Captured Innocence (CSA Case Files) (17 page)

“Eight or nine hours,” Lauren replied, her warm breath brushing his chest.  Connor cringed at her answer.  That was a long time for a little girl to be confined.  “My father wanted to climb down the well, but the owner of the horse farm wouldn’t allow it.  They called 911 and requested help, but the nearest town was a good thirty-minute drive.  My parents and sister never left, continuously talking to me.”

“What
took the firemen so long to get you out?”

“The crevice contained jagged edges and every time I tried to pull my hand out, the rocks would tear my skin.”  Connor had tucked her in on his
left side, so her left wrist was visible.  He lifted it up and kissed it gently, finally seeing the almost invisible white scars.  “When the firemen arrived, one of them was able to be lowered into the well, but needed special equipment to get my wrist released.  It took a couple of hours to locate what they needed and then they were afraid the well would crumble in if they took too much rock out of the side.”

“I can just imagine how terrified you were,” Connor murmured, slipping his fingers through hers and resting their hands on his chest.  “And what your parents and sister must have gone through.”

“Anytime something closes around my wrist, it’s as if I’m eight years old again, trapped in that well,” Lauren said, tightening her fingers against his.  “So, I avoid all situations that would put me back in that place and time.”

They both fell silent and Connor continued to hold her, wishing they were at his
house.  He had a fireplace that he loved to use in the wintertime, but it was useless dwelling on things that couldn’t be changed.  Her fear could be altered though, given the right circumstances.  From their earlier exchange and Lauren’s wariness that he would make suggestions regarding her phobia, it was obvious other people had made recommendations. 

Questions ran amok
in his mind, but Connor was logical, if not methodical.  He wouldn’t broach the subject unless he had more answers first.  One being, did she want to be in the lifestyle?  She had submissive tendencies, which coincided with his dominant ones.  That he was sure of.  She surrounded herself with the lifestyle almost every hour of the day.  Although they agreed on casual, it would be nice to walk away knowing he’d given her something other than good sex. 

Chapter Eighteen

“We haven’t lost power yet,” Connor said, coming up behind her
the following morning and kissing her neck.  “Have you checked the news to see how much snow has fallen?”

Lauren turned her head to see that he was shirtless.  He wore his jeans low to the hip and unbuttoned on top.  How did he expect her to make them pancakes with
out burning herself if he walked around her apartment like that?  She glanced down, knowing that she was naked underneath her robe.  At least she was technically covered.

“No, not yet.  But from the looks of it, “Lauren said, gesturing toward the window with her head, “the winds have definitely picked up.”

“Can I help?” Connor asked, edging his way to the coffee machine.  He snagged a piece of bacon before reaching into the cabinet for a mug.  “Do you need a refill?” 

“No thanks.”  Lauren finished stirring the pancake batter and turned to the island, where she had the electric skillet set up.  “How has work been?  Any closer to finding out who murdered Marilyn Sweeney?”

“We have a few leads,” Connor replied, walking around to where the stools were.  He sat facing her with another strip of bacon, a big smile on his face.  “What about you?  Anything jog your memory about an order or a conversation?  No more SUVs?”

“No more suspicious vehicles and trust me, there’s nothing to remember.”  Lauren used a ladle and scooped the batter, pouring
a nice circle onto the hot skillet.  “I haven’t been to the club to use the vendor table in a while.  I was supposed to go last night to the social hour, but with the storm, Joel called and cancelled.”

Lauren frowned, remembering their conversation and the weird vibe she got from it.  She went to work, pouring a second pancake and watching the batter bubble.

“Why the frown?” Connor asked, taking a drink of his coffee.

“Joel just sounded a little tense, I guess,” Lauren said, grabbing the spatula.  “Tense isn’t the right word, though.  I don’t know.  I brought up that Terry seemed like such a nice guy and then Joel asked if I thought someone else murdered Marilyn and if the police had stopped by.  It was nothing, really.”

They fell into silence and Lauren flipped the pancakes, waiting for the other side to brown to a golden hue.  It wasn’t an uncomfortable stillness and she found she rather enjoyed Connor’s company.  After sharing with him what had happened to her as a child, they talked about mundane things.  He’d yet to share with her something from his past.

“You know, I think you purposefully started talking about the Minnesota Vikings
last night instead of telling me something about yourself.”  Lauren pointed the spatula his way, garnering her another smile.  “You said a story for a story.”

“I think it was you who said that, but I’ll fulfill my end of the bargain.” Connor said, placing his mug on the counter.  It was hard not to stare at his chest when he was sitting right in front of her, but she tried to concentrate and look into his eyes.  There was amusement lurking in those blue eyes of his.  “
What would you like to know?”

“You mentioned you’re an ex-Marine.”

“There is no such thing as an ex-Marine,” Connor said, his brow furrowed.  She laughed, seeing how the term agitated him.  “Once a Marine, always a Marine.”

“My apologies, Mr. Marine,” Lauren said, taking a little bow.  “So tell me what made you want to be one?”

The two pancakes were done, so she dished them out onto his plate and pushed it toward him.  The syrup and bacon were already to his right, so Connor was set.  She went about ladling more batter into the skillet. 

“I was raised in Jersey and we were blue collar,” Connor said, not touching the food on his plate.  Before she could ask him why, he continued, “There weren’t a ton of options for me and I knew I could never afford college.  My father does well, and it was enough to support us, but college was too much.”

“Are you not hungry?” Lauren asked, breaking into the conversation.  “Or do you think I’m that bad of a cook?”

“I’m waiting for you,” Connor said, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.  “My father would tan my hide if I ate while you were still cooking.”

“It sounds like your father raised you right.”  Lauren smiled and flipped her pancakes.  “So, college was out and you chose the military.  Why the Marines?”

“Why not?” Connor countered.  He picked up his coffee and took another drink.  “I’m not one to do t
hings half-assed.  I wanted to be the best and I was willing to work for it.  Being a Marine isn’t a bed of roses.  We get the shit jobs that nobody else wants, but we do it with honor and integrity with little thanks or appreciation.  But we’re not there for anything other than the mission.  It’s our duty.”

When Connor was done speaking and tilted his head toward her pancakes, Lauren realized that she got so caught up in hearing his story that she was burning them.  Quickly flipping them again, she sighed in relief that they were still edible.  Looking up at him through her lashes, she saw him fighting a grin.

“Anyway, I went to boot camp, and for twelve years I served our country.”

“Retired?”

Connor shook his head.  “You have to have twenty years to retire.”

“But you only had eight left.”  Lauren scooped the pancakes out and placed them on her plate.  There was still batter left, but once they ate and wanted a second round, she would make more.  “Why not finish?”

“Because Crest made me and Jax offers we couldn’t refuse.” 

Connor grabbed a couple pieces of bacon and put them on her plate.  He pulled it to the setting next to his and waited for
her to walk around the island.  Lauren snagged her coffee and joined him, really liking the fact that he’d waited on her.  She wasn’t sure why it made such a big impact, but it did nonetheless.

“Jax, the one who staged the break-in on my apartment?” Lauren said, giving him a wry look.

“Yes,” Connor said, laughing, “that Jax.  But he’s a good guy.  Like I said, neither one of us could turn down Crest’s proposal.”

“What offer was that?” Lauren asked, reaching for the syrup.

“A chance at a normal life.”  Connor waited for her to finish and then added the sugary maple liquid to his pancakes.  “Jax and I were in the same unit and had already been on two combat tours.  A third was likely and it’s tiring…not just on the body.”

They both ate while Connor shared stories of his time in the Marines and she realized just how close he and Jax were upon finding out they
’d purchased an old Victorian house and turned it into a duplex.  They sounded more like brothers than friends. 

“Okay,” Connor said, finishing off his last bite.  “Enough about me.  I have a question for you.”

Lauren was still working on her breakfast, but she knew that he still had to be hungry.  The pancakes weren’t large and there was still quite a bit of batter left.  She was about to slide off of her stool to make him more, when he put a hand on her arm and shook his head.  He stood and walked around to the other side, picking up the bowl.

“You’re my guest,” Lauren said, shaking her head and feeling bad that he was going to cook.  “I’ll make us more.”

“I can do it while you finish what’s on your plate,” Connor said. 

It was one thing to sit next to him and eat, while having such a carnal view of his body, but
seeing Connor cooking was in an entirely different spectrum.  Lauren put down her fork to enjoy the sight and sip her coffee.  She knew what topic he was going to hit and though she was ready to rebuff any suggestions he made, she knew it was the Dominant in him that needed to make them.

“Hit me.  What question do you have?” Lauren said, leaning back in her chair.

“You make it sound like you already know what I’m going to ask, Red.”  Connor cocked an eyebrow, but he didn’t stop pouring the batter into the skillet.  “Give the woman a little sex, and now she can read my mind.”

Lauren laughed,
choking down a little bit of coffee.  From the gleam in his eye, Connor seemed to have made that comment on purpose.  She grabbed a napkin and wiped away the tiny spills.  He was still grinning like a madman.

“You’re bad,” Lauren said, shaking her head and standing up to get another refill.

“Not as bad as I could be,” Connor replied with a smirk.  “Okay, Miss Know It All, what is my question?”

“Your question,” Lauren said as she brought the pot over to the counter and refilled their cups, “is have I ever tried to overcome my phobia.  My response is yes and I can already answer your second question.  No, I don’t want to try again.”

Lauren walked back over to the burner and placed the pot back in its rightful place.  She picked up her sugar cubes and turned to the refrigerator for her creamer, but Connor beat her to it. 

“You’re
wrong.”  Connor kissed her and seemed pleased that she hadn’t guessed right.  He handed her the carton and then shut the door, before going back to watch his pancakes.  “Those might have been my second and third questions, but not my first.”

Lauren couldn’t suppress a smile as she walked back to her stool.  She liked this playful side to him.  She dumped her sugar cubes in the coffee and then poured in the right amount of creamer.  He handed her a spoon before she even realized she’d forgotten it.   

“Then what is this much anticipated question?” Lauren asked, clanking the metal spoon against the cup before shaking it off and placing it on a napkin. 

“If you didn’t have claustrophobia, would you be in the lifestyle?”

Connor had just flipped the pancakes once more before zeroing his gaze on her, seemingly watching for whatever subtle signs she might give.  Not having expected his question to be worded quite that way, Lauren was sure he could see a lot.  She took a sip of her coffee, not caring that it scalded her mouth.  She just needed the extra time to formulate her answer.

“Maybe.”

Connor cocked his eyebrow again and gave her a disbelieving look.  Yeah, yeah, she knew it was a cop-out answer, but responding any other way was bound to lead them down a path she wanted to avoid.

“Fine,” Lauren exclaimed, putting her mug down on the counter.  She pushed her plate away and leaned forward.  “Yes, I probably would.  And yes, I have already tried with a man I trusted and it ruined our friendship.  He was a good man and although this was years ago, he still felt uncomfortable with the way things went down.  It’s a case of been there and done that…have the T-shirt.  Why is it that every dominant male I run into thinks he
can fix what’s wrong with any woman?”

Connor scooped the pancakes out with the spatula and put them on his plate when she shook her head that she didn’t want anymore.  Lauren tried to wait patiently for his answer, but couldn’t remain still.  She picked up her mug to have something to hold onto. 
She knew having this conversation would make her antsy.  It always did.

“I take it you tried more than once?”  Connor came back around the island and took his seat. 
He immediately reached for the syrup as if they were having a normal serious conversation.  “Your question to me makes it sound like more than your friend thought they could help you.”

“Considering my business,
” Lauren said, turning her stool slightly so that she faced him, “I’ve been out a few times here and there with men in the lifestyle who felt they could
help
me in conquering my fear.  It wasn’t that much of a stretch of the imagination to think you’d offer the same.”

Lauren inwardly cringed at how bitchy that sounded.  She didn’t mean to have it come across that way, but she wasn’t going to sugarcoat it either.  In her experience, men like him felt they were saviors.

“Ahhh,” Connor replied around a bite of bacon.  He swallowed and then pointed the rest of the strip at her.  “You’re lumping me with all of those men.  And here I thought I was different.”

Lauren’s lip turned up, unable to prevent another grin from appearing.  Okay, so she really liked that he poked fun at himself.  That didn’t mean he would get a shot at helping her with her phobia.

“I know firsthand how it can destroy a friendship.”  Lauren took another sip of coffee, trying to word her next sentence carefully.  “We’re in a casual relationship, but I would still like to retain some type of friendship when we go our separate ways.”

“Like me that much, do you?” Connor said, popping the rest of the bacon in his mouth. 

She stared at his lips a little too long, but found that her body was ready for another tumble in the sheets…even though she couldn’t remember what round of sex they were on.  She was coming to really appreciate this snowstorm.

“Maybe,” Lauren replied, keeping the coffee cup in front of her mouth so that he didn’
t see her smile. 

She watched as he finished eating, another comfortable silence settling over them.  He seemed to be pondering something and
she wondered if maybe she’d been wrong about assuming his need to
fix
her.  Connor might have just wanted to offer a non-sexual suggestion in regards to claustrophobia. 

“
Are you saying that you are different than every other Dom out there?”