was more important. If it weren’t for Grandma’s wise words, I probably wouldn’t have come.

“’Nough talking,” Mama said. “Let’s eat.”

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They brought the pots to the table, and I had to restrain myself not to jump over them and yell, “My precious.” How could I have forgotten how much I loved Mama’s food?

During lunch we talked some more.

About Grandma, Cleveland, college. Lindsey told me about high school. She was going to start her senior year in the fall and was nervous about it. She was also nervous she wouldn’t get a good date for prom, which was still a year away!

“Did you go to prom?” Lindsey asked.

“With whom?”

“With some guy from my school. After graduation, I never saw him again.” Her face fell. I could feel she liked a guy, and she was daydreaming about being with him forever. I had been seventeen. I knew the feeling.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” she asked.

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“Nope.” I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk about Gavin. Besides, he wasn’t my boyfriend, and whatever we had, it was over now.

Aunt Cadence stood. “All right.” She pushed us toward the back door. “I don’t like extra hands in the kitchen, especially ones that don’t work my way. Shoo.” Well, if she didn’t want help, I wouldn’t be the one complaining. Lindsey and I walked out the door, and Luna, our Golden Retriever, came running to me.

“Gosh, Luna,” I whispered, kneeling in front of her. Jeez, how could I have forgotten about her? I made the calculations in my head. She was probably six or seven years old already. “You look so pretty, girl.” And she did. Her golden coat shone against the early afternoon sun, her honey-colored eyes sparkled, and her tail twitched as if she had drank coffee.

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She licked my cheek and I laughed. “I missed you too.”

With Luna at our feet, Lindsey and I sat on the swing on the porch. I took off my shoes and caressed Luna’s ears with my toes.

It was a hot Sunday afternoon, reminding me of Cleveland too much.

After a few quiet minutes, Lindsey asked, “Did you miss it here?” I could lie. I could pretend I never cared. I wanted to. “I missed it.”

“How did you cope with it?”

I sighed. “I was hurt. I was enraged. My pride had been squashed. I guess that forgetting wasn’t so difficult.”

“If you could go back in time, would you do things differently?”

“For a long time, I wished I could. I wished I could do everything differently.

Now, I’m glad I live in Cleveland. Grandma is an awesome roommate. I love college. I 55/504

have Kristin, my best friend. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Again, we fell into silence.

I let my head hang backward while Lindsey moved the swing. I could fall asleep like this. The surrounding was familiar, the cooking scents were welcoming, the day looked nice, Luna was great company, and being with Lindsey was almost like old times.

Suddenly, I didn’t feel nervous anymore.

But that all went down the drain when Luke showed up on the back porch.

“Hey, cousin,” he said with a tentative smile.

My heart froze, and I felt like my life was being sucked away through my bare skin.

He still looked the same—tall, golden hair like Lindsey’s, round, dark brown eyes—but he was wider, like he had been working out, and now he had stubble over his chin as if he was growing a goatee.

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He came closer. “Won’t you say hi?” I shot up, pumping adrenaline into my veins. “How dare you come here?” He raised his palms. “I came to say hi.” Luna barked at him.

“And I want you out of here.” My cheeks were on fire. Pure anger. “While I’m in town, you’re not welcomed here.” I ran into the house and he came after me. “Mama!” I found her in the living room with Aunt Cadence. “Tell him he is not welcomed here.

Not while I’m here.”

“Son,” Aunt Cadence started, disappointment washing over her words. “We’ve talked about this.”

“I had to try,” he said.

I pointed to the door. “Out!”

“Please, Luke,” Mama said, low but firm.

For a couple of tense seconds, Luke stood his ground, and Luna, who had followed us inside, growled at him. Then, his 57/504

wide shoulders slumped, and he dragged his feet out of my house.

“I don’t want him here,” I said, my breathing loud and rapid.

“He’s family, honey. You won’t be able to avoid him,” Mama said.

“If you want me to stay here, he has to stay away.”

“Jess,” Aunt Cadence called me, her voice gentle and careful. I was already shaking my head. “Luke is sorry about the past. I wish you two could talk about it. I wish you could forgive him.”

Blood pumped through my veins. I would explode at any second. “He helped that … that jerk.” My knees gave out, and I leaned against the wall. Mama darted toward me, but I raised my hand to keep her from touching me. I didn’t want her pity. I didn’t want anyone’s pity. “Luke was there. Luke
helped
him.”

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“Honey.” Mama tried holding me, but I slapped her hands away. “Ryan is not—”

“Don’t say his name!” I interrupted her.

“Don’t ever say his name again.” Aunt Cadence held Mama’s hand. “Give the girl some time, Corrine,” she said, pulling Mama back. She gestured to me. “Let her be.