Captured Innocence (CSA Case Files) (32 page)

Lauren walked toward the door with every intention of gathering her purse and leaving.  She’d walk to the end of the block and call for a taxi. 
Maybe she’d even see if she could fly to Florida later tonight instead of tomorrow.  She didn’t think she could take another night alone in her apartment, especially after seeing Connor once more. 

“I need you.”

Lauren stopped, her heart racing.  Had she heard him right? 

“
I can’t…” Connor broke off, but Lauren still didn’t turn around for fear of not seeing in his eyes the one thing she wanted most of all. “I can’t imagine where I would go from here if you walk out.  I was so caught up in trying to give you something to have when we ended, that I didn’t see what you’ve given me.”

Lauren looked down, surprised to find that her right fingers were now closed over her left wrist.  She turned around and faced him, now needing to see the honesty in his blue eyes. 

“And what have I given you, Connor?”

“The promise of a future.”  Connor took a step forward.  “
Everything that I haven’t let myself believe was possible.  I imagine a future with you now.  I imagine the rest of my days with you.  A woman who is strong, yet submissive in her love.  A woman who isn’t afraid to know what she wants and won’t settle for less.  A woman who won’t let me get away with only being half a man living in this goddamned civilized society.  It didn’t matter out on the battlefield, but it sure as hell matters here.  I don’t want to live in it alone.”

“I didn’t say I loved you,” Lauren whispered, referring to his earlier statement.  His image
became blurry from her tears.

“
I’m not saying that your independent streak doesn’t drive my inner Dom to the brink of insanity at times,” Connor said, as if she hadn’t spoken, “but you bring it back into focus when we cross the threshold in the bedroom.”

“But I do,” Lauren murmured, knowing she needed to say it louder.  Maybe she
had needed to hear herself admit it first.  A tear escaped, rolling down her cheek.  “I do love you.”

“I want to make you coffee every morning and see your face light up at the first sip,” Connor said, taking a few more steps closer.  Had he not heard her?  “I want to take you back out into the snow and watch your cheeks turn red from the cold, only to bring you back inside and have them flush for a totally different reason.”

“I love you.”

“Fuck,” Connor murmured, shaking his head and finally closing the distance between them.  He gathered her up to him, coat and all, and buried his face in her hair.  “You did say
it.  Say it again.”

“I love you.”

“Again,” Connor ordered, his arms tightening around her waist.

“I love you,” Lauren said loudly, allowing the rest of the tears to fall as she laughed. 

“Christ,” Connor said, finally putting her back down on the soles of her boots and cradling her face in his palms.  His thumbs gently wiped away her tears.  “I have never felt fear like that…in thinking I’d ruined everything.  You are the air I breathe and the universe in which my body belongs.  Without you, I am less than nothing.”

“I am with you,” Lauren whispered, tilting her head and placing a kiss on his palm. 

“And I’ve never been so grateful,” Connor replied.  His blue tourmaline eyes connected with hers and Lauren swore her soul heated from the love that radiated from within.  “I love you, Red.”

Chapter Thirty-Five

“You said I had five minutes,” Lauren said, snuggling deeper into Connor’s robe
as she shuffled across the hardwood floor.  She tried to sound irritated, but knew that she hadn’t pulled it off.  Connor raised one eyebrow as she passed and headed toward the bedroom.  “Fine.  Two minutes.  I’ll be ready.”

“Um, title?  Have you forgotten already?”

“Sir!” Lauren yelled out laughing, knowing she’d probably pay for that slip-up later. 

She closed the bedroom door, taking in the rumpled sheets and their clothes strewn all over the floor. 
They’d spent the entire day in bed, although not necessarily having sex the whole time, before raiding what was left in the cupboards.  Finally caving in, they’d called for pizza.  A lot of time had been spent talking.  Several topics were covered, from the case to their families. 

Lauren was honest in her summary of the night
preceding the shooting.  She told him of her nightmares and what she’d experienced in the van.  She could see the regret in his eyes that he hadn’t been there for her, but he was here now.  That’s all that mattered and she’d conveyed as much.

Connor told her all about his father and his new lady friend
, whom Connor found to be very sweet.  She sounded very nice and Lauren couldn’t wait to meet them both.  He told her of his trip, his walks on the beach, and the dinners with his father. 

He’d also caught her up to date with the aftermath of the case.  Joel and Gerry had pleaded guilty, but hadn’t had to serve time in jail.  Kyle’s lawyer got him off on lack of evidence.  Whip had closed down.  They also discussed Jax’s revelation at the office regarding buying Masters
, and Connor said that if he went along with Jax as a partner, it would give them an entire play area to themselves after hours.  Lauren liked knowing that they could play privately until she felt that she could handle a public scene.  Connor had laughed, saying he would decide if they ever played publicly, because he liked the idea that she was his alone.

Now Connor was looking forward to a scene and knew that she was ready by her body’s response to his suggestion.  He
’d asked if she’d maintained her bare pussy and to her mortification, she said yes.  When he’d asked her to bare her breasts while they enjoyed their pizza at the kitchen table, she’d done so without hesitation. 

By the time they were finished eating, Connor slipped his hand through the gap of her robe and then through the folds of her pussy.  His finger came away glistening and when he licked it clean, stating that it was the best dessert he’d ever had, she knew her cheeks had flushed.

“What the hell can I use?” Lauren whispered to herself, glancing around the room. 

When the table conversation turned to their D/s relationship within the bedroom, Lauren hinted that she’d like to take things
further.  Connor immediately shot her down, telling her that he would be the one to decide if and when she was ready to use a blindfold or more strict bondage implements.  He’d explained that the signs would show themselves, as he would continuously watch her not only during scenes, but during regular hours as well.

When she tried to tell him that her fear dissipated to a manageable anxiety when she was with him, Connor just shook his head, stopping the conversation in its tracks.  Lauren wanted to prove it to him and several ways
had instantly come to mind.  One of them she was about to put into action, regardless of the price. Although the expense of a pink ass might not be so bad.

Scurrying to the closet, Lauren found what she needed.  The feeling of anticipation mixed with trepidation that overcame her before a scene with Connor returned full force.  Dropping her robe in the midst of the other articles of clothing, she then walked to the bed and stood at the end.  Before placing her arms and legs in proper position, she took a deep breath and looked at the
tie in her hands.  She’d retrieved it from the closet and since it was wide and black, should make for a nice blindfold.  Could she do this?

With trembling fingers, she brought the scarf up to her eyes.  Letting her lashes lower, she placed the fabric over them and quickly tied the ends at the back of her head.  Her mass of curls kept the tight band of material from falling.  It was perfect, if she discounted that her body instantly started to react as if
she were enclosed in a tight space. Her breathing sounded rather shallow in her ears as she tried to lace her fingers together underneath the knot she made in the silk fabric

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Connor
murmured in a gruff voice.  She felt his hands brush up against her arm and a little bit of reason started to seep through.  She grabbed ahold of his wrists.  “Red, you’re not ready for this.”

“Please,
Sir,” Lauren pleaded, wanting this to be her gift to him.  “Just…let me try.”

Lauren could hear his shallow breathing and that ball of anxiety that was in her chest started to loosen.  It didn’t
completely go away and her heart was still palpitating, but there was something about this that just felt right.  Connor slowly pulled away and she let her fingers drift away from his skin.  She then situated her hands in the proper position behind her head.

“
I’m ready, Sir,” Lauren said, wondering where he’d gone.  She’d felt him shift away and found herself listening intently.  “Sir?”

“It’s a shame that my play bag is sitting at the club,” Connor said, his voice coming from the left of her, where his closet was located.  “We’ll have to come up with something that will
make a good substitute.”

Lauren’s senses were warring with each other
, and while she thought she had a handle on her fear, she wasn’t so sure that it wasn’t winning out over the arousal that Connor created.  She needed his touch, which seemed to ground her.  Without it, she felt adrift as if she were sinking into the black depths of the sea.  The trembling started to get worse and her knees felt like they were going to give.

“Here we are,” Connor whispered next to her ear.  Before the startled gasp left her lips, he’d pulled the tie up and over her head.  She went to protest, but he claimed her lips, effectively silencing her.  Pulling slightly away, his smooth, warm tongue outlined her lips in a sensuous glide.  “This old crop I found is nicely broken in and will work very effectively on your ass as I remind you of who is in command when we walk through that bedroom door.  Your body is mine.  We have all the time in the world to ease your fears one step
at a time and one scene at a time.  In order for that to sink into that intelligent, keen, submissive mind, you’ll turn around.  Palms face down on the mattress.  I want your feet spread apart, giving me access to your pussy.”

A shiver traveled through Lauren’s body at how deep Connor’s voice had become, along with the darkening of his eyes.  She wasn’t so sure it was relief or regret her heart was feeling as she turned around on his command. 
Lauren had wanted her offering to reveal how much trust she had in him. 

“Sir,” Lauren said, placing herself into position, “I wanted —”

“I know what you wanted, Red,” Connor said, caressing her ass with one of his hands.  His voice was soft with reassurance.  “But you need to understand that not everything needs to be rushed and you won’t always get what you want.  I’ll give you what you need.  As I said, each scene we have will have a purpose and right now, I will use this one to teach you your place.”

It was the sound of the crop that startled Lauren more than the slight sting on her ass.  She fisted the rumpled sheets as she laid her cheek against the cool material.  Instead of continuing, Connor stopped and ran a finger through her folds until he’d found her clit.  He rubbed the little nub in circles.

“Hmmm,” Lauren hummed.  She was unable to prevent her feet from lifting her up on her toes.  “Sir…”

“Does that feel good?” Connor asked softly, not varying the rhythm.

“Yes, Sir,” Lauren replied, now moving her hips slightly in cadence with his hand.

He didn’t stop and Lauren felt her body tightening.  Connor was going to make her come.  Lauren let her lashes drift down, closing out the light.  Instead of the confinement she’d felt with the blindfold, this type of darkness enveloped her within its warmth.  Tingling sensations were starting to travel up her legs.  Connor’s touch was driving her toward that release and with the way her body was displayed, there was nothing holding her back.

“Did I say you could come?” Connor asked, his voice low and indicating that she was to answer immediately.

“No, Sir,” Lauren’s eyes popped open when she felt him pull his hand away. 
She wanted to cry out that he had to touch her, but knew that would gain her nothing.  Her pussy was experiencing a spasm, but there was nothing to grab onto.  He’d stopped just shy of her body exploding.  How had he known?  “But please, Sir, may I come?”

Maybe by her asking for permission, Connor would place his fingers back on her now engorged clit.  She felt her juices coating her inner thighs. 
But when he didn’t touch her again, Lauren squeezed her eyes tight as she tried to rein in her body’s response to his touch.

“No, you may not.  But I will take you just shy of that release several times before I decide
if you finally understand that I am the one in control.”  Connor brought down the crop again, leaving heat to bloom outward on her left cheek.  She rose up on her toes for an entirely different reason this time.  “It is not the blindfold or the cuffs that bind you, Red.  It is my command.”

Lauren knew he was right and that when the time came for him to blindfold her, it would be magical and without fear.  Until then, she did trust him to push her boundaries and expand her limits.  She also knew that no matter what she said or did right now, it would not cause him to let her find relief immediately.  He brought the crop down several more times until her right cheek started to feel ignored.

“You’re cream is showing me that you’re enjoying this a little too much,” Connor said, a smile in his voice.  “But that’s exactly how I want it.  Let’s see if I can make you plead for that orgasm.”

Lauren had no doubt she would be screaming for it by the time he was done.  Again, his fingers slide through her drenched folds, seeking out her clit.  It wasn’t hard to find considering it was vastly swollen.  She rose on her tiptoes when the connection was made and she didn’t bother to quiet her cries. 

“That’s right, Red.  Let me hear you.”

“Please, please, please,” Lauren begged.
  Was he really going to leave her hanging again?

Connor glided his finger inside her tight channel and her sheath immediately tried to keep him there.  Unfortunately, her juices made it impossible and he mimicked
what he would do when he finally got his cock inside of her.  In and out, there was nothing she could do but feel the heightening and swirling sensations as they spiraled out of control.  Lauren’s vision had just started to fade, indicating her release, when he pulled his finger out of her pussy.

“No,” Lauren
cried out, unable to help herself. 

The crop landed again, this time to her right cheek.  Several rapid successions later, she remembered his title.

“Sir!”

“Will you top from the bottom again?”

“No, Sir!”  Lauren had to dig her toes into the carpet as the crop made contact with her flesh once more.  The heat seemed to encompass her entire backside, but it did nothing to diminish her arousal.  “Mmmmm.”

C
onnor stroked the stinging spot with his fingers that now felt cool, when she knew they were anything but.  He chuckled.

“I’m thinking you’ll say anything to get that elusive orgasm that I’ve been holding back from you.” Connor trailed his finger down her crevice and over her dark hole.  “One day, I’ll have you here.  We’ll work your body up in order to accept my cock through this tight ring.  As for topping from the bottom, I’m sure you’ll try again.  And I’ll be honored to take this crop back to your ass to show you who controls these scenes.”

Connor’s finger ran a circle around her sphincter and she heard another chuckle come from deep within his chest when a spasm was initiated.  Instead of breaking through, his finger continued to blaze a trail back down to her swollen clit.  One touch had her digging her toes into the carpet.

“That’s right,
Red.  Time for another round.”

Lauren felt tears prickle the back of her lids as his finger circled the outer
area of the distended flesh.  Could this break a person?  She’d never been told she couldn’t have an orgasm before, let alone taken to the brink twice, only to have it yanked out from under her.  Now he was doing it a third time?

“Sir,” Lauren breathed, tightening her hold on the covers.  Her fingers felt like
they could shatter.  “I-I can’t take anymore.”

“You can take a lot more,” Connor said in disagreement.  “Trust me.”

Connor lightly started to stroke her clit once more.  Lauren continued to moan through the pleasure, feeling like her body was flying higher and higher.  Her knees were locked into place, but she didn’t know for how much longer.  The strength it took remain in position had diminished rapidly.

“Hearing you moan like that makes my cock hard,
Red.”  Connor finished manipulating her clit with a tap that sent electricity through her body.  “I might just come from your screams.”